ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Fights

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Trihunter
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ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Fights

Post by Trihunter » Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:05 pm

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Here's the thread for all of the fights and stuff. Let the wars begin!
The rules document can be found here. Mostly standard fare, a bit of a mix of ROBOT4 and CBC4 rules.

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The Dodecagon


Hazards and Features:
  • The Pit: In the centre of the arena sits a raised pit. Flippers with 5 or more Weapon can consistently score an OotA after lining up, although lower power flippers may be able to score one too, with proper positioning...
  • Drumroll, Please: Drum-boxes flank the walls of the ring. Get tossed into one, and expect to go flying, as these drums dish out damage equal to a 15-power spinner 12-power spinner (minimum 1 damage). If a bot's caught on top, they can stop and reverse to help free them. We've plenty of OotA-space in this ring, no need to push it.
  • Spike Strips: The walls of this arena are spiked. A proper ram could impale opponents on them, or just deal a little more visible damage.
  • Funky Fresh Beats!: When RPing, both participants may choose to offer fight music for the duration of the bout. You will be judged if your music is trash, though :P

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Accolades
Official participant in ARCcon Europe
ROBOT 2 FW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 MW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 HW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 Most Trophies (Runner-up)
Official voter in OSCARC 2018
Best Meme 2018 (Mimi-Chan)
Trophies
ICEcrown Champion (Steelhead)
CBC3 SHW Runner-Up (Hartmann's Youkai Bot II)
CBC4 LW Runner-Up (Scrapper)
ROBOT4 Sportsman Runner-Up (Split Personality)
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Trihunter
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Location: The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
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Arc: The Dirty Dozen - Round Zero

Post by Trihunter » Tue Sep 15, 2020 4:39 am

Round Zero
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How many shields are there in this fight again?
Super Soldier opens by approaching it's opponent while Tidal Wave being the faster bot decides to just wait. Yes Hii just waits in the starting square, moving a bit to show that his bot can in fact move.
So we fast forward the first few seconds until Super Soldier gets close, it tries to attack at an angle but it ends up being weapon to weapon because Hii saw it coming from several kilometers away as the shield on Super Soldier can only spin in one direction and code didn't think on not yelling out loud in the pits that he plans on doing this. The hit happens and cap bounces and gyros all over the arena for several seconds while Tidal Wave waits patiently at home until it eventually lands upright.
After that first hit Super Soldier takes the initiative again and would you know that the exact same sequence of events happens again? unpredictable. The encounter after that goes down more or less the same way but with Super Soldier landing inverted, that is pretty bad as it can't... code does ????? and Super Soldier is now upright thanks to voodoo magic or something idk.
After that happens both of our masters of surprise and unpredictability go back to waiting in the starting square and trying an angled attack. Big hit and lots of gyro later cap is on its back again, and it seems it ran out of life alert as it isn't doing anything supernatural this time so it starts getting counted out.
While the countdown is going Hii thinks for a while and then finally he actually comes out for once! he goes for the finishing hit but he took too much time deciding and the time runs out before he gets there, anticlimactic ending i know.

Your winner, by knockout in 0:58, is Tidal Wave!

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Whee, nobody brought a weapon! I’m starting to like this arena after all!

Both bots head out and very quickly get stuck in, and Floppy Teeth gets its Pinocchio-ass nose under the front wedge of OTSC, which has opted against using its forks. However it is off-center, and when two wide robots try to push each other with such a narrow point of contact, it’s very easy for one to just get spun to the side, which is what happens, and OTSC’s away, but charges back in – oh, and gets wedged again, but it’s a good ram regardless, and Floppy Teeth can’t make too much happen pushing-wise.

