Hey, ladies and gents. Nice to see you again. Well, Chicago was a pretty good time, but it was pretty windy too, lemme tell you. TBR nearly got blown off his feet, only to be rescued by Alex V, who also rescued a cat from a tree this week. Yup, he didn't even beat it up. I'd say he's well on his way to being fully reformed. Dylan visited Chicagoland Speedway, along with Super, DJ, and a few of the other good ol' American NASCAR boys. They even got to have a race. DJ dominated the straightaways, but Dylan caught him on the final turn and it was photo finish. We know who won, but we're not telling anyone. Sorry. We found Hide, not hiding in his hometown. He showed a few of the more wide-eyed people around. Laz and Josh went to see the Al Capone museum, some of the girls went shopping (but not in that super girly way, because ARC girls don't do that), and Gabe got a voucher for one of those hipster kitchen places where you cook, and made a delicious monstrosity using only vegetarian ingredients. Billy did tourist things. Maxi saw an opera for some reason, and everyone sat down for a nice big piping hot Chicago-style deep dish in the evening. Finally, as we were just about to head off, DJ staggered into an alley to puke his guts out and ran into our other resident Chicagoan, Drew, also puking his guts out. Truly a happy ending to an interesting week.
That leaves us headed to our next destination on a high note, and what a destination it is! We're off to Siberia. That's right: freakin' Siberia!
Our featherweights and lightweights will do battle in the frozen reaches of Hall of Ice and Wind, in Yakutsk, Russia. Of course, it's not all cold and misery. It's Russia! You just know that hijinks are going to happen! Also, the first of our rumbles - Brick Brawl - will take place this week at Buzludzha in Kran, Bulgaria! Please check out the rumble thread for that. Feeling lazy? Don't wanna click a bit? Hey, I didn't come up with the idea! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.
Hall Of Ice And Wind
by Floating Castle Robotics
Hall of Ice and Wind (Зал льда и ветра)
Yakutsk, Sakha Republic, Russia
40 ft x 40 ft with two large triangular cutouts - 1400 square feet
FW - MW Singles and Doubles
Snow, ice, and winter in a remote, old-fashioned outpost
This arena does not use house robots.
Hazards and Features:
- Stabbing Cold (2) - These colossal (2.5 foot), pneumatically-powered steel icicles occupy the two eastern corners of the arena in groups of sixteen. They shoot up from the floor one at a time to impale, flip, and high-center bots foolish enough to drive over them, each shot dealing moderate damage. Each icicle will fire 0.5 seconds after the last and will retract after 1 second. When all icicles under your bot have fired, they will retract and remain that way for 2 seconds before starting up again.
- Depths of Winter (2) - Located directly across from each other and creating a pinch point in between them, these roughly triangular pits have three-foot tall walls and a total depth of six feet, meaning that once the Siberian winter claims you, there is no coming back.
Achievement: Wise Retreat
- Escape the Stabbing Cold after taking only a single shot.
The Fight Card
Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, March 7, at 11:59 PM EST.
The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.
Firebird Division (A)
NRG 2 has a bye
Gabrial vs Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2
Both bots start off quickly, with Gabrial rushing in and launching a strike on Seed Killer immediately, throwing itself up in the air. Billy retaliates quickly, slamming the blade into the wheels with a mighty THOCK! It actually manages to embed in the flimsy plastic, both bots struggling for a bit, before Seed Killer manages to retract, hauling Gabrial up and over the entire bot, splitting a fat chunk off of the wheel as it lands, and nearly topples Seed Killer over in the process! As Gabrial flails, its one-and-a-half wheels insufficient to get it back upright again, Seed Killer turns and delivers the final blow, directly onto the chassis. Seed Killer backs off as a plume of Lipo smoke erupts from the fallen machine, its flailing coming to a stop.
Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2 wins by KO in 0:47.
