The Cherry Bomb Classic IV: Fight Cards, Brackets, and Results

Find all your ARC RPGs and fantasy leagues discussed here. We're good at this stuff.

Moderator: Tournament Hosts

Post Reply
User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

The Cherry Bomb Classic IV: Fight Cards, Brackets, and Results

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Jan 19, 2020 5:30 pm

Image

They came from all corners of the globe: The frigid north of Canada, the lush Rio Plata, the green hills of Lincolnshire, the jungles of Indonesia and, of course, from virtually every part of the good old U.S. of A. For some, it was a chance to add to another trophy to a well stocked case, an accolade to further burnish an established legend. For others, it was a shot at redemption, a cautious second chance to fulfill a dream. There were those who had been in pursuit for some time and those who had come looking for a new experience. Whatever their reasons, here they are, at the greatest show on Earth: The Cherry Bomb Classic IV. Welcome one, welcome all.

Over the course of the next four months, eighty-four unique machines from twenty-five international teams will compete in four different weight classes for the ultimate prize of fantasy robotic combat: the CBC Bowl of Cherries! Now, with the introduction out of the way, it's time for everyone's favourite: organizational stuff!

Image

Introducing the CBC4 Staff

No tournament can be run without people willing to spend their time and energy and smile through the passive-aggressive complaints that flow forth from losing teams after each week's results are posted. Before we begin, I'd like to thank each and every one of these people by recognizing them here. Should anybody wish to join the staff, your help is warmly welcomed. Don't be shy about stepping forward!

Tournament Organizer: The Monsterworks
Deputy Tournament Organizers: Hooray For Lexan, The_Angry_Goat
Writers: Shaba 117, Trihunter, Tcrrr, YSMQTHLQYH, Bill5545, Carpedav000, Madman, and V900

Going forward, I ask only that all staff members operate in good faith, exercise neutrality, and be familiar with the tournament-specific rules. If you are unsure of something, ask! Conversely, from the participants' end, I expect that staff should be shown respect at all times. Feel free to ask for clarification about results, but anything that I and I alone deem to have crossed the line will be punished immediately and severely. :D That won't be necessary, though, will it? :D

Image

Helpful Information

1. This event will use an updated version of the traditional CBC rules that can be found here. If you are a writer, you will be expected to familiarize yourself with these. If you are solely a competitor, then uh... knowing the rules is probably a very good thing anyways.

2. The Cherry Bomb Classic has always been unique among fantasy robotic combat tournaments for its use of a diverse and rotating cast of challenging arenas that are more than simply places to do battle. Each has a personality of its own, and familiarizing yourself with the week's arena could be the difference between the sweet taste of victory and the reek of defeat. Information on the arenas can be found here. Not all arenas listed will be in use, so please check carefully!

3. The hazards in the arenas deal different amounts of damage depending on how well-armoured your bot is. Take a look at the Hazard Damage Scale to learn just how badly they're gonna treat you.

4. If you have any questions, concerns, good memes, or ideas to discuss, feel free to check out our discussion thread.

5. Need to figure out how to tackle your opponent for this week? You should definitely take a look at our CBC4 Competitors Table (helpfully compiled by attackfrog) as well as the Official Signup Thread.

6. "Wait! I'm not fighting this week!?!!!!11!!one!1!!!??": Yes! This may be the case, Don't worry. You probably haven't been booted. Due to the odd number of entrants in each weight class, every bot will have one bye week during the regular season. During the regular season, we will also be alternating weeks between weight classes. Featherweight and lightweight robots will fight one week, followed by middleweight and heavyweight machines the next. Finally, there will be an eliminator between the eighth and ninth seeds before the playoff bracket commences.

7. The Cherry Bomb Classic IV will also be observing the standard ARC rules about politeness, respect, and NOT EDITING YOUR RP OR READING YOUR OPPONENT'S RP IF HE OR SHE POSTS BEFORE YOU! Break any of these rules once, and you will forfeit the week's matches. Break them twice, and you're out of the tournament. I know that won't happen, though, Y'all are chill.

8. If your robot has alternate configurations, wedge options, or armour bonus options, you will be required to inform your opponent of which you are using a reasonable amount of time before the fight. If not, you have the option of specifying conditions under which a configuration will be used in your signup post and your bot will default to the specified config. Little things like wedgelet placement or whatever are exempt from this. Remember that your main chassis armour must stay the same across all options and configurations.

9. There will be a hard 400 word RP limit for all regular season RPs except for first round RPs. You may want to write a bit extra to help familiarize writers with your bot's abilities and features. Those RPs will have a 500 word limit. Playoff RPs will also enjoy a 500 word limit because, you know, those actually matter. For rumbles, a strict 200 word limit will be enforced to ease the burden on writers.

10. Unless otherwise explicitly stated, RPs will always be due on the Saturday night of the week they are posted at 11:59 PM EST.

Image

Schedule

The Cherry Bomb Classic is a LONG HAUL, friend: eighteen weeks in total, but I swear it'll all be worth it in the end. Money back guarantee! Below you'll find the schedule, including arenas for the week.

Round One: Razor's Edge (FW/LW) & Black Sun (MW/HW) - weeks 1 and 2
Round Two: Gothiq (FW/LW) & The Woodshed (MW/HW) - weeks 3 and 4
Round Three: Ironworks (FW/LW) & The Noir (MW/HW) - weeks 5 and 6
Round Four: Hall of Ice and Wind (FW/LW) & Stormhavn (MW/HW) - weeks 7 and 8
Round Five: The Asylum (FW/LW) & The Grid (MW/HW) - weeks 9 and 10
Round Six: The Asylum (FW/LW) & The Grid (MW/HW) - weeks 11 and 12
Round Seven: Hall of Ice and Wind (FW/LW) & Stormhavn (MW/HW) - weeks 13 and 14
Eighth Place Eliminators: Ironworks (FW/LW) & The Noir (MW/HW) - week 15
Quarterfinals: Ironworks (FW/LW) & The Noir (MW/HW) - week 16
Semifinals: Gothiq (FW/LW) & The Woodshed (MW/HW) - week 17
Championship: Razor's Edge (FW/LW) & Black Sun (MW/HW) - week 18

With the size of the draw and the available writing staff, the tournament will alternate weeks between lighter weights and heavier weights, so RPing and writing will both be pretty low-burden affairs, with only two fights per week. Assuming that all goes as planned, CBC4 will finish up on May 23, around the time that ROBOTS4 begins.

Image

The Brackets

These will always be your best and most up-to-date sources of information on your results and upcoming matches. You can check them out below.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Middleweight

Heavyweight

Image

Let's Get this Show on the Road!

Above is everything that you should ever need in terms of references for this event. I'd like to offer you my sincere thanks for participating and placing your trust in me to organize this shindig. I hope you enjoy it. Best of luck!

- The Monsterworks

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round One Fight Card (FW & LW): Razor's Edge

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Jan 19, 2020 6:13 pm

Hello all and welcome! It's great to see you, but let's get you somewhere a bit cooler, shall we? It's quite literally a scorcher here in Melbourne. Yes, Australia may be burning, but let's fiddle anyways by playing vapourbots. This week, our Featherweights and Lightweights are in action, and they'll be fighting in the love letter to neon and the eighties known as Razor's Edge! Don't like it? Hey, I didn't choose it! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


Razor's Edge by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: Razor's Edge

Location: Melbourne, Australia

Layout: Rectangular

Size: 40 ft x 30 ft - 1200 square feet

Intended Use: FW - MW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Love Letter to Neon and the Eighties

Floor Materials: painted steel

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • The Razor (1) - The entire arena is on a slightly raised platform, with this wall, designed to look like a razor, separating it from a drop of five feet. Starting half a minute into the match, it will begin lowering from its initial height of five feet at a rate of one foot per thirty seconds, stopping once it reaches a height of one foot with half a minute remaining.
  • The Glory Hole (1) - At one end of the razor is a hole large enough to push a small robot through during the first minute of the match, given enough precision and a strong drivetrain. If a robot becomes stuck in The Glory Hole through its opponent's actions as The Razor lowers it will suffer moderate to heavy damage, that opponent will be required to back off, and The Razor will rise briefly to free it before returning to its proper position and resuming its downward progress.
  • Psycho Exes (2) - Two of these x-shaped killsaw configurations lurk in each of the corners close to the Razor, rising for up to ten seconds when robots drive over them and dealing moderate damage. The teeth and spin direction of their blades are designed to feed you into the middle of them, so X definitely marks the spot... that you need to avoid.
  • Wild Flings (2) - This pair of large spinning drums occupies much of the arena's northern wall. While they can be used to aid in self-righting, their design also potentially high-centers robots on top of them, chewing up their underbellies for moderate to heavy damage.

Achievement One: A Close Shave - Score an OOTA with less than ten seconds remaining.

Achievement Two: Edgelord - Shove an opponent out of bounds through The Glory Hole in The Razor.
Earned by:
Show
Team Riptide: I Can't Believe it's not Tanto (CBC4 Round One)
End of the Line LLC: Untitled Goose Robot (CBC4 Round One)

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, January 25, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is usually 400 words, but it will be 500 for this round. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not clearly posted in your signup.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Image

Results


Featherweight

Firebird Division (A)

Black Dog has a bye

Puffy Cloud vs Gabrial

The match starts off a bit slowly with Puffy Cloud faking a direct box-rush on Gabrial and baiting him into firing that powerful axe. Pat misses his target and PC comes in and starts sawing at one of Gabrial’s large wheels while pushing it towards the Wild Flings. The drums catch Gabrial and send it tumbling and it ends back down on its side. Pat fires the axe in desperation, but cannot get righted before Puffy Cloud closes in again and brings its saw down, grinding away at that left wheel again. PC’s weapon isn’t doing much in the way of damage, but the Wild Flings are doing damage, and that’s why Code is feeding Gabrial to them again. Gabrial does land upright this time and Pat fires the axe repeatedly in anger/frustration - just hoping to get one or two crushing blows in. PC drives around, looking for an opening, and sees one. It angles in just as Gabrial turns in his direction, and WHAM, the axe comes down right on the saw arm. It’s almost completely mashed down now and looks to be out of commission, but PC can still move, and it shoves Gabrial around the arena and pinning it repeatedly. One more trip to the Wild Flings and time is up. This will go to the judges!

Damage: 4-1 Gabrial

Aggression: 4-1 Puffy Cloud

Control: 4-1 Puffy Cloud

Puffy Cloud wins by 9-6 Judges’ Decision!

Vindicator vs NRG 2

Vindicator swerves to the side of NRG and pushes it.

Yep. That's it. That's the match. I mean I could pad this out with some gag B-plot where both bots have intense lesbian sex or something, but in terms of the actual *match* there's not really a whole ton to comment on. Vindicator has at least twice the effective speed of NRG and non-shit traction, so it's able to nope the weapon despite NRG's best efforts. NRG's able to hook itself off sometimes and fails to do so other times, but getting the weapon into play is a long shot. Vindicator manages to push NRG into some hazards and scratches the wheels a bit. I sleep.

(Also, it goes without saying that NRG definitely does not fit the glory hole.)

AGG: 4-1 Vindicator
DMG: 3-2 Vindicator
CTL: 5-0 Vindicator

Vindicator wins by a 12-3 judge's decision.

I Can't Believe it's not Tanto vs Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2

It's the battle of the excessively long names! Tanto kicks off the fight by rushing in, easily beaching Seed Killer on itself as it slams it into the back wall, Billy's attempt to strike Tanto combining with the inertia of the ram to throw it back against the wall, rolling along its edge for a moment before righting itself with another strike. Tanto's quick to follow up, scooping up the bird as it flails, trying to get a hit in before being thrown to the Exes. One shredding later, and Seed Killer manages to limp away, hobbling slightly before Tanto rushes in again. Seed Killer manages to catch Tanto out somewhat, slamming a strike down directly on its right wheel as it gets wedged and thrown again. Tanto's left limping, but not enough to prevent it from getting tossed through the gloryhole... Seed Killer actually manages to catch itself with the axe head between the edges of the hole, but it's not recoverable, and soon drops afterwards.

I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto wins by KO in 0:24

Team Riptide has also earned the achievement 'Edgelord'


Vorpal Bunny Division (B)

Ori has a bye

Chinesium II vs Mass Destruction

The match first starts with Mass Destruction trying to rush Chinesium II quickly. However, it angles itself slightly, only to get hit by the drum a little before its bar gets up to speed. However, Mass Destruction is also knocked away and grazes one of the saws, which puts a small cut through one of the front wheels. Now in an uppercutter mode, Chinesium takes time to spin up while Mass Destruction tries to charge in again, attempting to flank Chinesium when it reaches it's full speed because it knows the risk of hitting head on.

Unfortunately for Mass Destruction, it's not prepared for Chinesium pulling the classic Tombstone spin trick. As Mass Destruction closes in on the side aggressively, it gets whacked by Chinesium at full speed on one side of the drum support. This immediately destroys it and throws the drum away completely, which flies through the Glory Hole. Now limping from the hit, Mass Destruction is left helpless as Chinesium finishes the fight with another single hit when Mass Destruction starts to smoke, which breaks the robot in half for a countout.

Winner: Chinesium II by KO (1:02)

Wasp 2 vs Gas Gas Gas

Dear lord

Pressing in 2020 smh my head. That being said the whole shoving yourself into a corner plan works well for stopping Tri from drifting. GGG just kinda sits there for a moment, and if we can get a replay of this after the match tri just dropped the NASTIEST side eye at Rinzler there before getting back to it and flinging himself at his opponent. The luck of the gods seems to be in Tri’s favor as of current, as gas gas gas gets under wasp, and both of them immediately smack into a wall. GGG gets off like, a half flip thing but Wasp stays upright as it goes tumbling off the side of the bot.

This does break the deadlock of wasp hiding in a corner though, and trihunter excitedly tries to get to Wasps’s flanks immediately. Hilariously, wasp’s wheels immediately spin out and the whole drifting thing works completely perfectly.

Yes I was serious. Congrats on rolling a nat one rinz. Unfortunately for tri GGG is on the left of wasp when this happens, which means the only particularly available hazard is the OOTA zone, which is not low enough for him to reach it at this point. He tries to maneuver his prey into a position where he could be flung into the X things but this gives Rinz enough time to waggle free again. GGG kinda goes shooting past and gives up the advantage for free. As we get back into neutral there’s some more sparring, and some more circle strafing, and some more drift king attempts, but this time the lifterbot gets underneath, just barely securing an opening. He tries to do some fancy manievering with the lifter, but GGG eventually squeaks free after getting slammed into a wall, losing a bit of plastic off the omniwheels in the back.
We get another neutral and again Gas Gas Gas gets under, and this time gets a nice flip that just barely misses getting Wasp really stuck up on the drums. they stay in approximately this position for a while, GGG playing gatekeeper and making life an absolute pain for wasp. Eventually he gets some fancy-ass wonky movements with the lifter that self-right him into a position where he actually gets underneath the back of Gas Gas Gas for a half second before they return to neutral.

This time Wasp is able to back into a corner, and force the head on again. It actually pays off too, and he gets DEEP under GGG. You can see tri mashing at the controls as he gets trapped in a pseudo-clamp – but now see here’s the thing about j-hooking. Ya kinda sorta need like… traction to do it? And yeah sure you have 9 traction after penalties or whatever but literally you have like one omni on the ground and one half in the air on the side of his wedge so fuck if you can do anything before you get slammed across the arena and eat a psycho X right to a front wheel.

Foam. Everywhere. Ya know Alex makes me clean these damned arenas right? It’s what I get for offering up a bit extra of my time with him all overworked. Anywho half that wheel’s gone and I think GGG lost some more plastic bits, but he finally realizes he could flail about with the flipper to get free if he wanted to so he does that. They reset to neutral, and we get some more dumbass circle strafing shit before time expires

Aggression: 4-1 Gas Gas Gas
Damage: 3-2 Wasp
Control: 3-2 Wasp

Your winner, in an 8-7 split, is Gas Gas Gas!

Untitled Goose Robot vs Irritant

We begin with both of the participants of this real game of robots that technically aren't robots that fight each other in a battle to death or at least to impress the arbitrary judges that know the absolute truth and are god-like because supposedly only god can judge you or something like that approaching each other at high speed and just go face to face.

Iritant gets under Goose's wedges while the later manages to cleanly use his clamps as intended. TBR has a plan for this very situation and fires his Irmitant's flipper, only to notice that the clamps are on a hinge and this doesn't accomplish anything but making Goose do a wheelie thing, not even close of breaking the clamping.

Irishant then tries to use his drivetrain to push the goosebot as that's the only thing it can do right now, of course this was a total failure and vee nein hundert can easily push his opponent wherever he wants, he goes first for the big drum hazard, and he succeeds. This causes Irishgrant to be sent up and land inverted, but the flipper self rights it almost immediately. Immediately it gets grabbed again by the goose and get sent to the same hazard, this time it seems like Noah forgot to release the clamps or something as his bot somehow ended flipped after this, not like it changes much.

A few seconds of nothing happens before they go face to face again and Goose gets under its opponent, but it backs off immediately. More seconds of nothing later, they engage again and Immigrant gets under this time, but the same thing from before happens so TBR doesn't benefit much from it.

Noah decides to head straight to the other side of the arena and surprisingly he gets there with opponent under control and all, he thinks that's enough and goes for tHe gLOrY hOLe.

Turns out he succeeds at sending Ignisrant through it for a fast win.

Your winner, by KO in 0:49, is Untitled Goose Robot!

End of the Line LLC. has also earned the achievement 'Edgelord'


Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)

Black Salvo has a bye

Nikkousen vs Mimi-Chan

Mimi-Chan revs up during the countdown, blasting off at exactly zero, and- oh... I... I don't think we can legally broadcast that, jeez... Uh... Well, you'll find out the victor of this match, after these messages!



Nikkousen wins by war crime in 0:00

Finishing Move vs Lil' Yeetums

Lil Yeetums has a very, very powerful flipper. They’re gonna be fishing for an OOTA in all likeihood, but Finishing Move has a very quick, strafing drivetrain, and could make it very, very difficult for them.

Finishing Move’s up to speed and drifting around like a lunatic. Lil Yeetums is playing it very, very safe here, mostly just trying to keep the front pointed at FM… but FM’s being very cautious as well. They’ve a good wedge in front and might come out ahead going head-on against Yeetums’s forks, but they might not, and that robot’s got exposed Mecanum Wheels, which aren’t a good thing to drop a robot on from ten feet in the air. They’re trying to come in pointing away from the Razor at the very least, and actually in pretty much the opposite direction, but Yeetums isn’t exactly being slow either.

Ooh! And there Finishing Move finally gets an opponent, and slips past the forks, smacking Yeetums on the wheel and taking a big chunk out of the tread. Lil Yeetums gets flipped over, and takes another big hit that tosses it in the air. It lands upside-down – and there’s the power of the flipper, flinging it high into the air tumbling over and over! It luckily lands upright, but takes another hit – this time on the forks – tossing it close to the Razor. But FM backs off, retreating to spin its weapon back up, and Yeetums landed on its wheels again, so it’s able to drive off, wobbling a bit on a bent axle.
There’s a couple more ineffectual exchanges. Yeah, Finishing Move does NOT want any of that flipper’s nonsense. It lands a couple glancing blows on either the forks or the wheels, but mostly it’s strafing around and not committing to an attack – until Yeetums strays close to the Razor again, but this time, it charges straight in! Yeetums lunges too – FM tries to back off, but they’ve misjudged the distance Yeetums can cover slightly and skids into it. The drum… beater… disc… things throw some sparks off the forks, but don’t bite in. Finishing Move’s away again – oh, but Lil Yeetums fires the flipper, misses, and flings itself onto its back! it’s not that far from the wall either, and with us past a minute in it’s probably low enough for FM to get an OOTA itself. It strafes into position and lines up before rushing in – oh, but Lil Yeetums pops itself up in the air a bit with the flipper. It wasn’t anywhere near full power and still gets it smacked, but it got tossed off to the side and NOT in the direction FM was hoping for. It still rushes in and gets a couple of followups before Yeetums is able to self-right and get away, but you can see the frustration on Alex’s face in the driver’s booth.

Now Lil Yeetums seems to actually be steering clear of the razor – but then, they can get an OOTA from almost anywhere, can’t they? Finishing Move… well, it can do that! Yeetums is Yeeted into one of the walls without an OOTA, winds up inverted on the slope, and its attempt to self-right tosses it halfway across the arena… and it has to do another low-power shot to get back up.
I’ll tell you what, if this goes to the judges right now, Finishing Move has a solid lead on damage, and definitely has the points on control, and I think it’s got aggression too. If it can just keep this up for the remaining half of the fight, I think it can take this! Ooh, that was almost deadly – it takes a flip, but it’s a glancing one with Yeetums only having a fork under one of FM’s own. FM’s inside wedgelet is severely jammed up, but not enough momentum’s transferred to the chassis to send it into the stratosphere. It ends up inverted and the weapon grazes the floor. It easily self-rights though – as does Yeetums, which has flipped itself over in the process.
There’s another charge from Finishing Move, but it’s fended off, and the spinner’s having to do more dodging and strafing around to stay away from Lil Yeetums’s flipper. Yeetums is on the defensive again… FM goes for a wheel, but gets a faceful of forks. Sparks fly, and OH! Robots fly! There’s the moment we’ve been waiting for, folks! Finishing Move bounces off the lexan at least eight feet, and comes down like an accident at an airshow. It bounced a couple times, and I definitely see a bent axle on one of those wheels. And that Kevlar and carbon fiber shell looks like it’s taken some abuse too. Pieces are partially broken off.

Now, Finishing Move’s self-righted. It’s got one jammed wheel it looks like, and it’s bent in a way where only two of the others can touch the ground at a time. It’s crabbing around, but not in the most controlled fashion, and Yeetums can finally keep up with it. It shoves its sturdy forks into the spinner, grinding away its kinetic energy… ohh, man, and there’s another big flip! FM’s arm gets wrenched all the way back, and while it comes down upright the arm’s not coming back. It’s got to point the rear end at Lil Yeetums now. It’s driving, barely, and actually – ooh, gets some decent grinding action on the top, but it’s getting slowly pushed back. The Razor’s getting close to its final one foot height. An OOTA is very easy right now… Yeetums has to back off a couple times, trying to actually get under FM’s rear forks, but finally does so, and… GOODBYE!

Your winner, by OOTA in 2:38, is Lil Yeetums!

CIRCUITZ vs Taipan

I see GF also didn’t get the whole pressing gives you no advantage any more message either. Unfortunately even if it did work he still spends the first 2 minutes of the match getting absolutely bodied by circuitz. Like, he ain’t driving stupid (though he does over-steer once), but he just did not seem ready for Jules to come out like a rocket and strafe like a motherfucker and it shows. The fact that he manages to avoid getting OOTAed for that long is an accomplishment in and of itself.

Oh yeah Taipan is out of the arena now btw that’s a thing that occurred. It was a beautiful flip too – cleared the wall cleanly and everything.

Your winner, by KO in 1:57, is CIRCUITZ!

Image

Lightweight

Elrathia Division (A)

Magnolia Pico has a bye

25 or 6 to 4 vs Bluetooth

Man, w0lf really got smacked with the shit-luck stick this week, huh? Undercutter vs midcutter with zilch range. You know how this ends. Both bots whirr up to speed, Bluetooth's bar rapidly clacks a couple times against 25's shell before catching a tooth and chucking it a few feet.

(adjusts imaginary glasses)

...it's got kiwi drive? Okay, ignore that last part. 25 skids alllll the way across the arena floor. Bluetooth slaps 25 around like a drunk boyfriend a bit more before one of the motors conks out. Bluetooth also recoils itself into the drum at one point and gets its rear left wheel torn up a bit, but who cares tbh

Bluetooth wins by KO in 1:24.

Apeirogon vs Eagle's Hawk

The match starts off with both bots meeting each other but not doing a whole lot to each other. Both of their drivetrains are pretty evenly matched up, with the exception of Apeirogon being able to strafe using its mecanum wheels, but it doesn’t look to have a huge advantage. EH is more compact, so it has little trouble countering Apeirogon’s maneuvers and can even push it some due to the mecanum’s lack of traction. Eagle’s Hawk tries to push Apeirogon into the nearest hazard, one of the X-shaped killsaw groups, but Maxi is able to strafe away from the damaging hazard. Apeirogon then manages to angle in on EH’s forks and slips under, getting a good bite with its weapon. The hit sends EH up and onto its back towards the center of the arena (why didn’t Maxi try for the OOTA?). Oh, and EH is having trouble getting traction on the arena floor in its inverted state. It manages...barely...to get over towards the Wild Flings on the opposite side and tries to utilize that hazard to right itself. Well, it works...kinda. The problem is that EH ends up getting caught up on the drums and they do a decent job at beating up the underside and the front forks of the bot. EH does get itself righted, but at a price - one fork is noticeably bent downward and that caused it to get caught up in the floor. Not to mention, Apeirogon is on him right away and gets in a lift before the weapon catches and sends EH flying again...into the Wild Flings again! This time, they deposit EH inverted and before Billy can get to trying to get righted again, Apeirogon comes in and manages to push EH over to the opposite wall, which, by this time in the match, has lowered to only a foot high. Apeirogon lines up the helpless EH and one hit with its weapon sends it out of the arena!

Apeirogon wins by KO (OOTA) in 2:32!

Scrapper vs King Crimson

A fuckhuge drum vs a rather non-conventional flipper. Yikes.

So to start the match Scrapper just takes time to spin up while crimson charges it. Just before impact, scrapper turns to get a better hit and holy crap does it pay off. The drum connects with the corner of Crimson’s wedge, sending the poor flipper hurtling through the air and landing dangerously close to the exes. After everyone gets a chance to recover from witnessing that megahit. One of the arms on the flipper is bent slightly, keeping one corner of the plow off the ground. Crimson charges at scrapper again, this time getting scrapper stuck on the plow and taking it for a ride. Scrapper uses some gyro trickery to try and free himself. It doesn’t quite work, but the resulting wall slam jams the drum down on crimson’s wedge, knocking it back a few feet. Crimson decides to shake things up by trying to flank to the wheels, but scrapper can see this from a mile away and gyros to land another hit that sends the king airborn. Crimson lands, and scrapper is waiting for it. Scrapper wastes no time going for the side hit they’ve been waiting for, and the flipping mechanism gets launched clean off, scattering across the floor. However this does not kill crimson, and now it is angry. With it’s new weight loss program a success, it maneuvers to the side of scrapper and takes it for a wild ride to the exes, scrapper shredding a tire and losing a side of drive in the process. Scrapper is reduced to gyro mobility, and the KO is only moments away. Crimson backs up to push the limping drum into the opposite ex. It lines up, charges at it, and just before it gets there, the whole plan goes down the toilet. Scrapper regains control and turns to face crimson, and the hit that comes next is too graphic to show to general audiences. In short, most of crimson gets punted oota, the rest is scattered bits and bobs EVERYWHERE. What a fight kids.

Scrapper wins by OOTA in 1:36


Blood Eagle Division (B)

Blood Eagle has a bye

Broken Tooth vs Wheelosaurous

Broken Tooth opts to fight like a 4WD vert against Wheelosaurus. However, Wheelosaurus has predicted this and made some plans to fight it, starting side ways on. Broken Tooth then rushes into Wheelosaurus, which doesn't move at all and just baiting Broken Tooth with an opening, until it suddenly backs off and turns. Broken Tooth is forced to follow and gyros a bit.

Immediately, Wheelosaurus seizes this chance and gets under Broken Tooth, but the latter quickly escapes. Another maneuvering ensues, but Broken Tooth eventually manages to get its forks under the front wedge and uppercuts Wheelosaurus.

When Wheelosaurus lands back on it's wheels, it's wedge has been bent upward and Broken Tooth is ready for another charge near the wall. Taking no chance, Broken Tooth rushes in easily and delivers another uppercut to Wheelosaurus, this time dealing a serious hit to the baseplate. The opponent is almost thrown out, but the baseplate gets entirely destroyed up to the inside, spilling the damaged internals out and knocking the machine.

Winner: Broken Tooth by KO (00:59)

Boring Gray Wedge vs Trilobite

We don’t have any weapons here, but we do have two very fast robots. Trilobite’s slightly the quicker, but is not invertible and can’t self-right. BGW doesn’t have a flipper though so who knows if that will actually come into play.

Well, there’s a bit of initial circling and looking for openings, but Boring Gray Wedge just reverses straight into – and over – Trilobite! It immediately turns around, but Trilobite’s fast enough it’s already traveled a significant distance. It turns around again – ooh, and BGW gets under the side of that shield, knocking Trilobite spinning. But not it’s Trilobite in reverse, slipping underneath BGW with that HINGED rear tail.

The issue is, Trilobite’s basically just a speed bump for BGW. It’s getting under, but with the speed of the bots the gray wedge just keeps monstertrucking over it. And BGW’s no slouch either, eventually getting under Trilobite – oh, and SLAMMING it into the wall! Trilobite gets slammed up onto its side and almost goes over. Rocket’s got to be really careful here! Ooh, and it’s caught again! And the problem here is that while Trilobite’s basic chassis shape lets it get tilted back quite a bit without being high-centered, the back “horns” on that curved wedge extend way behind the wheels and way out to the side, which makes it really, really easy to strand it. Boring Gray Wedge starts maneuvering it towards the Glory Hole! Come on, let’s get a pushout! Heave! Ho! Give her the – oh, no! Trilobite’s ridiculously wide shield won’t even fit!
Multiple attempts fail to shove Trilobite through the too-small hole, and BGW subsequently backs over the killsaws during the walk of shame. Aluminum shavings fly. Trilobite also gets clipped, but lives to fight another day, and after a bit of back and forth it gets under BGW’s corner, and – ooh, this time it seems to be stuck! It’s got wheels in good positions to avoid getting high-centered by tipping, but the actual ground clearance isn’t that high and Trilobite’s curved shape under the middle of the bot leaves it stuck precariously on top of it. She’s maneuvering towards – ah, the Wild Flings! That’s a risky hazard, if you get yourself flipped it’s all over! But that’s good driving from Trilobite, and it’s able to just carefully edge BGW into the hazard and topple it onto its back.

Now it’s a whole different ball game, because BGW’s wedge does NOT work inverted, giving it approximately… nothing it can do to Trilobite. It gets repeatedly rammed and ramped into the air, bounced around the arena – and now Trilobite’s going for the glory hole with the speed and confident of a robot that knows it won’t fit down but its opponent will!

But apparently not the aim of a robot that has no fear of the saws. Trilobite’s a little off-target, and by now the arena wall is starting to lower, and BGW bounces to safety. It finally makes a successful run for the Wild Flings, and gets itself flipped back upright. And in the last thirty seconds, Trilobite’s taken into the Wild Flings! This could be all over – or is it! With the bot tipped towards the hazard on top of BGW’s wedge, the drum’s teeth are just scraping against its curved top and not launching it properly.

This is one slippery machine, and it retaliates with a couple more big slams, inverting BGW one more time before time runs out.

Judges’ Decision:

Damage: Trilobite 3, BGW 2
Aggression: Trilobite 2, BGW 3
Control: Trilobite 3, BGW 2

Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Trilobite!

Golden MADD 2 vs Voltaic

Hop staggers into the driver's booth absolutely loaded. I think he just puked a little bit on his shirt and the floor. At least Voltaic itself can't be as bad as its driver. Can it?

DJ, in the other booth, is aiming to find out. The buzzer sounds, Whitesnake starts playing, and both weapon spin up to full speed surprisingly quickly. While Golden MADD leaves its square smoothly but cautiously, Voltaic lurches out unevenly, skewing this way and that and experiencing quite a bit of wheel lift in the process. Golden MADD just goes for it. Hop is caught unprepared. He mashes the control stick drunkenly, trying to get his bot's weapon in position, but it's no good. "And he's fucked it!" Ozzy Man screams from somewhere in the audience. "Welcome to destination fucked!"

Voltaic oversteers badly and its wedge gets absolutely obliterated by the whirling golden blur that is its American opponent. The vertical spinner is hurled into the Wild Flings like so much scrap, batteries, wires, and other bits trailing out of it. The drums churn it up a bit, spitting further pieces across the arena until officials call a halt to the fight and the LiPo disposal team rushes in to deal with the debris. Golden MADD returns calmly to its square, its weapon now certified deadly and gradually spinning down.

Golden MADD wins by KO (forfeit) at 0:37


The Debilitator Division (C)

Final Mecha Catbot has a bye

Shade Fist vs Diamond Head

We begin this match with both of the bots rapidly approaching each other and meeting right in the middle of the arena for the first hit of the fight a few seconds in. The hit is rather anti-climatic and it seems that Diamond Head got the better catch with his weapon as Shade Fist gets sent back farther in a somewhat spiny slide thing.
MinoTARD is surprisingly fast to follow up for what seems to be his first fight ever and quickly gets another hit in, but not quite before our expert driver Badnik gets his bot in position for another weapon to weapon hit. Now we got the big hit we expected before, Diamond Head does a somersault (i can't believe i spelled that word right in my first try) while Shade Fist straight up flies away and hits hard against the wall, near to his starting square. The replay of our high quality camera recordings show that the noob managed to get a lucky hit and somehow catch the edge of the gap in the middle of SF's drum.
Both drivers recover and go back to fighting and it seems like one side of SF's drive is dead so this is really good for Mino and... oh wait nevermind, it works again.
Anyways lets speed up this narration a bit until something actually meaningful happens. Both bots go to the middle and be get another big hit, this time the damage is more evenly split, DH lands flipped but its invertible so it just has to turn around and now we can notice turning for it is rather awkward and could be exploited.
Next a few meh hits until the lucky bastard of TARD gets another good shot, SF doesn't scare us this time with death, or does it?
no it doesn't, but MinoTARD gets another decent hit before Badnik has time to think. A few seconds after SF manages to finally to get the better part of an exchange, DH does a flip an a half in the air and lands spinner first, hitting the floor and sending it into the air again, landing very close one of the X hazard things but manages to get away from it.
Then another rather symmetrical hit, several seconds of nothing interesting later Shade Fist gets another really good hit in and DH lands facing the other way. Badnik is quick to rush in for a hit on the exposed juicy chasis, Diamond Head turns around but the long and narrow chasis combined with the spinning heavy weapon far away from the turning center doesn't let it turn around before SF eats a tasty wheels and flip DH over like a pancake.
Diamond head seems to be still alive in the two seconds before the next weapon to weapon hit, which SF takes the better part of and makes his opponent fly into the nearby wall and bounce out of it, right over the already low Razor, straight out of the arena.
Also that side of Shadow Fist's drive proceeded to die again for no real reason >:V

Your winner, by OOTA in 2:26, is Shade Fist!

Mastodonosaurus vs National Security

You know what we have here? Two guys hollering that the other guy's bot won't work. No matter who wins, we all lose, in a way. Simply but, both spinners spin up. Mastodonosaurus (seriously, fuck you for that name) takes the initiative in showing much movement, while National Security barely inches out of its square. It reverses right before contact. I think the idea was to ensure engagement with the teeth, but it basically results in the melty-brain thwack slamming into the wall and rebounding wildly. Of course, Masochist doesn't have the speed to effectively chase it down, it recovers, and we get another hit.

It's hard to notice, because the height difference is so minimal, but Master and Commander seems to actually be running upside-down to give its bar a bit more height. I assume the idea is to avoid blade to THING contact and try to get at National Security's chassis directly. It doesn't work cleanly, but the bar does seem to be skipping off the very top of MassimoV's teeth. It feels like it's only a matter of time. A second big collision sees NS sent hard into the drums, and they clank and clunk it around for a bit. Mastodon seems to be having trouble following up the hit, though. It's lefthand drive seems to be intermittent or struggling for purchase on the arena floor for whatever reason. I imagine that the shock loads of those collisions haven't been hind to its less-than-sturdy looking frame. In any event, it gets its shit sorted just as NS gets back under control.

Pay Dirt.