OTSC disengages again – uh oh, but gets under Floppy Teeth! The nose is now beached on the wedge, and thanks to Floppy Teeth’s genius anti-wheelie outriggers it’s tipped back and treading thin air! And with no active weapon, it’s basically all up to OTSC to see where it can push the seagull menace. It tries to line it up for the wall drums, but turning it like that tips FT sideways a bit, and the big tires finally catch the floor. It flings itself away, leaving a trail of rubber, and spins madly like a thwackbot.

There’s some more circling, jockeying for position, and… ooh, Floppy Teeth’s under again, pushing it back towards the hazard, but OTSC’s tires squeal, and while it doesn’t overpower Floppy Teeth it does force it to an angle – and there it is away again! It’s pursued, and they slam together, violently bouncing OTSC away – almost faceplanted there, but no joy. Despite having the wider wedge, OTSC gets lucky again, and again Floppy Teeth’s high-centered – and violently slammed into the arena spikes! That could easily have flipped Floppy Teeth if it weren’t for the sort of recurve of OTSC’s scoop. It does still get a pin for its trouble, though.
Uhh, long story short eventually someone finally gets put into the drums, and by someone I mean Floppy Teeth. It goes in ass-first and it looks like the wheels didn’t actually get caught, but there’s a huge impact, and OTSC ends up on its back while Floppy Teeth ends up in deep space. Ahh, there we go, it crashes back down, but it is now inverted, which means its wedge is pretty much useless.

Floppy Teeth doinks itself into the drums again, which does flip it back over, but the razor-sharp, paper-cutting tip of its wedge is now… not. Also it looks floppier than normal, and I think some of the shock mounts got torn loose. The wedging game is now significantly more in OTSC’s favor, and Floppy Teeth is still just as easy to high-center, but just as awkward to actually push. OTSC does get its left wheel into the hazards late in the match, but it’s a glancing blow and the rear wedge takes the brunt of the abuse. There’s foam on the floor and a big flap of tire is now flopping around, but FT finishes the match still driving. OTSC’s also taken a big hit to the side, which got one of its anti-doing-the-thing hoops torn open and 3 of 4 bolt heads machined off the mounting block. This would be certain doom if FT ever got it to actually faceplant, but it doesn’t.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Floppy Teeth 2, OTSC 3
Aggression: Floppy Teeth 2, OTSC 3
Control: Floppy Teeth 2, OTSC 3

Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges’ Decision, is OTSC v2.0!

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Both bots rocket out to meet one another head-on, with Speed Bison's central fork sneaking just under Powerdrive's blade, throwing sparks as it gets nudged back up onto two wheels. With some wheelspin, Speed Bison muscles it back into the wall, slamming it hard and tossing it aside. Powerdrive's able to land on its wheels, already spinning at full pelt, as the bots clash head to head once more. This time, Powerdrive's blade makes contact with the bulky central spine of Speed Bison's fork attachment, throwing off yet more sparks, as Speed Bison smashes them into the wall, Powerdrive bouncing dangerously close to the wall drums. A swift shove from Speed Bison gets it into the drums, yeeting Powerdrive skyward, its rear right wheel bent up at an awkward angle.

Hobbling back into the fight, Powerdrive actually manages to sneak a good shot in on Speed Bison, catching Frog off guard as his bot gets popped up and over, bouncing off the edge of the OotA zone. Powerdrive doesn't quite manage to get a chain going, however, Speed Bison managing to get on its wheels and mostly deflect Powerdrive's next attack with the edge of its forks, resulting in plenty of sparks but no momentum. Frog's quick to get back on the offensive, shoving Powerdrive back, causing its battered wheel to shed its tread, bumping them back into the spike strip. However, as Speed Bison guns it, Powerdrive is able to slip out of the side of the wedge. TBR doesn't hesitate, quickly spinning in place and landing a direct shot on one of Speed Bison's front wheels, bouncing it and its partner on the other side up, but not quite breaking anything. Powerdrive keeps up its push, getting clean under Speed Bison, throwing more sparks off of its undercarriage as it slams it side-on into the strip. Speed Bison manages to tear itself free, both of its right wheels showing the internal foam as it escapes to a neutral position, ready for one more tussle.
The two bots rush eachother again, colliding head-on, not dissimilar to the first of this fight, Speed Bison once again winning out. Unfortunately, the one difference about this charge was the angle, the rear of TBR's machine going straight into the drums once more, ripping off the back panel and tossing both motors for its rear drive free. Powerdrive's able to maintain movement for long enough to spar with Speed Bison for a mite longer, before a plume of battery smoke caps off this brawl.