Black Dog vs I Can't Believe it's not Tanto
ICBINT guns it at BD at the start but Laz sees this coming and pre-emptively J-hooks away using BD’s weapon gyro. BD then swings back in to feast on some tasty corners of ICBINT’s wedges, but Ethan is just a little to agile for BD to get a decent chomp - it’s more like a nibble. ICBINT backs away some from being too close to the OOTA zones in the middle of the arena before lining up another run on Black Dog. BD swings wide again, but this time, it’s a bit too much gyro and BD ends up showing his rear to ICBINT. Ethan guns it, using that 3 torque to ram BD hard into one of the Stabbing Cold hazards in the corner. BD gets stabbed by 2 icicles before being able to move off of the hazard. One looks like it penetrated BD’s chassis armor, but the bot seems unaffected. ICBINT is waiting for BD and jumps on it, but BD swings wide with a little less gyro this time and catches a corner of ICBINT and it’s drum sends ICBINT flying. It lands close but not over the OOTA wall. Ethan quickly backs away before BD can capitalize and tries to lure it back to one of the hazard squares. BD isn’t buying that and backs away towards the other end of the arena while turning and showing his wheels, as if taunting ICBINT.
Ethan shows a box-rush, but suddenly stops before BD can react. It’s already turned to swing into his corners in anticipation. ICBINT sees the opening and slips his wedges under BD and slams him into the closest wall. BD revs the drum to max power to use the gyro to free himself, but it’s stuck between ICBINT’s stoppers and the wall. ICBINT backs off and allows BD to back away some to get some space. One minute left in the match and BD ups the aggression, chasing after ICBINT and getting a few more hits to his front. The wedge tips look pretty beat up now and that’s slowing ICBINT down, but not by much. It still outmaneuvers BD a few more times, as well. Both bots are putting on a tremendous show of driving skill with a few nice weapon hits courtesy of Black Dog. Laz wants to get that OOTA in the closing seconds, but I Can’t Believe it’s not Tanto has done a stellar job at not giving him much of an opportunity in doing so. And...5, 4, 3, 2, 1...this match is over! Wow, who won that? I have no idea, myself, but that’s what the judges are for, right? I definitely do not envy them right now, that’s for sure!
Damage: 3-2 Black Dog
Aggression: 3-2 Black Dog
Control: 3-2 ICBINT
Black Dog wins by 8-7 Judges’ Decision!
Puffy Cloud vs Vindicator
Code parks Puffy Cloud in the starting square, waiting for Vindicator to come out and pl- huWOAH holy shit that thing's FLYING
. Admittedly it's only going slightly faster than it's opponent, but it gets up to that speed way faster than Puffy Cloud's able to get to it's own top speed. 32* times faster, to be exact.
After the initial spectacle of a few rams worthy of making a crash test dummy blush, that's pretty much where the excitement ends. Vindicator either bumps into Puffy Cloud's front/side for zilch damage, or Puffy Cloud brings the saw down and somehow does even less damage within the few seconds that it's able to hold Vindicator still. Imagine having an active "weapon" and not being able to harm a robot with 5
armor. Jeeesus Christ. But hey, at least Vindicator's able to get a few pot shots in courtesy of The Fatales. Hardly enough for a convincing KO, but it's something.
AGG: 4-1 Vindicator
DMG: 3-2 Vindicator
CTL: 4-1 Vindicator
Vindicator wins by a 11-4 judge's decision.
* A 7 torque bot actually takes 0.03125 seconds to get to max speed, not 0.64. Acceleration is determined by "2 / 2 ^ (tor - 1)", and Puffy Cloud takes 1 second to accelerate with it's 2 torque. 1 / 0.03125 = 32.
Vorpal Bunny Division (B)
Gas Gas Gas has a bye
The Grand Vizier vs Irritant
Irritant definitely lives up to its name in this match and constantly badgers Vizier around, even getting a small flip in here and there. Vizier shrugs those off and fights back with its powerful drum and tries to flip it over the OOTA wall, but no luck. Irritant drives around Vizier like a mosquito flying around one’s head, but Vizier can’t quite squash the bug due to it’s good drivetrain and decent armor. Josh backs off some and waits patiently for Irritant to attempt another angle-in maneuver. Vizier turns and catches him with the drum, then chains a few more blows. Irritant manages to self-right and back away, but now it’s caught in a hazard corner. TBR guns it at Vizier and gets his flipper under. He’s got TGV right against the OOTA wall...oh, wait, the flipper has only 2 weapon. Oh well, that would’ve been the perfect OOTA opportunity. TGV just bounces off of the stone wall and back almost onto Irritant. TBR continues to do his best to pester TGV until the end of the match, though not doing much in the way of controlling him. This will go to the judges!