The slight wobble that Master Chef seems to be experience helps it RNG its blade off the top of National Security's teeth and right into the American machine's chassis. We have shrapnel, ladies and gentlemen. More rebounding and more of both bots recovering because they don't really have drivetrains. The melty is still going somehow, though there's a definite wobble to it now and a piece of shrapnel is flapping wildly as it spins. Masterwork, meanwhile, seems to be having some serious difficulties. That last hit, and the skipping off at an angle before impact really seems to have loosened the frame around its blade or something along those lines. It's hard to tell, but that thing looks ready to fly right off and go flying into the lexan. One more hit and, lo and behold, that's exactly what it does, leaving a significant scar in the bulletproof glass and forcing a halt to the match while safety crews do a quick inspection.

With little more than a crooked frame where it once had a deadly weapon, Massospondylus lurches forward, trying to feed that into its opponent's kill zone. For what it's worth, it works quite well. That's the last we see of not one tooth, but two, as National Security ricochets off the Razor and over the exes. Every watched a lumbering deathspinner box rush? Mascarpone sure does its best impression. National Security is really struggling to spin up and even translate at this point, and the momentum from the next collision isn't enough to do much more than send it skidding gently into the drums, which toss it up and flip it over. It tries to limp away and spin up, but that thing is knackered. Mastodonosaurus makes to go after it and then... well, it just kind of dies. Both bots sit there, unable to show movement. The British machine is just straight up dead, and looks it. National Security is missing three teeth, has a warped frame, and one side panel torn clean off. It's frankly amazing that they lasted as long as they did. Smoke starts to trickle from the melty and the referees begin a countdown on both bots. But then, there's life! National Security manages something like translation outside of its radius. It smokes, it moves a bit, and then it promptly dies, but that's enough for it to beat its opponent int he count that matters.

Result: National Security wins by KO at 2:19

TSA 2.1 vs Fork Factor

Hello all and welcome to our final match of the opening round here in beautiful Melbourne, Australia! Today we have a showdown between two veteran British outfits: Ice Cubed Robotics and Team British Robotics. This is one of ARC's most famous rivalries, going back the better part of a decade, and both teas have won their share. Golly gee, I can't wait for this one. Got my $8.00 popcorn, got my $7.50 soda, got a little cushion for my butt on these rock hard bleachers... yup, ready to go. Just waiting for the teams to come in. Anytime now. Just waiting...

Alex Valentine is definitely around. I can see him leaning against a railing near the entrance way, doing something on his cellphone. As for his opponent? Nowhere to be seen. Tournament staff decide to wait an extra half-hour, but TBR still hasn't shown up, and the match is called. What a shame to see such a promising match not even happen, and Fork Factor probably had the better of this one too if its driver had bothered to show up.

TSA 2.1 wins by Forfeit

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round One Fight Card (MW & HW): Black Sun

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Jan 26, 2020 3:26 pm

First round was a doozy, wasn't it? Half of the roboteers got loaded with the Australians. Alex V rescued a dingo this time instead of attacking one, and Pat got to ride a pony. Gabe was found posing provocatively in women's clothing, surprising precisely no one, but we're still not quite sure what happened to TBR between his two fights, and we still haven't succeeded in locating him. Some say the wildfires got him. Other say it was the crocodiles, or the poisonous snakes, or the dingoes, or the possums (true story, they're vicious), or a night of binge drinking. We may find him wandering around the outback in his underwear someday. It's hard to predict the future. If we do, though, we'll be shipping him to Brazil next, since their wildfires are over now.

That's right, folks! This week sees us in the remote industrial city of Manaus, deep in the Amazon rainforest. Our Middleweights and Heavyweights will be in action for the first time, and they'll clash in the techno-futuristic temple of robotic combat known as Black Sun. Don't like it? Hey, I didn't choose it! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


Black Sun by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: Black Sun

Location: Manaus, Brazil

Layout: semicircular, with a semicircular cutout along the bottom

Size: 70 ft x 35 ft - 1767 square feet

Intended Use: LW - HW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Techno-Futuristic Inca Temple

Floor Materials: painted steel

OOTA Zone?: NO

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • Roots, Bloody Roots (7) - These branching, pneumatically powered barriers, coded to match the colours of the Inca flag, radiate from the central hub of the arena. When activated, they raise six inches from the floor and remain raised for three seconds, effectively cutting off portions of the arena. This works as follows:

    - 1) Whenever a robot scores a damaging blow, flip, or completely removes its opponent from the ground for five seconds or more, it will gain control of the set of roots closest to its starting circle. If it scores a second successful attack while in control of one set, it will gain control of the next set out from its circle. A third attack will give it control of the third set out, up to a maximum of all seven sets controlled.

    - 2) Once a robot controls a set of roots, its driver is allowed to activate them once, using a button in her control booth. After being used, that set of roots returns to being neutral and must be claimed again. Though it can be advantageous to use these hazards strategically, they do no damage, there is no expiry on using them, and they don't need to be used at all. More than one set can be activated at once as well.
  • Embrace of Darkness (1) - If a robot controls four or more sets of roots, its driver has the option to turn all of the lights out in the arena for up to ten seconds, potentially allowing him to maneuver unseen if he has a good enough idea of where his robot is.

Achievement: Sun God - Control all seven sets of roots at once.
Earned by:
Show
Team Design Flaw: Padoru Machina (CBC4 Round One)
Team Ether: Icebreaker (CBC4 Round One)
Alpha Robotics: Diablo Genesis III (CBC4 Round One)

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, February 1, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 500 words for this round (weeks one and two) and playoffs only. After this week, it will go down to 400 words, where it will remain for the rest of the regular season. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Middleweight

Heavyweight

Image

Results


Middleweight

Black Dog Division (A)

Hoarfrost IV has a bye

Unnamed & Untamed vs Lilly Frog and Jack Hammer

We have the debut of Unnamed & Untamed, which is famous for its performance back in RA2 in the Mech Madness line of tournament, where it managed to pull a Cinderella run in the first Mech Madness and did well (even though the whole tourney is AI). Now it's entered again in the third one. But for now, it's in CBC4 as MM3 hasn't statt yet.

Anyway to the actual fight. Unnamed & Untamed first starts by rushing into Lily Frog, while Jack Hammer just stays around and not doing much to act as some kind of a hazard. Both bots then meet in the center, with Lily Frog going head on. Lily Frog initially wedges Unnamed & Untamed a little, but Unnamed & Untamed immediately escapes and counters with a wedging of its own, which works.

Lily Frog is then flipped and lands hard, though it's chassis seems unaffected for now. Unnamed & Untamed however manages to rush in again and gets under again, before flipping it. This soon gets repeated for three more times. Eventually, Lily Frog gets under and tries to flip, but it's not that effective as part of the bot lifts itself, which only sends Unnamed & Untamed up less than intended.

Unnamed & Untamed immediately recovers for this, and manages to get two more flips. As the final root is controlled by Unnamed & Untamed, Lily Frog lands hard on one of its wheels, breaking it. As it spins in circle, Unnamed & Untamed easily rushes into and avoids Jack Hammer's weapon, then flips it. Jack Hammer is chain flipped until it also lost a wheel from repeatedly getting it impacted against the floor.

Winner: Unnamed & Untamed by KO (2:01)

Pressure Flop II vs Spinnerfood

The match starts with SPINNERFOOD trying to bait Pressure Flop 2 by driving in a way that will make Pressure Flop 2 misjudge the distance of its hammer against SPINNERFOOD and misfire. However, Pressure Flop 2 has anticipated this and thus keeps a watch on this.

When SPINNERFOOD think it gets an opening, it tries to rush in and then back off as Pressure Flop 2 uses its hammer. Unfortunately, it's too slow as Pressure Flop 2 hits the right side of the chassis. Immediately, SPINNERFOOD snaps in half, with the spinner being detached too. The hit is also so hard that the right wheel is snapped from the chassis too. Pressure Flop 2 then celebrates as SPINNERFOOD futilely tries to drive its somehow still functional left side.

Winner: Pressure Flop 2 by KO (00:43)

Tower of Gray vs Carapace

ToG starts out trying to get to the side of Carapace to avoid its powerful hammer...which works only somewhat. Tri manages to get under the front corners of Carapace a few times and lift with the clamp briefly, but Carapace uses its hammer to free itself before ToG can use its puncher. ToG has the better drivetrain of the two and has managed to avoid a hammerblow, so far. And Tri is able to capitalize on Carapace’s poor traction some more, which gives him control of enough root sets to use Embrace the Darnkness - whoa it’s dark in here! I can only see the power lights on either bot, but maybe the drivers have a better view from their booths? I can hear Carapace’s hammer come down a few times during this, but can’t see if it has yet to make a mark on Tower of Gray...and the lights come back on, and ToG’s still unscathed. Down to the final minute of the match and ToG is still in control. It moves in on Carapace, once again, and scoops it up in its jaws - it really wants to get in a good punch and slam Frog’s bot up against the wall...but Carapace fires its hammer and jars itself free. Now ToG has found itself cornered and Carapace lines up the hammer, WHAM ooh, that hit something and smoke starts coming out of ToG. Carapace still has it pinned and another shot before backing away. ToG starts to back up, but stops completely and the count begins. Tri desperately moves the controls, but to no avail. Looks like Carapace took out either the receiver or controller there.

Carapace wins by KO in 2:52!


Crash Blossom Division (B)

Skoll has a bye

Magnolia Grande II vs Nick Cage

Fuck IDK YS’s plan works for 2 minutes then Grande hits a swerve pod and Nic cage gets counted out fuck you two you think I’m gonna read 2 serious rps for a dream team bot?

Magnolia Grande wins by KO in 2:14

The Act of Being Polite vs V-Trigger

At the start of the match, TBR walks in with a can of silver spray paint. Nobody knows why. The buzzer buzzes. He picks up the can and the controller. He spray paints his mouth and screams "Witness me!!" V-Trigger charges forward into The Act of Being Polite. What happens it quite a rude awakening for TBR, or perhaps he'll just ride eternal on the Fury Road. Ya, box rushing with 5 speed and that weapon:armour difference was never gonna work, buddy. Probably shoulda tried flanking instead.

The Cat of Being Polite (meow) wins by KO at 0:34

Acrid vs Paradox

Fuck I thought this one was gonna be fun to write but instead Noah openly decided that he’d let himself get juggled around the arena for the first 2 minutes so I guess that’s happening instead.

No really you thought driving backwards into a vert would work? It didn’t bro. you did manage to sneak past his side a few times when you missed or he angled weird or whatever, which did lead to some decent periods of the two of you circling around while you tried to get at some treads. But the VAST majority of the time it’s just one bot repeatedly getting flipped and then running back for more, like a toddler giggling as its father repeatedly tosses it into a giant beanbag chair.

Anywho as soon as V900 actually starts angling in the match kinda turns to shit for paradox, which is not a design that appreciates anything faster than it. Or really anything slower than it with a good weapon, more on that later I’m sure. All things considered though GF keeps up valiantly enough, almost getting off another potshot as Acrid narrowly escapes the spinner while riding up the forks, kinda just getting schluffed off to the side instead. The arena doesn’t really come in to play significantly, acrid was able to mostly ignore the issues since it was driving backwards anyway and the wedge didn’t catch on the roots

Aggression: 4-1 Acrid
Damage: 3-2 Paradox
Control: 4-1 Paradox

Your winner, in a split JD, is Paradox!


Diablo Genesis Division (C)

Momma Bear has a bye

Diablo Genesis III vs Here Comes the Sun

Here comes the sun is able to jump really high, so high that Diablo Genesis III has enough time to move out of the way lol.
Basically we get a fight of the sun jumping up and the diablo backing off and then rushing in after the sun lands, allowing him to do a unimpressive flip that doesn't really do anything other that giving him a root.

This goes on for at least the first minute, so much so that somebody gets the sun god achievement, but ironically that somebody isn't the sun. I guess that the sun god and the sun itself are two separate entities.

At this point everyone is starting to get bored of the same shit so Drew decides to switch up strategies a bit and decides to try to clamp the sun when its on the floor. This backfires spectacularly as the sun can easily escape by just jumping at Diablo, flipping it in the process. Too bad there aren't any more roots to claim.

Then he stops to re think his strategy, Drew decides to press the shinny button that turns off the lights to see what happens. We can't actually see what happens in the dark, we can only hear a bunch of noises, primarily The Sun jumping and landing. Afters the lights come back we can see that pretty much nothing happened.

We are back to square one, more dodging jumps happen until the last minute where Diablo decides to try to let the Sun land on his plow, it doesn't seem to do much damage to it and he is able to immediately fire the flipper. The match then proceeds to continue with Diablo Genesis III dominating the sun like if it was a massive soccer ball or something, half of the flips made by Diablo while the other half are The Sun jumping. Towards the last seconds of the fight when the flipper fires its, flipper, we can see that its bottom panel has some holes in it. apparently some of the spikes in The Sun got in the slots of Diablo's flipper. No functional damage seems to be done.

And the timer finally rings and the match ends in a Judges’ Decision.

Judges’ Decision:

Damage: Diablo Genesis III 1, Here Comes the Sun 4
Aggression: Diablo Genesis III 2, Here Comes the Sun 3
Control: Diablo Genesis III 5, Here Comes the Sun 0

Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Diablo Genesis III!

Wolf 51-50 has also earned the achievement "Sun God"


Space Bee vs Dragonfist

We’ve got one of the strongest weapons in the Middleweight division against what’s definitely the strongest armor. Space Bee’s got a very compact design and an incredibly sturdy plow, but they’ll have to be careful of those flails. And there we go, Dragonfist’s spinning up, it’s successfully gotten clear of the wall. This arena makes box rushing a little more difficult, but that’s a nice, curved trajectory… oh, and Space Bee gets smacked aside! That’s a big hit already, and it looks like it was right on the wheel! Dragonfist’s srimech pole’s spinning around a bit again. It gets back under control, but Space Bee rams it again. Again it’s smacked aside, but the shell’s definitely been slowed down. Those were some big hits, but it doesn’t look like they’ve done much to Space Bee’s very solid rubber tires, or its wedge. And that shell’s definitely not going at its full almost 900 rpm top speed right now. Dragonfist’s on the retreat, but after those big shots Space Bee’s being a bit more cautious with getting lined up.

There we go, it catches the flails with its plow a bit better, deflecting them away, but Dragonfist is still spinning after a couple of glancing blows. Meanwhile Dragonfist has claimed the roots all the way up to the middle orange one. There’s some kind of argument in the Team Worst Swordsman control booth, something about “way more than four hits” and “flails.” There were like four visually significant hits, we’re not going to slomo mid-fight guys. But this means Dragonfist can buy itself a few seconds to spin up if it can time those roots right, or…
Oh, and the lights go out! The robots are still faintly visible by their power LEDs, and the roots Dragonfist has claimed are still lit up. However, the sudden darkness is a bit harder when you’re driving. Space Bee peels out and, uhh, yeets itself into the wall. Meanwhile Dragonfist seems to be going in circles. Is this supposed to be some sort of elaborate protest against this arena hazard? Because let me tell you there were a few complaints when this arena was unveiled. Or… ohh, Dragonfist relies on that srimech pole to show which direction it’s pointing, but that’s not lit. Are the lights different on different sides? I’m not too sure they are. It’s appears to be approaching Space Bee now, but a bit clumsily. Meanwhile Space Bee wants nothing to do with Dragonfist right now.

Aaand the lights are back! And now both drivers are dazzled. Now this is just silly. Dragonfist’s definitely at full speed now, and moving into the middle of the arena. Space Bee’s taking a more cautious approach, and as Dragonfist approaches it fades back, taking only a glancing blow. That’s not taken that much energy out of the flails though. It comes in again, it seems like they’re trying to bait Dragonfist into something – oh, maybe trying to deflect the flails upward and destablize it? There’s a bit of coining there, and it knocks itself away. Another dart in from Space Bee… ooh, but it looks like it was mis-spaced this time and Dragonfist catches the edge of the plow, spinning it around. It reverses, right into the flails and takes a massive hit! Dragonfist skids away, but it’s still spinning!
We’ve got three hits in for Dragonfist here, one more and it can hit the lights again. Space Bees looks like they want to make it count. It charges in… and both bots get flung about fifteen feet. Dragonfist clips the wall. The shell’s almost stopped… yep, there go the lights! I hear booing from the crowd. Oh, look! Somebody’s brought a sign with “FOG OF WAR” written on it in glow on the dark paint! Please tell me someone’s got that on camera, I want to know if it says something different when the lights are on! Everybody look at that sign, you can’t see shit in the arena anyway.

Oh, but there’s a crash! Looks like the drivers have adapted a bit to the darkness. No wait, that was Dragonfist clipping the wall. The problem is… man, you can see where Dragonfist’s body is, but the flails are basically invisible without the lights on. I think it’s wise for Space Bee to stay away, but DF does get another spinup for free.

So, Space Bee’s not able to get a pin in until there’s about forty-five seconds left, but it pretty much stuffs Dragonfist for the rest of the match after that, despite the lights going out one more time. It’s taken some decent hits, though: there’s some big chunks out of the wheels, and one right front axle’s seriously wobbling.

Judges’ Decision:

Damage: Dragonfist 3, Space Bee 2
Aggression: Dragonfist 2, Space Bee 3
Control: Dragonfist 2, Space Bee 3

Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Space Bee!

Pizza 2 vs Remi 4

Remi rushes out of her square, only to find Pizza doing the thing. You know the one. The Tombstone thing, the Tax Cutter thing. Starting backwards and waiting to snipe it's opponents side. Pizza begins turning... a tad too slow to get an easy 5 second win. Remi barges straight into the side of Pizza's blade, popping it up and spinning it around in the air like fresh dough ready to go in the oven.

Pizza ends up getting splattered against the wall, but only in the figurative sense- Remilia doesn't have nearly the RPM on her drum to do much more than scratch the gaudy yellow-red paint on Pizza's chassis. Doesn't seem like that's the intention here, though, since she holds pizza up to the wall. Pizza's drum futilely smacks against Remi's drum again, and again, and again, and again...

Code's sulking in the booth, frustratedly smearing his palm down the side of his face, when his eyes glance down at the control panel. He says something to the effect of "Ooh, glowy buttons!" and mashes a couple of them at the same time with his stubby little fingers. Both bots get lifted a half-foot into the air, Remi gets its wedge stuck and Pizza is busy flipping around from weapon recoil. The hazards retract, and Remi returns to it's previous strategy of "just fuckin rush 'em". Pizza's blade slaps the drum a few more times, Remi winds up atop the vines while Pizza doesn't. Remi backs up to get off of there, Pizza approaches. Uh oh. Uh oh.

(BONK)

Yup. That's a Dead Princess.

Untitled Pizza Robot wins by KO in 1:25. Here's a picture of Remilia Scarlet eating pizza. Probably would've been more fitting if the match went the other way, but oh well.

Image

Image

Heavyweight

Hellhound Division (A)

Santangelo has a bye

The No Fun Machine vs Wallop

Wallop box rushes….yeah, lol, it box-rushes right into NFM just as it reaches speed and Wallop gets punted into the wall with one front corner just gone. NFM waits a few seconds as Wallop tries desperately to show motion and barely does so, crabwalking back out towards the center of the arena. NFM decides that this is enough and quickly lands the finishing blow.

No Fun Machine wins by KO in 0:32!

Electro-Death vs FusterCluck

Two vertical spinners in the box here with secondary weaponry. Electro Death has a pair of lifting wedges flanking its drum, and Fustercluck has a clutch-powered flipping arm on the back, which it appears to be leading with actually. Meanwhile Electro-Death’s kind of sitting in its square… now coming out, slowly… oh, and guns it straight into Fustercluck! There’s a shower of sparks and Fustercluck goes skidding backwards, while Electro Death rears up and almost flips over backwards. The flipper’s gone up, but I’m not sure if it actually did anything or just fired late. Anyway, both bots are still spinning and Electro-Death’s still in the attack, getting another good hit on FC’s corner armor panel that tosses it away but not over. Oh, and another! FC goes over on its back. Now, it is mobile in that position, but to get back over, it has to frontflip over with the flipper, using up its stored KE.

Fustercluck’s on the run here, and there’s, uhh… two sets of roots lit up for Electro-Death here. There’s a third lit up by an early flip that leaves it wide open to get launched into the air by the drum. It ends up upright, retreating again… ooh, and slams into the orange root as it comes up in front of it. That’s gotta hurt. Now they’re actually back on the attack though, being a little more cautious to try and keep that flipping arm lined up. It’s looking a little torn-up by all those impacts… oh, but this time the flip’s timed correctly, and Electro-Death goes over on its back. The drum digs in, but just catapults it back. One root lights up for Fustercluck, but Electro-Death’s got the center one back… and there go the lights!
Electro-Death’s got those lifting arms to self-right it, but they aren’t particularly fast. I think Dylan was hoping to kill the lights to buy some time, but his bot’s rocking that glow-in-the-dark paint, and it looks like Fustercluck’s moving with purpose. Uh oh! There’s a big hit! Electro-Death gets tossed in the air and titanium sparks flash in the darkened arena. It crashes down… doing the thing! The weaponry can get it out of there, but it takes another shot before it can! Now it’s upright and for the first time in this match on the defensive, running away as it starts the drum up again and brings its lifters down.

The lights come back on, and we can see the damage inflicted. And it ain’t pretty: there’s a big gash in the lower right corner of Electro-Death, and another one through the back top corner. Team Ignition have to be careful against that disc or they could be in trouble. On the other hand, it doesn’t look like FC’s arm is all the way down, and the tip’s looking pretty mangled. I wouldn’t trust that against ED’s wedges. FC seems to trust it against the drum – and they shouldn’t, they get flung again! And it takes one, two, three hits basically unanswered before it’s righted. We’ve got three roots active on each side now, and some decent nicks and scrapes in the various wedges of FC.
But Fustercluck’s turned around, and rushes in with the disc facing Electro-Death. And Electro-Death takes a big hit! One of those wedgelets on Fustercluck made it underneath, and the left wedgelet of ED took a big hit. Both of them got wrenched upward, but the left one’s been torn open, and half of it’s bent upward pretty badly. ED’s on its wheels, though, and away – and immediately back in with a wedgelet shot of its own, Fustercluck gets launched inverted, and the disc hits the ground. There’s no fourth root claimed by ED though, because FC already claimed that middle one. Now, FC doesn’t have the speed to self-right I don’t think. They’re running away – but there’s a root up right underneath them, stopping them in their tracks! They’re stuck for three seconds, and meanwhile ED’s at full speed again… and immediately gets two good hits that give them the root back!

This is turning out to be a total slugfest. FC gets under the intact wedgelet and smacks the drum of Electro Death from underneath, sending it skyward again. It slams down on its side and rolls inverted, but with three roots they can’t hit the lights – oh god, and it takes a followup hit to the underbelly. It goes upside-down again, but manages to self-right in time and get away.

There’s a couple more good hits from either machine, but Fustercluck’s starting to run away with this match. Another big hit nearly tears off the damaged left wedgelet, and another blow sends it onto its back, but the lifter seems to have been disabled at some point. Without the ability to self-right, it’s curtains for the Team Ignition machine. Or is it? A root comes up under it… no, not enough to tip it upright. It’s all over!

Your winner, by knockout in 2:14, is Fustercluck!

Petaflare vs Padoru Machina

So ya, Tri goes in assuming this'll be a nice easy walk in the park. He only needs one solid bite, right? Welp, Maxi's like zoom zoom mothafucka the entire fight. The sheer number of times that Petaflare gets flipped is monumental. forty seconds into the match and weebmachina already control all seven roots. Congrats, Maxi Pad. You get an achievement. Fitting that our only South American is the first to ascend to Sun God.

Anyways, Maxi then continues to ruthlessly fuck with Petaflare, interrupting its self-righting using roots, tipping it back over halfway through self-righting using roots, generally being a huge ass. This man's a roots maestro. Then he loses a wedge battle. Then he starts backing away. Then he pops more roots and the good times continue to roll as they free him. The British bot follows in frustration, just having missed with its claw. For all of the battering it's taken it doesn't really look damaged at all.

Cue more booping and bopping. Pedal Air gets some more air. The clock winds down. This is a good time to be Maxi. Things are going great! What a dominant performance. So dominance, much great. Yeah, you can feel it coming too, can't you? With less than twenty seconds left on the clock, Padoru Machina oversteers badly trying to do a cheeky angle in and Petaflare finally gets a bite. Through two minutes and forty seconds of frustration, that claw has gradually sunk lower until it starts closing from about a centimeter above the upper plate of Deus ex Machina. It sinks in with minimal resistance and that just goes right through the Argentinian bot. Smoke immediately curls out of the wound and the drum spins down. There is no way that thing is coming loose before time runs out, but its wheels still seem to be spinning just fine. Safety crews come in after the fight to unstick the bots and it takes a tun of muscle, WD40, and a few crowbars to do the trick. Meanwhile, the judges have their hands full.

Aggression: 3-2 Padoru Machina
Damage: 4-1 Petaflare
Control: 4-1 Padoru Machina

Padoru Machina wins an 8-7 split decision

Team Design Flaw has also earned the achievement "Sun God"



Black Diamond Division (B)

Glacier III has a bye

linkinparknumb.mp3.exe vs Pink Wedge 2020

Since this is my robot's first match, it's worth noting that while I receive the -1 damage debuff from the flail, the +1 hammer buff brings this back up to 14. The actual mallet part of my hammer does 15 damage, while the flail does 14.

Yeah no i call bullshit on that last part, the mallet is not even close to the tip of the full weapon and does not have the weight of the flail behind it, there is no way it gets the full 15 damage. Maybe it gets 14 idk. Also where the fuck are your internals Noah?

Anyways we start the match with linkinparknumb.mp3.exe taking a more careful approach and only moving a little while Pink Wedge 2020 rushes out with its lifter weapon all the way back. As the driver said, use my long grabber to make him not him, wise words by Pat, i will have them framed on my wall.
Pink rushes in and inserts it's grabber arm in the middle of ĺ̵͝i̷̽͒n̷͊̈́k̵͛̾i̵̅̏n̶̜̈́p̸̈́͆a̷͛͆r̷̛̓k̷͌̓ń̷̛u̸̓̋m̶̾͠b̶͒͆.̸͊̿m̶͆̚ṕ̵̎3̴͐̽.̷̎̐e̸̚͘ẍ̸́́e̸͋̆ to block the hammer, avoiding damage, AND IT WORKS... for the half second before the flail follows trough and snaps the arm in half.
From there the fight goes downhill and Pink Wedge 2020 does more wedge things for a few seconds before getting hit two more times, then it dies completelly.

Your winner, by KO in 0:42, is linkinparknumb.mp3.exe!

Xtreme pneumatiX vs Outrage 3

The match starts with Outrage 3 trying to spin up first while Xtreme PneumatiX boxrushes it. Xtreme PneumatiX then hits the blade, which sends it spinning around with a gash, but Outrage 3 is also destabilized from this hit. Immediately, Xtreme PneumatiX capitalizes on this and goes for a flip. It keeps repeating it to control Outrage 3, while being able to consistently prevent the blade from getting into full speed every time through flips or wall rams, even with Outrage 3's strategy to force its blade to face the bot rather than the wheelpods to force a hit.

At one point, Xtreme PneumatiX is able to high center Outrage 3, but it's able to escape. Then with 30 seconds left, Outrage 3 eventually gets enough room to spin up into full speed as Xtreme PneumatiX is about to close in, and hits Xtreme PneumatiX solidly again for the second time. This sends it spinning around with an even larger gash. However, it does seem that the bar of Outrage 3 gets bent. As it tries to spin up again, sparks can be seen coming, forcing Outrage 3 to stop as Xtreme PneumatiX gets another flip in, resuming control even with a damaged flipper and wedge, eventually taking the fight to a judge's decision.

Judge's Decision:
Damage: 4-1 Outrage 3
Agression: 4-1 Xtreme PneumatiX
Control: 4-1 Xtreme PneumatiX

Winner: Xtreme PneumatiX by 9-6 decision

Fork Bomb vs KILL 'EM ALL

Who is supreme, hammer or hammersaw? Wide body vs. Long body? Two wheels or four? Tall forks vs. dustpan-ey forks? “I don’t always enter Not Death Metal, but when I do I still have an edgy color scheme” vs. “I accidentally hit ‘Desaturate’ on my signup image and hit save”?

Anyway, Fork Bomb’s spinning up, and Kill Em All’s coming out, and both bots are going right for each other! No wait, Fork Bomb jukes away, and Kill Em All jumps the gun a tiny bit with the hammer blow, hitting possibly the forks but nothing important. Fork Bomb tries to get around its corner, but KEA backs off and cocks the weapon back again. Fork Bomb’s now chasing it, trying to come around the other side – no, back to the left side again! Tricky! KEA reacts in time though and lunges in. There’s contact, but it looks like the hammer’s head hit behind Fork Bomb’s chassis. They’ve got it wedged though – but backs off again! And Fork Bomb smacks the floor with its disc!

That was certainly loud, and there’s probably a hole in the floor now, but the weapon’s stopped and that’s Kill Em All’s chance! Or is it? Fork Bomb’s running away, parking behind a root, and uhh, y’all may have missed the memo but you have to actually HIT each other before you can use those. It looks like the blade is now spinning again, not sure how quickly, and here comes Kill Em All. They meet head-on again. KEA fires first, and… that looks like another shaft hit. Okay new rule, if neither robot has hit the other when the match clock is at 2:00 I’m turning the lights off and leaving them off so the audience doesn’t have to watch you embarrass yourselves.
Fortunately Fork Bomb drops the hammersaw, and finally makes contact. Ooh! There’s a big gash in the top/side of the right fork, and it looks loose on its hinge as KEA retreats again. Fork Bomb keeps after it, getting under the corner this time, but the blade’s still spinning back up, and KEA’s away – still retreating, still being chased – oh but there’s a big, meaty hit right on Fork Bomb’s right-side top panel! That’s put a big dent in the armor, and it looks like may have torn a hole through it! Kill Em All’s finally able to get some breathing room as Fork Bomb veers off, and… veers…

Okay, it looks like Fork Bomb may be having some drivetrain problems after that hit. Yeah, they’re crabbing around, although they’re getting a bit of wheel lift now that the disc’s up to full speed again. It’s now pointing its rear end at KEA, and that makes it fairly potent and dangerous as a vertical spinner in its own right. KEA’s being a bit more careful now, trying to find the optimal distance, but Fork Bomb’s swiveling around all over the place and making it tricky for them – ooh, another miss, and it almost fires its hammer into Fork Bomb’s disc! But was also close to hitting the belt, so, tradeoffs. Fork Bomb tries to swerve into it, but just boops one of the forks sideways with its arm. And again it’s hit and run from KEA even if the “hit” part involves the floor more often than fork bomb, but it now doesn’t have to run that far. Again there’s a cautious, methodical attack! Uh oh, and the hammer whips down right on the arm! There’s a huge burst of sparks, and KEA’s smacked away, its hammer arm jiggling like a gummy worm! It doesn’t retract all the way, and there’s a big bite taken out of the arm, but Fork Bomb isn’t spinning and I see a belt on the floor!
At this point… honestly it’s just a waiting game. KEA’s now free to rain down hit after hit on Fork Bomb, putting a few more dents in the top panel and it looks like caving in the weapon motor before it taps out.

Your winner, by knockout in 2:04, is Kill Em All!


Broken Ghost Division (C)

Defenestrator has a bye

Dreadnought Mk.4 vs Tabor Mark 4

Both bots kick off approaching, both working on angling in properly. Dreadnought tries to sneak around the edge of the scoop, but gets caught out by Rocket. Tabor gets under and begins to lift, but GF's prepared, and Dreadnought is able to dodge away in the nick of time, a quick back-and-forward getting through and under the main chassis of Tabor! One hoist later, and Tabor's rolling around the arena on its side. GF takes advantage of the momentum, shunting and rolling the bot, pinning it in Dreadnought's starting corner, and gathering a smattering of roots of its own in the process. Meanwhile, Tabor's corner-flailing seems to be in an attempt to breach the arena walls, the sharp top-wedgelets of the lifter raking streaks across the clear plastic as it attempts to self-right. Expect a bill in the mail for the new panels, Rocket!

In the final minute of the fight, with a bit of luck, Tabor's back on its wheels despite the pressure, and hauls ass to escape from Dreadnought. Once again, the bots return to a neutral spot, battling for wedge supremacy once more. Tabor wins out again, this time getting the flip in- And the lights cut out! All that can be heard is the sound of venting gas, and Dreadnought is back on its wheels by the time the lights come on, just off to the side of Tabor. Rocket's able to pivot, though, quickly recalculating, wedging and rolling Dreadnought over, chaining pushes and flips in the same manner as Dreadnought had done to it a couple of minutes ago. The buzzer sounds to end the match, with Dreadnought just barely away from the corner of the arena, Tabor still trying to box it in further, four roots to three on the floor. If GF had spent their other roots before getting rushed, both teams would have claimed the achievement, but that's irrelevant now...

Damage: 3-2 Dreadnought
Control: 3-2 Dreadnought
Aggression: 4-1 Dreadnought

Your winner, by a 10-5 decision, is Dreadnought!

Ice Cubed Robotics has earned the achievement "Sun God"


Swamp Thing vs Killer Queen

Y'know, for a bot called "KILLER" Queen, 7 weapon is sure some lackluster KO potential. Especially considering the ability of its namesake, but hey whatever I guess.

I'm also making the executive decision to not count this as a toothed wedge, because those shits stick out maybe like 5mm at most from the rest of the wedge.

In any case: both bots move in, Code vows to "play aggressively", yet immediately makes a beeline for the curved arena walls to camp. Yes. Meanwhile Killer Queen comes in and chucks Swamp thing up against a wall, with Hide doing this obnoxiously cringey JoJo pose in celebration. I can smell the body odor from here, jesus christ. Not a whole ton happens during the first minute-ish anyway, so let's fast forward before barf bags are needed.

Swamp Thing continues to ram head-on and it mostly works, but Killer Queen is quick to adapt. It begins getting under more often over the latter half of the match, to the point where Swamp Thing can't keep up, even with it's marginally more nimble drive. A few more chucks around the arena seals the deal, and Hide decides to sprout up this match's first set of roots in celebration.

AGG: 3-2 Killer Queen
DMG: 3-2 Killer Queen
CTL: 4-1 Killer Queen
Killer Queen wins by a 10-5 judge's decision.

Icebreaker vs Long Arm of the Law

Icebreaker hangs back whilst Long Arm hauls ass out of its starting corners, the two bots soon colliding head-on. Icebreaker wins the initial wedge battle, scooping under and throwing Long Arm sky-high, snatching it up as it lands with a second toss. Long Arm lands a bit further away, as Superbomb deftly moves their hand from the controller to slap the illuminated arena controls, beaching the rozzer on a Root, leaving it a prime target for another flipping. It takes literally a full minute of chain-flips before Nighthawk is able to even try to control his machine for more than three seconds, as Superbomb locks out more and more of the field. Long Arm manages to back off enough to regain a bit of control, but movement is limited, thanks to Icebreaker controlling every Root and Superbomb apparently having the reaction time of a star-nosed mole, quickly leading to Long Arm getting beached and thrown once more. Nighthawk's back in the driver's seat quicker this time, though, managing to actually out-wedge Icebreaker, shoving it backwards and beginning to lift, but a swift J-hook leaves Icebreaker at Long Arm's side, getting it swiftly flipped over once more, throwing it into the centre of the arena as the buzzer goes.

Aggression: 5-0 Icebreaker
Damage: 3-2 Icebreaker
Control: 4-1 Icebreaker

Your winner, by 12-3 decision, is Icebreaker!