Your winner, by KO in 2:32, is Speed Bison!

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Both wedges come out of the gate and rush each other. Crazy stuff, right? Both of these guys have literally 1:1 drivetrains and wedge setups, so it's really a matter of whose wedgelets are able to sneak past the other guy's and hit the chassis. HFL does this "ooh start to the side a little that'll show him" stuff, but it doesn't matter because XP just drifts mid-charge to collide head-on anyway. Defenstrator's wedgelets fit through it's opponent's array and slide under. The clamp tries to avoid the flipper, but no dice. It closes right on top of it and faces resistance when Boto starts mashing the "fire flipper" button on his controller. It works just enough for him to hook outta there.

There's some more tussling about with the two bots going back and forth, but then XP finally gets the slip and pops Defenstrator across the arena and into the drums. That's.... 5 damage. Yeesh. Yeah, Defenstator's torn a structurally superfluous behind and proceeds to only get further beat up from there until the ref finally gives it a mercy 10 count. Flat damage hazards were a mistake.

Accolades
Official participant in ARCcon Europe
ROBOT 2 FW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 MW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 HW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 Most Trophies (Runner-up)
Official voter in OSCARC 2018
Best Meme 2018 (Mimi-Chan)
Trophies
ICEcrown Champion (Steelhead)
CBC3 SHW Runner-Up (Hartmann's Youkai Bot II)
CBC4 LW Runner-Up (Scrapper)
ROBOT4 Sportsman Runner-Up (Split Personality)
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Trihunter
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ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Round One, Part 1

Post by Trihunter » Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:12 pm

Round One
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Hello hello hello Alex of the Ice Cubes has decided to disappear off the face of the earth, so welcome to your second fight with an ungulate host. This one starts out about how you’d expect, with the two guys with massive weapons being passive-ass sons of bitches. Tomatoes are thrown, the crowd of cardboard cutouts and stuffed animals is booing up a storm, and I’m considering dropping a vat of oatmeal on the two drivers. Eventually the two drivers realize they’re not allowed to just sign a détente, and emerge from their respective hidey holes to face each other head on.

From that point onwards it goes about how you’d expect.

Your winner, by KO in 1:11, is Scrapper!

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Lowering the drum's damage to 12 works fine enough when it's two regular 8-10 armor bots. Not so much when there's 4 total armor between them.

The three bots meet near-ish the center of the arena, and things look bad for TBS before it quickly decides on focus-firing at one half of the minibot. It scoops the little blue box up, shoves it to the wall, and... uh...
The damage that a robot does by virtue of sheer impact force is equal to the midway point between its speed and either traction or torque (whichever is higher)
Does ten damage to it. Yeah, that thing's dead immediately. It's persumably plastic armor crunches, wheels come off, magic smoke pours out, all that fun stuff (moreso for the party dealing the damage rather than receiving it). No drum needed. The second one plays things a little more cautiously after seeing it's counterpart get instagibbed, but it's only able to dodge for so long before TBS gets the slip and smashes it into either the wall or the drum, whichever one suits your fancy more.

The Big Spook wins by KO in 0:57.