Damage: 4-1 The Grand Vizier
Aggression: 3-2 Irritant
Control: 3-2 Irritant
The Grand Vizier wins by 8-7 Judges’ Decision!
Untitled Goose Robot vs Ori
Ori vs Untitled Goose robot
This music slaps btw. Also down and dirty version since im not close to my dice and its Thursday. Unfortunately for those of us who were hoping for an exciting match with lots of fun hazard use, we instead get a string of neutral engagements with neither end really taking any advantage ever – Untitled goose robot never manages to get a good hazard herd: most of the times he gets under he’s near the center of the arena, and ori manages to get itself free just before they make it to the spikes. UGR does manage to bully Ori into one of the starting squares for a bit and eat some clock there, though.
Ori on the other hand is clearly losing in the pushing power fight, and it’s really affecting HFL’s ability to actively influence the match, even with a speed advantage. Most of the time he ends up wedge-locked with UGR, and is forced to use the flipper as a spacing tool more than anything else. When he does get under it’s usually because UGR wheelied and occasionally because he got the spatula in under UGR at just enough of an angle to catch noah off guard for a half second. He always flips immediately though, and noah’s not stupid enough to attack with his back to hazards that could end the match for him.
Aggression: 3-2 Untitled Goose Robot
Damage: 3-2 Ori
Control: 3-2 Ori
Your winner, in an 8-7 decision, is Ori!
Chinesium II vs Wasp 2
The fight begins and Chinesium spins in place as expected while Wasp goes straight for, the spikes? Super sees this and takes the opportunity to move his bot away from the walls a little bit, then Wasp reaches it's target and turns in place to charge at Chinesium at full speed in a perfectly straight line. Interesting maneuver i must say.
Chinesium is at full speed, Wasp is charging at full speed, China turns a bit at the last second and big hit happens. It looks like a race car crash but each of the bots are in a different kind of crash. Wasp gets yoinked sideways straight into the pit wall face first while Chinesium drifts off at high speed in the opposite direction while the entire bot spins a lot. It looks like the bar caught the lower edge of Wasp's plow as there is a nice gouge on it.
Then both bots recover just fine, Wasp has to turn around to face it's opponent, giving it time to fully spin up again before eating plow with it's face. This new hit sends both bots away but isn't as impressive. Few seconds after Wasp is back at it again but Chiesium does some surprising driving and turns in place in the right time and place to land another big hit right where it landed the first one.
DJ gets real now and in the next ram manages to not get screwed over and pushes Chinesium spinner scraping like if it was nothing and get a good wall slam followed by a nice wall pin. When Wasp inevitably backs off to let the spinner go Super catches something and lands a decent hit that makes it bounce against the wall he just was held against and sends Wasp right into the nearby corner where the spinner started.
Chinesium ended near his opponent facing it, Wasp has its face against a corner, the planets have aligned, RNJesus has spoken, it's time. Made in China hits the back of the insect, bending the chasis, annihilating one of the wheels, mangling a second one and probably something else. The wedgebot still works tho.
DJ is mad now, he gets away and gets a good ram followed by a wall slam followed by wall pin, he then lets go because rules only for him to do it again. The control game gets real now, somehow. Seriously why are we seeing better driving? anyway then he does the wall slam/pin again. Fast forwards 20 seconds another charge incoming and oof we get another big hit just like the first one, the plow on Wasp seems to have a bit of sideways play now, but its still functional.
Next DJ gets in a good position and does the ram but this time he shoves the spinner into the Stabbing Cold. 10 seconds of 16 ouchies later gets free and seems like it didn't lose any functionality, the bottom plate may be gouged but we can't actually see it se idk. Anyways Chinesium can move now and we get ~45 seconds of Wasp Clownstomping over Chinesium all over the arena and with like 8 seconds to go Wasp goes for one last ram and we get a massive last hit! Both bots get sent far away, Chinesium notably goes airborne and bounces off a wall in mid air and the fight ends shortly after it lands.
Will Chinesium early domination and big damage give it the win or will Wasp's arena control (the entire fight was on Chinesium's starting side), surprising resistance and overwhelming control in the later half of the fight be enough to snatch that decision?
