Machina Non Grata vs Fork the Wind
Pat opens the match by driving forwards at full tilt and angels in on the forks, and it works. Machina non grata does a weird sideways spin in the air as it gets flipped, then FtW starts chaining the thing for a while actually. Several flips later manages to get enough time to recover control on the situation and we kinda restart.
Several angular maneuvers later McCheese Grater manages to get its own forks under and lands a smooth flip and the now flipped FtW hits the floor with the spinner and starts bouncing all over the arena. Super tries to follow the thing to get a few more flips but the thing is too erratic to follow so not much happens. Eventually the spinner runs out of momentum and the entire bot stops, staying flipped, kinda dead tbh.
Machina Non Grata wins by KO in 1:02
Darwinian Predator vs I Can't Believe it's not Tanto
Wedge fight is wedge fight. Predator gets under first and bites down on the compact wedge. It carries it around for awhile and eventually has to let go. But this time the pure wedge escapes and gets under the predator. Wall bashing time. Good times. Predator tries to make Tanto oversteer, but it is not significant enough for him to get under 4 of the 5 times he tries it. Tanto is then greeted by more wallface. Very back and forth matchup that ends rather uneventfully
Aggression: 3-2 DPGII
Damage: 3-2 Not Tanto
Control: 3-2 Not Tanto
ICBIN Tanto wind 8-7
Killjoy vs Cyan Printer Ink
The match kicks off with Killjoy box rushing, scooping up Cyan as it's still spinning up, crushes down... And promptly has the tooth of its grabber ripped clean off. It would seem Maxi's considered this opportunity when deciding to start upside down this match. Killjoy aggressively gums its opponent for a bit, before dumping it in the wall, giving them a moment to get free and spin up for a more traditional spinner vs wedge brawl. Cyan soon rides up the crusher's wedge, bouncing up the wedge and tilting the spinner down to neatly avoid Killjoy's neckbrace and whack dangerously close to the spinner hinge, as Killjoy grapples and tries to pin down Cyan. Since the arm's in such an odd position, combined with the lack of a tooth, this results in Killjoy blowing more chunks out of itself as it stops the spinner, clamped deep in its squishy bits.
With some finagling, the bots separate for some more approaches on one another. Killjoy does seem to win out on most collisions, but Cyan's still making its mark on Killjoy's wedge and neck brace with each one, soon buckling the former and eventually bending the latter back to the point of uselessness. In what looks to be the final collision of the match, Cyan rides the wedge, slipping all the way up, and delivers a hefty blow to Killjoy's crusher mount, shattering it! Killjoy's grabbing arm hangs limp and askew as the buzzer sounds, Cyan only having the time to slip itself free from its opponent, spinning down without much as a scratch on it.
Damage: 5-0 Cyan Printer Ink
Control: 4-1 Killjoy
Aggression: 3-2 Killjoy
Your winner, by an 8-7 decision, is Cyan Printer Ink!
Black Salvo vs Bone Hurting Juice
Oh hey look its brick vs spinner and the brick just box rushed. Are we surprised? No. did it work? Yes, and pressure’s put on BHJ for the first 20 seconds or so of the match before he finally squirrels free for long enough to finally get up to full speed instead of the 2/3 speed tombstone dance extravaganza that was the case until now.
BHJ tries some sort of juking maneuver. I think. They hit head-on and it’s one hell of a meaty hit as both bots go flying. As we recover looks like the front left wheel of BS didn’t appreciate that encounter. Slipped chain? Slightly deformed chassis? IDK I don’t actually build shit that’s what my team of Chinese wage slaves is for.
I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud was I. anyway there’s a reengage and BHJ goes for the head-on approach this time, and somehow is rewarded far less for doing the exact same thing. I guess BS angled into the hit better. Regardless it’s still a few impacts before the blade gets slowed, and that plow is definitely worse for wear, but BHJ is stifled for the time being up against a wall, and we all get to sit here and watch as the spinner feebly tries to escape the pin for 20 seconds or whatever the pin timer is these days I don’t really know tbh and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.