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We begin the countdown, and Skoll is facing backwards. Good start. The match actually kicks off with Skoll getting powered up and camping the inside wall, whilst Black Diamond approaches. BD goes for the aggressive (but strategic) approach of a rushdown, but Skoll counters with the strategic (but aggressive) approach of juking them, carving a nasty gash in the edge of BD's blade as the two are launched apart. Skoll's back up to speed as BD approaches neutrally before HFL can get Skoll back to the wall, resulting in another similar clash, spreading that crack across BD's front just that little bit more. BD's trying its damnedest to get Skoll pinned down, but HFL's able to feint away enough to come out on top in each clash. On another such clash, HFL gets lucky, managing to perfectly smash into one of BD's wheels, tossing tyre chunks across the floor. Left hobbling, it's not too much effort for Skoll to keep away enough to rev up to full power and deliver a knockout blow.

Your winner, by KO in 1:41, is Skoll!

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Oh god it’s a ditto. At least they aren’t giving comically precise instruction on how exactly they’re going to angle in to avoid the other one’s angling in plans and oh god if I don’t catch all of them they’ll yell at me for being a bad writer.

So yeah shit gets underway and stuff. Robots do robot things, eventually precision engine gets underneath, but LC’s able to squirrel away eventually, though his ass is awfully close to the drums. PE overextends to try and maintain his control on LC, and ends up really exposing his side to the TBR bot. TBR’s able to get Lethal carriageway well underneath PE and get a grab on him, and we get some fancy parading! A proper good old fashion lift and slam! AND a trip to the drums. they do minimal damage, moreso holding PE there for a while than anything else. Eventually Super’s able to get down and, after a bit more running away, establish neutral. This time he gets under and also gets to establish a nice grab. LC still has a wheel or two on the ground, and super finds it a lot harder to get a lift off because of the point of rotation of his lifter being so much further forwards, but he still gets in a decent wall slam and pin before having to let go.
It’s a running battle from here, with PE having the clear advantage, as he again and again gets under in passing, TBR barely able to keep his opponent from getting even more value. Eventually TBR gets cornered and bamboozled by an angling trick, and PE gets under good and proper. Once again LC’s able to keep a wheel on the ground, and that’s his saving grace: he’s just enough of a menace to make repeatedly slamming him into the wall a more appealing prospect than trying to escort him to the drums.
PE releases LC, and the bot just kinda… sits there. Super looks visibly confused in his control booth, and he moves to get under again – and that’s when TBR strikes, darting at his opponent and getting deep under the side of PE. He’s once again able to get far enough under his opponent to get full control, and it’s off to the drums once more – and this time there’s some damage, PE losing a tire a few seconds before the clock ticks down.

Aggression: 3-2 Precision Engine
Damage: 4-1 Lethal Carriageway
Control: 3-2 Lethal Carriageway
Your winner, in a 9-6 decision, is Lethal Carriageway!

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Your winner, by KO in 0:69, is OTSC! (forfeit)

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The dodecahedron’s locked, the lights are on, etc. etc. Project Snafu’s a bit late with the spinup, that’s very dangerous against a fast, agile bot like Swordfish 3, but Swordfish isn’t going straight in for the box rush. It’s circle-strafing, not that there’s much to circle-strafe to on Project Snafu, since the blade goes all the way around. Swordfish has to engage it at some point. It seems like they’re trying to get to the back, but even when strafing they’ve got to cover a much greater distance than PS needs to cover to just turn, so they’ve got their work cut out for them. Oh, but Project Snafu’s looking a little wobbly! It’s tipping back and forth a bit as it maneuvers. The gyroscopic effect on that angled blade could be a problem!