Damage: Chinesium 5, Wasp 0
Aggression: Chinesium 1, Wasp 4
Control: Chinesium 2, Wasp 3
Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision, is Chinesium!
Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)
Lil' Yeetums has a bye
Mimi-Chan vs Taipan
The fight starts, and Mimi-Chan just darts right at Taipan in ridiculous speed at straight line while Taipan dodges it. The PC-98 Touhou and Dream Team bot immediately crashes into the arena wall and disintegrates, destroying both it and the part of the wall it hits.
Winner: Taipan by KO (0:12)
CIRCUITZ vs Black Salvo
Before the fight, Dylan is unable to attend it, so a backup driver is assigned instead. In the fight, the backup driver is nervous and is unable to be aggressive on CIRCUITZ. Instead, Jules just scoops up Black Salvo after rushing and strafing to a vulnerable part, and then immediately follows with a flip, which sends Black Salvo several feet. CIRCUITZ is able to quickly get into it and eventually gets another flip that sends Black Salvo out of the arena.
Winner: CIRCUITZ by FF OOTA (0:16)
Nikkousen vs Finishing Move
I forget if it was Monsterworks or someone else that got on Gabe's case over having the "oh this isn't a lifter it's a 1 point hammer u guise :^) :^)" on his robot, but if it was you, then tsk tsk.
Both parts of Nikkousen decide to split up... and they both actually CHARGE at FM head-on instead of the typical flank2win strategy multibots use. How does this play out? Not too bad, actually. FM has a fair bit of trouble getting under either of the doorstop wedges, lending an early control advantage to NKK. Granted, they're not easily able to end the match. Those flippers don't have the juice to even get FM halfway up the wall, let alone bend it's chassis in half. They attempt the spikes, but FM is able to clap back with it's spinner and avoids having its wheels insta-exploded by the 3 damage pistons.
...but "managed to not die" isn't exactly something that'll impress the judges. FM needs to come up with something, and quick. It stumbles around for another dozen seconds or so before managing to slide it's wedgelets underneath NKK's, pops it right in the kisser, and she goes flying halfway across the arena! You missed the OOTA pit by a good 90 degrees, but it's a start. Seeing an opening, FM pounces for the kill. As much of a kill as 2 damage can possible be, at least. FM and half of NKK grind up against the wall like a couple of drunk partygoers while the other part of NKK tries to break up the lovefest. FM eventually backs off, turns around, and pimpslaps that other part RIGHT into the pit. Hii audibly says "bruh" and spends the rest of the match playing defense with the remaining multibot. I think that's a wrap, folks.
AGG: 3-2 Finishing Move
DMG: 4-1 Finishing Move
CTL: 3-2 Nikkousen
Finishing Move wins by a 9-6 judge's decision.
Elrathia Division (A)
Eagle's Hawk has a bye
25 or 6 to 4 vs King Crimson
Heckdog tries to box rush the RoTas clone, and it fails miserably! It nopes the fuck our of there as there's an actual driver there now! Back from the bathroom stall is drew, PRAISE THE DREW!
Meanwhile, King Crimson just gets flipped and whacked time and time again as Sirens didn't even expect a driver to show up in the first place, which a good chunk of us didn't expect either!
This goes on for a while, and apparently King crimson. Lesson of the day Kiddos, dont just go into the box expecting a dummy in place of the drive!
Winner: 25 or 6 to 4 by KO in 1:06!
Scrapper vs Magnolia Pico
Scrapper runs over Magnolia Pico with its ENORMOUSLY GIRTHY
wheels, instantly crushing the hammerbot's circuit boards to bits. Scrapper wins by KO in -0:01, congrats!
Okay but really this match just boils down to "who can get their instant-death weapon into play first?". Tri pushes both sticks on his controller because SPIN2WIN BAYBEEEEEEEEEEE while MP trods out at a similar pace. They both meet near the center of the arena, center bump permitting. Scrapper revs it's spinner up a little faster and rolls into range, Pico fires it's hammer directly into Scrapper's drum and snaps it right the fuck off in one hit. A few armor plates flop to the ground too, each making a borderline comedic "thud" sound. Scrapper is technically still "mobile" at this point, until a stray gust of wind knocks one of the wheels off.
Magnolia Pico wins by KO (for real this time) in 0:39.