Eventually BHJ gets freeeeedom and runs away for a bit, giving BS a whole lotta ass as he slowly gets space to get back up to speed. This time we see BHJ’s juke actually work, as BS’s wheel seizes up again at a most inopportune time. This time BHJ’s able to hook around behind the plow and tear it off of at least half its mountings. BS might not look pretty after that, but it’s still working, and Dylan manages to corral the deathspinner again fairly handily as the match runs down.
Aggression: 4-1 Black Salvo
Damage: 5-0 Bone Hurting Juice
Control: 4-1 Black Salvo
Your winner, in an 8-7 split decision, is Black Salvo
Double Rainbow vs Dystopian Avenger
Both bots get rolling quickly, DR spinning up both bars, and DA just rushing the bot down. The ensuing impact spins both bots away, Noah not quite recovering enough to get a snipe in with the second blade, before they're back brawling again, this time DA managing to stop the spun-down blade, lifting up the rainbow bot until its other blade hits the floor, pinging it across the ring. DA's third attempt results in more scratches, but does let it get all the way under, lifting and rolling its opponent over, bulldozing it into the spinner. The floor spinner, mind you, DR isn't quite that fucked yet. Anyway, DR makes some angry hornet noises as its blades try to spin up on a spinning surface, struggling to maintain enough momentum to stay out of the hole for long, and DA doesn't make it any easier, being ready to catch out and re-dump DR each time it gets a wheel free. Eventually, however, DR does manage to spin free, getting up to speed, for another hefty collision, just before the final buzzer ends the match. Let's see what the teams scored.
Aggression: 3-2 Dystopic Avenger
Damage: 4-1 Double Rainbow
Control: 4-1 Dystopic Avenger
Your winner, by an 8-7 decision, is Dystopian Avenger!
Made in Heaven vs Flameout
The match starts with the successor to Hellmouth getting its back close to the wall, while the JJBA bot box rushes, then strafes to flank Flameout. However, with Flameout being close to the wall, it limits MIH's movement, so Flameout is able to try pointing itself, but MIH quickly backs off and resets. The second time, it is able to flank Flameout, quickly ramming and pinning it to the wall. When the timer runs out, Flameout tries to reposition itself, but MIH is waiting and quickly gets control again in a different approach, angling in on the forks successfully and lifting the bot up on the wedge, protecting MIH from the flamethrower. Flameout tries to squirm out, but MIH quickly drops it to the hazard, spinning it around. When Flameout is freed from it, MIH quickly gets control again.
The whole match soon goes more or less like this. MIH keeps getting control on Flameout with its speed, ramming, pinning, or dropping it on the hazard. MIH also changes its approach every time to make it unpredictable for Flameout. However, Flameout is sometimes able to keep up by wedging MIH a bit and flaming it, though MIH can quickly back off and get back to control before real damage is done. MIH also occasionally oversteers and opens itself to flanking, but it recovers quickly from that. Eventually as the match near its end with 20 seconds left, MIH is near the wall when it oversteer trying to control Flameout. Flameout takes this opportunity to pin MIH, but MIH escapes few seconds after being burned. MIH then tries to control Flameout again and manages t wedge it when the time runs out. As it does, the motors start smoking.
Damage: 3-2 Flameout
Control: 4-1 Made in Heaven
Strategy: 4-1 Made in Heaven
Winner: Made in Heaven by 10-5 Judge's Decision
Featherweight Sportsman //
2A vs Duck Stab!
The match starts, and 2A immediately begins blasting as Duck Stab approaches, 2A clearly aiming for one of Duck Stab's wheels, shots plinking off the arena with a clack, clack, BLAM- And one of the spokes of DS' wheels is deleted from existence. Duck Stab, having completely lost structural integrity, topples and smacks its blade on the floor, giving 2A plenty of time to readjust and plant a few more shots on the chassis itself to ensure a complete death.
2A wins by KO in 0:34.