Superbomb has also earned the achievement "Sun God"


Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Two Fight Card (FW & LW): Gothiq

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Feb 02, 2020 1:32 am

With our week in Brazil at an end, some ARC members couldn't wait to get out, while others had to be dragged away, kicking and screaming. On two separate occasions, [REDACTED] legitimately considered getting butt implants. Alex V decided to go for a refreshing swim in the Amazon river and had to fight off about a hundred piranhas. Have you ever seen a rather large, chatty Englishman uppercut multiple carnivorous fish, all while cursing and swearing up a storm and dropping occasional witty ripostes as if he were in an action movie? I didn't know that I needed that in my life before, but now I do. He wasn't the only one to have an unexpected adventure, however. Dylan became semi-lost in the jungle after trying to take a shortcut at GOTTA GO FAST speeds during an ATV race with some locals. Fortunately, he found Drew there, poisoned by something, and hauled him back. Jack was similarly located, perched stalk-still on a tree branch, wearing poisonously bright-coloured clothes. We think it was just something that came naturally to him. In any case, he tried to jump away suddenly when Dylan closed in, but our resident master of all things fast and sleek duly caught him in midair and hauled his ass back. Jack wasn't the only one getting back to his Roots, however. When some locals heard DJ's name, they kind of just pulled him into a club and made him DJ for them. Judging by the fact that he didn't return until 6:00 AM, absolutely loaded and with what appeared to be a fresh tramp stamp, it couldn't have gone that badly. As for Maxi, he mostly just got dragged into playing a half-dozen street soccer games because some Brazilians wanted to beat him because regional rivalries. Speaking of highly competitive Brazilians, Team Minotaur popped in and pretty much told us how to do everything. Oh, and Pat got a copy of that 'How to Build a Combat Robot' book that Marco wrote. Long overdue.

Also long overdue is our trip to France! That's right, the land of Eiffel towers, baguettes, and irreverent Europeans. Speaking of which, we'll get to say hello to our very own - oh wait, that's right, Bastien quit again. Eh, he'll be back. Anyways, this week sees our featherweight and lightweight machines fighting in Caen, France in the gorgeous converted church floor known as Gothiq. Also, the first person to RP for a fight gets to choose an organ transcription of their liking and it will play live on the fully functional pipe organ located on the arena's balcony section? Think it's dumb and gimmicky? Don't like it? Hey, I didn't choose it! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


Gothiq by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: Gothiq

Location: Caen, France

Layout: Rectangular

Size: 32 ft x 52 ft - 1664 square feet

Intended Use: FW-MW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Gothic-style church

Floor Materials: Stone Tiles

OOTA Zone?: NO

House Robots: This arena sometimes features two house robots which patrol the red zones along the flanks of the arena. However, they will not be active unless specified by the tournament director.

Hazards and Features:
  • Gargoyles (2) - These are heavy stone statues mounted on vertical tracks that run along the arena's support pillars, slamming down onto robots that drive underneath them, dealing moderate to heavy damage. They have powerful electromagnets in their feet, allowing them to pick up some robots, lift, and then release them to deal additional light to moderate falling damage.
  • The Pipe Organ (2) - Mounted on an upper balcony, it constantly plays Night on Bald Mountain by Modest Mussorgsky or another organ transcription chosen by the starter of the RP thread. Whenever a robot drives over the red spot beneath the organ, it will strike a discordant note and fire an enormous pneumatic spike through a hole in the balcony floor at the unfortunate competitor, dealing moderate to heavy damage.

Achievement: True Believer - win after being hit by each of the four hazards in a single fight.

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, February 8, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is now 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Image

Results


Featherweight

Firebird Division (A)

Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2 has a bye

NRG 2 vs I Can't Believe it's not Tanto

Ethan is the first to reach the arena and uses his privilege to chose a song. Ethan then hands the musician the music sheets for In A Gadda Da Vida by "I.Ron Butterfly" and he gladly takes it, little did they suspect...

Anyways the fight starts with both bots charging at each other, well, while Tanto very much was charging forwards, NRG was more like "charging" forwards. 3 seconds later they make contact and the spinner hits the wedge in Tanto, which now i realize isn't an accurate description considering Tanto is all wedge. Anyways hit happens and NRG goes into the air and then lands, immediately after Tanto is already there and the same thing happens.
If you didn't realize it yet this is how pretty much the entire fight goes, overwhelming dominance by Team Riptide. NRG does get hit by the hazards a few times, at one point it got hit by the organ hazard while it was airborne! Also no real damage was shown anywhere.
We might as well fast forward until the 3 minute mark where the fight gets called to the judges, but the music is still playing. A few part of the staff tried to tell the musician to stop but that isn't going to stop 'em, real commitment going on there.

Judges’ Decision:

Damage: NRG 2 0, I Can't Believe it's not Tanto 5
Aggression: NRG 2 0, I Can't Believe it's not Tanto 5
Control: NRG 2 0, I Can't Believe it's not Tanto 5

Your winner, by an 15-0 Judges’ Decision, is I Can't Believe it's not Tanto! (FF)

Gabrial vs Vindicator

Since nobody picked a goddamn song (1 job guys), the judges deemed it fitting to have the organist play Rappin For Jesus as punishment. Anyways this fight should be interesting. And by interesting, I mean a cluster. In the red square we have Gabrial- Patbot, nuff said. In the blue square is vindicator- the sleek sports car with paper armor to boot. The lights are on, the organist is... organing? and its robot fighting time! Vindicator immediately accelerates to warp speed and charges Gabrial. But just before it gets there, it stops. Pat fires the hammer and oh god oh no he missed. Pity. This is all the opportunity Vindicator needed to scoop it up and take it for one last ride to Valhalla. But instead of YSM screaming WITNESS ME, it is the organist. I guess you should never make someone play rappin for jesus against their will, because he decides to jump from his perch straight into the path of both bots. Both gabrial and poor Richard are slammed into the wall at god knows how fast, the impact killing the latter immediately. But this is robots so we're more worried about gabrial. It seems the impact has snapped a wheel in half! It's hobbling, this is not looking good! Vindicator lines up one more shot, gets the runup, and SMASH! The other wheel is shattered. Congratulations Vindicator, and what the fuck Richard.

Your winner, by double homicide in 0:47, is Vindicator!

Black Dog vs Puffy Cloud

Both bots start the match with a "lol just rush the other guy xD" strategy, which results in Puffy Cloud soundly sliding under Black Dog. If Puffy Cloud's able to deal some damage quickly, this may be a swift upset!

(checks statline)

Puffy Cloud is not able to deal some damage quickly.

It's, uh, also not really able to push Black Dog all that much before it escapes. The drum revs back into action, drives up the triple prongs and ineffectively slaps against Puffy Cloud's inexplicably durable wedge a few times before backing off again.

Black Dog eventually catches one of the forks from underneath and bends it upward. Code gets ready to change strategies, but the other two forks go soon after. Laz does an obnoxious crotch grab, sticks his tongue out, and flips the bird before bopping the underside of Puffy Cloud's chassis a couple times for the knockout. The last tick of the countout syncs up with OYYY WOP IT OUT playing on the organ.

Black Dog wins by KO in 0:53.


Vorpal Bunny Division (B)

Irritant has a bye

Gas Gas Gas vs Untitled Goose Robot

The match first starts with Untitled Goose Robot staying at the center of the arena after immediately accelerating into full speed while Gas Gas Gas rushes in into it while taking some time to go into full speed, then immediately tries to circle it. However, UGR expects this and immediately tries to clamp Gas Gas Gas as it attempts to get under the side, successfully catching it.

UGR then tries to push Gas Gas Gas into the Gargoyles, but Gas Gas Gas manages to use its speed to J-hook and escape. It then immediately retaliates by angling in on UGR at the right time, getting underneath it. Gas Gas Gas then tries to push UGR while lifting it, successfully getting it hit by the Gargoyles instead, but it doesn't do much to UGR.

UGR then manages to get under and control Gas Gas Gas again, pushing it to one of the red spots while Gas Gas Gas struggles to escape this time. Gas Gas Gas is soon able to get away, but not before the spike hits it on the lifter, lifting it and allowing UGR to take control again. It then manages to get it on the Gargoyles, which slams on top of the lifter mount, disabling the whole weapon.

The match then goes downhill for Gas Gas Gas as UGR keeps pushing and clamping it around, with Gas Gas Gas ocassionaly escaping only to be controlled again while ocassionaly taken to the hazards, which Gas Gas Gas manages to narrowly escape. It soon goes in favor of Gas Gas Gas again when it manages to get under and control UGR on the hazards three times, even getting one of the wheels hit on one, though it doesn't jam the drive much.

As the match is closing down, UGR manages to get a clamp, and proceeds to push Gas Gas Gas, which again struggles to escape, into another red spot, where it gets the center of the chassis spiked and pierced. As Gas Gas Gas struggles to move with smoke starting to pour our, UGR clamps it again and pushes it into the Gargoyles until the buzzer sounds before it can fall.

Judge's Decision:
Damage: 4-1 Untitled Goose Robot
Agression: 3-2 Untitled Goose Robot
Control: 3-2 Untitled Goose Robot

Winner: Untitled Goose Robot by 10-5 Judge's Decision

Mass Destruction vs Wasp 2

Ever watched a fast brick with a sturdy plow pull off a flawless box rush and proceed to utterly dominate a shakily-designed spinner for three minutes straight? Mass Destruction's weapon is dead and one side of its drive doesn't seem quite right by the end of this fight. Wasp's plow is... scratched. Truly, Hellhound would be proud. You done good, kid. You done good.

Aggression: 5-0 Wasp 2
Damage: 5-0 Wasp 2
Control: 5-0 Wasp 2

Wasp 2 wins by 15-0 unanimous decision (FF)

Ori vs Chinesium II

Chinesium II first starts sideway and reverses near the corner of the Arena, while Ori goes full speed as Chinesium II expects, and then it starts slowing down as it approaches Chinesium II. When it gets near however, Ori proceeds to ram into the blade, throwing Chinesium II into the wall, which deflects it, while Ori isn't thrown much, but some of the UMHW is torn off.

Immediately, Ori goes on the aggressive, ramming Chinesium II around to stop its blade and getting under to high center it, while trying to force the blade to touch the floor to prevent it from spinning. On the other hand, Chinesium II tries to keep spinning up and tear the UMHW shield, and it finally gets a breathing room to do so when it hits the side with enough speed to tear one part of it while throwing Ori away. However, it immediately rushes back in and uses the surviving shield to tank another hit. It works with the shield not being destroyed yet.

Eventually, Ori manages to gain the upper hand, getting under Chinesium II and leading it to the hazards, which ends up slowing down Chinesium's bar for the rest of the match. Ori also keeps stopping it and occasionally flipping every time the bar is stopped completely to make Chinesium II hit the floor or the walls.

And then, with 15 seconds to go, Chinesium II manages to spin up enough again and connect a solid hit to the part where the armor has been destroyed, which proceeds to destroy that front of Ori and bend the flipper. As Ori is limping from the shock, Chinesium II comes in for another hit, but Ori is able to turn enough and use the other armor to tank the hit again, which is then destroyed, but it works. The timer soon ends as Ori tries to approach Chinesium II slowly due to the damaged drive.

Judge's Decision:
Damage: 4-1 Chinesium II
Agression: 3-2 Ori
Control: 4-1 Ori

Winner: Ori by 8-7 Judge's Decision


Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)

Taipan has a bye

Lil' Yeetums vs CIRCUITZ

Jules’ rp might have been good in most circumstances, but joke’s on her I know exactly how you win this match I’ve had it like 6 times. I also know I lose more in it than most people since it’s usually in finals against her brother. Anywho I tend to lose these so I hope that doesn’t affect my decision making progress lets goooooooooooo
Actually really what Im gonna do is roll some D20s like a nerd brb.

Alrighty yall we got a match. Things start off with the trademark YEET into gliding sidestep across the battlefield for CIRCUITZ as the match gets underway. Lil’ Yeetums is defensive, but the Big C finds and opening and gets in a flip. Lil’ Yeetums uses low power mode (as mentioned in attackfrog’s signup!) to get back up on its wheels quickly, but it’s ass first to circuitz and gets bullied about for a bit, scoring another flip in the process. No hazard time out of it thought, and they reset.

Takes Circuitz a bit longer to find an opening this time, Frog starting to figure out some of her twists and turns. But still, she does eventually get all the way to the side of her opponent. unfortunately she gives him a perfect 180, so he’s out and free without much harassment –but quickly leaves another opening. I feel the need to remind our viewers that Lil’ Yeetums’ driver came into this fight expecting to be in the disadvantage most of the time – he knows that against a bot as lightly armored as CIRCUITZ, his powerful flipper is functionally a KO weapon.

The Question becomes can Jack hold on to his wits and not get frustrated as he loses again and again. Bad turns to worse for him as circuitz manages to bully him under one of the gargoyles it slams down, and then lifts him all the way back up to the top, where he dangles a bit before we release our electromagnet’s charge and let him fall back to the ground. Lil’ Yeetums continues to be harassed, bullied, and just generally prevented from having any sort of good time before eating another 2 flips and being set free.

They face off. Things are tense – we’re 2 minutes in, and the Circuitz zerg rush has finally started to cool off. They both know it’s the final stretch, and you can see frog actively calming down as he’s given space to think. Circuitz darts in… retreats. Circles around… darts in – Yeetums dodges with a clever j-hook that gives him a counterattack of his own. Circuitz easily spins out of the way and launches another assault on the left flank of Lil’ Yeetums that leave frog running for cover. Circuitz loses control for a moment as Yeetums takes a turn, which brings us back to a full neutral, and they face off again. This time Jack tries for more active counter-aggression, moving in as Circuitz attempts the flank, narrowly missing her back corner again, but each time getting front facing forwards before CIRCUITZ can swing itself back around – this happens thrice before Jules - circuitz faked him out! It wasn’t much there but you could see Jack start to drive in at her side again to get the counter-charge, stop, and try to fix direction, but it was too late, and time expires with Lil’ Yeetums getting bullied into a corner. Not at all the result that the folks over at Aquatic Robotics were looking for, but one that Jules is certainly satisfied with.

Aggression: 4-1 CIRCUITZ
Damage: 3-2 CIRCUITZ
Control: 4-1 CIRCUITZ
Your winner, in an 11-4 decision, is CIRCUITZ!

Mimi-Chan vs Finishing Move

Mimi-Chan rips forward at the start of the match, pretty much tearing an interdimensional hole in spacetime with its speed. Thing is, Finishing Move is pretty quick too, don't ya know it. Alex's reflexes... not so much, but it's just good enough for the Monsterworks bot to strafe out of the way in the nick of time before Mimi-Chan detonates... against the arena wall, nearly causing an arena breach. Fatality! Just, not in the audience, thank God.

Finishing Move wins by KO at 0:15

Black Salvo vs Nikkousen

ngl Badnik it kinda feels like you picked a random song out of your "music I like" playlist for this fight, but it's a good track so w/e who cares lol

But yeah a lot of this match is just "Hiryu gets yote into a wall and Soryu has to come bail it out". None of the hazards in this arena are particularly dangerous either, so the few scuffles that happen in those parts of the arena are largely uneventful and only really for JD brownie points.

On the whole, though, Black Salvo's able to focus-fire one part of the multibot while the other half flicks BS's ass a foot off the ground repeatedly. Enter boring bots, get a boring result.

AGG: 3-2 Black Salvo
DMG: "no" lol get it because they didn't do any damage to each oth3-2 nikkosen
CTL: 3-2 Black Salvo

Black Salvo wins by an 8-7 judge's decision.

Image

Lightweight

Elrathia Division (A)

King Crimson has a bye

Eagle's Hawk vs Scrapper

Eagle’s hawk starts out trying to catch Scrapper gyro-ing and take advantage, but it just does not quite have the speed & maneuverability advantage to do that. Instead, Scrapper meets EH drum-to-disk. At first, not much happens and the two bots only send each other back a foot or so. EH tries to get Scrapper to gyro and get under; this time it does. Scrapper bounces a few times, but recovers with some damage to its underside. Billy chases after Scrapper, but a little too earnestly and overcorrects a turn, which Tri counters. Scrapper gets it’s forks under EH and the huge drum sends the Team Eagle bot flying! Eagle’s Hawk is airborne for an impressive amount of time and comes crashing down in a crumpled mess; it’s front wedge is torn off and laying by the wall, but it’s still mobile!

Meanwhile, Scrapper is over by the organ end of the arena after recovering from the recoil of the impact, but it looks fine. Billy isn’t about to give up, yet, and drives Eagle’s Hawk towards Scrapper, despite missing his front armor. Hey, what’s he got to lose? EH tries to draw Scrapper over to one of the organ hazards. Tri fakes moving towards the hazard before gyro-ing away. EH tries to go in and catch Scrapper during this, but the earlier damage to EH is affecting its mobility and it can’t quite capitalize. Meanwhile, Scrapper gyros back around and catches the front of EH fully...OH MY!!! Pieces of Eagle’s Hawk go flying upward and into the low ceiling where the organ is. The musician playing the organ dives for cover in a corner...did pieces actually...go through the floor?! The refs are yelling to stop the match as Scrapper’s drum slows and the dust and smoke begin to clear. WOW, there are actually a few holes in the floor near the organ - someone please check on the musician! I don’t think this has ever happened in this arena in CBC history...uhh, the musician is shaken and covered in dust, but he’s OK, whew. Obviously, this is going to take some time to repair before the next fight.

Oh right, the match...yeah, seeing as Eagle’s Hawk is literally in pieces strewn about the arena, we will award Scrapper with the KO in 2:02!

25 or 6 to 4 vs Apeirogon

Vert gets under flipper portion of Warrior clone. Vert mangles flipper in a couple of hits thanks to a couple of driving errors from Drew. Vert eats a hit from 25 or 6 to 4, recovers somewhat, and then flips 25 or 6 to... 4... 3... 2... 1... "That's a knockout!" With the flipper gone, it has no way to self-right and promptly gets counted out.

Apeirogon wins by KO (FF) at 1:38

Magnolia Pico vs Bluetooth

MP comes out to meet BT’s blade with its large flipper/plow. BT tries to use some Tombstone-esque tactics to get around the side of the plow and at the fragile walker mechanism of MP, but it lacks both the speed and reach to do so. Meanwhile, MP takes some scratches on the plow and yeah, Bluetooth is able to ride up the sloped wedge a few times and destroys the ornamental skull atop the flipper, but it also leaves BT in a very precarious position. WHAM, the massive flipper fires on Magnolia Pico and sends Bluetooth...just inches from hitting the ceiling. No, not the floor of the organ, but the actual ceiling! Wow, that’s impressive. MP just waits as BT crashes back to Earth and that frame is noticeably warped. Fortunately for Jack, BT has landed inverted and is now acting as an overcutter, because that blade would not be able to function in its normal state, for sure. BT doesn’t look like it’s driving too well, either, but it manages. It tries to get over to one of the Gargoyles to draw MP under the hazard, but Alex isn’t buying it, instead waiting patiently towards the organ. BT eventually heads over towards it and the two meet head-on again. BT manages to veer away just as MP fires its flipper again, then slices back and tries to attack some of the support structure of MP. MP backs away to allow the flipper to reset, but BT does get a chunk of the covering that protects the legs, but is spent gyro-ing away upon impact. And, oh no, it’s gyroed over to it’s more stable position being an undercutter. However, the warped frame is preventing its weapon from spinning up! MP comes in and starts pushing BT over towards the organ and, oh no, don’t do it, don’t do it!

WHAM

Bluetooth sails upwards, and into the left side of the organ. The musician (once again) dives for cover as pieces of bot and stone rain down onto the floor below. This is getting ridiculous now. The musician is cursing up a storm now and I think he’s refusing to play any more music for the duration of this event. I really think that the TO needs to look at enclosing that balcony in lexan for the future.

Oh yeah, Magnolia Pico wins by KO in 1:39!


Blood Eagle Division (B)

Voltaic has a bye

Trilobite vs Golden MADD 2


Cassie was nice enough to leave a link to the video of the song, and it seems to actually be an organ song. Oh wait lol, this is amazing.

Anyways on the other side we have Golden MADD 2, which brought its single tooth shell that i just found out it exists, interesting choice. The fight starts exactly like you would expect it to, GM strafing to the side to gain a bit more time while Trilobite does the box rush thingy.

~3 seconds later we Trilobite gets in range and hits the not-quite-up-to-full-speed spinner with its face aaaaand we get already get a big hit! One of the forks in front of Trilobite gets torn off and makes a good split in the chasis with it, the entire part under the left eye is now facing sideways at around 50°.

Rinzler knows that his opponent (if it still works) will be back almost immediately so now he decides to do this weird trick of using his drivetrain to spin the entire bot to increase spin up speed? idk it somehow kind of almost does something i guess but it's not clear whether or not it actually helped. Anyways it was a good idea to try to spin up ASAP because Trilobite seems to somehow still be fully functional and is back for more.

If you are actually keeping track of what is going on you may realize that last part implies we are about to get a big hit. Well you are in luck because that is exactly what happens next . MADD hits whatever Trilobite is right in the mouth and both bots get sent flying away. GM is still next to the wall he started next to and bounces off it while the wedgebot just slides to the middle of the arena or something.

DJ does the useless spin up thing again because of course he does, even though idk Trilobite seems kinda dead to me, idk just saying... oh wait no its back. Wait WHAT!

Rocket and her bot have a lot of determination today as she rockets straight into Golden MADD, what could possibly go wrong? Well the thing that inevitably happened is a hit, but this one was one off those really big and painful hits and Trilobite ends up with its entire chasis split in half! well... technically is more of a 60/40 split instead of the 50/50 it would be if it was split right in half, but you get the idea. The tail with its mount is still attached to the bigger half but the now outer side of the mount is bent outwards rather badly. Yes this also means that the wheels in the now smaller side got torn off completely with motor included. Also we got batteries in the floor because of course we have.

The official Cherry Bomb Classic 4 staff decides to stop the fight because of the safety hazard that the batteries represent, also because it would be hard to clean up the arena if something where to happen to them. This obviously gets counted as a KO as Trilobite is far too damaged at this point.

Your winner, by KO in 0:32, is Golden MADD 2!

Wheelosaurus vs Boring Gray Wedge

BGW starts off the fight with a quick rush whilst Wheelo moves out of its box, and quickly slips under the sawbot, sticking it into the wall. After sliding it along to reposition a bit, BGW slips Wheelo underneath the organ, the first strike piercing deep into its shell, just behind the wedge. Reversing free for a moment, Wheelo tries to get under BGW again, but gets stiffed once more, thrown under the organ spike on the other half of the arena. This one strikes truer, seemingly, as Pat's having trouble moving cleanly, the left wheel remaining still. Sliding away enough to not get struck immediately again, Pat attempts to angle Wheelo on BGW's approach, and actually manages to sneak under, but Code's able to capitalize, reversing off and escaping, only losing a few sparks as the saw drops down on the front wedge. BGW approaches once more, shunting the stricken bot back under the spike, where the third strike impales the bot, actually catching enough to lift its chassis up about a foot off of the floor before dislodging, though Wheelo doesn't seem able to move again, and is summarily counted out.

Boring Grey Wedge wins by KO in 1:01.

Blood Eagle vs Broken Tooth

Broken Tooth spins up, but it doesn’t seem to be all that interesting in closing the distance with Blood Eagle. BE easily gets that huge blade up to full speed and moves out – oh, and Blood Eagle’s noticed the hesitancy here and is moving very aggressively. Usually you see those big spinners drive pretty passively because they know their opponent has to either challenge that weapon or take a risk trying to get around it, but Blood Eagle’s driving like Laz bet his brother fifty Canadian Monopoly Dollars he can get the knockout in under thirty seconds. It’s the slower bot here, only nine miles an hour top speed, but that sounds slow until you see a bot actually use it.

Meanwhile, Broken Tooth’s trying to circle around to the side of Blood Eagle, but it can’t seem to make the turn tightly enough, and is having to stay a bit farther away to avoid exposing its side to that very long blade. Now it comes in, but it’s not far enough off to get to BE’s wheels, and – huge hit! Both bots are sent reeling. Blood Eagle’s weapon skips off the floor a couple times, but it does get back under control – JUST in time! It came very close to taking a hit on the wheel there, but makes contact with the bar again.
It’s another hard knock for both bots. Blood Eagle sails through the air and hits the floor hard. Broken Tooth’s got a big gash through the left wedglet, and the steel’s been curled upward. It looks like that’s barely hanging on. It rushes in, trying to capitalize on the hit. BE’s on the run now, trying to get the weapon spinning again – ooh, but it takes a glancing blow on the rear end as it tries to escape. It clips the floor again and spirals up into the gyrodance of death – ooh, and takes a hit from underneath, but that is the side that has a giant spinning bar. Blood Eagle takes the worst of it in terms of getting punted, but it seems to be still working, still spinning… but upside-down now! Broken Tooth is not letting up at all, but gets smacked aside like a toy, and Blood Eagle’s out of the corner and rapidly getting back up to full speed.

Now with BE inverted, Broken Tooth has more of a shot at uppercutting the bar and maybe destabilizing it, but it has to be careful to line up the hit. Oh, but Blood Eagle doesn’t give it time to be careful: Laz just rushes in and delivers a gigantic hit! Broken Tooth’s flung aside into the wall and ramps up the slope. Its disc looks like it’s stopped! The weapon frame looks crooked, and Broken Tooth appears to be hung up on the wall. Luckily the arm’s still working, but in the few seconds it takes to jostle itself free, Blood Eagle’s gotten to spin up pretty much for free. Uh oh, and Broken Tooth only seems to be moving on one side. This could be bad!
Good grief, and it is! The disc’s completely come off, leaving only the mangled remnants of the arm. And Blood Eagle still wants more, tearing off the left wedgelet and decapitating more of the weapon support frame. Gabe’s turned off his transmitter over in the control booth and shrugged. Looks like this one’s over.

Your winner, by knockout in 1:47, is Blood Eagle!


The Debilitator Division (C)

Fork Factor has a bye

National Security vs TSA 2.1

We’ve got a battle of old vs new here with TSA 2.1, which hasn’t fought in what, at least five years? Against National Security, which is fighting for the first time here at Cherry Bomb Classic. TSA’s already got a win under its belt, but National Security hits HARD, and nearly ripped Mastodonosaurus in half last round. It took some serious damage in the process though, let me tell you, the Pentagon hasn’t looked that bad since 9/11 – oh come on, it was almost twenty years ago, I -

WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE FAULT IN THE COMMENTARY. THOSE RESPONSIBLE HAVE BEEN SACKED/SPOKEN TO SEVERELY.

Uhh… sorry about that, let’s just redo the intros, shall we? TSA hasn’t fought for a while, seems to be in good shape though. National Security took major damage in its fight against Mastondonasaurus, but it seems to have been mostly repaired. This match could be crucial for either team’s playoff hopes because this isn’t an easy group, but let’s be honest, all I really care about is seeing the Pipe Organ spike go through the big hole in the middle of National Security and get it stuck like a carnival ring toss game. Are you listening Ice Cubed Robotics, make it happen!

Anyway National Security’s very quick of the spinup, might have jumped the gun a teensy bit but I think TSA was leaving its square before the buzzer too and the refs haven’t said anything. It’s drifting out of its square, and there’s… some weird shit playing on the organ. I don’t even know who chose this. TSA tries to rush, but pumps the brakes as Natsec gets up to full speed, and approaches a bit more cautiously… OOH! Huge hit! Natsec goes flying into the wall and ricochets off. TSA gets spun around a couple times too, and the skirt’s gone from the right side of the wedge.

TSA’s still on the attack, though, chasing down National Security and ramming it again. And this time the melty gets popped up in the air off that reinforced flipper tip. Those are some impressive sparks, though. Ouch, and another nasty hit sending it into the wall again! He’s put a couple holes in TSA’s wedge though, and TSA has yet to stop it spinning. Note also the sparks and concrete dust as Natsec keeps grazing uneven spots in the floor panels. TSA circles the much slower melty and rushes in again – oh, and takes a gigantic hit! The flipper fires as it’s spun around by the force of the blow, but I think the impact just knocked the valve open because Alex V is many things but a suicidal idiot isn’t one of them.

Meanwhile National Security is flung into the slope wall, ricochets up into the air, still spinning, and smashes into the corner of the pillars, which yeets it clear across the arena in the other direction. This finally brings its spin to a stop – and one of the teeth has been ripped off! Yikes! TSA’s lost the reinforce tip from its flipper, though, and the right side of the bot looks pretty mangled. And Natsec is already spinning back up, but it doesn’t look like it’s going as fast now, and the directional lights are wobbling a bit. Is it able to translate efficiently? It’s moving a bit.

TSA seems to have recognized the danger in just giving the bot that’s spinning literally its entire weight a lot of bite, and nudges it a bit more gently. Boop! And away towards the corner it goes, with TSA following. Boop! Ooh, and it bounces off TSA, ramps off the sloped wall again, and… I think that was three or four bounces before it it flings itself into the other corner. This time TSA’s quick enough to knock it into the wall again before it can spin up, and after a brief struggle gets underneath – come on, the Pipe Organ’s right there, get it through the center, get it through the center… damnit! Instead he flips Natsec into the arena wall. It tumbles down from where it hits several feet in the air, and lands upside-down. Now it’s spinning up again, leaving skid marks on the floor.

The higher teeth are a bit easier on TSA’s wedge, but it loses the anti-monstertrucking nub thingy in the next few hits. Natsec gets flipped again, landing upright… ooh, but it’s struggling! That thing is like… intermittently spinning and skidding. That bot’s got very low ground clearance when it’s upright, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s worn its tires down enough on the rough stone floor that it’s barely making contact. TSA’s able to take advantage and boot it into the wall again, stopping it, pushing… oh, well it’s certainly high-centered now! And that’s pretty much it, all it can do now is spin its wheels.

Your winner, by knockout in 2:23, is TSA 2.1!

Diamond Head vs Mastodonosaurus

So here we have the Tombclone of Mastodonosaurus, fresh off a loss from fighting the actual pentagon. Then here we have Diamond Head, where the driver MINOTard is missing while playing GTA V in his hotel room- wait what?
Ok so Mastodonosaurus, you win because Avery isn't here, I'll be back in a minute after beating him to a pulp with a stick!

Your winner is Mastodonosaurus By FF

Final Mecha Catbot vs Shade Fist

Noah went with the ballsy strategy here. Instead of camping behind a 13 armour plow and trying to smother and wall a Black Dog spinner, he goes for the low armour flipper approach. "Let's flank this mofo," he says. And... you know what, it kinda works. Dylan spends most of his time focused on trying to keep up with the madly circling Catbot. Between gyroscopic lift, much lower speed, and less-than-stellar traction, Shade Fist oversteers a number of times. The first of these instances allows Catbot to chuck it dangerously close to the Gargoyles, but a lack of being able to realy maintain fine control over the spinner allows it to get away.

A second instance leads to a nice chain of flips and a hard wall slam. Again, Shade Fist squirms loose.

Third time's the charm. Shade Fist takes a heavy hit from the pipe organ. A discordant note echoes through the arena and there's actually a bit of a puncture in the Team Ignition machine's dorsal armour.

Fourth instance... can we get a fourth? Shade Fist gyro lifts badly while trying to turn, Final Mecha Catbot slips under with ease and... Shade Fist drops right on top of it as it fires the flipper. The result? Shade first goes flying. Gyro-tumbling and spikeballing across the area completely out of control. A death wail and multiple heavy impacts reverberate along the lexan. The End of the Line LLC entry, meanwhile, has its flipper absolutely mangled. It's wrenched to the left and I think I can see a piston popping out at an unhealthy angle. With his flipper down, Noah knows that he has to make this one count, so Catbot barrels forward, scoops Shade Fist up, and pummels it into a wall under one of the Gargoyles. The hazard slams down on top of Shade Fist, but struggles to get a grip on the short, wide spinner, instead getting rejected twice by the drum, which is starting to spin back up.

The arena won't be denied, however. Shade Fist is eventually lifted into the air and dropped from an unhealthily high altitude, coming down with a bang and being immediately scooped up. This time, however, Dylan's able to pull off the j-hook, and that drum starts getting into its power band. More circling from Catbot, cautiously, though. It can't flip anymore and its wedge is questionable. The clock passes two minutes and this fight is going to suck to decide. That is, until Shade Fist oversteers, Catbot finds an opening, and darts for it, and Dylan reverses hard, catching Catbot out and going right into its side. There goes a paw wheel. The speedy-no-longer flipper does an awkward barrel roll as Shade Fist catches it again, and a third time in an Aftershock-style chain.

Catbot comes to rest upright, but it's missing a wheel, a functional flipper, and a massive chunk of its left side. It tries crabbing along as Dylan hangs back just out of range, his bot's drum revved up to full power, but the referees don't see that as controlled movement and finish their countout with about twenty seconds left on the match clock.

Result: Shade Fist wins by KO at 2:39

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Two Fight Card (MW & HW): The Woodshed

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Feb 09, 2020 2:35 am

Parlez-vous Francais, mon ami? Well, only a handful of our teams really did. For the most part, the ARC crew bumbled its way around France. HFL, Laz, Gabe, and Alex got caught up in a protest and couldn't help themselves. At least none of them got set on fire or pepper-sprayed. Of course, Nick S and Marti were randomly there to egg them on because that's their thing. Notably missing was Bastien: ARC's only French member. Meanwhile, Superbomb managed to piss off half of France by having a baguette swordfight with Noah, whose face was conveniently hidden under a hood. Baguettes are sacred and Americans are cultureless pigdogs, apparently. Most of our English members spent their time in local pubs, lamenting the UK leaving the European Union... except for Trihunter. He got lost in Paris Disneyland with Drew, rode every roller coaster he could find and some that may not be real, and staggered back at the end of the day with a godawful sunburn and without his partner in crime. Nobody has seen Drew since, to be honest. Meanwhile Cassie was inspired to write by something that she saw in the French countryside, but the entire experience is of a questionable nature because what came out was... well, I'll let her explain it to you. Oh, and Alex V was accosted by a flight of pigeons near the base of the Eiffel tower as he was enjoying an overpriced croissant and proceeded to dropkick one of the fluttery pests. To cap it all off, Danielle had the most unusual experience of all: that of a completely normal, respectful American tourist. She took pictures, enjoyed a few local bars and restaurants, made some new acquaintances, and purchased a handful of souvenirs. At least one of us had to not be completely embarrassing, right?

And with France in the books, it's time for a drastic change of scenery. We're off the the frigid far north of Canada! That's right: this week sees our middleweight and heavyweight machines fighting in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories in the terrifying robotic torture chamber known fittingly as The Woodshed. Dare I say we'll get to see some people's true colours this week. Think the hazards are overkill? Don't like 'em? Hey, I didn't choose this place! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


The Woodshed by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: The Woodshed

Location: Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada

Layout: U-shape

Size: Prongs = 20 ft x 30 ft; Bottom section = 60 ft x 30 ft - 3000 square feet

Intended Use: MW-SHW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Sawmill

Floor Materials: Brazilian Walnut planks with fire resistant coating

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena has two 'Grizzly' house robots which patrol the caution-striped zones at the tips of the arena's two forks.
Smokey & Yogi
Show
A Pair of Bears


Yogi & Smokey by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Yes, they're a matching pair of Breaker Box-style lifters named after two of the most famous bears out there (sorry, Winnie and Baloo). They do exactly what you think they do. Also, a second yes: they will deal 10 impact damage if they smack into you.

Stats: 10 speed / 9 traction / 10 torque / 1 weapon / 6 armour (+6 house robot bonus)
Hazards and Features:
  • Hacksaws (2) - These are heavy blades about eight feet long suspended from the ceiling by a winch system. They drop onto robots that drive onto the caution-striped area beneath them, doing light-to-moderate damage.
  • Chopper Row (2x6) - A line of six woodcutters' axes that fire at anyone who drives into the caution striped squares in front of them. They deal moderate to-heavy damage.
  • Log Rollers (4) - located in front of the triggers for the arena's most powerful hazards, these sets of rollers deny traction to bots driving over them.
  • Low Wall (1) - located at the top to the 'U' shape's base, a wall that is only two feet high stretches for about twenty feet, allowing most flippers to flip an opponent out of the arena and into the dead space beyond.
  • Log Chute (1) - located in the middle at the base of the 'U', this large pit remains closed unless one of its triggers is pressed, in which case it will open for the next thirty seconds. If both triggers are pressed, it will remain open for the rest of the match. Robots that fall into the Log Chute are considered to be eliminated.
  • The Murdersaw (1) - Located just south of the Low Wall, this king-sized saw moves rapidly (with the equivalent of five speed) back and forth on a twenty-four foot track when one of its two triggers is pressed. When both are pressed, the Jaws Theme plays and the Murdersaw remains active for the duration of the match. This hazard functions more like a flywheel than a saw and does heavy to catastrophic damage.