Bluetooth vs Apeirogon
Both bots spin up, and Apeirogon brings the lifter up over its back, turning around, and, yeah, blade on a stick, people! With that much weight out on that long lever it looks to be practically balanced on its back wheels, but since it’s not using the Mecanums it seems to actually be driving reasonably well. Both bots are wary of each other, Bluetooth trying to find a way around that long arm without exposing its wheels. But Apeirogon keeps swinging that thing around, and it’s going to be very hard for Bluetooth to get past that long reach. And Apeirogon makes the first move, darting in and – wham! Hits the top of Bluetooth hard! Apeirogon pops into the air a little and the arm swings up, Bluetooth bounces a little. Almost immediately Bluetooth makes contact with Apeirogon’s wedge, though. Sweet mother of titanium! And the plow gets absolutely cleaved into and almost torn of entirely! It’s just hanging on by one of the mounting brackets.
It looks like Apeirogon did some damage as well, though. There’s been a big chunk knocked out of the front frame rail a little left of center. Both bots are back up to speed, and Apeirogon’s going with the same strategy. Bluetooth’s slowly circling, trying to not take another big hit in that area. Apeirogon comes in – oh, almost misses but panick-turns, sweeping the blade sideways and delivering another massive hit to the top of Bluetooth! It hops in the air again, skids into Bluetooth, and both bots get flung aside by a massive impact! Apeirogon’s back wedge is torn off completely and bounces off the arena wall. One of the wheelguards also has a big gash through it, and… where is that wheel? Did it just evaporate? Oh, no, there it is, or at least part of it.
Bluetooth, meanwhile, seems to be going in circles, albeit big ones. The weapon is still spinning, and the reaction torque is definitely affecting its crabbing. Apeirogon seems to be driving okay-ish on three wheels but only when it puts its weapon back in front of it. So now it’s going to have to try to either outmaneuver Bluetooth and avoid the bar, or get a good uppercut on it. Aaand that wasn’t either of those, there’s a wedgelet gone! It did pop Bluetooth in the air and destabilize it a bit though. It’s gyrodance, Apeirogon rushes in – and there’s a wheel gone from Bluetooth!
We now have two three-wheeled robots, although Bluetooth lost one from the not-working side anyway. It’s wobbling a bit, but I think there’s a little skid below the bar to keep it from hitting the ground. Apeirogon finally gets a big weapon-to-weapon hit, and hurls Bluetooth back into the wall! It ricochets itself towards the spikes. Not quite into them, but it can’t get back out of the corner with its damage drivetrain, and Apeirogon tees it off! Ouch, but Apeirogon’s front corner’s been ripped open in the process! Another wheel crippled. Bluetooth’s stuck on the spikes. Can Apeirogon come in and get the hits it needs?
There’s one – there’s another, and Bluetooth’s on its back! Apeirogon’s got it well and truly pinned, and, it… SLOWLY brings the blade down on the bottom panel, just scraping at it really. It spins back up, turns around, and delivers a huge uppercut that pops the baseplate loose. Bluetooth’s blade’s not gonna spin with armor and guts in the way, and we’ve got a tapout!
Your winner, by knockout in 2:38, is Apeirogon!
Blood Eagle Division (B)
Trilobite has a bye
Wheelosaurous vs The Thieving Magpie
tbh i can't even keep track of which bot is Wheelosaurous and which one is Mastodonosaurus, they even are in the same weight class, somebody please enter a major with a team full of bots with weird names that are hard to remember, spell and are named very similarly to each other.
The fight begins and we can clearly see that pat has a very interesting stat
that consist of waiting in his starting square and waiting. A few seconds after The Thieving Magpie gets there and engages, turns out Pat gets under and he tries to push his opponent. Key word tries
as he fails to do so and even gets pushed back into the nearby wall slowly. Several seconds later Pat gets a stroke of divine illumination and realizes something: he has a weapon that he even spent 12 points on.
Pat brings down the saw and when Shaba notices she backs off immediately, then she engages again and gets under. Then flip, and another flip, and another and... whoops Wheelosaurous is over the wall now.
Your winner, by OOTA in 0:34, is The Thieving Magpie!