Project Snafu mentioned this in the pits, though: the new chassis is 4WD and, it’s sort of like TABOR with a spinner where behind the skirts the actual body has higher ground clearance than it looks like, so they said it should cope with gyro-ing better than previous versions. Swordfish is really making it work hard though, and an abrupt turn finally pops it forward and almost makes the bar hit the floor. And that’s the opening Jack was looking for, he guns it in there and slides under! And now Snafu’s bar is just barely too high in the back to actually hit Swordfish. I’m not sure if it has the ground clearance to get free, but it doesn’t matter because Swordfish flips it!
Snafu wobbles dangerously in the air, but doesn’t go over. It does bounce down at an angle, and Swordfish comes in again, but the bar finally clips the floor and sends it twirling away. It strikes the wall, and loses most of its energy, leaving it scrambling to avoid its faster opponent. Uh oh, Swordfish runs afoul of the skirts, though! It was just feeling Snafu out and manages to avoid the blade, but it has to back off, and that buys Snafu enough time where Swordfish has to start going for its back again. There’s more circle-strafing… oh, no, but a last-second turn by Snafu leaves Swordfish darting underneath the side, and the blade isn’t quite high enough! Its left plow is caught near the top, and a massive hit shears it clean off the robot!

Both robots are sent sailing across the box! Swordfish gets a faceful of the wall drums, but its sloped front weathers that attack at least. Snafu hits the spike strip, and hard. The blade’s stopped – now it’s spinning back up but Swordfish goes for broke and just rams it with the surviving plow before it can get to dangerous speed. It bounces away, spins back up to scary rpm again, but again Swordfish manages to get it to gyrodance, slides under the back, and flips.

And we’ve got a mauler… or a Moros really! Snafu flips out in midair, tumbling like a coin, and ends up on its back. Can it self-right? I have no idea… ooh, it’s thrashing violently around! Most overheads are pretty symmetrical so they can spin the chassis pretty smoothly, but Snafu’s so much taller in the back that it throws off the weight distribution, and it’s behaving like a spinner when the blade breaks in half. It comes close to going over but the conical shape makes that really tricky, it keeps falling back – the circular shape is letting it roll around the arena pretty fast, though.
Swordfish doesn’t seem sure what to do with it now. It will get counted out eventually, because that’s not controlled translation, but if it makes it back up the flipperbot’s in danger with its wedge damaged. There’s no way of lining up an OOTA against something that’s thrashing around like this. Going for the drums is risky, that could right him, but it is what Swordfish goes for. And we have a skirt panel torn off, but SNAFU has bounced away. Ref’s asking for motion…

Welp. Just not able to get back up in time. And that’s the end of that I guess.

Your winner, by knockout in 1:41, is Swordfish 3!

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Jackal starts by doing jack shit and just tries to push 666 around while getting flipped for a while. Fast forwards a minute or so Jackal flips Triple Six somehow.
Some fooling around and Triple Six fires the flipper and continues its infamous OOTA record, in other words it fell into Alex's trap and OOTAed itself lmao.
Your winner, by KO in 1:12, is Jackal! (forfeit)

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> mfw both rps are a wall of text
The Act of Being Polite starts the fight by spinning up and getting really close to the OOTA warp pipe in the center of the arena while it's famously aggressive yet strategic opponent goes for more of a unsurprising box rush. The undercutter does ride up the wedge quite nicely and while Ethan is trying to maneuver on top of Dreadnought it looks like it fired the flipper and then The bar hit its side in mid air and both bots got thrown quite far away, The landing as undercutter and no real damage seems to be present on Dreadnought MK4.
Alex is quick to rush in again, Act rides up the wedge again, after draining the spinner out of momentum, the flipper is activated and the bot with a proper weapon anticlimactically flops over on its back, it still can drive tho. Ethan is quick to turn around before the follow up does much and Of lands a hit on Dreadnought's side that makes a pretty sizeable hole on the armor and both bots bounce off, buying him time to spin up again a little more.
That extra spin up time comes in handy for basically nothing as Alex makes a good job at making the spinner scrape the flipper panel instead of receiving another big hit. And now Dreadnought starts pushing Being around the entire arena for a while, Alex is wise enough to not fire the flipper again to not have to deal with the undercutter.
At some point somehow Polite hits the top panel of the brit flipper and bounces off all over the arena, landing undercutter. Alex rushes in but is found in Ethan's carefully orchestrated trap and totally not some divine luck. Dreadnought gets hit and recoils into the closest drum hazard, which yeets it far away and deals surprisingly little damage.
More random bullshit later Alex does the flop-opponent-on-its-back-thing again and is pushes TAOBP around for a long while with varying levels of dominance.
It's all a painful boring slog fun and games until Alex rams Politebot 5000's back into the same drum from earlier.
The main advantage of having a compact chasis design is that when you take a good hit it's guaranteed to land in a component like a motor, ESC or, in this case, a battery.