Achievement One: Take 'em to the Woodshed! - Cut your opponent clean in half using the hazards.
Earned by:
Show
Team Riptide: Xtreme pneumatiX (CBC4 Round 2)
Achievement Two: Taken to the Woodshed! - Be cut clean in half by the hazards.
Earned by:
Show
Team Cardboard Pony: Pink Wedge 2020 (CBC4 Round 2)

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, February 15, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Middleweight

Heavyweight

Image

Results


Middleweight

Black Dog Division (A)

Carapace has a bye

Spinnerfood vs Tower of Gray

Both bots start out aggressively and meet in the center near the closed log-chute. ToG tries to maneuver to attack Spinnerfood’s large wheels, but the HUGE clone is able to turn in place and keep blade on plow. ToG uses it’s lifter/puncher combo to shove Spinnerfood away and maybe towards the log rollers and quickly follows, trying its best to stuff Spinnerfood’s weapon with it’s plow. They both end up on the logs now and Spinnerfood is having trouble keeping its traction and facing ToG, as its wheels seem to be just the right size for getting caught between the logs. Tri sees this as an opportunity and lifts/punches Spinnerfood multiple times. One hit causes Spinnerfood to hit the Murdersaw and the massive blade whirrs to life. ToG backs off and tries to bait Spinnerfood to chase him near the massive saw. Hide nopes out of this while eventually freeing himself from log rollers and regroups on his side of the arena until the Murdersaw shuts off. Now, Spinnerfood comes in and ToG stays towards the middle of the open area of the arena and tries to get to the wheels again, but doesn’t quite have enough of a speed advantage and this is a cramped arena, so that makes it all the more difficult.
Spinnerfood meets ToG head-on, this time getting in and tearing away at Tower’s top armor. ToG hits the lifter and backs away to prevent further damage, but Spinnerfood remains aggressive, spinning back up and advancing on ToG. ToG engages the lifter, then manages to punch Spinnerfood away. It spins around on its wheels and ToG now has a good angle on the wheels. It shoves Spinnerfood over towards the low wall, but Spinnerfood gets a wheel snagged in the track for the (inactive) Murdersaw. Tri may be close enough to the OOTA zone, though, and tries to lift/punch Spinnerfood out. The ungainly bot bounces up and..half over? He’s still got a wheel in and tries to get back in...it’s struggling to get some kind of purchase with its bar to pull itself back in.
Tri wants to go in and try to push Spinnerfood out fully, but wait, Tri has a better idea than to risk his bot...he goes over to one of the switches to activate the MurderSaw! The giant hazard comes to life again and Spinnerfood’s wheel is in its path! OH!...Oh, I think Spinnerfood just got really lucky there, as it moved at just the last second and the hazard only clipped it. The problem now is that Spinnerfood is stuck with one wheel out of the arena and the other in, just getting barely grazed by the MurderSaw. It’s not moving now, so the ref starts a countdown. Hide is noticeably upset, but starts up Spinnerfood’s weapon after the MurderSaw passes, hoping it stops before reaching him again. Spinnerfood is twitching, weapon going full-up...it catches the floor of the arena just right and launches itself into the air, back into the arena! And it manages to even avoid the Murdersaw! There’s one minute left of this match and this has already been a crazy one. Tri’s shocked that Spinnerfood is neither OOTA or KO’d by the Murdersaw, save for a deep gash in one of its solid UHMW wheels. ToG starts pushing Spinnerfood around again with its lifter and punches it away to avoid getting more top armor damage. This goes on for the rest of the match with ToG trying (unsuccessfully) again to knock Spinnerfood OOTA. This will go to the judges!

Damage: 3-2 Spinnerfood

Aggression: 3-2 Tower of Gray

Control: 3-2 Tower of Gray

Tower of Gray wins by 8-7 Judges’ Decision!

Lilly Frog and Jack Hammer vs Pressure Flop II

We’ve got a clusterbot against a shuffler here, which means Pressure Flop is about double the weight of Lily Frog and Jack Hammer’s components. Although, Pressure Flop’s kind of just two bots piggybacking on top of each other if I’m honest about it. Both bots have very powerful hammers, but Lily Frog’s also got a fairly strong flipper.

And we’re off, and both bots are kind of lumbering out at each other, with Lily Frog just hanging out behind its partner until they kind of get close to each other. At that point they split up, with the faster Lily Frog trying to go around the back of Pressure Flop, which PF seems okay with as it maneuvers toward Jack Hammer and… sideways… OOOOER! Which way is this robot facing? Does anyone know, including the drivers? I don’t know, but it drops the hammer and… hey, what do ya know, that Brazilian Walnut flooring really is tough! The dent’s not as bad as you’d expect. Jack Hammer also fires, and – whee! Up into the air it goes, flipping itself over because surprise surprise, your magnets have no power on wood floors! Flippers work just fine, though, and there’s Lily Frog sliding in and tossing Pressure Flop over onto its back!

Both hammerbots self-right. Pressure Flop spins the turret and shoved Lily Frog aside as it backs off. Jack Hammer comes in for another go, and – oof, before it can get in range it takes a big shot that puts a huge bend in its hammer. Meanwhile Lily Frog gets under PF and flips it again, this time into the currently stationary Murdersaw.
Jack Hammer’s now stuck going in circles on one wheel, and it’s not actually moving outside its circumference it looks like. Lily Frog, however, is doing a great job staying under Pressure Flop and flipping it whenever it tries to climb free using the nub thingies on its turret shell. However, it does eventually get free, and the turret’s fast enough that he drops the hammer right on top of Lily Frog’s flipper. BANG! Uh oh, and there’s CO2 venting out of Lily Frog. It backs off, and meanwhile Jack Hammer’s not actually getting anywhere by crabbing, and we’ve got a countdown.

So, Jack Hammer’s out of it, and it’s a pushing match for Lily Frog now, but a missed hammer blow from PF does let it get under again, and heave, ho! Oh, look like he’s gonna tee him up for Jack Hammer anyway, which I think is technically legal. Jack Hammer again mostly just flips itself, but it looked like there was some contact there, but how solid was it? Pressure Flop spins and hammers its way to freedom… sort of… okay, Patrick, there is a hazard in this arena called the Log Chute. You’re doing a solid job in the pushing match here, if you just press the trigger in the corner and open that, you still have a chance of winning this. Oh dear, never mind, Lily Frog has now stopped moving as well, not sure what from since that didn’t seem to be a direct hit.

Your winner, by knockout in 1:56, is Pressure Flop II!

Hoarfrost vs Unnamed & Untamed

Both bots go for their respective side’s MurderSaw switch, and guess what, we have the Murdersaw activated for the duration of the match! This should be fun. U&U then goes for Hoarfrost, who’s keeping on his side of the arena; Laz wants Dylan HFL to come to him. The MurderSaw hums menacingly and U&U keeps its distance from that. Hoarfrost rushes in and tries for the side of U&U, but just misses and the two end up meeting head-on. HF slips under and pops the flipper, sending U&U over on its back. U&U uses its flipper to self-right, but HF immediately sends it flying again, and this time, U&U bounces over to the corner and hits one of the LogChute switches, which opens it. HFL knows to stay away from this and backs off, although slowly due to the poor traction on the log rollers. HF comes in to attack, but can’t maneuver well on the rollers, either. U&U manages to get back on solid floor first and catches Hoarfrost before it can get free and pops it pretty good, but it’s nowhere near the chute. HF lands wheels-down and goes for U&U while it has at least a decent angle towards the open chute and flip, but U&U lands short of the opening and the doors close after the 30 second timer runs out.

Hoarfrost and Unnamed & Untamed tangle some more and exchange flips. HF seems to have a slight edge in wedging under U&U, but U&U seems to be just a little better at turning his bot and keeping away from the MurderSaw/OOTA zone. HF then gets in a good flip and sends U&U tumbling over by the MurderSaw and pushes it into the path of the hazard before U&U can try to self-right. The giant saw hits U&U and hurls it into the air, slamming into the ceiling before coming to rest over on the log rollers. Hoarfrost just waits while U&U manages to flip itself upright, but it has heavy damage to its backside and it’s having drive issues, as well. It barely can get off of the rollers and while it can drive somewhat better on the floor, it’s apparent that U&U can’t move like it did earlier. Hoarfrost goes in and tosses U&U around some more, with one more trip to the MurderSaw, as well. U&U lands near the front of the arena, smoking heavily. This might be it for the Team Ignition flipper (with a replacement driver). Oh, it’s still crab walking, but barely. Hoarfrost goes over and hits the log chute switch again and comes over to help U&U find its way out of the arena, and out of this match.

Your winner by KO (OOTA), is Hoarfrost!


Crash Blossom Division (B)

Paradox has a bye

V-Trigger vs Acrid

Summary fight because i said so
Both bots go at each other most of the time for those sweet aggression points and Acrid gets under more often, probably because of angling or something.
When V-Trigger gets under a hit happens and Acrid goes flying as expected, then TBR may be able to chain a hit or even two before Noah self rights with his fast lifter but the shape makes it awkward sometimes (the times where TBR gets another hit like i just mentioned). (un)surprisingly TBR doesn't really seem to do any real damage in these hits.
The a bit more common case is when Acrid gets under, Noah then uses his drive train to push V-Trigger into one of the lesser hazards like the Hacksaws or the axes in the Chopper Row because he is to much of a COWARD that is too afraid to activate the big boy hazards of the arena, making for a more boring fight that deserves a lower effort report.

Judges’ Decision:

Damage: V-Trigger 2, Acrid 3
Aggression: V-Trigger 3, Acrid 2
Control: V-Trigger 1, Acrid 4

Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges’ Decision, is Acrid!

Nick Cage vs The Act of Being Polite

Nick Cage gets smacked around for about a minute before landing a big clamp. Polite almost gets pitted, but it doesn't because Dream Team and it's kinda big. It gets released, smacks Nick around some more, and eventually messes up a wheel. While doing so, it yeets itself into the hacksaw but doesn't die. Insert joke about Nicolas Cage's career and going nowhere in here. But, in short, the Dream Team bot isn't able to capitalize because of its gimped-up drivetrain. With about twenty seconds left, a second swerve pod goes down, but Polite finds itself trapped again. Not like Maxi can actually drive it anywhere though. This one goes to the judges.

Damage: 4-1 TAOBP
Aggression: 3-2 Nick Cage
Control: 3-2 TAOBP

The Act of Being Polite wins a 9-6 judges' decision

Skoll vs Magnolia Grande

2 undercutters with identical statlines... this is gonna end well. Anyways the match starts and whadya know one of our undercutters is an overhead. Manganese has started the match upside down, and with its reach advantage it wastes no time getting one megahit to rule them all. Skull's face is done melted off, the bar visibly cocked to the side and unable to spin. However (probably not good), it is still mobile. Rio Grande sees blood in the water, he swings the fuckbar in for one last hit. Tl;dr, in the words of Robbie Rotten, don't let your children watch this.

Magnolia Grande wins by KO in 0:48


Diablo Genesis Division (C)

Remi 4 has a bye

Dragonfist vs Pizza 2

Both bots meet in the center of the Arena. Pizza 2 opts to spin up from the first moment while Dragonfist decides not to spin up until the driver sees Pizza 2's spin direction. Immediately, Dragonfist spins up opposite to it and is able to get about three seconds of spin up before Pizza 2 tries to force a hit in an attempt to break a flail, thinking it has an opening. Unfortunately, Pizza 2 gets thrown a bit with a hole in its top. But it continues on the attack, only to once more be thrown by the flails, with another hole being punctured in the side. Pizza 2 then tries to hit Dragonfist more cautiously with slower speed for more precision, but it fails as Dragonfist manages to hit it again at the top. This time, the flail digs deep as it goes all the way into the weapon belt inside and snaps it.

With the weapon disabled, Pizza 2 is helpless as Dragonfist lays hits after hits on it. Holes are punctured throughout the chassis as Dragonfist gets close. Pizza 2 then gets smacked in the bar by a tooth on the shell and thrown away into the Murdersaw, which proceeds to slash into Pizza 2, taking a wheel off. Pizza 2 is then counted out.

Winner: Dragonfist by KO (1:14)

Here Comes the Sun vs Space Bee

HCTS starts the fight by yeeting itself around the arena until it tumbles into place near the hacksaw, lurking. Space Bee drives out and smacks into it. Jack looks shocked. He was sure his bot was all-but invisible among the plethora of hazards in The Woodshed. Truly a sad day for galaxy-brained strategies all around. Anyways, fast forward through about two minutes of HCTS bouncing around the arena, Space Bee just kind of hanging around, occasionally shoving it, and tanking a few big hits without much issue. With about forty seconds left, Gabe backs into the pit release trigger with pretty much perfect timing and... there goes the sun, I guess.

Space Bee wins by pitting at 2:26

Momma Bear vs Diablo Genesis III

The fight starts with Diablo coming at full speed while Momma also goes at full speed (not fast) with the cubs following behind. At around the first corner for the cluster both team met, Momma heads the charge and Diablo... gets scared, what? So basically all of the attempts at engaging end up being both big bots approaching and then Diablo backing off, knowing that this is a massive trap. Jules decides to use the time she just obtained to activate the very near by Log Chute trigger, to escape the rollers Santi came in and did the flip thing to Momma. And yes in the mean time Ella-Louise got yeeted into the lexan.

But now the pit is open and Diablo Genesis III just exposed itself to attack and there is a fast flipper w/ a big wedge as backup ready to attack and... oh wait no Diablo managed to escape without getting flipped, well done Drew.

And now we are back to the game of the two big bots inching forward and Diablo backing off a bit, but this time Drew isn't realizing that he is slowly getting closer to the open pit. Soon enough Drew has enough and goes fast around Momma and yeets Ella-Louise again... only to get flipped from the side by Santi right after. Momma nudges Diablo for a second before it fires the flipper to self right and lands right at the edge of pit and gets away fast enough so when Santi flips it again he has to do it from behind, sending Diablo Genesis III away from the Chute.

This was a good strategy until you realize that now Drew has to self right, and firing the flipper would send him straight into the instant elimination hazard. Luckily Drew realizes after a second or two that his flipper can be fired at less than full power thanks to its electric system and does so to land right next to the big hole in the floor. Too bad Santi had time to position itself so he can rush in after this and flip Diablo into the Log Chute anyways...

Your winner, by KO in 0:42, is Momma Bear!

Image

Heavyweight

Hellhound Division (A)

Padoru Machina has a bye

FusterCluck vs Petaflare

We have a unique VS/four bar hybrid named after being that kind of contraption and pun on one square, and a Razer-style bot inspired by Utsuho Reiuji from Touhou and named after one of her spellcards. Both bots get out of their starting squares to face each other. FusterCluck tries to approach cautiously flipper first, gunning for the part of the wedge with clearance. Both bots try to angle each other slowly, but FusterCluck gets the better of the exchange as its slightly better speed allow it to angle on the part it wants. Immediately, Petaflare gets flipped by the bot.

As it's pushed forward and gets tipped to its side, FusterCluck turns around and tries to rush in while Petaflare self rights. It gets under again and manages to get a hit on the baseplate, tearing a gash in it. Again, Petaflare tries to self right, but FusterCluck keeps the pressure on, striking various parts. It doesn't do damage on the arm itself or the crushing wedge, but it does a number on the baseplate.
FusterCluck soon tries leading Petaflare on the Murdersaw, taking it on few hazards along the way. FusterCluck then tries to activate the Murdersaw while Petaflare is lying nearby, with its traction denied by the Log Rollers. Once it's finished however, Petaflare has self righted, but FusterCluck is back on the aggressive, trying to get under with the flipper. But Petaflare is able to grab it and tries to bring its crusher down, only for FusterCluck to attempt backing off and when it fails, fires its flipper. It manages to push itself away and free itself, then escapes to regroup while Petaflare follows. And for the third wedging, FusterCluck is successful.

FusterCluck soon goes in with the disc again while Petaflare is down, striking it. Petaflare is then thrown few centimeters from the active Murdersaw, which moves in and strikes it before it can escape, cutting into a wheel and one of the marks FusterCluck left. This cuts so deeply, that Petaflare starts smoking while struggling to move. FusterCluck soon delivers a final hit to the baseplate that spills some of the wires, as well as flipping it over unresponsive, as the team tries to right it but it can't move at all.

Winner: FusterCluck by KO (2:11)

Wallop vs Electro-Death

Enter the Woodshed! It's time for some Fun[tm] and Balanced[tm] hazard shenanigans! Then again, perhaps me and my laser-touting house robot shouldn't be talking. In any case:

Both bots rev up and approach one another. The weapons directly hit and Wallop shoves Electro-Death back a few feet a la Death Roll. What follows is a comedy of errors where they both try to angle in on one another, but between Electro-death's piss poor traction and Wallop's ground clearance (read: lack thereof), it looks like two drunkards barking at each other while flailing their arms about. ED gets its hits in, W gets its hits in, none of them press the Fun[tm] buttons, 5 armor bot has 5 armor and eventually shits its pants from shock damage. Big yellow drum snaps off its belt(s) and flies away, that thing'll probably land back in the arena during finals for comedic effect.

Ooh, that's a tap out!

Wallop wins by KO in 2:01.

Santangelo vs The No Fun Machine

No Fun Machine starts its shell spinning, and the chains attached to it almost immediately whip out to the sides. It’s supposed to be more than ten feet in diameter with the flails fully extended, and it’s certainly having to be fairly careful going up the middle of the arena prong. Ooh, it clips the murdersaw track a little, which makes a lot of noise but doesn’t appear to have really affected the bot or the arena.

Meanwhile Santangelo has booked it out of its starting square and charges into No Fun Machine. The flails rake across its side, turning it off course just slightly, and NFM’s shell catches a corner of the wedge, throwing both bots aside. Santangelo ramps onto the Murdersaw track, NFM bounces into the wall and it looks like catches the trigger with its chain. The saw roars up to speed, but Santangelo’s gotten down from there long before it’s in real danger.

Now NFM’s spinning back up and edging past the hacksaws. Santangelo’s after it again, with a little boop – and so far, these chains are just scuffing the paint. This time they deflect off the flipper. No Fun Machine tries for some sort of dart-in maneuver but can’t keep itself in a straight line, and the shell looks well below its normal speed. Santangelo makes contact, but it’s a glancing blow and NFM coins and skitters off the wood flooring like a giant orbital sander.
It takes over a minute for Santangelo to get No Fun Machine’s shell stopped and wedge under it. In the mean time it’s put some holes in Santangelo’s side panels, but the chains are too light to hit with any real force and are slowing the shell down before the real impact, even if they’ve helped it get some corner shots. And Santangelo flips it! Really… really… lamely. But it does send No Fun Machine over on its side.

NFM has a self-righting pole, but it’s a little on the short end. It starts bouncing and wobbling as the chassis spins underneath the stopped shell, not getting up so far but moving closer to the Log Chute. Santangelo’s been hovering near it, but sees its chance and runs off to press the trigger. Unfortunately this is when NFM’s pole finally hits the floor right to actually kick it back onto its wheels, and it wobbles further from the pit before landing upright. And proceeds to continue to spin madly and thrash around. What the hell’s going on? Is it high-centered on its own chain?

Oh, well, it’s free now, and spinning back up as it maneuvers away from the pit, but Santangelo comes in and stuffs it into the wall before it can really get going. And it’s flipped No Fun Machine over again! It’s bouncing, it’s spasming – Santangelo nudges it towards the Log Chute but this is dangerous business, it could bounce itself away and if Santangelo’s too aggressive it could drive itself in, but… no! No Fun Machine topples into the depths of despair!

Your winner, by pitting in 1:35, is No Fun Mach – I mean Santangelo, but let’s be honest it should have been the one named No Fun Machine, just look at the thing. Whatever, Santangelo is the winner!


Black Diamond Division (B)

KILL "EM ALL has a bye

Outrage 3 vs Fork Bomb

The fight starts with Fork bomb successfully enabling the murdersaw, and enabling the first trigger of the log chute as well, but during that time outrage gets pretty much up to full speed. Fork Bomb now tries to get to the sides of outrage, which it does so perfectly! Hii now gets a powerful hit on the top of outrage, creating a large gash in the top panel, but this doesn't come with its own expenses. Hii makes a small error, and Outrage's spinner now makes contact with the wedge, which goes flying off in 1 gruesome hit! Both bots go flying, but Fork Bomb now lays motionless, but where does outrage lie? In the chute is where!
By the skin of it's teeth, Fork Bomb skips the countdown, and Team 57 Come out victorious, but at what cost?

Winner: Fork Bomb by KO (0:27)

Pink Wedge 2020 vs Xtreme pneumatiX

Both bots start off approaching for the centre, and just as PneumatiX is about to make contact with Pink Wedge, Pat opts to back off? PneumatiX snags them up anyway, slamming them into the Murdersaw button. Ethan follows up with a flip, leaving Pink Wedge beached atop the button, and giving Pneumatix ample time to reposition once it does eventually come down. This time, it's launched head over heels at the Murdersaw, which impacts with a colossal CLANG! Pink Wedge's arm took the brunt of the strike, sliced clean off around its halfway point, the bot landing inverted just outside of the saw's reach, PneumatiX swoops in, snagging the stricken bot up, and swiftly lifts it OotA.

Xtreme PneumatiX wins by KO in 0:37

Team Riptide has earned the "Take 'em to the Woodshed!" achievement.
Team Cardboard Pony has earned the "Taken to the Woodshed!" achievement.


Glacier III vs linkinparknumb.mp3.exe

Glacier III first starts by slowly walking and staying around its starting area, while linkinparknumb approaches it quickly after pressing one of the buttons for the log chute. Linkinparknumb then tries to cautiously approach Glacier in straight line, then hits it once it thinks it has enough angle to deflect it far away. However, Glacier isn't thrown as far as Noah would hope. But linkinparknumb doesn't give up and tries to hit Glacier with about 10 seconds on the Log Chute left after recovering from being thrown. Unfortunately, linkinparknumb oversteers and gets hit on the side of the wedge, throwing it more while Glacier ends up safely away from the Log Chute, which closes. Again, linkinparknumb tries to hit Glacier and Glacier takes the better of the exchange as linkinparknumb gets hit on the side of its wedge again. And suddenly, linkinparknumb starts smoking as it moves more slowly, with the driver even trying to test the hammer, only to find out its not working. Knowing the bot is dying, Noah tries to deflect Glacier one more time into the Low Wall, hoping this will get Glacier OOTA. Unfortunately, it fails and linkinparknumb soon dies completely.

Winner: Glacier III by KO (1:19)


Broken Ghost Division (C)

Long Arm of the Law has a bye

Killer Queen vs Icebreaker

The match starts with both these morons being gigantic pussies and hide realizing he put his wheels on wrong and he now just has slidey 4WD. Also “Besides speed and wedge, what does he really have on me?” is kind of a comical sentence in a wedgebot matchup ngl. That being said after KQ tries to flank Icebreaker like 10 times and icebreaker responds by just… turning a bit and threatening to trap his opponent between him and the wall on either side of this stupidass chokepoint Hide gives up and goes in face first….

And it’s a success! He drives forewards and flips Icebreaker into the housebots in a move reminiscent of Isabelle’s dash attack. It gets the job done though, and yogi bullies Icebreaker for a bit before he gets free. And is now trapped in his own starting square by Killer Queen because that’s what happens when camping fails you. Unfortunately based on Super’s pre-fight interview he didn’t really seem prepared to ever be on the back foot – not that there’s much he can do here other than go head to head, which he does after a bit of trepidatious angle-finding. It appears to have paid off, as he gets under KQ and takes the immediate flip, catapulting his opponent into open space. KQ ends up upside-down, and juuuust barely self rights after a failed first attempt. There’s a lot of power in that flipper but not much arc – he has a tendency to just pop straight up.
He gets up just in time to fend off an attack from Icebreaker. Unfortunately for Hide he’s not facing an OOTA zone, but he can gun it into the wall in front of him and paste Icebreaker up against it for a bit, again faceplanting as he fires the flipper. KQ’s face flopping reminds me a lot of a bot I made back when I played besiege bots actually. Much the same shape, much the same face flopping. Damn that thing was a tank though.

Anywho there’s a reset to neutral, as two bots with two dangerous flippers now attempt to play the positioning game in the center of the arena, neither wanting their backs to the OOTA zone. This is where Hide is probably really kicking himself for his improper wheel setup – strafing would make that positioning SO much easier. Best to focus on the advantages he does have – and one of those is Icebreaker’s control, I say as he loses traction for a half second. Killer Queen attempts to take advantage of the situation by moving in, fails, takes Icebreaker’s wedge head-on, and gets under anyway somehow. Sometimes it just be like that. MORE PLASTERING INTO WALLS!
Icebreaker ends up upside down after this fun adventure. KQ could just try to snowball further on the wall slams, but he instead tries to line up a good OOTA shot, and Icebreaker just barely flips himself out of that mess. He scurries away after a bit more of a chase, and eventually secures the neutral again. After another tense faceoff, Icebreaker finally hits paydirt, getting underneath KQ in a head-to-head and sending the bot flying in a beautiful 180 that forces him to play the running away game. Unfortunately he plays it poorly and gets flipped again, taking a 270 that leaves him on his side for a bit before he lands flat on his back once more – right in time for a third flip, and we’ve somehow made it to chopper’s row. KQ gets a nice slappin, loses some plastic off a wheel, but calls it a day as he finally regains control. And is now trapped back near Icebreaker’s starting square. There’s a certain comical symmetry to the match that’s been developed here, as the defender, Killer Queen this time, loses the wedge war and gets sent into the housebots once more as time expires.

Aggression: Killer Queen 3-2
Damage: Icebreaker 3-2
Control: Killer Queen 3-2

Your winner, in a split 8-7 decision, is killer queen!

Tabor Mark 4 vs Swamp Thing

"The Woodshed" with it's Os replaced by Es makes it the Weedshed.

Anyway both bots rush out toward the center of the arena. Having the slightly faster bot, Code gets into position with just enough time to flip a coin determining whether he'll charge straight on or angle in. And it's... tails! He swerves in at a 20ish degree angle, and Tabor fucks up by pressing its plow. 3 of it's wheels raise off the ground and Swamp Thing is able to easily slide under. Can't j-hook when you're in midair, sis! Tabor lands and counterattacks by wedging under Swamp Thing, getting a pretty decent push in before it's able to back off. The two dance about for another while before Swamp Thing slides under again and chucks Tabor past the log wall.

Swamp Thing wins by TKO (OOTA) in 0:56.

P.S. code pressing reduces torque but not traction

Defenestrator vs Dreadnought Mk. 4

HFL's rocking the hammer blockers this fight, for some strange reason. Both bots approach one another fairly quickly, meeting head to head, with Defenestrator getting under first. The arm comes up quickly, toppling Dreadnought over backwards, plowing them across the ring and squarely into the Murdersaw trigger, the monstrous blade whirring to life. Dreadnought attempts at self-righting, but instead manages to briefly beach itself, with its wheels straddling the button and its wedgelets digging into the rollers. HFL takes advantage of this moment of respite by getting the second Murdersaw button, just as Dreadnought gets free from jostling itself around with the flipper. The two bots return to jousting once more, this time Dreadnought managing to get under and scoring the flip. Dreadnought rushes the inverted bot over to the wall, but Defenestrator's able to slip out as it lifts, darting off of the flipper whilst righting itself at the same time. There's a torque reaction flipper joke in here, but I can't think of it.
The bots return to a neutral stance for the third time this match, both bots jostle for position, as they fight for who has to go arse-first into the vicious Murdersaw. Defenestrator does win out, toppling Dreadnought over, as it selfrights, just at the edge of the Murdersaw's range, and CLANG! The saw makes contact with the edge of Dreadnought's rear end, slamming it back down into the ground, leaving a huge welt in its back, and Alex lucky that the impact didn't cut anything important. Dreadnought is back on its wheels, however, and returns to jostling with Defenestrator, losing out a third time and getting pushed upside-down towards Smokey. This time, Dreadnought's able to self-right in time though, remaining on their wheels as Smokey shoves both bots out of its territory. After another moment to clear up, the bots go on the offense once more, Dreadnought managing to scoop up and throw Defenestrator back at Smokey. Smokey's more prepared for this attack, giving Defenestrator a wallop to throw it out, HFL just about able to self-right and reset itself. One more jostle, and it's under again, flipping and carting Dreadnought back into the rollers, bouncing it up with the button's frame. Dreadnought self-rights, but lands awkwardly, still hanging up on the frame of the button, a second flip setting it free, just in time for the buzzer to call the end of the match, for a judge's decision.

Damage: 4-1 Defenestrator
Control: 3-2 Defenestrator
Aggression: 3-2 Defenestrator

Your winner, by a 10-5 decision, is Defenestrator!

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Three Fight Card (FW & LW): Ironworks

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Feb 16, 2020 1:19 pm

Alexander Valentine is a masochist. Also a sadist. I guess that makes him a sadomasochist. This is because he actually likes fighting in The Woodshed. Also beating up the dozens of vicious animals that seem to just be drawn to him almost as if it were some kind of terrible running gag that's long since stopped being funny. Anyways, this week, he had it out with a Polar Bear. Five times. Alex V lost the first four but, as we all know, he never gives up. The fifth match went well into the championship rounds before he was finally able to make the bear tap via triangle choke. He remains the champion that ARC deserves. Of course, most of the rest of us did normal people things. Pat caught a truly colossal pike while ice fishing. Jules took 3502 pictures of the rugged beauty of the surrounding countryside. HFL visited one of the world's largest diamond mines, saw an engineering problem that he couldn't resist and ended up falling down a mine shaft. Thankfully, the lift was only about twenty feet below, during which our resident physicist calculated the optimal landing angle and the best way to absorb the rapid deceleration and escaped with only a mildly sprained ankle. It's true: math is a superpower. Gabe basically just got super high and vibed out around a campfire with some hippies, watching the Northern Lights. Drew, TBR, Laz, Danielle, and a couple of others got hammered at a local bar that's been around since the gold rush days. Dylan finally lost a race, finishing second to Super in a dogsled race. He got his revenge, however, when we moved onto snowmobiles, pipping Jack and Pat at the line in a near-photo finish. Oh yeah, HIDE hid. TCR found him in a barrel of pickled herrings after days of intermittent searching. Some say that it was the same barrel that Laz had hidden in years before. It certainly looked the same.

Markedly different, however, is our next destination. We're headed into the German industrial heartland of Dusseldorf, where our featherweights and lightweights will be doing battle in the dark, fiery, claustrophobic octagon of Ironworks, amid burning furnaces and whirring pistons. Of course, it's not all grim and industrial. It's Germany! There's beer and schnitzel, lederhosen and cool old historical buildings. There's the Black Forest and some really good music. Still don't like the location? Hey, I didn't choose it! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


Ironworks by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: Ironworks (Eisenwerk)

Location: Dusseldorf, Germany

Layout: Octagonal

Size: 30 ft x 30 ft - 700 square feet

Intended Use: FW - LW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Heavy Industrial

Floor Materials: steel

OOTA Zone?: NO (pit)

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • die Schornsteine (10) - There are five of these powerful pistons located on either side of the arena. If a robot drives or is pushed over them, they will pop up and begin spewing flames, dealing light to moderate damage which stacks over time and potentially flipping bots over.
  • der Müllbrenner (1) - A great furnace occupies the center of the arena, its oppressive heat seeping out through a pair of grilles. It is ringed by caution stripes and a small lip that prevents bots driving in at high speed. This is because the grilles are rather flimsy. Four solid impacts against a grille will cause it to collapse, leaving the furnace yawning open. A bot that falls in will be considered to be eliminated.

Achievement: Forged by Fire - successfully shove your opponent inside der Müllbrenner after they have opened it.

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, February 22, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Image

Results


Featherweight

Firebird Division (A)

Puffy Cloud has a bye

Vindicator vs Black Dog

Vindicator goes to open the pit at the start. Black Dog abandons its cute strategies and makes a beeline for Vindictator's candy ass as it's going for its third ram Maxi nopes outta there. Black Dog follows. Vinocator circles, angles, does all that stuff. Black Dog oversteers and wheel lifts and eats a ram at a bit less than full force and a wheel's looking wobbly. It does funky gyrodance things and Vindigator's going for the grate one last time and it'll be open.

The Furnace is now in play but Black Dog is now back under control. And now out of control as Vindictivator forces the spinner to turn in place. And that's another ram and the other wheel looking less-than-great. Black Dog is fast on its way to the furnace when... it turns.

And Vincictater explodes.

And Black Dog escapes.

The Design Flaw machine's entire front is pretty much gone. Three wedgelets are gone, and the front plate with them. A wheel's rolling around forlornly, both motors are hanging out, and there are batteries exposed. The corpse to the speedy speedboi isn't even twitching. The Hall-of-Famer remains undefeated so far in CBC4.

Result: Black Dog by KO at 1:27

Gabrial vs I Can't Believe it's not Tanto

Pat decides to sit up against a wall to the "play defensive, let him come to me" schtick, which Tanto is more than happy to do. It facetanks whatever "Gabrial" invested 14 weapon points into with ease and proceeds to push Gabriel(?) over onto the side of its wheels. The weapon apathetically spins about until the immobility countdown begins.

1, 2, (clang, clatter) 3, 4, (ding, fwish), 5, 6... Not Tanto bumps into and rights fw: gabrial (axe)............ hard reserve, only to promptly shove it into the now-opened flame pit. That's cold, man. Well, not for Gabrial, but ya know.

I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto wins by OOTA in 0:40.

Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2 vs NRG 2

I once knew or that that I knew
A fellow online by the name of Drew
He came from Chicago, and back home he went
His nerdy ambition and energy spent.
No longer did he ARC like a shooting star
Across the sky from near to far.
His miscoloured bots all sat unused.
Opponents scratched their heads, confused.
We head to The Noir, in his hometown, next week.
For there it is Drew, just like wins, we shall seek.

Result: Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2 wins by Forfeit


Vorpal Bunny Division (B)

Chinesium II has a bye

Wasp 2 vs Ori

Aight well Rinz threw so imma not write out much other than Ori flipping him around the vast majority of the match. I mean it works once but turns out when you do the same thing the entire match and that thing is super punishable your opponent catches on to it after a few times.

Aggression: 3-2 Wasp
Damage: 3-2 Ori
Control: 5-0 Ori

Your winner, in a 10-5 decision, is Ori!

Untitled Goose Robot vs The Grand Vizier

Damn, this is a cagey fight. From the get-go, UGR regularly slides its goosehead under TGV and pushes - fast. Thing is, the drum spinner's fast too, so Josh just turns his bot and hooks either away or slides one of his wedgelets under that really long, really vulnerable IDK WTF to even call it... neck!?

Two things conspire to make this a winning play for neither of them. TGV's control is bad and it eats a lot of gyro lift when it turns too suddenly, which Noah starts trying to exacerbate by angling in. That allows a couple of nice hazard slams and a couple into the furnace grate by the goose, which has at least somewhat controlled the majority of the action, even taking advantage of some runaway gyro lift to briefly pin and smother its slippery opponent. However, Jafar usually squirms away before any real dominance can be shown, and it's able to sink a prong either under the gooseneck or the actual plow on multiple occasions, flipping UGR three times and forcing it to give up aggression and run away to the pistons to self-right. On the last of these occasions, the quickness of his opponent takes Noah by surprise and the goose takes a hard pop up the poop chute, that massive drum narrowly missing a wheel.

With a minute left in the match, UGR is able to angle in thanks to some oversteer on the drum spinner's part and label it into a furnace grate. As it backs off for another ram that threatens to finish matters, TGV instead barrels forward at an angle. UGR backpedals and hooks to protect its Goosehead from being angled in on, the two bots effectively wedgelocking. Noah goes full throttle for the grate, but Josh is able to use the slight angle of the wedgelock and his own momentum against him to slip free. TGV punches it forward into UGR's wedge and the bird takes flight. Jafar gyrodances a bit, coming back down just after its opponent does. However, its right side up, and the goose isn't.