Golden MADD 2 vs Blood Eagle
This is the one you’ve been waiting for in Lightweight Group B, folks: two BIG spinners just going at each other. In the purple square we have Blood Eagle, which has the longest blade in its division. I was going to say it’s spinning a longer blade than some of the heavyweight horizontal spinners, but actually it’s just No Fun Machine, Outrage, and Glacier in that class, so not really. And also it’s using a slightly shorter, wider blade in this match. And in the green square we have Golden Madd, which has the heaviest spinning weapon in this class if you don’t count National Security, which spins literally the whole robot.
Anyway, Golden Madd’s spinning up… and is also spinning the whole robot, just in two directions at once. Uhh, I thought the arena floor here wasn’t really ice – it’s concrete? Oh, right, omni wheels. Meanwhile, Blood Eagle appears to have the bar mounted upside-down from its normal counterclockwise orientation. It starts spinning as it comes out of its square – then stops in its tracks. The bar grinds to a halt and starts spinning the other way. Uhh… is the plan to not mess up those nice beveled teeth hitting Golden Madd’s thick steel shell, or what?
Both bots are up to speed and back under control. Golden Madd’s being a little cautious heading towards the middle of the box, and Blood Eagle pulls a classic Laz move and just rams the thing. Oh, and that’s a huge hit! Golden Madd sends itself flying into the wall and pinballs off of both walls near the spikes. The shell’s nearly brought to a stop, and the self-righting pole’s whirling around. It’s got to get out of the corner there! Blood Eagle tries to come in and capitalize off that, but it was sent reeling by the blow too and both bots get a decent head of steam before they smack each other again. Not as bad a hit this time, and Gmadd ends up pinballing itself away to safety.
Blood Eagle’s after it, though. I think they’re both up to full speed, and BLAM! Another massive hit sends Golden Madd into the corner. The spikes come up under it as it bounces off the wall, but it’s got enough momentum that it skids back off, hitting the arena floor as it does so. Whee, more concrete dust! That’s destabilized it a bit, and DJ has to back off on the weapon throttle to get his bot back under control. Meanwhile Blood Eagle has actually hit the wall, but rushes in anyway with a low-speed hit that banks Golden Madd into the corner.
There’s a few more big hits exchanged before one sends Blood Eagle into the wall HARD at the corner of the arena, and it looks like it hit rear-first, possibly on the right wheel. It looks like it might be a little crooked – and it’s going in circles! This could be a problem for them! Golden Madd was having trouble spinning up, but it’s free to do so now! It comes in, going for the other wheel – ooh, but that’s bait! Blood Eagle pivots back with the help of the torque from its weapon, which is very much still working, and Golden Madd just gets FLUNG into the wall, bouncing at an angle and nearly flipping itself over. It spins back up, but sluggishly. Uh oh, and looks like there’s some smoke out of Golden Madd! It is still moving, though, and still spinning. It approaches a bit more cautiously, trying to herd Blood Eagle towards the wall – ouch, but they clip each other again! Golden Madd gets send into the spikes, and again it doesn’t get caught for a long period, but the shell’s stopped! There’s a horrible screeching noise for about a second and it belches out much thicker smoke. The noise stops, the smoke… doesn’t. It’s not a battery fire, I don’t think, but it’s definitely something serious. The srimech pole, and actually the whole shell looks like it’s sitting a little crooked on it.
So at this point Golden Madd’s plan is presumably to try to force the barely-mobile Blood Eagle into the spikes. It takes a hit on the shell – ooh, putting a gouge in it – and at this point Golden Madd’s also moving really, really badly. One or more of its drive motors may have quit, and there’s some sort of electrical fire inside the robot. It manages to get boinked by Blood Eagle’s bar a couple more times and finally gets it stuck on the spikes for a while, but time runs out before anything else can happen.
Damage: Blood Eagle 4, Golden Madd 1
Aggression: Blood Eagle 2, Golden Madd 3
Control: Blood Eagle 3, Golden Madd 2
Your winner, by a 9-6 decision, is Blood Eagle!
Broken Tooth vs Boring Gray Wedge
We start the fight with Boring Gray Wedge rushing out at full speed and taking the 90° corner perfectly heading straight for Broken Tooth. Meanwhile in the other side of the arena Broken Tooth is... wait did Gabe even realize that the fight has already started? He looks extremely focused, in a kind of zen state, he almost looks like he achieved true illumination. A guy in the booth with him even poked his arm but that did nothing.