Your winner, by knockout in 2:39, is Dreadnought MK4!

Accolades
Official participant in ARCcon Europe
ROBOT 2 FW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 MW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 HW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 Most Trophies (Runner-up)
Official voter in OSCARC 2018
Best Meme 2018 (Mimi-Chan)
Trophies
ICEcrown Champion (Steelhead)
CBC3 SHW Runner-Up (Hartmann's Youkai Bot II)
CBC4 LW Runner-Up (Scrapper)
ROBOT4 Sportsman Runner-Up (Split Personality)
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Trihunter
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ARC: The Dirty Dozen - Round One, Part 2

Post by Trihunter » Mon Nov 02, 2020 12:35 pm

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Both bots set to work approaching one another, clashing closer to ISAN's square, the pink bot bringing its blade over the top as Speed Bison barges it into the wall, resulting in a dual collision. ISAN manages to get spun away, only to be once again broadsided by Speed Bison, rolled and slammed into the wall drum, blowing a couple of chunks out of the bot. This pattern basically repeats for a while, ISAN getting a couple of hits in whilst being slammed and jammed into the drums. Eventually, though, ISAN's able to get a solid hit in, blowing the top armour of Speed Bison apart. Unfortunately, on the same visit to the drums, ISAN manages to blow a track, increasing its drive disadvantage even more. As it struggles to shed the last of the track, SB manages to flank once more, and this time the drum manages to dislodge a track more important than the drive ones: the weapon chain. Left weaponless, Maxi's barely able to play defensively enough to take it to a JD, though it doesn't look hopeful for them.

Damage: 3-2 Speed Bison
Control: 5-0 Speed Bison
Aggression: 4-1 Speed Bison

Your winner, by a 12-3 decision, is Speed Bison!

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In the Red Square; don’t say what big teeth this bot has, ‘cause they’ll gladly use them to turn you you into Little Dead Riding Hood! A real grim fairy tale with an unhappy bloody ending, it’s the wily wolven warrior known only as… HATI!

In the Blue Square; you’d have to be Possessed and on the Edge Of Sanity to Deicide to fight this Behemoth to the Death. They’ll turn you to Gorguts, perform your Autopsy, and then write your Obituary after you’ve become a Carcass! Here this November with intent to Dismember, it’s ARC’s very own Morbid Angel… DEATH METAL!

On the sound of the horn, Hati zips out of the square with death in its eyes – heralded with light smoke and a loud screech from its tyres as it peels away in a burst of speed – while Death Metal moves out more tentatively; the bar quickly reaching top speed with its air raid siren-like death hum as it looks to draw fresh blood. The two approach tentatively, Death Metal keeping its distance away from the walls, and Hati circling round toward the back end of Death Metal. Hati charges, Death Metal swings around to the side… and Hati stops, letting Death Metal’s blade sail past it. Hati immediately takes advantage and rams into the exposed side, immediately making a beeline with its opponent to the nearby wall, slamming Death Metal bar-first into the wall.
Death Metal skitters away, leaving several gashes on the floor and wall in its wake (we’re sending Danielle the bill in the morning. :v – The Writers). Hati turns to catch it as it lands but makes the mistake of driving underneath too quickly; causing Death Metal’s still-spinning bar to clip the top edge of the scoop and put a sizeable dent in it. Hati’s more-or-less okay due to mostly superficial damage though, so it captures Death Metal as it lands, before quickly forcing it into the nearby drum, carving a gouge into the back end and flinging it away. Death Metal lands back on its wheels and immediately begins spinning up again, putting some distance between itself and its opponent. Hati approaches again to go in with the juke; but this time, Death Metal’s ready for it. It doesn’t take the bait, and this time reverses toward it as Hati does, then swings the fully spun-up bar right into the side as it stops… KERAAAAAAAASH! The blow sends Hati reeling away with a big gash in the corner scoop, giving Death Metal time to clip it once more before it escapes.