Lift Device vs Storm Worm
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY LIFT DEVICE. no like actually it's doing well in this fight, starting out strong forcing storm worm on to the back foot after an aggressive early rush goes poorly for him. storm worm wins the next microengagment, and what follows is a 20 second game of cat and mouse, controbot style. Lift Device has the speed and control. which is letting it back off more successfully from Storm worm, as drew tries again and again to take space so he can snowball with is flipper. eventually SW does do a fucky-wucky with the driving and ift device barrels on through. doesn't get that much done thing, Storm worm is nothing if not equipped with billions of moving parts.
another one of those longass times with no clear winner occurs - lift device's patience is interesting with the speed advantage he's shown himself to have by this point - and it's kind of like when a dude with a sword fights someone with a spear. he's out-reached by storm worm and looking for a mistake - or an error on the part of the machine again. storm worm is looking for these too, and does punish, but LD's able to zip back/j-hook pretty cleanly most of the time (though he did eat a risky pop of the flipper just now), and eventually fond that mistake. this time it's a decent pinball, and storm worm spends some time flailing around on the ramp before he gets free.
guess what. neutral. that's where these bots live. these bots thrive - and where drew has finally had enough time to figure out billy's game and pull some mad reads on him. he manages to catch billy off guard, getting just enough of a fork underneath to get most of LD's wheels off of the ground, then predicting the direction he tries to move to get free and getting in a quick flip. he's able to drag this out for most of the rest of the match, using his lifter forks to keep LD from getting back up right for a bit, then continuing to chase it around the arena, cornering LD at the bell.
Aggression: 3-2 Storm Worm
Damage: 3-2 Lift Device
Control: 3-2 Lift Device
Your winner, in a split decision, is Lift Device!
crouton.net vs Stealth Cobra
HIGHLIGTED: crouton.net snowballed early game, but was not able to amount significant damage in the early fight, and that allowed stealth cobra to eventually start figuring out his patterns of attack, and eventually get a significant flip snowball into the end of the fight.
Aggression: 3-2 crouton.net
Damage: 3-2 crouton.net
Control: 3-2 Stealth Cobra
Your winner, in an 8-7 Decision, is crouton.net!
Ori vs King Dedede
Ori wins by FF in 0:00
Multiply and Surrender vs ACME Chomper Bot
oh no bbygirl what are you doing?If I manage to get under the side of M&S quickly close the clamping weapon enough to cease one of the tank threads to stop moving when clamped
Multiply and Surrender gets under for the first few exchanges, before ACME Chomper Bot manages to slip under and get that clamp.
...ACME is then promptly shoved into the wall by M&S. He has 7 torque and your wedge barely removes any of his tracks off the ground, what did you think was gonna happen? It takes ACME a good 2 or 3 more ass-slam to the arena walls before TBR realizes "hm. perhaps this is not working out" and settles for just lifting M&S whenever it gets under.
That said, wasting a solid 1:00+ on a bad strat isn't gonna be a good look for the judges. It also still has some difficulties actually keeping M&S on the lifter and not having it just back off, but it's better than whatever was happening earlier.
Both bots manage to get each other on the spinner at least once in the match, with M&S receiving exactly 1 damage from it while ACME suffers none whatsoever. I know Gabe doesn't want strategies entirely hinging on zany CBC-style hazards, but this is a bit much innit?
Aaand lastly, M&S almost incurs Repeated Hits[tm] damage via repeatedly bumping ACME into the wall, but not quite. Close though!
AGG: 4-1 Multiply and Surrender
DMG: 3-2 ACME Chomper Bot
CTL: 4-1 Multiply and Surrender
Multiply and Surrender wins by a 10-5 judge's decision.
Do Not Touch! vs Dardanera
Spinning weapon one and spinning weapon two do the thing they do best. Billy is really betting all the marbles on getting DNT to oversteer greatly. It does it's best to rush forward and takes a snack from the bar. Both get knocked back and while DNT looks a bit shaken from the impact, wheels don't look to be on the menu tonight. Another few good hits, one of them sending DNT upwards, but not quite on their back. The wedge is starting to show some wear. Another exchange and DNT gets flipped over. However it's bar has also slowed and another hit from Dardanera sends it close to a wall. However, it is able to bounce away via the spinner and almost get back up to speed. We see the discs taking another pop at DNT and a fork comes off of Dardanera. DNT reverses and tries to get a better position, but the vert will not let him. The wedge is looks all kind of beat up at this point, but the spinner is still running. The buzzer signals that the match has ended
Aggression: 3-2 Dardanera
Damage: 4-1 Do Not Touch
Strategy: 5-0 Dardanera
Dardanera wins 9-6
Rooster Teeth vs Avanti!