So these two things happened at the same time for the first few seconds of the fight, now we get back to narration in pseudo real time.
Boring Gray Wedge is heading straight at Broken Tooth, parallel to one of the pit walls, right before collision Gabe quietly turns his bot ever so slightly to adjust for his opponent angling and the forks on Broken Tooth get under. BGW takes a his by the spinner and gets sent back flying quite far and Gabe guns his bot forwards to chase down his opponent. As soon as World's Most Boring Bot lands Broken Tooth gets there and hit it with the spinner and fires the flipper at the same time!
I don't think that helped much as the flip is just slightly more impressive as the last one but its still quite a long fall. Boring Gray Wedge lands on top of the wall of the Depths of Winter in the opposite side of where both bots started and bounces out (of the arena)
Your winner, by OOTA in 0:14, is Broken Tooth!
The Debilitator Division (C)
National Security has a bye
Dr. Robotnik vs Fork Factor
Dr. Robotnik spins up, Fork Factor goes right at it and tries to strafe around the disc – but immediately takes a pretty good hit that knocks the bots apart. There’s some good sparks, but it doesn’t look like a whole lot of damage. Robotnik’s away, still spinning. This bot’s relatively fast for a horizontal spinner, but seems to be having a little trouble turning thanks to the reaction torque of that huge weapon.
Fork Factor keeps up the aggression, and while it can’t avoid Robotnik’s disc the wedge is holding up super well… the forks are another story. The little angled side thingies have been torn off the right sides of both of them, and after a few hits both are looking seriously bent because half the time Robotnik is just bitch-slapping them and sending both bots spinning around like tops. Fork Factor might actually be trying to use its strafing to take hits on the wedge, I’m not sure – oh, but it messed up there and Robotnik hit it in the side, tearing a massive gash in the titanium wheelguard. It’s still driving, though.
This arena’s a bit dangerous for horizontals too. Dr. Robotnik gets in a huge hit that breaks off the front half of one of FF’s forks, but it sends itself careening into the wall and ends up in the corner. No spikes there, that’s a starting square, but Fork Factor’s able to pen it in there and slide under it. Is the lifter working? Yes it is, and that’s dangerous, because while those spikes keep it from getting stuck on its side normally, if it gets propped against the wall – just like that! It could be stranded! Yeah, Robotnik’s stuck there. I think this one’s all ov -
Oh wait, no it isn’t! The disc’s moving! That’s not the fastest-spinning weapon in the competition but it’s heavy and the rounded shape means it takes way less torque to get it going when it’s up against the floor. Robotnik thrashes itself free of the wall before the countdown can even start! It’s inverted now, so the disc’s higher and could be easier on FF’s forks. If it can get it going, that is. Fork Factor rams straight into it and backs it against the wall again. It lifts, and tips it on its rear, but Josh is just spinning up anyway. Gyroscopic forces topple Robotnik onto its side, and it spin dashes away, leaving a trail of sparks and concrete dust. And snaps one of its spikes off plus bends another in the process of gouging up our floor.
However, it’s escape for real this time, and is now getting up a good head of steam. Fork Factor’s wedge is easily deflecting the weapon… until that moment! It pops itself in the air and lands halfway on top of Fork Factor. As FF tries to push it its chassis slips back off, and down comes the disk. We have Mecanum roller carnage! That’s one wheel pretty much completely destroyed, and a couple hits later the second one gets shredded into near uselessness as well.
Fork Factor’s in real trouble now: it can drive, but sluggishly, and it’s barely turning. Not so much turning as circle-strafing around its front, really. Meanwhile Robotnik is raining down hit after hit, mangling the forks even further and getting another shot on the side that rips the left wheelguard off entirely. But it can’t finish Fork Factor off before the buzzer. That is one durable bot… except for the wheels.
Damage: Dr Robotnik 5, Fork Factor 0
Aggression: Dr Robotnik 3, Fork Factor 2
Control: Dr Robotnik 3, Fork Factor 2
Your winner, by an 11-4 Judges’ Decision, is Dr Robotnik!
TSA 2.1 vs Final Mecha Catbot
Two flippers, two big OOTA zones, what could go wrong? Well, the British team could have disgraced their national pride by showing up with a four-bar flipper while the actual “Britflipper” is American… oh, I’m being told that this is exactly what’s happened.