Noah has to find a way to self-right, and he makes for the pistons again, but Josh is right on his tail. UGR makes it in the nick of time, reaching the pistons before TGV reaches it and flipping itself back over... right into the wailing drum spinner. Untitled Goose Robot takes a colossal hit, somersaulting end over end, slamming into the lexan, and rebounding. The poop chute is vulnerable, but so are the wheels. The Grand Vizier doesn't miss its opportunity, and off goes one of UGR's wheels. With less then thirty left on the clock, the wedge is at the spinner's mercy, but Noah does a good enough job crabbing around to fake mobility, and generally keeps his plow pointed in the right direction. UGR still takes a hell of an eleventh-hour beating, but it doesn't really do much. The judges will have to decide if the goose's early dominance was enough or if Josh managed to pull one out of the fire late.

Aggression: 3-2 Untitled Goose Robot
Damage: 4-1 The Grand Vizier
Control: 3-2 Untitled Goose Robot

The Grand Vizier wins by 8-7 judges' decision

Irritant vs Gas Gas Gas

On paper Gas Gas Gas is just a better Irritant, without the armor. On practice it has its unique drivetrain and the arena shape means one thing

BUCKLE UP KIDDOS, WE ARE GOING FOR A RIDE


The fight starts and immediately we get speed bot start doing inertia dorifto around the entire arena, doing around the laps before Irritant intercepts it and lands a solid flip. Self righting for the very originally named bot (tbh both names here are trash) takes a few seconds, enough for Irritant to come in and flip again. Then TBR tries again but does not get in time to stop Gas Gas Gas from getting back into drifting and getting past his wedges and now Irritant is getting a wild ride.
After 30 seconds of this Tri has to let go and leaves the flipper on top of die Schornsteine, it doesn't take much to get out of the hazard. Meanwhile
E U R O B E A T I N T E N S I F I E S
Gas Gas Gas does a full donut around the Müllbrenner before engaging again and the clownstomping continues, Irritant gets another tour around every part of the arena except the main feature right in the middle. Around the time the timer runs out the car with supra lights leaves its opponent flipped and proceeds to fool around doing more dorifto for a while. Soon enough Irritant gets under and manages to get a few more flips before the S P E E D takes over again and by this point i am starting to repeat myself.
The point is that we get a cycle of Irritant getting a few flips in until Gas Gas Gas gets under and we get several seconds of lulzy pushing without actually using the arena features, instead we got mad drifting skillz, which are arguably better.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Irritant 3, Gas Gas Gas 2
Aggression: Irritant 1, Gas Gas Gas 4
Control: Irritant 0, Gas Gas Gas 5
Style: Irritant 1, Gas Gas Gas 37

Your winner, by an 11-4 Judges’ Decision, is Gas Gas Gas!


Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)

Nikkousen has a bye

Finishing Move vs Black Salvo

Black Salvo going for the underall wedges
The Monsterworks's captain enters the arena with confidence and a smile, looking like he has a well though-out plan
Meanwhile Team Ignition's captain shows up with sad eyes and a sleep-deprived face, almost like if he didn't even want to be here.

We start the fight and both robots just charge straight at each other like you would expect, Black Salvo get under first and does the thing of pushing quite effectively. Monsterworks tries to strafe side to side but having his front wheels in the air and Badnik being good at denying any angling he made is enough to stop FM from getting away. Turns out mecanums don't really work well if you have wheels in the air, also you basically have 0.25 torque here.
So anyways, Black Salvo is pushing and has everything under control and decides to continue pushing and go for the wall slam for pinning and something i guess and... wait a minute pulls out calculator
oh

Black Salvo slams Finishing Move against a wall and it's rear right wheel explodes and a bunch of tiny rollers fill the arena, this spells big trouble for the Monsterworks machine. The fight then proceeds to be dominated mostly by Black Salvo as its opponent is really awkward to drive now but FN does get under multiple times and manages to flip BS high into the air. But of course the wedge bot does still have a pretty good wedge that wins and soon enough gets under a few times and pushes FN around the arena.
After a few of these Badnik does do the ramming thing and destroy the other rear wheel on Finishing Move. Now with only two mecanums the MK-themed bot can barely do what many call "controlled movement", Badnik decides that he had enough for today and just opens the door of the Müllbrenner and does the finishing move on Finishing Move by sending it into the furnace.

Your winner, in 1:32 by pitting, is Black Salvo!

CIRCUITZ vs Mimi-Chan

As the match starts, Mimi Chan does it's thing, and gets ready to fire itself at Circuitz, but you see there's a furnace in the path of Mimi. No obstacle stops her though, so she fires straight into the furnace, and dies a fiery death, but she didn't just hit it, she kamikazed into it!... Well... I think we'll call that time..

Winner: Circuitz by KO (0:14)

Taipan vs Lil' Yeetums

All right, there’s a good thirty seconds of these bots feeling each other out without actually doing anything productive. Taipan seems to be getting the better of wedge interactions more often than not thanks to its slightly better drivetrain, but it’s having difficulty actually doing much to Lil Yeetums. There’s a lift, but it doesn’t flip itself over. Yeetums bounces to freedom on those big tires, spins around, and comes back in for another try – and there’s a flip! Taipan gets hurled skyward and bounces off the arena wall. No OOTAs for you here, though! Taipan self-rights, now it’s retreating to keep Lil Yeetums away from its back, but quickly gets back on the offensive and gets under its corner. Yeetums can’t escape in time, and gets pinned against the wall and tipped on its back.

But LY just launches itself out of there, tumbling across the box. It ends up inverted, but a low-powered flip gets it back upright. Taipan’s after it, and forces it into the side of the Marmitehaus, but only hits against the doors count, and it can’t get a long pin out of it either.

It’s not long before Yeetums delivers another massive flip. It turns itself over in the process, but again it gently pops itself back over. This is a good back and forth fight, but – oh, and Lil Yeetums gets under again! - Taipan is having trouble dealing with the longer reach of those forks. Its side wedges are sometimes getting under, but often the bots just lock wedges, which would normally let Taipan just outpush it, but here it usually means Yeetums does a somersault and Taipan gets punted. Not a whole lot of chaining flips from Yeetums, though, but it does get a pin with the help of the Shornfisters once. Meanwhile Taipan’s got the Merburglar open on one side, but it’s not having much luck getting its opponent that close to it. It overturns Yeetums and tries to push it in, but Yeetums leaps gracefully over the hazard and… hmm, one of the googly eyes has come off in the landing.

So anyway it ends up going to the judges, but by this point Taipan hasn’t used the lifter in almost a minute, and is just clumsily driving around inverted until it gets flipped again.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Taipan 1, Lil Yeetums 4
Aggression: Taipan 3, Lil Yeetums 2
Control: Taipan 3, Lil Yeetums 2

Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Lil’ Yeetums!

Image

Lightweight

Elrathia Division (A)

Bluetooth has a bye

Apeirogon vs Magnolia Pico

I cant fucking spell Ys’s bot’s name for the life of me so it’s called pierogi now. I also don’t give a shit about giving a full writeup right now so fuck you. Ys’ strategy also relies on a drivetrain advantage he only kinda has (yeah whatever strafing he can still just circle to face you and he has the scary weapon so he’s not exactly gonna get herded into walls), and on armor tanking with a vertical spinner. Eventually he’s forced to come head-on, and he does some fancy dancing until he eats a hammer shot to the weapon. This slows the spinner enough that pierogi really just pops its opponent up enough to get underneath pico for a bit and parade around slowly with its new hat until its new hat jostles itself free with a violent hammer shot.

Perogi then tries to do the whole fancy dancing thing again and instead gets swatted into the ground like a fly. It twitches, so Alex fires the hammer again. It stops twitching.

Your winner, by KO in 0:44, is Magnoilia Pico!

Scrapper vs 25 or 6 to 4

The match first starts with Scrapper trying to approach 25 or 6 to 4 slowly, waiting for an opportunity to get a hit in. However, there is a twist. A different backup driver shows up instead of Josh, and the driver doesn't drive it as well. In addition, a more major problem is that the weapon doesn't work from the start for some reason. Maybe it's a mechanical problem. Scrapper, immediately sensing an opportunity, hits 25 or 6 to 4 on its shell, flipping it over with the hit part bent from under. 25 or 6 to 4 is unable to self right after the hit and thus gets counted out.

Winner: Scrapper by FF KO (0:24)

King Crimson vs Eagle's Hawk

"Eagle's Hawk"? As in like... the hawk is owned by an eagle? Why is it a possessive noun?

Whatever.

King Crimson pussyfoots around Eagle's (sic) Hawk for all of 5 seconds before being able to angle in on it's hilariously narrow forks. It oversteers a bit in the process, but the 5/3 vertical spinner oversteers more. With a push and a swerve, King Crimson is able to shove Eagle's Hawk about halfway across the arena before it escapes.

A good third of this match is KC flexing on and outmaneuvering EH, and another third consists of nothing but pushing and shoving (not a ton of "pushing and shoving" into the hazards though, hm). The last portion is when Eagle's Hawk finally gets a couple of punches in and bends the hell out of King Crimson's plow. Thank you, corner damage bonus. The disc nabs a wheel and chucks it upward like a pop fly to third base, but I have the feeling that it might be too little too late.

AGG: 4-1 King Crimson
DMG: 5-0 Eagle's Hawk
CTL: 4-1 King Crimson

Hellhound wins by an 8-7 judge's decision.


Blood Eagle Division (B)

Broken Tooth has a bye

Boring Gray Wedge vs Blood Eagle

Blood Eagle’s spinning up, Boring Gray Wedge rushes it around the MullerBrenn – the Marlbarn – the MurrBurner – the goddamn pit! Blood Eagle runs away around the other side, forcing BGW to follow it, and while this doesn’t work for long it buys BE a bit of time to spin up. It gets rammed, and knocks itself into the wall next to BGW’s starting square. The weapon’s still spinning, but slowed way down, and BE’s having to keep retreating. It’s facing the blade away from its opponent, weaving around a bit, and there’s a little hesitationg from Boring Gray Wedge.

That’s bought Blood Eagle enough time to get spinning at least fairly fast. However it glances off Boring Gray Wedge’s plow, throwing itself into the air and landing near the pit. Still spinning pretty quick – oh, and there’s a big hit, catching the edge of the plow and taking a big chunk out of the corner! This violently throws both bots into the walls. BE’s stopped, spins up a bit, but gets rammed in the wheel and knocked into the Schoenburgers, which come up… oh, not actually underneath it thanks to the T- shaped chassis. BGW rams it again, and the pistons switch to the other set, lifting both bots. Boring Gray Wedge gets away, but jostles Blood Eagle free as well and it’s out of there! However, this arena isn’t giving it much room to spin up. It’s getting some good hits, but I don’t know how many are at full speed. Ooh! That one was, and throws Blood Eagle into the Mullberry Bush so hard that… uhh, weren’t the doors supposed to take four hits to come off? It’s just knocked free on one side, but still, I think you legitimately broke the arena.

That’s also caused some more bending and material removal from the bottom of BGW’s plow. It’s not quite level with the floor on one side, but it’s not exactly gonna stop it getting under Blood Eagle’s very high ground clearance. And Blood Eagle’s blade seems a little off-balance after that massive hit. It’s shaking from side to side a bit.

However, after another few hits, Blood Eagle actually slips the bar under BGW’s bent plow. Chunks of tires fly everywhere, then it catches something solid and the bots are tossed apart again. It retreats and spins back up – but BGW can’t pursue it! It’s stuck driving in circles, and there’s some smoke coming out of it! Looks like something’s jammed up in that right-side drivetrain.
Blood Eagle can’t really capitalize on the damaged plow again though, because it flips itself over after another hit and is stuck inverted, where thanks to its big wheels and flat-ish chassis it’s just smacking the steep part of BGW’s plow. It does however get some good corner shots on that, and at the end of the match the plow’s grip on its mounts is just as tenuous as the Mel Bronner’s hold on that damaged door.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Blood Eagle 4, Boring Gray Wedge 1
Aggression: Blood Eagle 2, Boring Gray Wedge 3
Control: Blood Eagle 3, Boring Gray Wedge 2

Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges’ Decision, is Blood Eagle!

Golden MADD 2 vs Wheelosaurus

Pat sprays his mouth with Silver spray paint as the buzzer sounds, throws out his arms, and yells, "Wtines sme!!!" Wheelosaurus dies a glorious death at the hands of Golden MADD, which is probably going undefeated in the group stage at this point. Extra points, Pat, for a funny RP.

Golden MADD wins by KO at 0:18

The Thieving Magpie vs Trilobite

This is mostly just Trilobite semi-effectually bullying at Thieving Magpie. I say "semi" because Cassie's quite cautious about not getting flipped, so it's mostly an angling battle. Danielle's all aggression, though, and the half-dozen instances of monstertrucking look pretty damned cool, actually, even if it's her bot technically getting wedged and occasionally pushed, often perilously close to the furnace. Trilobite has gotten one grate down in short order, and another one clings to life with 3 boops against it for most of the fight.

There's a particularly rough sequence for Magpie as it eats a piston to the face and then a second and third just for kicks. Trilobite is soaring, right now, folks. I mean, no, literally. Cassie is visibly relieved when it lands right side up. Danielle, less so, especially when her bot nearly ends up in the pit. Reflex j-hook saves FTW. They reset and Trilobite eats a second flip after sliding diagonally right under and past the Magpie when Danielle tries to go evasive. This gives the flipper a wonderful opportunity, and its prehistoric opponent gets yeeted into the pistons, upside down - oops, no - right side up now, and booped a couple of times.

Danielle's waiting with The Thieving Magpie, though. Its flipper sinks under as Trilobite lands, and over goes the Team Worst Swordsman, this time onto its back and out of the fight.

Result: The Thieving Magpie wins by KO at 2:31


The Debilitator Division (C)

Shade Fist has a bye

Mastodonosaurus vs Final Mecha Catbot

Here we go - powerful horizontal of Mastodonosaurus (I’m just gonna go with Mastodon for simplicity’s sake) against the speedwej of Final Mecha Catbot...say, the name and color scheme seem awfully familiar…

Anyway, Mastodon gets that large weapon bar up to speed and heads out of its square, hesitating to see what FMC does. Catbot races out and angles around the side of the furnace that sits in the center of the arena. FMC quickly gets an angle-in attempt on Mastodon, but Ethan sees this coming and FMC can’t direct box-rush due to the arena layout and this favors the spinner. Blade meets plow and the two bots are flung apart from the recoil. Oh, Mastodon bounces and lands on the pistons, which pop up and spout flames over Mastodon and flips it back onto solid arena floor, although now on its back. Mastodon can drive inverted, though. In the meantime, FMC is trying to open one of the furnace grates. It rams it two times before pouncing on the inverted Mastodon before its weapon can get to full speed, and rams Mastodon hard into the wall. It rams/pins repeatedly before a ref signals FMC to release and separate fully.
~~~
FMC quickly goes back and rams the furnace grate until it opens; Noah’s looking to get this fight over quickly. FMC hasn’t taken too much damage, yet, but I think if that plow gets compromised, this could quickly turn ugly for the pink feline. FMC quickly darts back to Mastodon, who is still inverted, but gets away from the outer wall and weapon spun up. Ethan is hunting for that angle and has a good reach with the weapon bar and swings to the left as FMC rushes towards him, then goes in for the plow corner or maybe even a wheel. FMC angles in just in time, Mastodon barely catching a corner of plow and both bots are sent in circles away from each other. Mastodon bounces off the wall while FMC recovers quickly and is in to stuff the weapon again. It turns, trying to carry Mastodon over to the open grille, but the grey horizontal spinner manages to slip off at the last moment. It turns away, doing the best to gain some distance to spin up. No luck, FMC is just too fast and well-driven. FMC races up to Mastodon’s rear, but it swings around and catches Catbot’s plow corner hard, blade bouncing up and taking out the hammer stopper, also. Now there’s some damage; the plow is looking loose on the one side. FMC shrugs off the hit and goes after Mastodon again and gets a good angle before Ethan can fully recover and reorient his bot. Mastodon eats plow and is sent tumbling over towards the pistons and getting clipped in the rear from one. He’s a bit toasty, but unharmed. Now, Mastodon is back right-side-up and driving a little more stable when spinning up.
~~~
And less than a minute left - this is not what Noah was wanting, a still healthy and spinning Mastodon. But, he keeps his cool and drives to the other side of the furnace to open the other grate before rushing back around to attack Mastodon, which looks to be caught a little off-guard over which side that FMC was going to attack from. FMC deflects a direct hit to the plow and capitalizes on the horizontal spinner’s more severe recoil, this time bouncing off the outer wall and pinballing back in. Noah hesitates until just before Mastodon comes to a stop, scoops it up and before Mastodon can react, it disappears into the flaming maw of der Müllbrenner, and that’s the match, folks!

Final Mecha Catbot wins by KO (pitting) in 2:48!

TSA 2.1 vs Dr. Robotnik

TSA2.1, which does NOT stand for Transportation Security Administration, but rather, The Servant’s Assistant 2, which is an old robot from a long-ago ARC’er named Lian and ran during a tournament back when dinosaurs still walked the Earth versus Dr. Robotnik (I’ll refer to as Eggman), another old design from an ARC elder statesman, but whatever...enough of me yapping and some more metal-munching action!