The match starts, and Avanti punches it toward Rooster Teeth. Meanwhile Rooster Teeth’s operator is... a fish of some sort? How did he get there? I don’t know what kind it is (maybe Avanti’s driver does), but it appears to be driving well as Rooster Teeth narrowly avoids the box rush! Unfortunately, The weapon doesn’t seem to be spinning as fast as it should, and Avanti quickly gets under anyway, taking only a glancing blow from the weapon. Avanti slams Rooster Teeth into the wall, and a puff of smoke comes out from under the shell. More smoke comes as Rooster Teeth is pushed into the arena hazard 30 seconds in. and Rooster Teeth has stopped moving! I’ve never seen a fish so panicked in my life! Rooster Teeth is counted out, and Avanti has claimed victory!
Avanti! wins by FF in 0:51!
Spectrals vs Apeirogon II
Now we have a match between a new cluster speedwedge against a CBC4 quarterfinallist, returning in an upgraded form. Before the match starts, it should be clarified that Spectrals wedges are hinged, but in 360 degrees. Spectrals start by rushing the front of Apeirogon at an angle. Both bots soon get under and start pushing the VS into the wall, pinning it. However, Apeirogon fires its arm to free itself and manages to get some distance before being controlled again. However Spectrals go for different driving style each time. Apeirogon also responds by various tactics however to confuse both bots in turn, like pretending to be distracted with one bot. It also keeps escaping by firing its arm.
The match keeps going like this when around the halfway mark, Apeirogon is able to get enough room to fight. It finally manages to angle under one of the cluster's wedges, then immediately smacks its arm with VS on before the cluster can escape quickly, obliterating most of the bot. Once this happens, the fight becomes easier. Apeirogon focuses on the remaining bot, aggressively chasing it, though even with less weight, the other unit of Spectrals is sometimes able to push Apeirogon a bit and pin it at one point. The match soon ends when Apeirogon gets a hit on the other cluster at just 1 seconds left, wrecking that too.
Damage: 5-0 Apeirogon II
Control: 3-2 Spectrals
Agression: 3-2 Spectrals
Winner: Apeirogon II by 9-6 Judge's Decision
This Side down vs !#%$?
TSD chugs toward the other end of the arena at a surprising pace- seems like it's gotten faster since last we saw it! Punctuation scutters off and begins spinning it's weapon.
mm yes... is that... is that rotary engine fuel my dear??
mmmm how pungent :)) quite stinky indeed!
Black-red wedge is unphased by the odorous semi-sphere as it slides under with ease and shoves !#%$? into a wall. It bounces off, landing in position for another ram. TSD obliges. Heated Gamer Moment lands even closer to the wall. You'll never guess what happens next.
This continues for a while, with TSD successfully pinning !#%$? into a corner and holding it there for a solid 10 full seconds. Note: TSD only let go because the referee started giving Tri a nasty side-eye for the pin timer. To it's credit, Punctuation has gotten a good few hits in. Nothing major in terms of damage, but TSD's front has a few bruises in it.
Oh and I guess TSD fires the flipper at some point. It's more of a hood accessory, really.
AGG: 4-1 This Side Down
DMG: 4-1 !#%$?
CTL: 4-1 This Side Down
This Side Down wins by a 9-6 judge's decision.
Trilobite 2 vs MORE PUZZLES
IN THE REEEED SQUARE, WE HAVE THE GYROSCOPIC MONSTROSITY THAT IS M O R E P U Z Z L E S
IN THE BLUUE SQUARE WE HAVE THE SPEEDYBOY WEDGE KNOWN AS TRILOBIT- oh wait Trilobite isn't here.
Now that I recall, Rocket didn't even enter the building, let alone get to the Pit. Somehow, literally nobody has noticed until now. Oh well.
MORE PUZZLES wins by FF in 0:00
Mandatory Declaration List //
Archangel // OBEY
YSMQTHLQYH // Cyan Printer Ink // Multiply And Surrender // Apeirogon II
V900 // 2A // Skully
Badnik96 // Shock Therapy
Rinzler // Cobra King // ViberateR
Billy5545 // Darwinian Predator // Dardanera
Attackfrog // Invertical
Patrickrowberry // Spattual
Hooray For Lexan // Bone Hurting Juice // Hallucinogen
Superbomb122 // Machina Non Grata // Cross Check