The crowd is certainly on FMC’s side, but really the paint job on its own is enough for that. Both bots are being cagey here. FMC goes for TSA’s side, then backs off as TSA turns in, darts back in… oh, and wheelies up onto TSA’s wedge, but slams it into reverse a second time, and… isn’t quite quick enough, but does a sweet 360 backflip. And it’s right back in for more, drifting around like half of the goddamn featherweights this year, while TSA takes more of an aggressively strategic approach. There’s a quick pop from FMC, getting past the little sliding skirts on TSA’s corner. TSA vaults back onto its wheels, but four-bar flippers don’t self-right as efficiently, and it’s having to use its stronger flipper at full power to do it. It could be at a disadvantage in conserving its gas supply, but it is CO2 so who knows how that all works out.
And there’s a very good toss by TSA. FMC lands right against the low wall, and was close to going out. It’s upside-down, but invertible and still just as quick, rushing away and looking for a good angle to attack TSA from that doesn’t put it at risk of getting sent out.
The problem is, TSA 2.1’s built to score three-pointers and it’s playing on a football field. Uhh… that’s not quite the right metaphor? Playing on a volleyball court? The point is, this arena has big arenas and there’s a lot of floorspace that’s a danger zone for FMC. It’s being cautious of TSA’s weapon, but it’s also spending a lot of time avoiding those angles, and slowing the pace of the fight. Oh, until that moment, as it gets the opening it was looking for, and TSA finds itself flipped, flipped again, and bullied onto the spikes! They actually flip it off the hazard, but at an angle where self-righting would throw it right back on. What can it do here… ooh, it catches the spikes again but does make it off this time. FMC’s in hot purrsuit – and gets flipped right at the announcer’s booth, serves me right for that pun!
TSA’s flipper is losing a bit of power here, though. We’re not quite two minutes in, and they may have to choose between saving the remaining gas for OOTA attempts or giving up on a KO and trying to get the best aggression and control score they can. Final Mecha Catbot’s losing a little bit of oomph too, but the drivetrain’s still working and that’s what it’s mostly relying on. It rolls TSA over again, TSA kicks itself back over, and – ooh, gets FMC trapped underneath the flipper before it can close. It seems to actually be the stronger in a pushing contest though, and Final Mecha Catbot’s forced back into the corner near one of the starting squares.
TSA breaks contact and twirls away, and the flipper does retract properly, but Catbot’s got it on the defensive, juking to its side again. Uh oh, again that slight retreat from TSA catches it, though, and it gets the arm underneath – and there’s a big haymaker of a flip, but it falls short of getting Catbot over the wall! TSA’s going for broke now, and rushes in, pretty much going for the intimidation factor, but Catbot’s too quick to get penned in the corner again. It darts away, and is able to control most of the last twenty seconds of the match.
Damage: TSA 2.1 3, Final Mecha Catbot 2
Aggression: TSA 2.1 2, Final Mecha Catbot 3
Control: TSA 2.1 2, Final Mecha Catbot 3
Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Final Mecha Catbot!
Mastodonosaurus vs Shade Fist
Both bots take the time to spin up before approaching one another, meeting in the middle with a spectacular crash! Mastodonosaurus goes flying up at a diagonal angle, gyrating violently, whilst Shade Fist sheds one of its weapon's teeth. Shade Fist follows up the attack with a second on Mastodonosaurus just as it lands, both weapons meeting once more. The grey spinner is launched away once more, whilst Shade Fist shits something out of its drum mechanism, in hot pursuit. Both bots come to a standstill, pressing against one another hard, Shade Fist's drum stopped dead by Masto's frame, the HS' own spinner not turning either. Looks like we've a good old fashioned cripple fight on our hands.
I'm not going to go into too much detail here, it's a pretty standard battle of the weaponless spinners. Shade Fist does get the upper hand usually, shunting the awkward shape of Masto around the ring and into the Stabbing Cold, resulting in a barrage of perforations on the bottom of the bot, but both bots make it down to the bell, ending in Shade's starting square. Let's see what the judges thought.
Damage: 3-2 Shade Fist
Control: 3-2 Shade Fist
Aggression: 3-2 Shade Fist
Your winner, by a 9-6 decision, is Shade Fist!