Eggman spins up and heads over towards the wall while TSA2.1 quickly rushes out of his square. Eggman points his horizontal disk right square at TSA while Alex turns slightly into the direction of Eggman’s weapon spin to lessen the blow. The combination of lack of a meaty ‘bite’ on Eggman’s disk and the low, sloped armor of TSA2.1 result in less than spectacular impact. Alex pops the flipper before Eggman bounces completely away and it’s sent upwards and against the outer wall of the arena. Sorry, no easy OOTA zones there, Alex - you’re going to have to work for this one! The two bots exchange similar blows with the flipper connecting on a few and missing on others, which has little effect on Eggman other than bouncing around some and getting clipped by the pistons once.

~~~

Alex manages to open one grate of the center furnace, but can’t capitalize on getting Eggman near the hazard. Josh is doing a great job at slipping off TSA’s front and while TSA has flipped it a few times, it doesn’t really help get TSA any closer to the pit. Eggman does get a few nice bites out of the corner panels and the panels around TSA’s flipper start to look battered and the skirts on the front corners have been mostly ripped away. 1:30 left in the match and not much more in the way of progress for either bot. TSA doesn’t have much of a problem sending Eggman airborne, but pushing him into a relatively narrow pit opening is proving to not be the easiest thing to do. Alex is starting to get frustrated and oversteers just a bit while trying to corral Eggman again and Josh manages to get that weapon on a back corner of TSA and just destroys the wheel and drive motor. Alex now backs away some and focuses more on just keeping his armored front on Eggman’s weapon. There is some smoke coming from TSA and it’s no longer using the flipper (can’t tell if there’s damage or if it’s out of gas), but it still has 3 wheels working and can still fight off that weapon. Eggman does have some dents and dings due to being tossed around by the flipper, but that’s about it. One more valiant effort by Alex to get Eggman into the pit right before the buzzer results in not quite there by TSA2.1. This will go to the judges!

Damage: 4-1 Dr. Robotnik

Aggression: 3-2 TSA 2.1

Control: 4-1 TSA 2.1

Your winner by 8-7 Split Judges' decision….is TSA 2.1! Congrats, Lian!

Fork Factor vs National Security

Mecanum lifter vs melty spinner. FF does his best to keep on the offensive against NS and does fairly well with using its speed, strafing ability, and armor to fend off most of NS’s attacks. NS pinballs around the arena a lot, at one point getting caught on the pistons, but frees itself before FF can capitalize. NS does catch FF’s lifting forks a few times and flings it hard into the wall. It tries to get at the lesser armored parts, but NS isn’t quick enough to do so and FF manages to strafe away, keeping its front facing the dangerous spinner. The two do a good job at dodging and strafing with a decent hit from NS thrown in. And time’s up - this is going to the judges!

Damage: 4-1 National Security

Aggression: 3-2 Fork Factor

Control: 3-2 National Security

National Security wins with a 9-6 judges’ decision!

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Three Fight Card (MW & HW): The Noir

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:12 pm

Okay, Germany gets the highlight reel treatment since I have things to do. HFL pretty much just went on an engineering automation tour. The rest of us have never seen the lil' guy so happy. He babbled on and on during the bus ride and nobody understood a word that he said. Alex V went for a swim in a peaceful German river and disappeared underwater for about two minutes. The rest of us could see frantic splashing but nobody panicked. We know from experience that some poor animal was probably getting the stuffing knocked out of it. This time, it was an opportunistic Wels Catfish that had seen our resident British Bludgeon and thought he'd make an easy meal. Alex cooked it and ate it. ALL. The Rookie bros (Super, DJ, and Hide) dressed up in lederhosen, sang, and drank a bit too much. Laz showed off his unexpectedly impressive culinary skills using traditional German ingredients. Jules took pictures of every interesting building she could. She also found Josh, wandering around the streets with a troupe of gypsies and pulled him back into ARC. Gabe went to see some obscure band that nobody had ever heard of and didn't return for nearly two days. As for Drew, nobody knows where he went, as usual. Dylan drove up and down the autobahn at extremely high speed, frantically looking for him in what was definitely not enlightened self-interest. His hair slowly formed into a perfect approximation of Sweet JP's from Redline. Even with Drew missing and his bots having a somewhat mediocre week, for just a moment, Dylan knew true happiness.

What might make some of you less happy, however, is our next destination. We're headed to the American heartland of Chicago, where our middleweights and heavyweights will be doing battle in that sleek, ritzy homage to classic film noir known fittingly as The Noir. Of course, it's not all a blast from the past. It's Chicago! There's musicals and theme parks, and gorgeous architecture, and a lake! Lots of good food too: polish sausage, deep dish pizza, and... I'm sure there's other stuff. Still don't like the location? Want something more 'exotic'? Hey, I didn't choose it! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


The Noir by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: The Noir

Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA

Layout: Square (with rounded corners)

Size: 50 ft x 50 ft - 2500 square feet

Intended Use: MW - SHW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Retrofuturistic Cyberpunk Noir

Floor Materials: painted steel

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • The Fatales (4) - These four slightly recessed floor spinners are lit up by strips of white LEDs. Once the match begins, each of the hazards' damage will scale up whenever they are driven over in the manner outlined below:

    - White: the first time that a hazard is driven over, it will spin slowly, dealing light damage. Following that contact, it will turn green.

    - Green: the second time that a hazard is driven over, it will spin at moderate RPM, dealing light to moderate damage. Following that contact, it will turn yellow.

    - Yellow: the third time that a hazard is driven over, it will spin somewhat quickly, dealing moderate damage. Following that contact, it will turn orange.

    - Orange: the fourth time that a hazard is driven over, it will spin at high RPM, dealing moderate to heavy damage. Following that contact, it will turn red.

    - Red: the fifth time that a hazard is driven over, it will be spinning at a vicious speed and will deal heavy damage, destroying the wheels and damaging the body panels of many bots. Following that contact, it will turn white and will not spin any faster for the remainder of the fight.
  • The Crooked Cop (1) - In the middle of the arena is a small hump with the ARC logo. It is not a damaging hazard, but it can spoil a box rush or high-center a bot with low enough ground clearance. Fortunately, it will retract to be flush with the floor after thirty seconds have passed in the match.
  • Low-down Dirty Rotten Walls (2) - All around the arena are two foot high walls at the base of the lexan. However, the lexan isn't present immediately behind each starting square where the bots are loaded in and out from. A good flip will send an opponent out of the arena proper and into the loading zone.

Achievement One: Tax Evasion - Last the entire three minutes without getting hit by the Fatales even once.
Earned by:
Show
Team 57: Remi 4 (CBC4 Round Three)
Team Rinzler: FusterCluck (CBC4 Round Three)
Achievement Two: Bloody Sunday - Get all four Fatales up to red over the course of the match.
Earned by:
Show
Tartarus Robotics Group: Santangelo (CBC4 Round Three)

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, February 28, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Middleweight

Heavyweight

Image

Results


Middleweight

Black Dog Division (A)

Unnamed & Untamed has a bye

Pressure Flop II vs Hoarfrost

Hoarfrost’s out of its square like lightning. Pressure Flop’s coming out at a bit of an angle, keeping that big turret pointed right at it. Hoarfrost’s being a bit cagey here – it darts in, then backs out, trying to bait an early hammer shot, but Pressure Flop isn’t falling for it! It’s strafing along kind of near-ish to the back wall. Now it comes out. Yeah, he’s not firing the hammer early. Hoarfrost finally just goes for it and rushes in. Pressure Drop fires, and it looks like he was aiming for the back of Hoarfrost anyway. It sort of connects, the hammer striking the rounded back section. It glances off, but still puts a big dent in it. Meanwhile, though, Hoarfrost slides in under it and tosses it on its back.

Take a look at those cute little shufflepod feet treading thin air! Oh, never mind, Pressure Flop vaults back upright, but Hoarfrost immediately rolls it onto its side again. This time there’s a little bit of awkward flailing and trying to roll itself around with the turret. It’s up again – ooh, but Laz’ gets to the side of the little wedgelet in front of the hammer and slips under it. Pressure Flop can’t hit it from that angle, and the wedgelet’s actually making it so the turret spins his chassis instead of the weapon. It’s getting taken toward the entry gate. Can Hoarfrost get a 177 lb bot over the wall? Not if Pressure Flop has anything to say about it. It thrashes the hammer violently and ends up with the turret at the right angle, but it’s basically parked on Hoarfrost’s wedge now and can’t reach its chassis. It gets taken to the wall, and flipped – ooh, but not quite out! It topples back into the arena, upside down again. It self-rights, but as it retracts the hammer Hoarfrost charges it again – uh oh, but charges up the wedgelet! Pressure Flop pushes it back, and fires!
But it gets a faceful of flipper, blocking the hammer’s arm! Oof, that looks like a nasty shock to Hoarfrost’s pneumatic system. Hoarfrost backs off, Pressure Flop starts moving away from the sidewall again, but Hoarfrost rushes it with the flipper still raised. Is the weapon damaged? No, now it comes down – on top of Pressure Flop! He’s got him clamped, but how much damage can he do with all the Fatales still on white? He’s taking him to the wall again, though, and bashes him against it before backing off and retracting the flipper fully. Pressure Flop’s poised for an attack… but misses as Hoarfrost jukes sideways. The shuffler gets scooped up with its turret off to the side again. There’s the drive, the flip – and Pressure Flop gets toppled over the wall into the loading zone!

Your winner, by OOTA in 0:46, is Hoarfrost!

Tower of Gray vs Lilly Frog & Jack Hammer

Technically speaking, this match is totally winnable for Pat if he uses the right strategy. You know, the ol' multibot 1-2 punch. Have the speedy wedge out as a distraction while the hammerbot bashes the opponent to mush with 7 8 (thank you hammer bonus) damage. All he's gotta to is- oh oops lilyfrog and jackhammer does the exact opposite of that and Tower of Grey flanks the hammerbot. The wedge comes in to try and save its friend, but it's to no avail. Jackhammer gets anticlimactically dropped into the pit, with Lilyfrog soon following.

Tower of Grey wins by lameout in 0:24.

Carapace vs Spinnerfood

Carapace moves in. there’s a hit to a pontoon, both bots separate. Spinnerfood gets up to speed. Carapace moves in. there’s a hit to a pontoon, both bots separate. Spinnerfood gets up to speed. Carapace moves in. there’s a hit to a pontoon, both bots separate. Spinnerfood gets up to speed. Carapace moves in. there’s a hit to a pontoon, both bots separate. Spinnerfood gets up to speed. Carapace moves in. there’s a hit to a pontoon, both bots separate. Spinnerfood gets up to speed.

Eventually carapace oversteers as spinnerfood attempts to back off, and it gives spinnerfood a shot at something approximating chassis. It had 8 armor and carapace died, that’s the important part.

Your winner, by KO in 1:33, is Spinnerfood!


Crash Blossom Division (B)

Magnolia Grande has a bye

The Act of Being Polite vs Skoll

Well, this match starts out with some confusion as far as deciding how both competitors want to orient their bots before the start of the match. HFL wants to run Skoll in the same orientation as TAoBP, while Ethan wants the opposite. This goes on for several minutes until the referee has to intervene and gives the final decision to HFL (since he RP’d first). OK, both bots are starting as overcutters, now let’s get this match underway!
~~
TAoBP quickly spins up and heads for the Crooked Cop in the center of the arena, but stops just short of the raised floor hazard, seeing if Skoll comes after him and he can use it as a ‘shield’. Skoll is patient, however, and waits to see not only what TAoBP’s first move is, but whether he changes blade direction. TAoBP doesn’t and now the Crooked Cop is lowered for the rest of the match and TAoBP will now have to settle for secondary strategy. Skoll closes in now and the weapon bars of both bots connect, but it’s just a minor deflection. They turn into each other again and TAoBP’s slightly longer reach connects with Skoll’s bar and sends it spinning away, but HFL recovers before Skoll smacks the wall. The two bots circle each other, each looking for any possible opening in vulnerable chassis armor. Skoll gets clipped again and gets spun away again. TAoBP also gyros somewhat and turns around some, looking unsteady from the gryo forces. Skoll recovers and HFL sees this as an opportunity to strike TAoBP It comes in and the false-edge bar allows TAoBP to be drawn in closer to Skoll just as its bar passes above Skoll and Skoll’s bar connects with the weapon hub of TAoBP. The hit smashes the cover of the weapon hub and debris goes flying as TAoBP is smacked into the arena wall. Skoll is also sent back from the recoil, but recovers relatively unscathed, spinning back up to meet TAoBP. Polite is moving, but the weapon is definitely out of commission after that blow. Ethan darts over towards the OOTA zone/hazards to bait Skoll, but no luck. TAoBP then drives into Skoll’s weapon as a ‘hail Mary’ attempt to kill it from its own impact, but it just results in TAoBP’s right wheel getting blown to smithereens and one more blow later, that’s all she wrote!

Skoll wins by KO in 1:24!

Acrid vs Nick Cage

The fight starts with Acrid lifting it's saw arm up, and Nick cage getting a good flame going, while driving around like someone is in desperate need of a breathalyzer. Acrid gets trapped in, but in some weird turn of events similar to that of a weird vore plot twist, Acrid just starts bullying Nick Cage around the arena ruthlessly. This goes on for 3 minutes, and the audience has a good laugh.

JD:
Damage: 4-1 Nick Cage
Aggression: 3-2 Acrid
Control: 5-0 Acrid

Your winner is acrid by a 12-3 decision!

Paradox vs V-Trigger

Both bots first start by trying to get around each other, with Paradox being the better controlled one as well as initially going faster than V-Trigger until both get to their drive top speed. V-Trigger soon tries to angle in on Paradox, only to turn at last second to catch Paradox off-guard. However, GF reacts quickly and manages to get away, before countering by getting its forks underneath the front wedge, only for V-Trigger to slip away. But Paradox quickly gets back into it and this time uppercut the front wedge and forcing it to selfright. This gives Paradox the opportunity to chain hits, which eventually warps the wedge on V-Trigger upward.

V-Trigger soon gets away and tries to escape while finding a way to destroy the lifting forks on Paradox again with its wedge, baiting Paradox again by faking an angling so it can get to the part with clearance, but escapes when GF anticipates it again. TBR soon tries to play the fight defensively and striking when he gets the chance, but GF has none of it and pursues V-Trigger, eventually getting under again and uppercutting it again.

With V-Trigger controlled, Paradox first brings it to the Fatales, which lightly scratches the underside of V-Trigger. Paradox soon manages to get under V-Trigger repeatedly, bringing it to the same Fatales until its white again, breaking a wheel and damaging the baseplate. Paradox then takes it to another Fatales before it can try to move, subjecting it completely to the point that the other wheel is destroyed too and a hole occurred on the baseplate. As a final attack, Paradox tries to push V-Trigger out of the arena through the low wall as the countdown is happening after V-Trigger is unable to show cob trolled movement, and one second before it finishes, V-Trigger is successfully pushed out by the lifters.

Winner: Paradox by OOTA (2:07)


Diablo Genesis Division (C)

Diablo Genesis III has a bye

Space Bee vs Momma Bear

I'm not sure if the paint job for Space Bee is horrific or brilliant. I'm also not sure why Gabe didn't throw up an RP. Life is full of mysteries, isn't it? What isn't mysterious is Momma Bear and Co. taking the inert Space Bee to task. The den has its fun shoving Space Bee around to hazards for a little while, trying to find the most creative tag team escapades. Eventually they decide to just get on with tossing the hapless Space Bee out of the arena. With a small amount of combined effort Space Bee is sent off to Never Never Land.

Momma Bear wins by TKO in 1:49

Pizza 2 vs Here Comes the Sun

Pizza spins up, whilst the sun approaches, and launches, high into the air, before landing directly atop Pizza with a nasty crunch. Pizza hobbles around the ring, whilst the sun tries to free itself, but seemingly can't. Hmm. A bit more pushing and nudging only seems to wedge it deeper. Eventually, the match is called, with the sun still immobilized inside Pizza. The judges opt to give it to Pizza, by virtue of it still being able to move during all of this.

Pizza 2 wins by technically a KO in 2:00.

Remi 4 vs Dragonfist

The match starts off, and Remilia makes a swift dodge around the center bump, ramming directly into Dragonfist! The flails claw at Remi's drum axle a tad, but I'm sure that won't come into play later on in the match! Haha foreshadowing.

In any case, Dragonfist proceeds to get shoved around and bullied a bunch by Remi for about a minute, accumulating some scratches courtesy of whatever wack-ass term MW decided to use in lieu of "floor spinners". Dragonfist has some chunky armor however, and this ultimately does not do a ton of damage to all the bits that make the wheels go nyoom and the flails go wee.

What does do a ton of damage, however, is Dragonfist slamming it's big fuckin BALLS into Remi's weapon supports for something like the 5th time this match. That bends it juuust out of shape enough for the drum to suddenly stall, which Remi recoils upward from for a split second. She backs off, before going on the prowl again.

Dragonfist isn't done yet, though. It tears into Remilia's wedge, yoinking it off with a couple more hits. With the front practically shredded, Dragonfist begins making some substantial cheap shots toward those tasty treads... until the buzzer conveniently rings. Normally I'd include some sort of psuedo-suspenseful quip about "is it too little too late guise??", but given Dragonfist was about to tear into Remilia like a (insert distasteful comment about Touhou... "fan comics" here), I think this is game set and match.

AGG: 3-2 Dragonfist
DMG: 5-0 Dragonfist
CTL: 4-1 Remi 2

Dragonfist wins by an 9-6 judge's decision.

Remi 4 has earned the achievement 'Tax Evasion'

Image

Heavyweight

Hellhound Division (A)

The No Fun Machine has a bye

Electro-Death vs Santangelo

Electro-Death first starts out by rushing into the center of the arena before going around, with Santangelo already in the area too. It soon becomes an aggressive chasing game as Electro-Death tries to get into Santangelo while it also pursues Electro-Death, trying to make it oversteer. However, Santangelo also seems to be willing to make itself hit, as Electro-Death gets under and starts juggling it to the Fatales. Electro-Death manages to keep Santangelo there until the floor spinner turns orange, where Santangelo escapes.

The two bots soon engage in a chase again, with Electro-Death going aggressive and trying to trick Santangelo, while the latter tries to turn constantly while on the pursuit to force Electro-Death into oversteering or gyroing. However, it has no luck for now as Electro-Death doesn't suffer both significantly. Electro-Death soon gets under again and starts chucking, this time doing even better as Santangelo is herded into the orange Fatales, with Santangelo landing right wheel first into it, which tears some rubber off it. Electro-Death, which is waiting for Santangelo to be chucked back, soon gets under again and forces it to the red Fatales once more, which also tears chunks of the left wheel.

As Santangelo tries to drive while struggling a bit with it due to the damaged wheels, Electro-Death oversteers, allowing Santangelo to exploit it by getting under Electro-Death and then driving it to another Fatales while occasionally tipping it over to prevent Electro-Death from escaping. It then herds Electro-Death there two times, which scratches the baseplate and wheels. However, Santangelo is then able to get another little flip in, which shreds chunks out of a back wheel in Electro-Death when it lands on the Fatales.

Electro-Death immediately tries to escape and Santangelo gives chase, managing to catch the opponent again and chucking it to yet another Fatales, which also scratches Electro-Death, but it escapes before it can get thrown into the now-orange third Fatales. Santangelo then gets under again, but Electro-Death escapes before it can even get thrown into a hazard. Unfortunately, it doesn't last long as Santangelo is able to control it again and throw it to the third Fatales, tearing more chunks out of a wheel. Santangelo then pushes Electro-Death into the now-red Fatales, tearing the damaged back wheel off.

Electro-Death can still move following this due to having four wheels, but with only three wheels, it struggles to do so and is also slowed down. Santangelo takes advantage of this by chucking Electro-Death into the second Fatales, tearing rubbers out of a front wheel, then follows up with another push that breaks it too. Now with only one working back wheel and a working front wheel on the other side, Electro-Death is easily outwedged and pushed by Santangelo, which quickly takes it to the last working Fatales and keeps it there until the hazard goes through all four lights, significantly shredding the remaining back wheel. With Electro-Death crippled, it tries to crabwalk, but it isn't enough to save it from a countdown as Santangelo gets a flip that tips it on its back.

Winner: Santangelo by KO (2:44)

Tartarus Robotics Group has earned the achievement 'Bloody Sunday'

Petaflare vs Wallop

The bots start out pretty much deadlocked in terms of not really being able to outmaneuver each other and causing any significant damage, either. Petaflare tries to drive in on the corners of Wallop while Wallop tries to bait Petaflare into angling in so it can get to its lesser armored sides. While Petaflare does manage a few grabs and sinks its crusher into Wallop, it doesn’t seem to do any internal damage to the TBR machine. Wallop backs away and baits Petaflare into angling in, but turns and slips under Petaflare and uppercuts it. Wallop is on the attack now and chases after Petaflare, which has landed on its side. Tri desperately tries to right his bot, but the crusher arm is painfully slow-moving compared to Wallop, which sinks its disk into the exposed bottom of Petaflare, bouncing it off the arena wall. Wallop then chains a few more hits before Petaflare is able to get back onto its wheels. It is heavily damaged, and the bottom armor plate which took two direct hits from Wallop is hindering the bot from driving properly. There is also hydraulic fluid seeping from the crusher arm. Petaflare limps around just enough to avoid a count-out, but Wallop herds it over to one of the OOTA zones behind the starting squares and lines up a shot and sends the birb bot flying out of the arena!

Wallop wins by KO (OOTA) in 2:11!

Padoru Machina vs FusterCluck

Okay, we’ve got two fastboi vertical spinners, and a nice big arena for them to play around in. Both bots are spinning up – oh, very quickly, Padoru’s drum is geared very low and it’s booking it across the arena while Fustercluck dodges away. These are both pretty quick machines – and there’s a little pop from Padoru Machina on the corner of Fustercluck’s wedge. It doesn’t flip it, but it spins it around, and PM’s in under the side, nibbling at the wheelguard but not really doing anything. Ooh, and it gets some bite, but ends up with FC propped on top of it. It’s pushing it towards the corner where a Fatale waits for it, but Fustercluck gets enough traction to spin itself away. It exposes its rear, but takes another little pop on the rear armor.

So far no damage done, but Fustercluck’s reeling a bit, taking shot after shot. It’s finally knocked on its roof, but launches itself back over with the clutch flipper. Now it’s on the run, trying to spin back up… does so… oh, and gets a good hit on Padoru, tossing it into the air and flipping it over. Padoru’s turn to run away, immediately slamming itself into the wall – ouch, wedgelets-first. It bounces off and tips sideways, but didn’t make contact with the drum. It tries again, but just grinds up against the wall without really biting in. In the meantime here comes Fustercluck, and gets another big hit! Padoru’s back over now, though, and hasn’t really taken much damage besides little cuts into its armor.
And there’s a lot more of this: Fustercluck mostly getting hits in edgewise, but it does get a good chain that tosses Padoru onto a Fatale at one point. It’s white at this point and the drumbot gets spat back out, though. Padoru’s doing most of the not much in this fight: that’s the only way to put it. It’s getting a lot of little pops, but it doesn’t have the power to even be that good at flipping Fustercluck around. It successfully self-rights with the wall I think… once? The thing’s got kind of narrow front skids though, and even without much gyroscopic force it tends to tip sideways like a wheelbarrow and doesn’t drive particularly well when inverted, which leads to it getting tossed around a lot by Fustercluck.

This one ends up going the full 3 minutes. Padoru’s done… scratches to Fustercluck. It hasn’t taken much damage either, but one of the little side wedgelets is gone, the other’s bent up, and there’s several nicks in the main wedge as well as a bunch of gouges in the sides and back. One of Padoru’s top rollers also got torn off due to it attacking Fustercluck while it was inverted and whacked from above by the disc.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Padoru Machina 2, Fustercluck 3
Aggression: Padoru Machina 3, Fustercluck 2
Control: Padoru Machina 2, Fustercluck 3

Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision, is Fustercluck!

FusterCluck has earned the achievement 'Tax Evasion'


Black Diamond Division (B)

linkinparknumb.mp3.exe has a bye

Xtreme pneumatiX vs Glacier III

Oh, great, a walker. This ought to be an exciting, fast-based tactical battle (sarcasm).

Glacier starts spinning up its huge spinning ring, and strafes out of its square to the side. Xtreme Pneumatix rushes it, but has to go around the middle bollard thingy. Still, Glacier doesn’t get that far before XP gets under it. The shield gets lifted up by its wedge, and sparks fly as Glacier makes contact. It’s glancing contact though, and still leaves it close to the wall. XP wedges in again, shoving it towards the wall, flips – oh, ouch, I felt that! You were really dumb enough to try to flip that with a ring spinner under the shields?

Well, XP’s flipper arm is now severely bent to the side, and Glacier hockeypucks itself about fifteen feet away, and… sooort of coins? It’s still spinning, and is now the only bot with a functional weapon. Uh oh, and up come the shields. Glacier smells blood! And all XP can really do is ram it… ahh, but it comes in from the side, where the shields can’t move as much, and is pushing against them with the crippled flipper. However it’s struggling to actually move Glacier’s considerable girth. Glacier pivots around and gets a decent hit on the corner of the wedge.

F A S T. P A C E D. T A C T I C A L. B A T T L E.

So long story short Xtreme Pneumatix’s strategy works for around a minute until Glacier lifts itself up on the shields, rolls sideways, and catches the flipper again, tearing it off. Glacier then proceeds to hit the floor, does its best impression of the villain in Rubber, and smashes its shield into the wall hard enough that the rods supporting it are now completely warped and the shields are stuck in a partially-raised position. Fortunately this position has the weapon exposed at the bottom, and it tears some massive holes through XP’s wedge until it eventually stops moving.

Your winner, by knockout in 2:08, is Glacier III!

Fork Bomb vs Pink Wedge 2020

Fork Bomb does opt to use the... forks.
Well technically Pink Wedge 2020 chooses to use the wedge but that is the only option so it doesn't count :V
Fork Bomb starts the fight facing backwards and chooses to stay in it's starting square for a bit, meanwhile Pink Wedge 2020 rushes out of the square and heads to the nearest fatale and bops it with the wedge, activating it. Then Pat goes for the next fatale, and the next one and the...
It takes a few seconds for Hii to realize what is going on before he decides to come out and try to intercept the pink wedge, but the wedgebot is too fast for Fork Bomb and just drives past it at full speed like if it wasn't there. Several seconds later Pat activates the fourth fatale for the second time and soon all of them will be yellow.
Pat decides that now we can actually start the fight.
Close to the end of that sequence Hii gave up on intercepting and went back to the defensive formation of facing backwards, he did it late enough to not cost him many aggression points. This does come in handy as Pat then decided to get closer by charging forwards as Hii expected, Pat tries to go around but quickly eats a hit in the corner of the wedge, the damage doesn't seem to be much but it did get thrown quite a bit but it landed upright. The spinner tried to chain a hit but the clamp managed to barely get away.
After that, now that both bots are rather close Fork Bomb quickly backed off a bit changed directions to face it's opponent with the forks. Pink Wedge 2020 went for a flanking maneuver, this causes the spinner to gyro a bit, giving a Pat a small window to get under the side and he very much did use it. Pink Wedge uses its weapon to clamp the Fork's forks from the side while pushing it to the nearest fatale (currently yellow) at a unimpressive speed. Fork Bomb goes for a sneaky defensive move and presses the lifter into the ground, taking the hit with the lifter instead of the squishy wheels. Pat tries to push Fork Bomb into the fatale again before it stops spinning but fails massively.
So they separate and then Pat goes in again, but this time he doesn't pull off the gyro bait thing. This means that Fork Bomb gets under and hits it with an overhead attack in the softer chasis. Pat was massively surprised when he realized that his bot actually survived a hit.
Then repeat the last paragraph, the hit happened on the other side of Pink's chasis this time.
After taking two big hits, Patrick figures that he really needs to not get hit again and goes HARD on flanking, doing several donuts around Fork Bomb until he finds a small opening and uses it with impressive driving skills (kinda unexpected from Pat tbh). The clamp engages for the second time and Pink pushes Fork to the now orange fatale, this time its a far bigger struggle to get there thanks to Hii putting a better fight in driving, but eventually they get there and the lifter tanks the hit again. The arm gets bent a bit, just enough to be noticeable.
Anyways the get apart and go around a bit before attacking again, Fork Bomb get under and lands another overhead hit right in the middle of Pink's chasis, but thankfully the clamp so far behind that it doesn't get hit. The top plate is pretty much destroyed by now. Then Pat goes hard on flanking again, manages to force a mistake, get under and the fight is over lol.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Fork Bomb 4, Pink Wedge 2020 1
Aggression: Fork Bomb 2, Pink Wedge 2020 3
Control: Fork Bomb 1, Pink Wedge 2020 4

Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision, is Pink Wedge 2020!

KILL 'EM ALL! vs Outrage 3

Kill Em All gets moving quickly whilst Outrage spins up, the two bots colliding as Kill Em All launches its hammer, Outrage's chassis pivoting as the blade is stopped, Kill Em All's hammer landing on the chassis, visibly buckling the long bot downwards. Outrage is still able to spin up, though the blade's pretty close to the floor, and- Ooh, a second wedging from Kill Em All manages to slam Outrage back into the wall, although not without some major damage to themselves, one of the front wedges slipping from its housing! Shaba doesn't seem deterred, lining up a second hammer strike, buckling the machine into a rough banana shape. Outrage is barely able to drive straight in the brief moment it gets off of the wall before being struck again, this time fully warping the chassis into the blade's path. The bullying continues in similar fashion for a little while longer, before Outrage's wheel hub begins smoking, shortly before the entire bot shuts off.

Kill Em All wins by KO in 1:11.


Broken Ghost Division (C)

Dreadnought Mk.4 has a bye

Swamp Thing vs Defenestrator

Defenestrator’s longer forks allow HFL the ever-so-slight advantage of getting under Swamp Thing’s flipper, but Swamp Thing’s shape, at least from a head-on angle, makes it difficult for Defenestrator to capitalize and use his clamp/lifter combo to any real advantage. ST manages to slip out and does get under Defenestrator’s forks a few times, but the problem is that Swamp Thing’s flipper plate doesn’t extend to the very bottom of the front and Defenestrator is too quick and agile for ST to get in a good flip. It gets a decent partial flip about halfway through the match and Defenestrator lands on its side, but its lifter/clamp is powerful enough to get the bot self righted before ST can really capitalize. Defenestrator backs away while also baiting ST to angle in and fire its flipper into its open clamp. Swamp Thing fires the flipper into the clamp...which does little besides make both bots jump into the air, momentarily. Code backs off, then starts driving more aggressively. He gets another decent shot on Defenestrator, but several more that miss, completely, and at one point, ST ends up flipping itself over. ST quickly self rights and goes back in for the attack, trying to get Defenestrator over to one of the OOTA zones.
~~

But, HFL isn’t falling for that and keeps his bot away from where ST might have a chance at throwing Defenestrator OOTA. Defenestrator also gets all of the Fatales to green. The two bots tangle some more before Defenestrator finally catches ST at a good angle and clamps down on its side and into a wheel well. Defenestrator then lifts ST off the ground while driving over to one of the OOTA zones. Can HFL get him out? Defenestrator lines up with the opening and starts to back-throw Swamp Thing, but ST manages to escape mid-arc! It comes crashing to the floor, but inverted. Defenestrator swings around and scoops up the flipper bot before it can self-right. But, Code pops the flipper and ST escapes again! Wow, talk about skill and luck there! ST backs away, but Defenestrator is there in front of the OOTA zone and Code’s just gotta take the chance here with less than 30 seconds remaining. Swamp Thing dives in and gets under Defenestrator...but nothing happens. Oh no, I think Swamp Thing has run out of CO2, its flipper’s dead now! Defenestrator brings the clamp down on ST before it can retreat again and shoves it over to the corner and over one of the Fatales. It chews up ST’s tires some just as time is called and this will go to the judges!

Damage: 4-1 Defenestrator

Aggression: 3-2 Swamp Thing

Control: 3-2 Defenestrator

Defenestrator wins by a 9-6 Judges’ Decision!

Icebreaker vs Tabor Mark 4

why isnt icebreaker a hammer
ya dont break ice with a flipper damnit.
Also rocket c’mon girl lifters gonna stay scraping on the ground normally they’re functional hinged wedges pressing has always meant pressing INTO the ground colloquially in this group. Ya gotta do this specification you did this time for the next little while while people get used to you redefining it, then slowly abbreviate it again.
The star of the show overall was definitely Tabor’s defensive driving: rocket has the advantage in wedge reach and in having a goddamned turret, and super knew it even in his pre-fight interview: the question is whether his plans work out, and they don’t really: she’s ready for it and has the turret to protecc and lift icebreaker out of the way long enough to turn and face him – and even when he gets under, it’s uuusually just turret and uuusualy tabor doesn’t get flipped.
The one time that super actually made it complete past rocket’s defense he really got a lot out of it – over a half minute of complete domination, keeping tabor off-balance, in the air, or on a hazard, and just generally making rocket look like a human fighting a gorilla. The problem in this fight is that once the person finally got up and grabbed the giant spear it was using to defend itself with the gorilla could never get back in again.

That was an awful analogy sorry

Anywho yeah tabor was lucky and/or skillful enough to not have that happen again, and actually gets in some pretty decent runs of advantage as the match continues– a few flips, and one hazard trip, the turret letting her keep control of a still mobile icebreaker.

Aggression: 3-2 Icebreaker
Damage: 3-2 Icebreaker
Control: 4-1 Tabor

Your winner, in an 8-7 decision, is Tabor!

Long Arm of the Law vs Killer Queen

Well I guess since I wrote KQ as not having proper mecanum last week I have to this week even tho he definitely coulda fixed that. Whoops. Anywho hide decides it would be funny to camp and we all boo him for it. Nighthawk does eventually find what he thinks is an opening because he’s not going to fucking drive into the obvious floor hazard why the hell would he do tha- oh he got flipped into it instead. He gets blendered and tossed across the arena, just close enough that KQ gets to him as he finishes righting himself and sends him on another flying adventure as KQ pulls its signature faceplant.

We reset. They edge for positioning before LAoTL gets under for the first time, shoving his opponent up and over, into a floor spinner. It muches on some plastic, but it also sends KQ free, and he runs away while self righting, eventually forcing a neutral. LAoTL breaks that pretty much immediately though, but Killer Queen slides off and to the right of the arm before he can get much out of it.
KQ’s finally able to get underneath Long arm again, and sends him up on his back wheels and juuust barely over. Hide maneuvers such as to try and take LAoTL towards one of the hazards, but just falls short of actually getting him there before he rights himself. Still gets to chase LAoTL around for a bit though.

KQ gets under one more time and is able to give LAoTL a short but flashy hazard tour. Long Arm of the Law gets in one real nice long engagement where he slowly backs KQ into a corner as KQ tries to bait with the spinners again. Eventually he flips KQ into the spinner, gets back under him, and gets another good pin up against the wall that KQ can’t escape from because of the shape of its flipper. Can you say run on sentence? The ending of the match is in LAoTL’s favor, but he can’t make anything major out of it – though perhaps that was enough to secure the match?

Aggression: 4-1 Long Arm of The Law

Damage: 3-2 Killer Queen

Control: 3-2 Long Arm of The Law

Your winner, in a 9-6 decision, is Long Arm of The Law!

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Four Fight Card (FW & LW): Hall of Ice and Wind

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Mar 01, 2020 11:01 am

Hey, ladies and gents. Nice to see you again. Well, Chicago was a pretty good time, but it was pretty windy too, lemme tell you. TBR nearly got blown off his feet, only to be rescued by Alex V, who also rescued a cat from a tree this week. Yup, he didn't even beat it up. I'd say he's well on his way to being fully reformed. Dylan visited Chicagoland Speedway, along with Super, DJ, and a few of the other good ol' American NASCAR boys. They even got to have a race. DJ dominated the straightaways, but Dylan caught him on the final turn and it was photo finish. We know who won, but we're not telling anyone. Sorry. We found Hide, not hiding in his hometown. He showed a few of the more wide-eyed people around. Laz and Josh went to see the Al Capone museum, some of the girls went shopping (but not in that super girly way, because ARC girls don't do that), and Gabe got a voucher for one of those hipster kitchen places where you cook, and made a delicious monstrosity using only vegetarian ingredients. Billy did tourist things. Maxi saw an opera for some reason, and everyone sat down for a nice big piping hot Chicago-style deep dish in the evening. Finally, as we were just about to head off, DJ staggered into an alley to puke his guts out and ran into our other resident Chicagoan, Drew, also puking his guts out. Truly a happy ending to an interesting week.

That leaves us headed to our next destination on a high note, and what a destination it is! We're off to Siberia. That's right: freakin' Siberia! Our featherweights and lightweights will do battle in the frozen reaches of Hall of Ice and Wind, in Yakutsk, Russia. Of course, it's not all cold and misery. It's Russia! You just know that hijinks are going to happen! Also, the first of our rumbles - Brick Brawl - will take place this week at Buzludzha in Kran, Bulgaria! Please check out the rumble thread for that. Feeling lazy? Don't wanna click a bit? Hey, I didn't come up with the idea! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.


Image


Hall Of Ice And Wind by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: Hall of Ice and Wind (Зал льда и ветра)

Location: Yakutsk, Sakha Republic, Russia

Layout: Hourglass-shaped

Size: 40 ft x 40 ft with two large triangular cutouts - 1400 square feet

Intended Use: FW - MW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Snow, ice, and winter in a remote, old-fashioned outpost

Floor Materials: concrete

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • Stabbing Cold (2) - These colossal (2.5 foot), pneumatically-powered steel icicles occupy the two eastern corners of the arena in groups of sixteen. They shoot up from the floor one at a time to impale, flip, and high-center bots foolish enough to drive over them, each shot dealing moderate damage. Each icicle will fire 0.5 seconds after the last and will retract after 1 second. When all icicles under your bot have fired, they will retract and remain that way for 2 seconds before starting up again.
  • Depths of Winter (2) - Located directly across from each other and creating a pinch point in between them, these roughly triangular pits have three-foot tall walls and a total depth of six feet, meaning that once the Siberian winter claims you, there is no coming back.

Achievement: Wise Retreat - Escape the Stabbing Cold after taking only a single shot.

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, March 7, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Image

Results


Featherweight

Firebird Division (A)

NRG 2 has a bye

Gabrial vs Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2

Both bots start off quickly, with Gabrial rushing in and launching a strike on Seed Killer immediately, throwing itself up in the air. Billy retaliates quickly, slamming the blade into the wheels with a mighty THOCK! It actually manages to embed in the flimsy plastic, both bots struggling for a bit, before Seed Killer manages to retract, hauling Gabrial up and over the entire bot, splitting a fat chunk off of the wheel as it lands, and nearly topples Seed Killer over in the process! As Gabrial flails, its one-and-a-half wheels insufficient to get it back upright again, Seed Killer turns and delivers the final blow, directly onto the chassis. Seed Killer backs off as a plume of Lipo smoke erupts from the fallen machine, its flailing coming to a stop.

Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2 wins by KO in 0:47.

Black Dog vs I Can't Believe it's not Tanto

ICBINT guns it at BD at the start but Laz sees this coming and pre-emptively J-hooks away using BD’s weapon gyro. BD then swings back in to feast on some tasty corners of ICBINT’s wedges, but Ethan is just a little to agile for BD to get a decent chomp - it’s more like a nibble. ICBINT backs away some from being too close to the OOTA zones in the middle of the arena before lining up another run on Black Dog. BD swings wide again, but this time, it’s a bit too much gyro and BD ends up showing his rear to ICBINT. Ethan guns it, using that 3 torque to ram BD hard into one of the Stabbing Cold hazards in the corner. BD gets stabbed by 2 icicles before being able to move off of the hazard. One looks like it penetrated BD’s chassis armor, but the bot seems unaffected. ICBINT is waiting for BD and jumps on it, but BD swings wide with a little less gyro this time and catches a corner of ICBINT and it’s drum sends ICBINT flying. It lands close but not over the OOTA wall. Ethan quickly backs away before BD can capitalize and tries to lure it back to one of the hazard squares. BD isn’t buying that and backs away towards the other end of the arena while turning and showing his wheels, as if taunting ICBINT.
~
Ethan shows a box-rush, but suddenly stops before BD can react. It’s already turned to swing into his corners in anticipation. ICBINT sees the opening and slips his wedges under BD and slams him into the closest wall. BD revs the drum to max power to use the gyro to free himself, but it’s stuck between ICBINT’s stoppers and the wall. ICBINT backs off and allows BD to back away some to get some space. One minute left in the match and BD ups the aggression, chasing after ICBINT and getting a few more hits to his front. The wedge tips look pretty beat up now and that’s slowing ICBINT down, but not by much. It still outmaneuvers BD a few more times, as well. Both bots are putting on a tremendous show of driving skill with a few nice weapon hits courtesy of Black Dog. Laz wants to get that OOTA in the closing seconds, but I Can’t Believe it’s not Tanto has done a stellar job at not giving him much of an opportunity in doing so. And...5, 4, 3, 2, 1...this match is over! Wow, who won that? I have no idea, myself, but that’s what the judges are for, right? I definitely do not envy them right now, that’s for sure!

Damage: 3-2 Black Dog

Aggression: 3-2 Black Dog

Control: 3-2 ICBINT

Black Dog wins by 8-7 Judges’ Decision!

Puffy Cloud vs Vindicator

Code parks Puffy Cloud in the starting square, waiting for Vindicator to come out and pl- huWOAH holy shit that thing's FLYING. Admittedly it's only going slightly faster than it's opponent, but it gets up to that speed way faster than Puffy Cloud's able to get to it's own top speed. 32* times faster, to be exact.

After the initial spectacle of a few rams worthy of making a crash test dummy blush, that's pretty much where the excitement ends. Vindicator either bumps into Puffy Cloud's front/side for zilch damage, or Puffy Cloud brings the saw down and somehow does even less damage within the few seconds that it's able to hold Vindicator still. Imagine having an active "weapon" and not being able to harm a robot with 5 armor. Jeeesus Christ. But hey, at least Vindicator's able to get a few pot shots in courtesy of The Fatales. Hardly enough for a convincing KO, but it's something.