The back-and-forth skirmish between the two continues for most of the battle, and by the time the last 30 seconds approach, both bots are limping from all the attacks adding up. Hati’s front scoop is badly buckled around the edges (with a couple of huge gashes in the front) and it’s missing a chunk off the left tyre from Death Metal’s bar clipping it; the rear end of Death Metal has a panel partially gouged away at the back where the drums have hit it, and both bots seem to be moving more slowly. Hati gets a few more rams in (and some attempts to get it back to the drums, which Death Metal dodges and capitalises on by clipping the wounded areas with the bar) before the time goes, but neither are able to truly finish the other off. It’s up to the judges to decide!
JUDGES DECISION
Aggression: 3-2 (Hati)
Damage: 4-1 (Death Metal)
Strategy: 3-2 (Hati)

Death Metal wins on a 8-7 Split Decision.

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Both bots get moving quickly, colliding, both bots delivering solid hits on one another, one of Bobtoady's eyes going flying. Fork Bomb keeps control, slamming strike after strike into Bobtoady's top, before it suddenly pivots... aaaaaand Fork Bomb's just a wedge now. Uh oh. Fork Bomb's still able to keep up pressure though, throwing Bobtoady into the drums and pressuring for a flank, but Bobtoady manages to get another direct hit in before Hii can pull it off, killing the bot dead.

Bobtoady wins by KO in 0:59.

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mk tanto has like forks or a flat wedge dude that doesn't count as configs that need declaration. anywho match starts and wedge things happen. tanto ends up under, manhandles PETA for a bit. I feel like there's a joke I could make here but I have 4 brain cells so not gonna happen. anywho no drum magic just plastering into walls. release, neutral, reengage. bit of a longer fight this time, petaflare gets a few passing wedgings as tanto misses angles and wheelies once, but the faster 2wd wedge escapes before tri can really react. eventually Tanto gets under again, and this time there IS some drum magic.

now, technically speaking the drums do checks notes a fuckload of damage to petaflare. I fundamentally disagree with this but hey let's knock off a wheel or something it's all in good fun right? this makes peta's job twice as hard as it used to be, but there's still 3 left under there and it's not like it had that much ground clearance to begin with so it didnt really make the wedge any wonkier. it's also really not making peta any worse at what it was doing for the entire match.

unfortunately most of what peta is doing is delaying the inevitable buy fending off tanto without really getting a chance to counter-aggress, as it once again ends up wedged and then smashed into some walls. and up on a drum. I'm listening to waltz of the flowers right now btw and it feels very fitting as a theme to this fight, if you wanted some music to accompany this match that's been a bit of a curbstomp so far.

no damage from the drums this time because I'm done having hazards that kill reasonably armored bots for no reason but petaflare does end up upside down so it gets bullied some more. we do eventually see tri regain neutral though, and eventually, finally, baits tanto into a horrible mistake.
said horrible mistake is tanto getting far too close to a wall, letting peta lurch its way into cornering the bot, getting a perfect crush in on one of the wheels. look at that thing buckle. look at that thing veeeery slowly squish down into a long oval. look at that bot unable to move, just as time expires in the fight.

aggression: 5-0 ICBiNT
damage: 3-2 Petaflare
control: 4-1 ICBiNT

your winner, in an 11-4 decision, is I can't believe it's not tanto!