AGG: 4-1 Vindicator
DMG: 3-2 Vindicator
CTL: 4-1 Vindicator

Vindicator wins by a 11-4 judge's decision.

* A 7 torque bot actually takes 0.03125 seconds to get to max speed, not 0.64. Acceleration is determined by "2 / 2 ^ (tor - 1)", and Puffy Cloud takes 1 second to accelerate with it's 2 torque. 1 / 0.03125 = 32.


Vorpal Bunny Division (B)

Gas Gas Gas has a bye

The Grand Vizier vs Irritant

Irritant definitely lives up to its name in this match and constantly badgers Vizier around, even getting a small flip in here and there. Vizier shrugs those off and fights back with its powerful drum and tries to flip it over the OOTA wall, but no luck. Irritant drives around Vizier like a mosquito flying around one’s head, but Vizier can’t quite squash the bug due to it’s good drivetrain and decent armor. Josh backs off some and waits patiently for Irritant to attempt another angle-in maneuver. Vizier turns and catches him with the drum, then chains a few more blows. Irritant manages to self-right and back away, but now it’s caught in a hazard corner. TBR guns it at Vizier and gets his flipper under. He’s got TGV right against the OOTA wall...oh, wait, the flipper has only 2 weapon. Oh well, that would’ve been the perfect OOTA opportunity. TGV just bounces off of the stone wall and back almost onto Irritant. TBR continues to do his best to pester TGV until the end of the match, though not doing much in the way of controlling him. This will go to the judges!

Damage: 4-1 The Grand Vizier

Aggression: 3-2 Irritant

Control: 3-2 Irritant

The Grand Vizier wins by 8-7 Judges’ Decision!

Untitled Goose Robot vs Ori

Ori vs Untitled Goose robot
This music slaps btw. Also down and dirty version since im not close to my dice and its Thursday. Unfortunately for those of us who were hoping for an exciting match with lots of fun hazard use, we instead get a string of neutral engagements with neither end really taking any advantage ever – Untitled goose robot never manages to get a good hazard herd: most of the times he gets under he’s near the center of the arena, and ori manages to get itself free just before they make it to the spikes. UGR does manage to bully Ori into one of the starting squares for a bit and eat some clock there, though.

Ori on the other hand is clearly losing in the pushing power fight, and it’s really affecting HFL’s ability to actively influence the match, even with a speed advantage. Most of the time he ends up wedge-locked with UGR, and is forced to use the flipper as a spacing tool more than anything else. When he does get under it’s usually because UGR wheelied and occasionally because he got the spatula in under UGR at just enough of an angle to catch noah off guard for a half second. He always flips immediately though, and noah’s not stupid enough to attack with his back to hazards that could end the match for him.

Aggression: 3-2 Untitled Goose Robot
Damage: 3-2 Ori
Control: 3-2 Ori
Your winner, in an 8-7 decision, is Ori!

Chinesium II vs Wasp 2

The fight begins and Chinesium spins in place as expected while Wasp goes straight for, the spikes? Super sees this and takes the opportunity to move his bot away from the walls a little bit, then Wasp reaches it's target and turns in place to charge at Chinesium at full speed in a perfectly straight line. Interesting maneuver i must say.

Chinesium is at full speed, Wasp is charging at full speed, China turns a bit at the last second and big hit happens. It looks like a race car crash but each of the bots are in a different kind of crash. Wasp gets yoinked sideways straight into the pit wall face first while Chinesium drifts off at high speed in the opposite direction while the entire bot spins a lot. It looks like the bar caught the lower edge of Wasp's plow as there is a nice gouge on it.

Then both bots recover just fine, Wasp has to turn around to face it's opponent, giving it time to fully spin up again before eating plow with it's face. This new hit sends both bots away but isn't as impressive. Few seconds after Wasp is back at it again but Chiesium does some surprising driving and turns in place in the right time and place to land another big hit right where it landed the first one.

DJ gets real now and in the next ram manages to not get screwed over and pushes Chinesium spinner scraping like if it was nothing and get a good wall slam followed by a nice wall pin. When Wasp inevitably backs off to let the spinner go Super catches something and lands a decent hit that makes it bounce against the wall he just was held against and sends Wasp right into the nearby corner where the spinner started.

Chinesium ended near his opponent facing it, Wasp has its face against a corner, the planets have aligned, RNJesus has spoken, it's time. Made in China hits the back of the insect, bending the chasis, annihilating one of the wheels, mangling a second one and probably something else. The wedgebot still works tho.

DJ is mad now, he gets away and gets a good ram followed by a wall slam followed by wall pin, he then lets go because rules only for him to do it again. The control game gets real now, somehow. Seriously why are we seeing better driving? anyway then he does the wall slam/pin again. Fast forwards 20 seconds another charge incoming and oof we get another big hit just like the first one, the plow on Wasp seems to have a bit of sideways play now, but its still functional.

Next DJ gets in a good position and does the ram but this time he shoves the spinner into the Stabbing Cold. 10 seconds of 16 ouchies later gets free and seems like it didn't lose any functionality, the bottom plate may be gouged but we can't actually see it se idk. Anyways Chinesium can move now and we get ~45 seconds of Wasp Clownstomping over Chinesium all over the arena and with like 8 seconds to go Wasp goes for one last ram and we get a massive last hit! Both bots get sent far away, Chinesium notably goes airborne and bounces off a wall in mid air and the fight ends shortly after it lands.

Will Chinesium early domination and big damage give it the win or will Wasp's arena control (the entire fight was on Chinesium's starting side), surprising resistance and overwhelming control in the later half of the fight be enough to snatch that decision?

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Chinesium 5, Wasp 0
Aggression: Chinesium 1, Wasp 4
Control: Chinesium 2, Wasp 3

Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision, is Chinesium!


Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)

Lil' Yeetums has a bye

Mimi-Chan vs Taipan

The fight starts, and Mimi-Chan just darts right at Taipan in ridiculous speed at straight line while Taipan dodges it. The PC-98 Touhou and Dream Team bot immediately crashes into the arena wall and disintegrates, destroying both it and the part of the wall it hits.

Winner: Taipan by KO (0:12)

CIRCUITZ vs Black Salvo

Before the fight, Dylan is unable to attend it, so a backup driver is assigned instead. In the fight, the backup driver is nervous and is unable to be aggressive on CIRCUITZ. Instead, Jules just scoops up Black Salvo after rushing and strafing to a vulnerable part, and then immediately follows with a flip, which sends Black Salvo several feet. CIRCUITZ is able to quickly get into it and eventually gets another flip that sends Black Salvo out of the arena.

Winner: CIRCUITZ by FF OOTA (0:16)

Nikkousen vs Finishing Move

I forget if it was Monsterworks or someone else that got on Gabe's case over having the "oh this isn't a lifter it's a 1 point hammer u guise :^) :^)" on his robot, but if it was you, then tsk tsk.

Both parts of Nikkousen decide to split up... and they both actually CHARGE at FM head-on instead of the typical flank2win strategy multibots use. How does this play out? Not too bad, actually. FM has a fair bit of trouble getting under either of the doorstop wedges, lending an early control advantage to NKK. Granted, they're not easily able to end the match. Those flippers don't have the juice to even get FM halfway up the wall, let alone bend it's chassis in half. They attempt the spikes, but FM is able to clap back with it's spinner and avoids having its wheels insta-exploded by the 3 damage pistons.

...but "managed to not die" isn't exactly something that'll impress the judges. FM needs to come up with something, and quick. It stumbles around for another dozen seconds or so before managing to slide it's wedgelets underneath NKK's, pops it right in the kisser, and she goes flying halfway across the arena! You missed the OOTA pit by a good 90 degrees, but it's a start. Seeing an opening, FM pounces for the kill. As much of a kill as 2 damage can possible be, at least. FM and half of NKK grind up against the wall like a couple of drunk partygoers while the other part of NKK tries to break up the lovefest. FM eventually backs off, turns around, and pimpslaps that other part RIGHT into the pit. Hii audibly says "bruh" and spends the rest of the match playing defense with the remaining multibot. I think that's a wrap, folks.

AGG: 3-2 Finishing Move
DMG: 4-1 Finishing Move
CTL: 3-2 Nikkousen

Finishing Move wins by a 9-6 judge's decision.

Image

Lightweight

Elrathia Division (A)

Eagle's Hawk has a bye

25 or 6 to 4 vs King Crimson

Heckdog tries to box rush the RoTas clone, and it fails miserably! It nopes the fuck our of there as there's an actual driver there now! Back from the bathroom stall is drew, PRAISE THE DREW!
Meanwhile, King Crimson just gets flipped and whacked time and time again as Sirens didn't even expect a driver to show up in the first place, which a good chunk of us didn't expect either!
This goes on for a while, and apparently King crimson. Lesson of the day Kiddos, dont just go into the box expecting a dummy in place of the drive!

Winner: 25 or 6 to 4 by KO in 1:06!

Scrapper vs Magnolia Pico

Image

Scrapper runs over Magnolia Pico with its ENORMOUSLY GIRTHY wheels, instantly crushing the hammerbot's circuit boards to bits. Scrapper wins by KO in -0:01, congrats!

Okay but really this match just boils down to "who can get their instant-death weapon into play first?". Tri pushes both sticks on his controller because SPIN2WIN BAYBEEEEEEEEEEE while MP trods out at a similar pace. They both meet near the center of the arena, center bump permitting. Scrapper revs it's spinner up a little faster and rolls into range, Pico fires it's hammer directly into Scrapper's drum and snaps it right the fuck off in one hit. A few armor plates flop to the ground too, each making a borderline comedic "thud" sound. Scrapper is technically still "mobile" at this point, until a stray gust of wind knocks one of the wheels off.

Magnolia Pico wins by KO (for real this time) in 0:39.

Bluetooth vs Apeirogon

Both bots spin up, and Apeirogon brings the lifter up over its back, turning around, and, yeah, blade on a stick, people! With that much weight out on that long lever it looks to be practically balanced on its back wheels, but since it’s not using the Mecanums it seems to actually be driving reasonably well. Both bots are wary of each other, Bluetooth trying to find a way around that long arm without exposing its wheels. But Apeirogon keeps swinging that thing around, and it’s going to be very hard for Bluetooth to get past that long reach. And Apeirogon makes the first move, darting in and – wham! Hits the top of Bluetooth hard! Apeirogon pops into the air a little and the arm swings up, Bluetooth bounces a little. Almost immediately Bluetooth makes contact with Apeirogon’s wedge, though. Sweet mother of titanium! And the plow gets absolutely cleaved into and almost torn of entirely! It’s just hanging on by one of the mounting brackets.

It looks like Apeirogon did some damage as well, though. There’s been a big chunk knocked out of the front frame rail a little left of center. Both bots are back up to speed, and Apeirogon’s going with the same strategy. Bluetooth’s slowly circling, trying to not take another big hit in that area. Apeirogon comes in – oh, almost misses but panick-turns, sweeping the blade sideways and delivering another massive hit to the top of Bluetooth! It hops in the air again, skids into Bluetooth, and both bots get flung aside by a massive impact! Apeirogon’s back wedge is torn off completely and bounces off the arena wall. One of the wheelguards also has a big gash through it, and… where is that wheel? Did it just evaporate? Oh, no, there it is, or at least part of it.
Bluetooth, meanwhile, seems to be going in circles, albeit big ones. The weapon is still spinning, and the reaction torque is definitely affecting its crabbing. Apeirogon seems to be driving okay-ish on three wheels but only when it puts its weapon back in front of it. So now it’s going to have to try to either outmaneuver Bluetooth and avoid the bar, or get a good uppercut on it. Aaand that wasn’t either of those, there’s a wedgelet gone! It did pop Bluetooth in the air and destabilize it a bit though. It’s gyrodance, Apeirogon rushes in – and there’s a wheel gone from Bluetooth!
We now have two three-wheeled robots, although Bluetooth lost one from the not-working side anyway. It’s wobbling a bit, but I think there’s a little skid below the bar to keep it from hitting the ground. Apeirogon finally gets a big weapon-to-weapon hit, and hurls Bluetooth back into the wall! It ricochets itself towards the spikes. Not quite into them, but it can’t get back out of the corner with its damage drivetrain, and Apeirogon tees it off! Ouch, but Apeirogon’s front corner’s been ripped open in the process! Another wheel crippled. Bluetooth’s stuck on the spikes. Can Apeirogon come in and get the hits it needs?
There’s one – there’s another, and Bluetooth’s on its back! Apeirogon’s got it well and truly pinned, and, it… SLOWLY brings the blade down on the bottom panel, just scraping at it really. It spins back up, turns around, and delivers a huge uppercut that pops the baseplate loose. Bluetooth’s blade’s not gonna spin with armor and guts in the way, and we’ve got a tapout!
Your winner, by knockout in 2:38, is Apeirogon!


Blood Eagle Division (B)

Trilobite has a bye

Wheelosaurous vs The Thieving Magpie

tbh i can't even keep track of which bot is Wheelosaurous and which one is Mastodonosaurus, they even are in the same weight class, somebody please enter a major with a team full of bots with weird names that are hard to remember, spell and are named very similarly to each other.

The fight begins and we can clearly see that pat has a very interesting stat that consist of waiting in his starting square and waiting. A few seconds after The Thieving Magpie gets there and engages, turns out Pat gets under and he tries to push his opponent. Key word tries as he fails to do so and even gets pushed back into the nearby wall slowly. Several seconds later Pat gets a stroke of divine illumination and realizes something: he has a weapon that he even spent 12 points on.
Pat brings down the saw and when Shaba notices she backs off immediately, then she engages again and gets under. Then flip, and another flip, and another and... whoops Wheelosaurous is over the wall now.

Your winner, by OOTA in 0:34, is The Thieving Magpie!

Golden MADD 2 vs Blood Eagle

This is the one you’ve been waiting for in Lightweight Group B, folks: two BIG spinners just going at each other. In the purple square we have Blood Eagle, which has the longest blade in its division. I was going to say it’s spinning a longer blade than some of the heavyweight horizontal spinners, but actually it’s just No Fun Machine, Outrage, and Glacier in that class, so not really. And also it’s using a slightly shorter, wider blade in this match. And in the green square we have Golden Madd, which has the heaviest spinning weapon in this class if you don’t count National Security, which spins literally the whole robot.

Anyway, Golden Madd’s spinning up… and is also spinning the whole robot, just in two directions at once. Uhh, I thought the arena floor here wasn’t really ice – it’s concrete? Oh, right, omni wheels. Meanwhile, Blood Eagle appears to have the bar mounted upside-down from its normal counterclockwise orientation. It starts spinning as it comes out of its square – then stops in its tracks. The bar grinds to a halt and starts spinning the other way. Uhh… is the plan to not mess up those nice beveled teeth hitting Golden Madd’s thick steel shell, or what?
Both bots are up to speed and back under control. Golden Madd’s being a little cautious heading towards the middle of the box, and Blood Eagle pulls a classic Laz move and just rams the thing. Oh, and that’s a huge hit! Golden Madd sends itself flying into the wall and pinballs off of both walls near the spikes. The shell’s nearly brought to a stop, and the self-righting pole’s whirling around. It’s got to get out of the corner there! Blood Eagle tries to come in and capitalize off that, but it was sent reeling by the blow too and both bots get a decent head of steam before they smack each other again. Not as bad a hit this time, and Gmadd ends up pinballing itself away to safety.
Blood Eagle’s after it, though. I think they’re both up to full speed, and BLAM! Another massive hit sends Golden Madd into the corner. The spikes come up under it as it bounces off the wall, but it’s got enough momentum that it skids back off, hitting the arena floor as it does so. Whee, more concrete dust! That’s destabilized it a bit, and DJ has to back off on the weapon throttle to get his bot back under control. Meanwhile Blood Eagle has actually hit the wall, but rushes in anyway with a low-speed hit that banks Golden Madd into the corner.
There’s a few more big hits exchanged before one sends Blood Eagle into the wall HARD at the corner of the arena, and it looks like it hit rear-first, possibly on the right wheel. It looks like it might be a little crooked – and it’s going in circles! This could be a problem for them! Golden Madd was having trouble spinning up, but it’s free to do so now! It comes in, going for the other wheel – ooh, but that’s bait! Blood Eagle pivots back with the help of the torque from its weapon, which is very much still working, and Golden Madd just gets FLUNG into the wall, bouncing at an angle and nearly flipping itself over. It spins back up, but sluggishly. Uh oh, and looks like there’s some smoke out of Golden Madd! It is still moving, though, and still spinning. It approaches a bit more cautiously, trying to herd Blood Eagle towards the wall – ouch, but they clip each other again! Golden Madd gets send into the spikes, and again it doesn’t get caught for a long period, but the shell’s stopped! There’s a horrible screeching noise for about a second and it belches out much thicker smoke. The noise stops, the smoke… doesn’t. It’s not a battery fire, I don’t think, but it’s definitely something serious. The srimech pole, and actually the whole shell looks like it’s sitting a little crooked on it.
So at this point Golden Madd’s plan is presumably to try to force the barely-mobile Blood Eagle into the spikes. It takes a hit on the shell – ooh, putting a gouge in it – and at this point Golden Madd’s also moving really, really badly. One or more of its drive motors may have quit, and there’s some sort of electrical fire inside the robot. It manages to get boinked by Blood Eagle’s bar a couple more times and finally gets it stuck on the spikes for a while, but time runs out before anything else can happen.
Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Blood Eagle 4, Golden Madd 1
Aggression: Blood Eagle 2, Golden Madd 3
Control: Blood Eagle 3, Golden Madd 2

Your winner, by a 9-6 decision, is Blood Eagle!

Broken Tooth vs Boring Gray Wedge

We start the fight with Boring Gray Wedge rushing out at full speed and taking the 90° corner perfectly heading straight for Broken Tooth. Meanwhile in the other side of the arena Broken Tooth is... wait did Gabe even realize that the fight has already started? He looks extremely focused, in a kind of zen state, he almost looks like he achieved true illumination. A guy in the booth with him even poked his arm but that did nothing.

So these two things happened at the same time for the first few seconds of the fight, now we get back to narration in pseudo real time.

Boring Gray Wedge is heading straight at Broken Tooth, parallel to one of the pit walls, right before collision Gabe quietly turns his bot ever so slightly to adjust for his opponent angling and the forks on Broken Tooth get under. BGW takes a his by the spinner and gets sent back flying quite far and Gabe guns his bot forwards to chase down his opponent. As soon as World's Most Boring Bot lands Broken Tooth gets there and hit it with the spinner and fires the flipper at the same time!

I don't think that helped much as the flip is just slightly more impressive as the last one but its still quite a long fall. Boring Gray Wedge lands on top of the wall of the Depths of Winter in the opposite side of where both bots started and bounces out (of the arena)

Your winner, by OOTA in 0:14, is Broken Tooth!


The Debilitator Division (C)

National Security has a bye

Dr. Robotnik vs Fork Factor

Dr. Robotnik spins up, Fork Factor goes right at it and tries to strafe around the disc – but immediately takes a pretty good hit that knocks the bots apart. There’s some good sparks, but it doesn’t look like a whole lot of damage. Robotnik’s away, still spinning. This bot’s relatively fast for a horizontal spinner, but seems to be having a little trouble turning thanks to the reaction torque of that huge weapon.

Fork Factor keeps up the aggression, and while it can’t avoid Robotnik’s disc the wedge is holding up super well… the forks are another story. The little angled side thingies have been torn off the right sides of both of them, and after a few hits both are looking seriously bent because half the time Robotnik is just bitch-slapping them and sending both bots spinning around like tops. Fork Factor might actually be trying to use its strafing to take hits on the wedge, I’m not sure – oh, but it messed up there and Robotnik hit it in the side, tearing a massive gash in the titanium wheelguard. It’s still driving, though.

This arena’s a bit dangerous for horizontals too. Dr. Robotnik gets in a huge hit that breaks off the front half of one of FF’s forks, but it sends itself careening into the wall and ends up in the corner. No spikes there, that’s a starting square, but Fork Factor’s able to pen it in there and slide under it. Is the lifter working? Yes it is, and that’s dangerous, because while those spikes keep it from getting stuck on its side normally, if it gets propped against the wall – just like that! It could be stranded! Yeah, Robotnik’s stuck there. I think this one’s all ov -
Oh wait, no it isn’t! The disc’s moving! That’s not the fastest-spinning weapon in the competition but it’s heavy and the rounded shape means it takes way less torque to get it going when it’s up against the floor. Robotnik thrashes itself free of the wall before the countdown can even start! It’s inverted now, so the disc’s higher and could be easier on FF’s forks. If it can get it going, that is. Fork Factor rams straight into it and backs it against the wall again. It lifts, and tips it on its rear, but Josh is just spinning up anyway. Gyroscopic forces topple Robotnik onto its side, and it spin dashes away, leaving a trail of sparks and concrete dust. And snaps one of its spikes off plus bends another in the process of gouging up our floor.
However, it’s escape for real this time, and is now getting up a good head of steam. Fork Factor’s wedge is easily deflecting the weapon… until that moment! It pops itself in the air and lands halfway on top of Fork Factor. As FF tries to push it its chassis slips back off, and down comes the disk. We have Mecanum roller carnage! That’s one wheel pretty much completely destroyed, and a couple hits later the second one gets shredded into near uselessness as well.
Fork Factor’s in real trouble now: it can drive, but sluggishly, and it’s barely turning. Not so much turning as circle-strafing around its front, really. Meanwhile Robotnik is raining down hit after hit, mangling the forks even further and getting another shot on the side that rips the left wheelguard off entirely. But it can’t finish Fork Factor off before the buzzer. That is one durable bot… except for the wheels.
Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Dr Robotnik 5, Fork Factor 0
Aggression: Dr Robotnik 3, Fork Factor 2
Control: Dr Robotnik 3, Fork Factor 2
Your winner, by an 11-4 Judges’ Decision, is Dr Robotnik!

TSA 2.1 vs Final Mecha Catbot

Two flippers, two big OOTA zones, what could go wrong? Well, the British team could have disgraced their national pride by showing up with a four-bar flipper while the actual “Britflipper” is American… oh, I’m being told that this is exactly what’s happened.

The crowd is certainly on FMC’s side, but really the paint job on its own is enough for that. Both bots are being cagey here. FMC goes for TSA’s side, then backs off as TSA turns in, darts back in… oh, and wheelies up onto TSA’s wedge, but slams it into reverse a second time, and… isn’t quite quick enough, but does a sweet 360 backflip. And it’s right back in for more, drifting around like half of the goddamn featherweights this year, while TSA takes more of an aggressively strategic approach. There’s a quick pop from FMC, getting past the little sliding skirts on TSA’s corner. TSA vaults back onto its wheels, but four-bar flippers don’t self-right as efficiently, and it’s having to use its stronger flipper at full power to do it. It could be at a disadvantage in conserving its gas supply, but it is CO2 so who knows how that all works out.

And there’s a very good toss by TSA. FMC lands right against the low wall, and was close to going out. It’s upside-down, but invertible and still just as quick, rushing away and looking for a good angle to attack TSA from that doesn’t put it at risk of getting sent out.
The problem is, TSA 2.1’s built to score three-pointers and it’s playing on a football field. Uhh… that’s not quite the right metaphor? Playing on a volleyball court? The point is, this arena has big arenas and there’s a lot of floorspace that’s a danger zone for FMC. It’s being cautious of TSA’s weapon, but it’s also spending a lot of time avoiding those angles, and slowing the pace of the fight. Oh, until that moment, as it gets the opening it was looking for, and TSA finds itself flipped, flipped again, and bullied onto the spikes! They actually flip it off the hazard, but at an angle where self-righting would throw it right back on. What can it do here… ooh, it catches the spikes again but does make it off this time. FMC’s in hot purrsuit – and gets flipped right at the announcer’s booth, serves me right for that pun!
TSA’s flipper is losing a bit of power here, though. We’re not quite two minutes in, and they may have to choose between saving the remaining gas for OOTA attempts or giving up on a KO and trying to get the best aggression and control score they can. Final Mecha Catbot’s losing a little bit of oomph too, but the drivetrain’s still working and that’s what it’s mostly relying on. It rolls TSA over again, TSA kicks itself back over, and – ooh, gets FMC trapped underneath the flipper before it can close. It seems to actually be the stronger in a pushing contest though, and Final Mecha Catbot’s forced back into the corner near one of the starting squares.
TSA breaks contact and twirls away, and the flipper does retract properly, but Catbot’s got it on the defensive, juking to its side again. Uh oh, again that slight retreat from TSA catches it, though, and it gets the arm underneath – and there’s a big haymaker of a flip, but it falls short of getting Catbot over the wall! TSA’s going for broke now, and rushes in, pretty much going for the intimidation factor, but Catbot’s too quick to get penned in the corner again. It darts away, and is able to control most of the last twenty seconds of the match.
Judges’ Decision:
Damage: TSA 2.1 3, Final Mecha Catbot 2
Aggression: TSA 2.1 2, Final Mecha Catbot 3
Control: TSA 2.1 2, Final Mecha Catbot 3
Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Final Mecha Catbot!

Mastodonosaurus vs Shade Fist

Both bots take the time to spin up before approaching one another, meeting in the middle with a spectacular crash! Mastodonosaurus goes flying up at a diagonal angle, gyrating violently, whilst Shade Fist sheds one of its weapon's teeth. Shade Fist follows up the attack with a second on Mastodonosaurus just as it lands, both weapons meeting once more. The grey spinner is launched away once more, whilst Shade Fist shits something out of its drum mechanism, in hot pursuit. Both bots come to a standstill, pressing against one another hard, Shade Fist's drum stopped dead by Masto's frame, the HS' own spinner not turning either. Looks like we've a good old fashioned cripple fight on our hands.

I'm not going to go into too much detail here, it's a pretty standard battle of the weaponless spinners. Shade Fist does get the upper hand usually, shunting the awkward shape of Masto around the ring and into the Stabbing Cold, resulting in a barrage of perforations on the bottom of the bot, but both bots make it down to the bell, ending in Shade's starting square. Let's see what the judges thought.

Damage: 3-2 Shade Fist
Control: 3-2 Shade Fist
Aggression: 3-2 Shade Fist

Your winner, by a 9-6 decision, is Shade Fist!

Image


User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Four Fight Card (MW & HW): Stormhavn

Post by The Monsterworks » Sun Mar 08, 2020 1:17 pm

What happens in Siberia stays in Siberia, unless it's the Cherry Bomb Classic! We have TV numbers to drive up, and the hijinks of our wacky team members are part of what sells the show!

Welp, some of you may be wondering exactly which animal Alex V encountered this week. You're not alone, because we're wondering too. In the heart of a frigid Siberian winter, he trekked up into the mountains. He returned, two days later, with a huge and mysterious rich white fur coat. He would not speak on the matter, but one could see that he was a changed man. Completely unchanged, however, was TCR! On a dare from Laz, he licked a metal pole and got his tongue stuck on it. It took half an hour of warming for him to escape the ice's death-grip and, blissfully, we didn't have to listen to his voice for the next two days! Not that Gabe would've noticed. Whenever he wasn't fighting or repairing his bots, he was out in a nearby cave doing some funky shamanic stuff. We're not sure if he managed to levitate, but we wouldn't bet against it. Our resident countrybois, Josh, DJ, and Super, also took a dare from Laz and some of the locals, going ice swimming for one thousand rubles each. Upon emerging from the freezing water, they learned that 1000 rubles is precisely $14.59 American. They promptly shoved Laz in and his skinny ass froze.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Dylan found some new kind of race to win at: this time it was ice boat racing. In the middle of a deep malaise and existential crisis, he blew past onlookers, tossing back swigs of vodka, stonefaced, in a record-setting run for the ages. He didn't learn about it until the next day. Other people were there too, but I've got places to be, you know! Their shenanigans will have to wait until next week.

Speaking of which, it's time to announce that destination: We're off to Norway. That's right: the weather isn't going to change a helluva lot. Our middleweights and heavyweights will do battle in the proud and sacred timber halls of Stormhavn, in Trondheim, Norway. Basically, learn about Vikings and maritime stuff and try not to freeze! Sick of the cold? Don't like this northward swing? Hey, I didn't come up with the idea! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.


Image


Stormhavn by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: Stormhavn

Location: Trondheim, Norway

Layout: Square

Size: 46 ft x 46 ft - 2116 square feet

Intended Use: LW - SHW Singles and Doubles

Theme: Norse Temple/Hall

Floor Materials: Fireproofed Hardwood

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • Berserker Walls (4) - The four corners of the arena have low barriers of only a foot and a half. A decent flip, a clamp and suplex, and perhaps even a particularly strong berserker rush all stand to send a corner camping opponent out of the arena.
  • Will of the Gods (n/a) - This arena has no hazards whatsoever. Your own fighting ability - not subject to any interference - will determine the victor.

Achievement: Til Valhol! - Win a fight while being unable to move at the end (KO, double KO, incomplete count-out).

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, March 14, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Middleweight

Heavyweight

Image

Results


Middleweight

Black Dog Division (A)

Spinnerfood has a bye

Lilly Frog and Jack Hammer vs Carapace

The fight starts, and immediately Lily Frog tries to box rush Carapace while Jack Hammer just... hangs around without doing much. It seems Pat decides to base his entire strategy on Lily Frog instead of Jack Hammer, despite pointing out Jack Hammer can kill the chassis. Carapace expects this move from Lily Frog and gets outwedged, with Lily Frog trying to flip it. Unfortunately for the bot, it just flops a bit as part of its back gets into the air a little while Carapace is flipped a bit. Still, it's able to get some control of Carapace, but it cannot OOTA it.

Carapace is soon able to wriggle free out of Lily Frog and soon lines up a hammer shot, which bends the flipper, as well as causing a drive motor to start smoking. As Lily Frog controls again despite of its damage, Carapace hammers again and manages to line another shot, which punctures through the flipper and right into a battery, then the control board as Lily Frog is dying. Lily Frog finally stops.

Carapace soon swoops in to Jack Hammer, which does almost nothing this match, and baits it to fire its hammer before evading it, causing Jack Hammer to be thrown wildly into the air. Carapace soon hits the hammer mechanism of Jack Hammer before it can attack again, disabling it. Helpless, Carapace easily disables Jack Hammer in two more shots.

Winner: Carapace by KO (00:59)

Hoarfrost vs Tower of Gray

Let's get straight down to business, because both of these two bots are pretty amped up to get this fight started. Tower of Grey's dreams about a super quick fight are quickly dashed as Hoarfrost simply isn't that easy to outdrive. As a matter of fact, Hoarfrost gets the early advantage and wedges ToG and fires the flipper. ToG was doing his best to escape before the flip so Hoarfrost doesn't get 100% out of it, but enough to throw ToG off balance for a few moments. Hoarfrost keeps the heat turned up and is looking to press his advantage and subsequently gets a better flip the second time around. Ultimately ToG is eventually able to get a bit of breathing room in the fairly expansive center of the arena and reassess things. ToG dials things back and starts playing things a bit more conservatively to much better results. The fight starts going very much back and forth for a bit with ToG trying to directing Hoarfrost over towards the nearest corner. Hoarfrost is fairly wary about this and his desire to not get herded into a corner means he has to pass up some riskier opportunities. ToG eventually scores his biggest win of the match by sandwiching Hoarfrost and pinning him there. Hoarfrost frantically does everything it can to squirm free. Eventually he does, but much precious time was eaten up in the interim. With just a bit over half a minute left, both bots start pulling out all the stops trying to make sure they get the last word of the fight in. For a moment it looks like it might be ToG taking that glory, but Hoarfrost narrowly escapes getting clamped. Hoarfrost gets into position and manages to slip under ToG and fires the flipper. ToG clatters around and then a few seconds later the buzzer sounds, putting and end to this match.

Aggression: 3-2 Hoarfrost
Damage: 3-2 Hoarfrost
Strategy: 3-2 Tower of Grey

Hoarfrost wins 8-7

Unnamed & Untamed vs Pressure Flop II

U&U starts out of his square at full speed and attempts to angle in on the shuffling turret hammer of PF...just straight-up angle in at full speed at a bot that can easily just squash U&U like a bug, that’s pretty ballsy there, Dylan. Anyway, Unnamed & Untamed goes in for the flip and PF turns his bot along with his turret to meet U&U with the hammer. However, in doing this, PF ends up ‘oversteering’ and the first hammer blow misses U&U completely. The Wild one gets his flipper under and pops PF into the air, then wastes no time in chasing after PF to keep it from self-righting. It just does so by the time U&U reaches him, but it can’t move that quickly. Maxi swings the turret around and fires the hammer simultaneously, but it only connects in a glancing blow to one of U&U’s wedgelets. PF is also moving in a weird direction, as if the drive operator isn’t sure at the moment where the ‘front’ of the chassis is pointed. I also have a hard time telling how the drive operator can figure this out, as well. Maxi is so focused on maneuvering the turret/firing the hammer that he doesn’t seem to notice that his driver is having trouble keeping track of the chassis’s orientation and the bot starts shuffling to the side. U&U catches PF again and pops the flipper, sending it up and over again, and again chasing it down to catch it before PF can self-right. This time, U&U does, but barely, and only gets a partial flip. PF goes sliding along on its weapon and it’s getting close to one of the OOTA corners.

Maxi pops the hammer at half-power to quickly right his bot and resets, now desperate to land a killing blow on U&U. Dylan has done an outstanding job at driving and keeping his bot from being crushed, but there’s still just over a minute left, will his luck run out?

U&U charges back in again and tries to line up PF with the open corner, but Maxi is more prepared this time, yelling at his driver to stop so that he could better aim the hammer. This time, he times his hammer firing a bit more accurately just as U&U gets under with the flipper. The hammer head misses its target, but the shaft comes down right over U&U’s flipper as Dylan fires it, causing both bots to jump upwards and away from each other a little. Oh, there’s a puff of bright white smoke?...no, that’s gas coming from U&U. I think his gas tank has ruptured from that blow. PF moves away from the corner, Maxi ready to land another blow. Dylan seems undeterred and looks to angle in again, but something is also wrong with U&U’s drive and it’s not getting the acceleration that it was getting. I think that hammer hit really scrambled the innards despite not being a direct hit, but U&U charges in, nonetheless. PF fires the hammer and barely misses U&U, but the damaged bot can’t quite reverse in time and the successant blow finally hits its mark. Another bright puff of white, followed by actual smoke...then fire erupts in U&U. Looks like Dylan’s luck finally ran out.

Pressure Flop II wins by KO in 2:23!


Crash Blossom Division (B)

V-Trigger has a bye

Nick Cage vs Paradox

The fight starts with Paradox getting its itty bitty weapon up to speed, and alex tries to chip away at nick cage, which doesnt really work too well for him (and by that I mean absolutely nothing happens). After a couple minutes of pushing and pulling, in a hilarious turn of events, Nick brings down his mighty cage, and catches poor, poor paradox in his godly grasp. We cant really see much else, but there's quite a lot of flames coming from the mighty Nick cage. After about 20 seconds of this, Alex reveals his secret plan, and launches Nick cage into the ceiling. The flaming masterpiece has fallen over AND HE CANNOT GET UP! HE DOESN'T HAVE LIFE ALERT! WHAT A TRAGEDY! Well done Paradox, you've killed him... now who else are we supposed to worship?

Your winner, in 0:35, is Paradox!

Skoll vs Acrid

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Robots

Skoll starts things out strong with a nasty hit onto acrid’s plow that tears off a massive chunk on the right side of acrid that leaves the plow bent at a distinct angle – the left side arm is still on, but it sure didn’t start the match at that angle relative to the rest of the arms. This hit causes skoll to rebound VIOLENTLY, and it eventually recovers from flying about the place right-side up. Acrid’s able to turn up the tempo a bit through the next bit of the match and makes skoll his bitch for a little bit until skoll eventually gets away when acrid oversteers and isn’t fast enough to catch itself. Acrid promptly chews through another few big hits before noah gets to give skoll the big smother/lift bullying extravaganza 2, electric boogaloo. Skoll eventually gets free again, and once again Acrid is quick back to the attack with hard rams, though its plow has really taken a beating. Skoll keeps things in its favor late, fending off a few rams before time expires. Never does get that plow peeled all the way off, though dear lord Acrid got its face kicked in.

Aggression: 4-1 Acrid

Damage: 4-1 Skoll

Control: 3-2 Acrid

Your winner, in an 8-7 Decision is Acrid!

Magnolia Grande vs The Act of Being Polite


Diablo Genesis Division (C)

Dragonfist has a bye

Here Comes the Sun vs Remi 4

We have a fight mostly consisting of the SUN jumping at Remi, 40% off the time it misses entirely, 25% of the time Remi dodges and the remaining 35% is Here Comes the Sun actually landing a hit, but most of the time it lands on the drum that sends it back to the air and seems to not take any damage.

The Sun doesn't really have any control of what is going on while Remi does, so over time the fight slowly drifts to a corner of the arena until eventually the thing happens and the Sun lands on the spinner and gets thrown through the hole out of the arena!
It was a stressful unpredictable mess of a fight for Hii and he now can relax and starts dancing with his bot...

JAWS MUSIC STARTS PLAYING

Here Comes the Sun adjusts itself a bit and jump back into the arena

Welp, we are back to the same, Hii quickly reacts and get back into the game. The fight pretty much keeps going the same way but as they are now already in the corner of the arena Remi manages to send her opponent out of the arena a few more times until the fight goes for the full 3 minutes and is actually over.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Here Comes the Sun 4, Remi 4 1
Aggression: Here Comes the Sun 2, Remi 4 3
Control: Here Comes the Sun 0, Remi 4 5

Your winner, by an 9-6 Judges’ Decision, is Remi 4!

Momma Bear vs Pizza 2

The fight starts with Pizza 2 trying to focus on the cubs while staying from the walls, but it just hangs back while Momma Bear, which has the same speed as Pizza 2, eventually tanks the bar, but the hit is a bit of a graze as Pizza 2 gets popped upward. Immediately, the cubs seize a chance and start flipping and chucking Pizza 2 over. Pizza 2 tries to attack the cubs and focus on them, but Jules expects all those moves and tricks, managing to get the cub to avoid the bar, and keep controlling and stopping the weapon on the floor and Momma.

At one point, Pizza 2 is about to hit a cub, but said cub backs off before it can get hit, so another cub and Momma counters by deflecting it. This now leaves Pizza 2 in the corner. As Hide struggles, he tries to get away from the corner and attack a cub again, only to be baited on the side where the weapon is spinning on by another cub, then gets flipped before it can hit the cub. Pizza 2 is almost out, but then the cubs work together and manage to get a powerful enough flip to get Pizza 2 out. And it spells the unfortunate end of the fight for Pizza 2 as it continues to get another lose.

Winner: Momma Bear by OOTA (1:08)

Diablo Genesis III vs Space Bee

DGIII gets moving towards Space Bee, who seems to be having trouble manoeuvring its giant penis wedge around in a reasonable manner. Soon enough, DGIII's able to barge into Space Bee's chassis, batted slightly by the wedge, before scooping under and overturning the bot. Space Bee recovers and attempts another approach, but DGIII easily overturns the bot again, due to the several feet of inverted wedge on front. Attempt number three, and Space Bee's schlong manages to slip up and through one of the slits on DGIII's wedge and I'm killing this euphemism before it gets even worse. DGIII responds by opening the lifter, rather hilariously hoisting Space Bee into the air, whilst tilting itself forward and back a bit as it opens and closes, trying to get Space Bee out. You'd think the wedge would snap under the weight, but it's a wonder what 14 armour engineering is capable of. After a bit of DGIII wiggling by the OotA wall, Space Bee falls out, toppling into it.

Diablo Genesis III wins by OotA in 1:11.

Image

Heavyweight

Hellhound Division (A)

FusterCluck has a bye

Wallop vs Padoru Machina

Both bots rush into the arena and make a swift beeline for one another! Wallop spins it's deadly weapon, while Padoru Machina spins it's... weapon. If this were ROBOT4, Padoru could at least attest to having "deadly drive" and be able to bash Wallop's armor in 10 repeated hits. But this isn't ROBOT4, is it? Padoru slides under with ease, despite its relatively poor traction. This is primarily because whenever Padoru angles in, Wallop responds with an attempt to go for it's opponent's sides. Things get to the point where the audience is visibly groaning, but TBR is too dead set on "no guys it'll work this time FOR SURE trust me" to change up his strategy.

The rest of this fight is primarily Padoru doing the typical brick song and dance to Wallop. It even manages to... kinda... almost... OOTA. It gets Wallop on the wall a couple times, but is never able to push it over. 3 weapon, everyone.

Wallop gets a singular pity hit in on the literal last second of the match, because I'm nice.

AGG: 4-1 Padoru Machina
DMG: 3-2 Wallop
CTL: 4-1 Padoru Machina

Padoru Machina wins by a 10-5 judge's decision.

(Lowkey was hoping Wallop won so I could make a "PM died for this" joke, but oh well.)


Santangelo vs Petaflare

Petaflare starts off strong here, getting a grip on Santangelo very early and overpowering the flipper. It forces it into the corner, and… that’s it. Is the crusher working at full power, or is Santangelo’s armor just that thicc? Anyway, fifteen boring seconds later, Santangelo has to be let go. It darts away, dodging an attempt to pen it in the corner, and proceeds to get under Petaflare and topple it onto its side. Petaflare’s side wings prevent this being a Life Alert situation, and it gets back up… for approximately two seconds.

Fun Fact: Canada’s national sport, other than hockey and moose wrestling, is bullying crushers with slow srimechs. Petaflare gets body-checked into the corner. Now, that is a very low wall, Santangelo might be able to get it out here… that was close, but no cigar, with Petaflare’s awkward shape saving it. It’s righted, gets away, and – ahh, there’s another grab, but they’re a bit far forward, and Santangelo’s got slightly more grip. Its tires squeal, but it forces Petaflare back! Petaflare raises the claw a tiny bit and tries to adjust, but Santangelo slips away.
Aaand time for another round of bullying crushers. Petaflare’s shoved into the corner again. This time, Santangelo – yikes, almost topples it out! It tries to strand it on its back, but Petaflare has enough ground clearance there to get away. It’s able to get another pin in, and put another little hole in Santangelo’s flipper, but as soon as Santangelo gets under it again it’s getting taken for a ride – aand there it is! There’s the push into the corner… another flip, again not quite getting the right angle. It tries to get away from the wall, but goes right up Santangelo’s wedge. There’s no space for it to retreat, it’s driven to the wall, and… oh, it’s propped up there with its wedge on the floor and its backside on top of the wall forward of the wheels. The srimech can’t make contact with anything. Is Santangelo going to leave it there? It’s coming in very carefully, just nudging it with its wedge to try to tip it over the edge… or get its wedgelets under. And there we go, Petaflare falls over the wall!