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this is one of those knock out drag down fights that has big, explosive hits; some sick flips with mad gyro effects, impressive evasion, surprising aggression, and incredible tenacity out of the spinner. it has a flipper that uses its weapon judiciously, managing to avoid serious weapon damage until late on in the fight - and when he loses the weapon, he loses it feeding chem x to one of the drums, trading his weapon for a track tread.

the fight stops being so explosive in the last minute thanks to that, mostly becoming a lot of wall pins accompanied by the sound of a blade grinding on metal, just barely kept from getting a good bite on something.

Aggression: 3-2 PneumatiX
Damage: 3-2 Pneumatix
Control: 3-2 Chem X

Your winner, on an 8-7 judge's decision, is Xtreme PneumatiX!

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we have hit that point where I just have to shit out a bad result in order to force myself into writing again so HERE WE GO BOIS.

oh dear lord it's actually just a spinner mirror at least this can be quick then. they both approach. they both fly away. repeat 5 times. crowd loves it, writers hate it, the usual schebang. HYB breaks first, I think because whirlpool was getting better contact on its hits with the less teeth thing. turns out big bite is in fact useful in these sorts of fights.

Your winner, by KO in 1:11, is Whirlpool!

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Okay so right off the bat Listen Here Granddad, This is America. Everyone Here Eats Ass is banking a ton on it's "High Torque" of exactly 2 (note the omnis), catching the driver by surprise when it doesn't immediately rev up to top speed as expected. Not a good look when your win condition is to drumfuck the other guy before he's able to whittle your defenses away.

On the other hand, Chronic Jobber does the Tombstone thing in such a completely predictable and telegraphed fashion that, honestly? I'd be kind of offended if I were Archangel. In any case, we see LHG,TiAEHEA (or "assbot" in legal terms) get an early rush despite what I said about it's relatively low torque. Into the drum aaand 5 damage lol bye bye rear wedge. Game balance is my passion. Let's see if it gets another hit on the wheels for the W.

...1 minute later and we see assbot's front wedges starting to come loose. Repeated hits are certainly something, huh? CJ ricochets with each hit, but assbot also keeps doing so juuust enough to make pinning difficult. Jobber eventually does end up getting a wheel snipped by the drum, but only on account of it self-flinging.

Exhaustingly long name wins by """knockout""" in 1:47.

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This is a real edge of your seat fight, folks. We have two very good flippers here: the American-Style Icebreaker, against the Brit-Style Thieving Magpie. One of these machines is going out in the first round, we’ll find out who in 3… 2… 1… FIGHT!

Icebreaker’s first out of the gate, and coming in quite aggressively, Thieving Magpie’s kind of dodging around, playing rope-a-dope I think. Icebreaker gets under its side but only with the side forks, not the flipper, and TMP gets away. There’s some more incidental wedging from TMP, but no action from the flipper. TMP backs off, closer to the spike strip, Icebreaker comes in…

Uh oh! And TMP gets under it, sliding all the way under the chassis! Icebreaker fires its flipper, but doesn’t get free, it’s accidentally lined itself up almost perfectly for a run at the central pit- and there it goes! It’s over in a single patient, well-timed stroke of Thieving Magpie’s flipper! Well, so much for that, but I guess it was a nail biting thirty seconds or so!

Your winner, by OOTA in 0:31, is The Thieving Magpie!

Accolades
Official participant in ARCcon Europe
ROBOT 2 FW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 MW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 HW Shitbot Showdown winner
ROBOT 2 Most Trophies (Runner-up)
Official voter in OSCARC 2018
Best Meme 2018 (Mimi-Chan)
Trophies
ICEcrown Champion (Steelhead)
CBC3 SHW Runner-Up (Hartmann's Youkai Bot II)
CBC4 LW Runner-Up (Scrapper)
ROBOT4 Sportsman Runner-Up (Split Personality)
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