Your winner, by OOTA in 1:49, is Santangelo!

The No-Fun Machine vs Electro-Death

ED starts with his full-speed ‘dive bomb’ attack on NFM, totally willing to just ‘fuck it and eat a hit’. NFM spins up and moves to the side a bit, anticipating the box-rush from ED. Thing is, this is a massive arena and the corner starting squares makes such box-rushing tactics a bit less effective. Electro-Death is still very fast, but Badnik overcorrects a bit and his bot’s wheels slip a little on the coated hardwood floor. This exposes a little of the side of ED and one of No Fun Machine’s flails connects squarely, smashing in its side and causing ED to be spun away. NFM pinballs back into the wall near its corner, but re-stabilizes and maves back out to get its shell & flails up to speed again. Electro-Death is suffering drive problems on the side that took a flail hit and can’t seem to move in a straight line - I think it may have lost a drive motor or controller there, but I’m not sure. But it’s in trouble now as NFM is back up to full speed and advances slowly towards ED. Badnik retreats a bit, then goes in for another direct attack. This time, the flails bounce off of ED’s wedge with a deafening CLANG and slows NFM’s momentum somewhat. ED’s plow looks like it’s taken the impact well, but its drum seems to be unbalanced and it slows down, reaching No Fun Machine’s shell, but not being able to capitalize damage-wise. Best it can do is try to shove NFM and pin it against a wall, but even that proves difficult for ED as it can’t really push NFM around and the damaged side of drive looks like it’s locking up at times, forcing ED to crabwalk. NFM manages to slip out and away from the wall and ED and spin back up and smacks Electro-Death a few more times for its troubles, sending it spinning away and back into its starting square. ED starts smoking some from burnt-out drive motors and tries to limp forward, but it’s not enough to show movement and the count begins.

No Fun Machine wins by KO in 0:54!


Black Diamond Division (B)

Outrage 3 has a bye

Pink Wedge 2020 vs KILL 'EM ALL!

Coming to you from my concrete-and-lead bug-out bunker under [LOCATION REDACTED], it’s a-me, Gabe! Yall thought you could stop me, did you? Bring me to justice? FACE THIS PLAGUE I HAVE CREATED. Anyway I’m not gonna be commentating from the arena location, and the fans have been sent home for safety, but hey why not fight robots anyway and just keep all the participants in little cages in-between fights or whatever.
This is really quite the match, once it becomes clear that lining up the hammer shot is gonna be a legitimate challenge for Danielle (who is a woman btw pat). Pink wedge deftly maneuvers around its opponent and shoves her into the wall, getting in a pin for a while until KEA

Lmao it abbreviates to IKEA

Frees itself with hammer swings. They reset, pink wedge gets around to the side again, bot meet wall. Pink wedge tries to block the hammer with its grabber and gets a bent grabber for its trouble, and IKEA frees itself once more, only to get promptly chased about the arena and generally manhandled for the next 30 seconds or so, until Danielle can finally force a neutral again.

It’s at this point that she starts driving fuckin weird – and hits paydirt: unexpected aggression and passivity, being willing to fire the hammer whenever PW gets close to the strike zone, even if she’s turning, and other such weird stuff gets her a nice shot in, and pink wedge immediately starts crabbing. He defends against the second shot for a while with some crazy maneuvers, but it does happen eventually, and it does kill him.

Your winner, by KO in 1:34, is Kill ‘em all!

Glacier III vs Fork Bomb

Fork Bomb's a good bot and it could still make playoffs. It deserves better than this. Anyways, Alex wrote a tryhard RP when he basically needed to write spin2win. It's THAT bad of a match for Fork Bomb, which isn't quite able to reach over the top of the big walker with its weapon. The first hit cleanly amputates the disc and wrenches its arm. The second hit... doesn't happen. Fork Bomb just kinda stops dead in its tracks on its way gamely back for more. What? Did you expect an epic write up or something for THIS? Lolno.

Glacier III wins by KO (0:23)

linkinparknumb.mp3.exe vs Xtreme pneumatiX

Both robots are out of their squares at a good clip, with Linkinparknumb.mp3.exe wanting to stay well away from those corners! Whew, that name’s a mouthful, and so is the bot itself. Xtreme Pneumatix is circling, trying to steer clear of that giant hammer. It comes a little bit too close, though, and Numb.mp3 takes a swing! And proceeds to hop into the air and nearly flip itself over, miss completely with the flail, and that’s XP’s cue to attack! In it comes, getting underneath the side and gets a flip. Numb.exe gets bounced onto its side, and, uhh… Violent Flailing Intensifies.
Nobody knows what Viruses.exe is doing: not me, not Ethan, and certainly not Noah. There’s some pretty epic breakdance moves here, but style isn’t a judging criterion here. Aggression, uhh… yeah, I guess they’re both trying. Damage? I think Numb.wav is getting a couple of hits in, but I have no idea how effective they are with it just flipping itself all over the place. XP doesn’t even need to use its weapon. Control? Uhh… no. Limewire.exe is preventing XP from pushing it where it wants to, mostly, but it’s a stretch to say it’s actually in control of the match itself.
There’s not much point even trying to commentate this… Jesus Christ, what do I say? Oh, there’s a triple handspring there, a wheelstand, and, oh he’s stuck on his flail, now he isn’t, nice cart wheel, nice opponent-assisted 540 corkscrew. Ooh, Filename.gif is kind of stuck against the wall here, can it climb off with that 360 degree arm? Oh, it’s flipped again, into the corner, it has to get away here! That’s a close call, balancing precariously on the pillar for a moment before falling back in – AND IT’S GONE! Xtreme Pneumatix’s methodical approach finally pays off, and it tosses 90skidsmemes.exe over the low wall and out!

I tried so haaaaaaaaaaard, and got so far… but in the end, it doesn’t even maaaaaa-aaaa-aaa-terrr! I had to fall, to lose it allll! But in the end, it doesn’t even ma-terr-err-err!

Anyway, your winner by OOTA in 0:52, is Xtreme Pneumatix!


Broken Ghost Division (C)

Killer Queen has a bye

Defenestrator vs Icebreaker

Both bots rush in, colliding in the middle of the ring, Icebreaker getting underneath Defenestrator's claw, and attempting to flip, only for HFL to just raise the claw out of the way, backing off and squaring off for a second wedge clash. This time, both bots manage to somewhat "win out", both bots ended up twisted together as Defenestrator clamps down on Icebreaker's wedge, whilst Icebreaker tries to flip one of Defenestrator's wheels up. The flip manages to jig the bots free of one another, leading to round three of wedge wars. Defenestrator wins out more definitively this time, shoving Icebreaker back into the wall and raising it skyward, grabbed by the wedge. Reversing, Defenestrator hauls its opponent towards the OotA corner, aiming for its signature backdrop, but Icebreaker manages to jostle free at the last moment with a well-timed flip. In an impressive display of physics, Icebreaker bounces off of the rim of the wall, inches from defeat, and lands back in the ring, on its back. One self-right later, and the two bots are back to work on battling for wedge supremacy. Defenestrator establishes a second grab, and wastes no time confirming the KO, slam-dunking the flipper out of the arena.

Defenestrator wins by OotA in 1:18.

Dreadnought Mk. 4 vs Swamp Thing

Both bots come out of their corners ready for a full 3 minute mano e mano. Exact same drivetrain, both weapons lower than the opponent's armors, my "damage: xD" jokes are READY for this. Swamp Thing's channeling it's reptilian heritage and wildly charging forward, Dreadnought does much the same... until it doesn't. Just short of a head-on collision, it suddenly stops and swerves out of the way, leaving Swamp Thing to totally whiff! Code is quick to notice that "oh shit i missed lol" and turns around, but not before Dreadnought goes IN and popcorns Swamp Thing several times in the air. There's a short struggle from Swamp Thing, and it even manages to nearly turn things back around, but ultimately it gets shunted into the corner and dropped out of the ring; this sumo match is over.

Dreadnought wins by OOTA in 1:02.

Tabor Mark 4 vs Long Arm of the Law

You know, i could just tell you that the entire fight is a 3 minute stalemate of both robots bumping at each other going nowhere and trying to flip their opponents with their respective lifters but comically failing at that but Alex would get mad at me if the entire result was a single sentence so i gotta go more in depth. To deconstruct this wedge fight we will first need to ask ourselves a question: What even is a wedge?

According to the Oxford dictionary, a wedge is defined as:
A piece of wood, metal, or some other material having one thick end and tapering to a thin edge, that is driven between two objects or parts of an object to secure or separate them.
In the context of combat robotics, the two objects are the floor and the opposing robot, with the goal of separating their wheels of the ground to restrict or impede movement. How thin the "thin" edge is is very important in our context as robots will usually sport a wedge of their own, meaning that the two wedges will need to "fight" so one of them can get under, typically this is the one that is closer to the ground and that is where the "thinness" appears. To further help that usually the robots will be designed to ensure that the wedge is always scraping the floor, typically either by giving it only two wheels and making the wedge the third resting point or by mounting the wedge in some kind of articulation. Both of the participants in this match decided to take the later approach, with Tabor Mark 4 mounting a large "plough" on a lifting mechanism, which is mounted on a "turret" that gives it the unique ability to turn it around and have the wedge facing a direction different that the robot is heading. Meanwhile Long Arm of the Law has it's main wedge mounted in a smaller central lifting arm with secondary wedges mounted on a hinge besides the central arm.

As mentioned above both of them sport a "lifting" mechanism that allows them to further move their opponents off the ground after getting their wedges under them, sometimes with the added effect of turning over, or "flipping", the opposing robot to completely impede any kind of movement, usually robots will either be able to not be eliminated by either having the wheels also reach out of the top of the robot or by having a "srimech" mechanism that has the ability to get the robot back upright, both robots can use their lifters as the later. Electric lifters like this are usually quite slow at "self righting" but both teams invested a lot in their weapons so they are surprisingly fast at "self righting", Tabor Mark 4 more so than Long Arm of the Law. Both of the participants confirmed before the fight that "flipping" is their goal, much to their dismay both robots have proven to be quite ineffective at doing this and only manage to do so two or three times during the entire fight each. Long Arm of the Law struggles because lifting usually results in only moving the articulated "plough", which leaves the rest of the bot unaffected. Tabor Mark 4 struggles because shape of it's "plough", that can only make contact with the tip of it's opponent.

Speaking of wedge shapes, in combat robotics wedges come in different shapes and sizes, each with different advantages and disadvantages. Tabor Mark 4 with it's "Type 1A Meme-Sized Plough" sports a large, slightly concave, plate with several small "teeth" with a shallower angle at the edges while Long Arm of the Law is using it's "Forks" that consist in six long and narrow wedges, similar to the ones found in a domestic fork, hence the name. Generally the more pressure is applied to the ground the greater the effectiveness of the wedge, this means that "forks", with their smaller area contacting the floor" have a small advantage. Long Forks may also be able to occasionally get in-between the small teeth some wedges have, bypassing the wedge entirely. The disadvantage of the long "fork" design is that if one engages at them from an angle they can get easily under their side and bypass them completely, this usually requires a significant "drivetrain" advantage that Tabor Mark 4 does not have but it's turret weapon can occasionally produce the same effect.

This entire short essay took a bit over to 3 minutes to read out loud to you and gave a detailed explanation of the events happening in the fight without repeating myself, made the fight more interesting that what happen if you explain the events as they happen in real time and gave you a better understanding of combat robotics in general that you may or may not use it in the future.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

And now we got the results from the Judges:

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Tabor Mark 4 3, Long Arm of the Law 2
Aggression: Tabor Mark 4 2, Long Arm of the Law 3
Control: Tabor Mark 4 3, Long Arm of the Law 2
Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision, is Tabor Mark 4!

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Five Fight Card (FW & LW): Asylum

Post by The Monsterworks » Mon Mar 16, 2020 12:34 pm

Norway was pretty chill... Actually not originally conceived of as a bad pun, I swear. Anyways, we mostly manages not to get into trouble this week, except for the thing with Laz and the oil rig. Apparently sabotaging one makes you an ecoterrorist. We're still trying to get his travel ban lifted. Alex V also fought something this week, but it was just a cold as opposed to a ferocious animal of some sort. Trust me, with coronavirus fears reaching a peak, we were all terrified that it might be more than just a cold. Still probably wouldn't have killed him. Nothing can kill Alex V. Anyways, having rediscovered the existence of both Josh and Drew in Paris and Chicago, respectively, we celebrated their return with copious amounts of drinking. There wasn't much else to do aside from hoarding toilet paper and pasta at local supermarkets. Dylan won the race to the toilet paper aisle after they'd restocked and grabbed everything he could. He and Super, seizing an economic opportunity, were able to resell about $500 worth. DJ found himself thrust into the role of bouncer and got to bodyslam a viking when the big feller got a little bit too animated while haggling. Otherwise, it was a low key week. Cold and fears of a terrifying pandemic were enough to keep people from doing anything else noteworthily stupid. Except for Cassie. God... Cassie. We'll let her tell you the story, though.

Oh, and speaking of pandemics, our resident medical professional, Doctor Cadaver, has assured us that the Coronavirus is actually due to an imbalance in the humours and can be cured with bloodletting. And who are we to say otherwise: none of his patients have ever complained... That's right, we're headed to Birmingham England, where Ethan is so happy to host us that he could pretty much explode. Our featherweights and lightweights will be doing battle in the antiseptic operating room of Asylum, amid keening drills and whirring saws. Will they go insane? Will we!? God knows we'll be trapped indoors for most of the time on lockdown or whatever. It's a shame, because Birmingham is a pretty cool place and Ethan had a whole itinerary planned out. Still think the lockdown's an overreaction? Think we honestly should've done it sooner? Hey, I'm not the one in charge here! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


The Asylum by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: The Asylum

Location: Birmingham, England

Layout: large square flanked by two smaller rectangles

Size: 30 x 30 (main square), 16 x 24 (each flanking rectangle) - 1668 square feet

Intended Use: FW-MW Singles and Doubles

Theme: insane asylum operating room

Floor Materials: steel

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena employs a pair of house robots that represent the duality of the arena: Doctor Cadaver being the medical and Killamari representing insanity. They patrol the caution-striped zones in the rectangular sections and, sometimes, their operating procedures can get a bit...messy. While they have been instructed to hold back from using their full power, they tend to forget this instruction during the final thirty seconds of the match and may hit you very hard indeed.
Doctor Cadaver
Show
Doctor Cadaver
Image

Image

Stats: Speed 5 / Traction 5 / Torque 5 / Weapon 15 (3 lifter, 3 clamp arms, 11 saw - 3-point saw arm) / 6 armor (+6 house robot bonus)
Killamari
Show
Killamari
Image

Image

Stats: Speed: 6 / Traction: 4 / Torque: 3 / Weapon: 19 (+5 lifter) / Armour: 4+6
Hazards and Features:
  • Bonesaws (2) - These are powerful horizontal saws mounted in the two of the four corners of the central arena. They pop out when robots pass into their strike zones (marked in yellow and black caution paint) and for as long as they remain there, dealing damage equal to a seven weapon power saw
  • Lobotomizers (2) - Located in the other two corners of the main arena, the Lobotomizers are clamp hazards that hold robots still for ten seconds while a powerful drill descends to deal heavy damage. A robot must remain within their caution zone for at least three seconds for the Lobotomizers to activate.
  • Privacy Screen (2) - Cutting the starting squares off from the larger arena, these lexan barriers prevent either robot getting a straight shot at the other at the start of a match. Movement between the main atrium and outer wings of the arena takes place through either of the entrances flanking a Privacy Screen.
  • Disposal Chutes (2) - The two disposal chutes run along the left sides of each of the arena's rectangular wings and each is guarded by a three foot wall. Bots that are flipped, lifted, or thrown over them will end up in a deep pit of despair, unable to escape.

Achievement: This won't hurt a bit! - knock an opponent out using the lobotomizers

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, March 21, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Image

Results


Featherweight

Firebird Division (A)

Vindicator has a bye

I can't Believe it's not Tanto vs Puffy Cloud

Both bots get rolling fairly quickly, hauling ass on the head-on approach on both sides. Tanto's wedges fit neatly between Puffy Cloud's, and the impact bounces both bots upwards, buckling that middle wedgelet of Puffy's. Puffy, meanwhile brings down the saw, throwing sparks as Tanto throws him back into the arena's own saws, slicing deep into the bot's back. That's probably a Birmingham thing, right? Anyway, the two bots separate, with Puffy making a horrid scraping noise as they drift around the arena once more, leaving a thin line in the floor as they go. Seems the impact put the point of Puffy's wedge into the ground. That's gonna mess with their driving. Tanto's back on the offensive, smashing Puffy into the privacy screen, bouncing the bot into the doorway, a follow-up charge getting both bots into Killamari's lair. The squidbot is ready, revving up and spinning, slamming both bots with a hefty strike, sending Puffy spinning off out into the main area again, whilst Tanto is buffeted back in deeper. Both bots, however, do recover, and go back to brawling, Tanto slamming Puffy back into the lobotomizers this time, keeping them close enough for the grabbers to confirm the pin, Puffy's saw throwing wild sparks off of the apparatus as the drill drops through its top plate. As the drill rises up, it seems it's done some damage somewhere, as Puffy's saw is no longer spinning. Both bots collide again, this time Puffy surprisingly getting under, only for Tanto to get itself free fairly quickly. The match continues with Tanto running Puffy through the middle area's hazards some more, trying but failing to get it out into the house bot area again, until time is called.

Damage: 3-2 Tanto
Control: 4-1 Tanto
Aggression: 4-1 Tanto

Your winner, by a 11-4 decision, is I Can't Believe It's Not Tanto!

Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2 vs Black Dog

Black Dog’s spinning up, Angry Bird Seed Killer is… camping in the wings again. I love this arena. No seriously, it’s hilarious watching people do this and then act surprised when their opponent does anything but slowly advance through the doors in a straight line. Which to be fair Black Dog seems to be doing… until it guns it and Seed Killer misses completely. It’s off balance, and Black Dog turns around and comes in to smack it right in the face! Uh oh, but it’s a glancing blow, with the forks not actually lifting the edge of that steep front wedge into the drum. Instead it grinds against the face. Black Dog starts to back off, but not fast enough, and POW! That’s a shot right to the grille! And right through the grille by the looks of things!
I see smoke! Lots of white smoke! Angry Bird: Seed Killer’s gotten the perfect shot, but unfortunately it turns out to be the equivalent of using a small-caliber rifle on an angry grizzly bear. Sure you’ll kill it… later, but right now you’ve got a pissed-off bot that’s faster than you and can rip your head off. As soon as ABSK retracts the hammer, Black Dog lunges, clips the side of the wedge and tosses it into the air, and, well… Black Dog happens. It stops moving about fifteen seconds later with flames now shooting out of its top, but by that point Angry Bird: Seed Killer is lying on its back with the chains driving its hammer ripped off. And a bent fork. And the hammer’s twisted and the cross-piece thingies are gone… and there’s an obvious hole in its baseplate. And so on.

Looks like we’ve got a double knockout though, so this’ll have to go to the judges!

Damage: Black Dog 3, Angry Bird Seed Killer 2
Aggression: Black Dog 4, Angry Bird Seed Killer 1
Control: Black Dog 4, Angry Bird Seed Killer 1

Your winner, by an 11-4 Decision after Double KO, is Black Dog!

Gabrial vs NRG 2

Pat... buddy... pal... fella...
Trust me when I say that I want to see you do well. I really do. But, I don't think this counts as an RP?
the entire thing, verbatim, unedited wrote: nrg: Speed: 3 Traction: 1 Torque: 1 Weapon: 13 Armor: 12

gab: 6,4,1,14,5(+2)

start

fuck.... just fuck

aw fuck...

fuck fuckty fuck fuck

welp fuck
I'm just gonna assume it's a forfeit then. So: NRG magically wedges under the opponent with its very real and existent wedgelets before punting gabrial into the pit. IDK if this arena has a pit. If it doesn't, it does now.

NRG wins by KO (FF) in -0:01.


Vorpal Bunny Division (B)

Wasp 2 has a bye

Untitled Goose Robot vs Chinesium II

The fight starts with both robots wasting negative time in going through the door holes to head to the main part of the arena. Chinesium hits the long neck on the goose and bounces off far away while the other bot just gets thrown back a bit. Then we look back at the neck once its not moving and see that it has taken no damage whatsoever!
This is the story of the entire fight, no one really doing something noteworthy, just big hits that deal no damage.
A minute and a half into the match Chinesium gets flipped over after bouncing off a wall while airborne after one of these hits, this is a big thing. Now Untitled Goose Robot can get it's neck under the spinner without forcing a hit, this gives Noah the option to do something control wise. He chooses to push Chinesium into the Lobotomizers like the two times it gets an opportunity, the rest of the like 4 times it can't really get in the right angle and just pins it against a wall, usually getting another insignificant hit when letting it go.
So yeah the fight is a lot more boring that you might thing when you hear of a side clamp facing a horizontal deathspinner.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Untitled Goose Robot 4, Chinesium II 1
Aggression: Untitled Goose Robot 3, Chinesium II 2
Control: Untitled Goose Robot 4, Chinesium II 1
Your winner, by an 11-4 Judges’ Decision, is Untitled Goose Robot!

Irritant vs Ori

You know what's an irritant? TBR's abject refusal to win a fight. Instead of pressing the advantage, homey wants to run away after scoring a flip. Ya, um... I've got nothing, guys. The two bots come out aggressively and meet head to head. They wedgelock. Kinda. Irritant's flipper actually wins out and TBR's reflexes are fast. Ori's on its back before HFL can even react. He is quick on the draw getting away, however, expecting Irritant to continue its aggressive ways and take advantage.

He needn't worry.

Irritant backs away and waits. How uh... courteous, I guess? HFL doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth, takes the free self-right (maybe this is some weird kind of chivalry?), and comes right back on the attack. Now, ladies and gents, we witness the return of the TBR we all know and love. Flanking attempt number one on a bot with better control and angled wedgelets designed to defend specifically against this sort of thing! Over/under? Any takers? Irritant gets rejected hard. Ori scores a free flip and follows up aggressively as Irritant self-rights. The Britflipper ends up perilously close to a Bonesaw and the door near an OOTA wall before it rights and shoots away, Ori chasing and losing a bit of ground.

We get treated to a game of cat and mouse before a second flanking/angling attempt. Irritant eats it again, this time getting high-ended and pushed to the brink of the OOTA zone. TBR panics and hits the flipper to jostle himself loose just as HFL flips him. The result is a weird tumbling launch that ends with Irritant bouncing off the wall and landing safely inbounds. Ori pursues relentlessly, but Irritant's slight speed edge allows it to get away and back into open space.

Angling attempt number three: going once, going twice... fuck me, he did it! Irritant gets under Ori and, again, TBR's reaction time is almost inhuman. Ori gets flipped. TBR can press the advantage and maybe... well, he just, uh, waits again. Ori self-rights, comes straight back in and Irritant gets high-ended. This time, TBR fires his flipper earlier, but doesn't quite break free. His bot gets inexorably pused towards a disposal chute. He pops the flipper again and escapes just as he's going through the doorway. He tries to scoot around and out through the other door, but Ori beats him to it. We're treated to another flip, and Irritant ends up in the tender embrace of Doctor Cadaver, who decides that it's time to operate. Cue fifteen seconds of a housebot holding back and putting some small cuts in Irritant's armour.

When it finally drops the Britflipper, Ori's waiting. Irritant gets flipped again. The Doctor punts it out of his patrol zone. He's got enough of a patient backlong! No repeat visits unless it's coronavirus! Irrtiant self-rights pretty much right into Ori's flipper and HFL decides that he's let this go on long enough. He shoves his opponent right towards that disposal chute, waits for TBR to try to jostle free, adjusts, and fires. Irritant sails through the air and down the chute, landing with a 'clank' at the bottom. That's a wrap, folks.

Ori wins by OOTA at 1:59

The Grand Vizier vs Gas Gas Gas

The fight starts with Gas Gas Gas trying to rush the Grand Vizier. But the Jafar bot gets more time to position itself to deal with its opponent from the doors slowing Gas Gas Gas' approach a bit. Then, Gas Gas Gas tries to get to the side of The Grand Vizier while the latter is watching and positioning carefully. Still, due to the traction disparity, the Grand Vizier gyroes a bit, allowing Gas Gas Gas to tip it. The Grand Vizier rolls back on its wheels due to its body shape, but this gives Gas Gas Gas the purchase to push it.

Gas Gas Gas soon gets out of the side where the Grand Vizier starts and rushes into the main part of the arena, with Gas Gas Gas pushing the Grand Vizier into the Lobotomizer while the Grand Vizier tries to squirm free. However, the spinner is able to escape and tries to angle in on Gas Gas Gas, but the lifter goes back and slams the disc wall first, then lifts and push into the saws, but the Grand Vizier is able to escape before serious damage can be done. It then manages to point the disc head on at Gas Gas Gas, forcing the lifter to be careful not to get hit. But the Jafar bot is still aggressively pointing at the Initial-D bot even when it tries to maneuver around. Then, Gas Gas Gas is able to get an opening when The Grand Vizier gyroes, allowing it to lift and push into the lobotomizer, but the bot happens to get clamped with the drill on the disc instead. The drill cuts through the support before being stopped by the spinning disc.
The Grand Vizier is then released and gets controlled by Gas Gas Gas again, which wall slams it while the Grand Vizier squirms. The Grand Vizier is then pushed into Killamari, which bends one of the forks with its disc, but then it gets inverted into the side with good forks when Gas Gas Gas attacks it again. As one minute is left, the Grand Vizier finally manages to point its disc again and pressure an angle in on Gas Gas Gas despite it trying to drift and strafe around the disc. The Grand Vizier soon gets a bite on the wedge, which uppercuts it. As large part of it is ripped, the Grand Vizier follows up by a hit on the front wheel, tearing it completely as Gas Gas Gas is flinged into Doctor Cadaver, which drills into the back wheel's motor, the same side as the destroyed front wheel. By the time Gas Gas Gas is released, its left spinning around and crabwalking. But with 21 seconds left, the Grand Vizier is able to get a hit that rips the bot in half. One side is left in pieces while the other is thrown into the saws, which get activated.

Winner: The Grand Vizier by KO (2:54)


Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)

Finishing Move has a bye

CIRCUITZ vs Nikkousen

CIRCUITZ turns her front towards the house robot zone behind her square while Nikkousen’s two-part multibot face back-to-back with each bot’s front pointed towards the openings on each side of the privacy screen, waiting for CIRCUITZ’s advance...which Jules isn’t falling for. She waits patiently for Nikkousen to make their move. Well, someone needs to make a move as the ref is ready to start counting down on both bots. The Nikkousen duo do move around their starting square while CIRCUITZ does the same. Finally, Nikkousen makes a move and advances across the arena. The pair then split up to cover the two openings and it looks like that Hii is going to bait with one bot and get behind CIRCUITZ with the other. Jules sees the one half of Nikkousen (Sōryū) approach but doesn’t react. The other bot (Hiryū) starts creeping through the other side’s opening just as Jules starts approaching Sōryū. Hiryū starts to move in to get behind CIRCUITZ, but then Jules suddenly throws her bot into reverse and slams into Hiryū before Hii can react and uses the back of its flipper as a front-hinged flipper and throws Hiryū towards the OOTA zone. Hiryū lands just shy of the opening of the chute, but inverted and it takes two flips to land right-side up again.

Meanwhile, Sōryū backs off into the main arena to bait CIRCUITZ into chasing after it instead of going after Hiryū, but no, Jules isn’t going for it. CIRCUITZ guns it at Hiryū, which has just flipped itself back onto its wheels. Hii barely dodges the next attack, but Hiryū overcorrects as it turns to escape through the opening and clips the edge of the privacy shield, causing Hiryū to spin in a 360. CIRCUITZ rushes at it to capitalize and catches Hiryū and hits the flipper, sending Hiryū hard against the lexan and it bounces backwards into the house robot zone. Dr. Cadaver moves in and goes to work on Hiryū. Sōryū goes in to attack CIRCUITZ during all of this and manages to get just enough of a corner of the flashy neon bot and pops the flipper, but being only half the weight of CIRCUITZ, it can’t do much. CIRCUITZ gets sent back a few feet, skidding a bit farther due to its mecanums. Jules is right back on it, however, and maneuvers CIRCUITZ away from the chute before Sōryū can capitalize.

We’re halfway through the match and Hiryū gets free of Dr. Cadaver after getting an unneeded operation (though not much in damage other than some cuts in its armor). The two bots try to get out into the main part of the arena to regroup, but Jules doesn’t let them. CIRCUITZ manages to corral Hiryū and charges it, as it was behind it’s partner and still in the outer wing part of the arena. Sōryū chases after CIRCUITZ, but Hii doesn’t want a repeat of Jule’s tactics from earlier and instead feigns a charge. CIRCUITZ immediately reverses to charge at Sōryū, but Sōryū backs away and spins around to get behind Hiryū, but there is confusion between Hii and his teammate and the two bots clip each other, sending both spinning away.

CIRCUITZ pounces on Hiryū as it’s back is on her. CIRCUITZ gets under and pops the flipper...Hiryū gets sent flying, and it lands in the disposal chute! That’s one half of Nikkousen gone! Now Nikkousen is still in this fight as both bots need to be KO’d/OOTA’d, but now Hii is only down to one bot and immediately drives out of the outer wing into the main arena. CIRCUITZ chases after and the two engage in some really impressive maneuvering in the center of the arena. With less than a minute remaining, Sōryū manages to slip under the side of CIRCUITZ after its mecanums slip a bit on the steel floor possibly due to some oil or buildup on the arena floor. Sōryū goes for a flip and this one is a little more impressive than the last attempt and actually gets CIRCUITZ over onto its head. Though, it can’t really do much to push CIRCUITZ around and Jules manages to get it back on its wheels. The last few seconds is basically CIRCUITZ chasing Sōryū around the main arena and just barely clipping it with the flipper. And time is up, what a match! And since one half of Nikkousen was still fully operational, this will go to the judges…

Damage: 4-1 CIRCUITZ

Aggression: 3-2 Nikkousen

Control: 4-1 CIRCUITZ

Your winner by a 10-5 decision, is CIRCUITZ!

Taipan vs Black Salvo

This is one of those matches where it like, looks kinda even going in and then one side gets their face kicked in. Taipan has its moments, but its moments are like, almost shoving black salvo into things before it wiggles free, other than the one flip/wallpin it got that lasted a good 10 seconds. Most of the time BS is just comprehensively out-manuevering taipan though. Alex might be driving well defensively, but his bot really isn’t built to take advantage of that defense – it has poor control, and its weapon isn’t that dangerous to the invertible wedgebot: it mostly just keeps dodging until it over-steers or Dylan hits an angle alex wasn’t anticipating, BS never really giving Taipan the space it needs to counter-aggress. Granted he doesn’t exactly snowball anything either since the hazards in this arena really don’t help either of these bots’ weapon styles, but he does get some wallpins and one short trip to the saw thing.

Aggression: 4-1 Black Salvo
Damage: 3-2 Black Salvo
Control: 4-1 Black Salvo

Your winner, in an 11-4 decision, is Black Salvo!

Mimi-Chan vs Lil' Yeetums

We all know the drill with Mimi by now. It fast, it explode. The match starts and within .001 seconds mimi has gone and. Wait.. what? It HIT?? IT HIT. Both bots are immobile, but since yeetums has left authorities with an identifiable corpse, it gets the win.

Lil YEE wins by KO in 11 seconds

Image

Lightweight

Elrathia Division (A)

Apeirogon has a bye

Scrapper vs Bluetooth

Tri really TRIed (haha geddit xd) to pull a fast one with this whole "oh he didn't declare his config I win bye bye" schtick. Let's meet halfway and go with something along the lines of Frog showing up late, forgetting his flail config at home and thus putting him at a slight disadvantage. Cool? Cool. match is a-go fite robbutts fite

Aaand they're both playing chicken in the center of the arena. Wonderful. It's a back-and-forth of "oooh I'm gonna getcha, gonna getchaaa SIKE you thought" as they inch toward and then immediately back away from one another. Fast forward about 30sec-1min later and we've got Scrapper finally, FINALLY making a move. It lifts the right side up, slides above Bluetooth, and brings it down.

Good news! It instantly tears open Bluetooth's top, dislodging the weapon axle. That thing's broke.
Bad news! One of Scrapper's wedgelets flew off too. The drum's stopped dead in its tracks.

Seeing this, Tri TRIes (looool its even funnier the second time) to rev it back up, but is instead rewarded with the soothing melody of a harsh "vvRRRRrrt". It ain't happening with the drum touching the ground like that. Then they both hug it out with their 1 torque apiece for the remainder of the match.

AGG: 3-2 Scrapper
DMG: 3-2 Scrapper
CTL: 3-2 Scrapper

Scrapper wins by a 9-6 judge's decision.

King Crimson vs Magnolia Pico

Magnolia Pico immediately goes through the opening on the OOTA side of his end of the arena while KingCrimson...just sits there and waits to see what MP does. MP approaches, but Alex tries to draw KC out into the main part of the arena. Hide is refusing, but the referee starts counting KC down as it’s still sitting in its starting square. Finally, KC moves in MP’s direction, but slowly and not wanting to leave the outer wing of the arena. Finally, KC emerges through the doors and engages with MP...we finally have a fight here! KC starts to run around MP, its quicker drivetrain vs MP’s slower legs, but MP isn’t that slow. KC tries baiting MP to misfire, but Alex isn’t falling for that. KC tries more maneuvering tactics and does get under MP, but only manages to push it a little. MP still can turn in place with its legs and catches KC off-guard and brings that hammer down WHAM, it hits on King Crimson’s top cover, completely going through it and piercing a battery. White LiPo smoke starts to fill the arena, but KC isn’t dead, yet. Hide tries to use the smokescreen to their advantage, but seems to be having difficulty seeing through the smoke, like everyone else is. MP then catches KC with another hammer strike on the plow this time, less damage, but now KC has stopped moving. MP nudges it once, then backs off to await the countdown.

Magnolia Pico wins by KO in 1:48!

25 or 6 to 4 vs Eagle's Hawk

Great, I’ve got the damn song stuck in my head now. Well things could be worse, like they end up starting out for 25 or 6 to 4 for example. Trying to sidestep the forks doesn’t really pan out like he wanted and we’re soon treated to Chicago’s Greatest Hits. Well in the sense of the greatest hits into the walls and hazards that is. 25 or 6 to 4 does manage to limp away eventually and finally gets in some offense of his own, but the story of this fight is that Eagles’ Hawk mostly has the advantage during the match and simply refuses to be denied. Eventually the toll of hazards seems to have caused some vital damage to 25 or 6 to 4’s internals and it is no longer capable of movement.

Eagle’s Hawk wins by KO in 2:29


Blood Eagle Division (B)

Boring Grey Wedge has a bye

Golden MADD vs Broken Tooth

Okay, Golden Madd’s spinning up, Broken Tooth’s spinning up and moving out into the middle of the box, but Golden Madd’s just sitting in its starting square and… okay, it’s moving a bit. Broken Tooth rushes in through the Privacy Screen – oh, and Madd springs to life and strafes for it, but not quite quickly enough, because Broken Tooth is naturally rushing to try and make sure the shell spinner doesn’t have any chance to get out of the really small enclosed space. Golden Madd whiffs, but Broken Tooth’s back is exposed. It chases after it, but BT’s quick enough to turn around, and rams it itself – and that’s a huge hit! Both bots get flung into the wall, and Golden Madd tips as it bounces off. Uh oh, he’s coining, he’s coining! Broken Tooth comes in for more, but can’t get a good bite on the sloped side of the shell.

Golden Madd slips away and starts spinning again, but it’s still far from the door. Broken Tooth… ouch, that disc looks like it’s been twisted sideways, but it’s still spinning. There’s more glancing contact as the two poke at each other, until Golden Madd’s able to juke and catch a corner of the wedge, but punts itself into the wall again. Uh oh, and it bounces right into Killamari, bending one of her forks a little. And she does not look happy! I do not envy the next bot to go into that patrol zone.

...Which is Golden Madd, when Broken Tooth gets another hit and yeets it in there. It’s overturned, self-rights pretty quickly with the pole, but takes a big smack from Killamari’s disc that sends it across the wing like a frisbee. That’s put some nice gouges in the shell, too!
Madd finally manages to get out of the wing, but Broken Tooth’s after it like an orderly that’s been sampling the psychoactive drugs! It takes a fairly high-speed hit on its wedge. Golden Madd… avoids hitting the wall, but does coin a little. That hasn’t stopped the shell, though. Broken Tooth can NOT let that thing get up to full speed, or it’s in trouble! It charges, but takes an absolutely brutal hit! Again Golden Madd sends itself into the wall and almost flips over – but Broken Tooth’s disc is stopped! It’s still ready to throw down though, and attacks the stopped shell with its rear wedge, then hammers the stationary blade down on top of it! I don’t think that caused any damage, but it has trapped Golden Madd, and takes it to the Lobotomizer!

Unfortunately, Golden Madd’s a “special” robot, and it’s wearing a helmet due to its tendency to slam itself into walls. Uhh, padded cells were outside our budget. Anyway, the drill misses the holes in the top of the shell, and… well, we all know how much fun trying to drill abrasion-resistant steel is. The hazard operator gives up and lets it go, but Broken Tooth isn’t giving it any space to spin back up, and feeds it right back into the hazard, slowly, slowly easing it in… this is like one of those claw machine games but in reverse. Down comes the clamp, and… down comes the drill! Ohh, and that’s gruesome! It goes right through the gap! I can’t tell if there’s some lexan there but if there is it didn’t do much!

But incredibly, Golden Madd limps away from the hazard, and it’s spinning back up! Broken Tooth has to use the front wedge again, but was smart enough to flip the disc around since it’s not just something for GM to catch. There’s a good deflection, but Madd’s bounced away and gotten back up to speed.
It gets a massive hit that tears off the left side of Broken Tooth’s wedge entirely, but bounces itself into the wall again, and gets wedged ass-first while its shell is stopped. This time it’s taken into the wing of the arena again, and Doctor Cadaver’s waiting for it. Golden Madd tries to spin the shell up, and thrashes itself free with its srimech pole, but it’s definitely having some trouble driving, and isn’t able to get any distance from BT and spin up at the same time. It manages to avoid the Doctor’s operating table for about another forty-five seconds, but this isn’t necessarily a good thing because there’s not much time left in the match, and that means the gloves are off! Medical hygiene? What’s that?

Let’s see if Golden Madd’s self-righting pole gets amputated. Uhh, no it can’t, because Gmadd’s thrashed it into one of the Doctor’s clamping claws without any effect, but the saw comes down and after a while makes it through the top of the shell! There’s only a few seconds left when Golden Madd is set down. It’s still driving, but not spinning, and it’s smoking! It holds on until the buzzer, but a few seconds later bursts into flames. Code Red, we have a code red in the Shellotomy ward – no, not you, Puffy Cloud isn’t fighting for another hour!

Judges’ Decision:

Damage: Golden Madd 2, Broken Tooth 3
Aggression: Golden Madd 0, Broken Tooth 5
Control: Golden Madd 1, Broken Tooth 4

Your winner, by a 12-3 Judges’ Decision, is Broken Tooth!

The Thieving Magpie vs Blood Eagle

Oh dear lord two bots are using baiting strategies this is a great arena isn’t it. Eventually laz leaves his starting area since Danielle’s giving it up for free. Eventually they impact and thieving magpie takes it right in the flipper. It seems okay still though as blood eagle dances away, barely getting into control before TM is back in its face, again taking a nasty hit. Blood eagle slams into a wall and spends the next 20 seconds barely escaping getting escorted to hazards by TM, ending up upside down after a successful flip. Eventually laz gets just enough space to get back up to a dangerous speed, whips around just in time, and delivers a massive hit to TM that sends both bots flying.

Thieving magpie’s side of the arena gets a bit cloudy at this point as it loudly vents CO2. I don’t think it liked that hit very much. It doesn’t much like the next one either, but it perserveres long enough to chase blood eagle about for another half minute or so before laz finally gets in a killing shot.

Your winner, by KO in 1:44, is Blood Eagle!

Wheelosaurus vs Trilobite

Both teams line their bots up in the squares- Uh, Pat, mate, you've put your bot in backwards. What on earth are you doing? Anyway, both bots get moving to the middle of the ring, with Wheelo still blazing around in reverse for whatever reason. Wheelo rolls up and over Trilobite's wedge, and that one statement basically summarizes the majority of the fight: Pat just driving up and over Trilo's wedge. Rocket manages to out-juke Pat's nonsense eventually enough to catch Wheelo side-on, slamming Wheelo into the wall and tipping it over. Once stranded, a second shove has Wheelo sideways in the saws, slicing a slim slit into its swheel. Wheelo does manage to right itself, however, and goes back to blazing around the ring, still driving backwards. Rocket does eventually manage to stop Pat from monstertrucking her machine again, sticking them side-on into the saws once more, making that slit into a cross. Skipping over more evasive nonsense from Wheelo, it ends up stuck in the saws one more time as the buzzer sounds, ending the fight with a shower of spikes from the bot's rear.

Damage: 4-1 Trilobite
Aggression: 5-0 Trilobite
Control: 3-2 Trilobite

Your winner, by a 12-3 decision, is Trilobite!


The Debilitator Division (C)

Mastodonosaurus has a bye

TSA 2.1 vs Shade Fist

Gods what a weird arena. We end up with our first engagement at the doorways to Shade fist’s side, which actually causes TSA to back off and let its opponent through, Alex seeming to not want to challenge him head-on this early. he quickly counter-aggresses, though Shade fist counters this aggression well and gets under, flipping his opponent with a violent hit, then hitting him again in the side right as he’s in the middle of self-righting, narrowly missing dealing big damage to the flipping mechanism. TSA continues to be backed up for the next half-minute or so, but keeps any major hits to its more heavily armored section – it’s definitely having intermittent issues moving though, and alex is having to work hard to keep the bot facing its opponent.

This forces him to take things far more on the defensive than his plans from the pre-match interview, but he does get under after taking a few gentle bumps from shade fist, courtesy of some gyro wheel lift as shade fist loses control momentarily. Alex elects to then fire a flipper directly into a still spinning drumbot. You don’t usually see those kinds of balls out of flipper drivers, and it both pays off and doesn’t pay off. Shade fist does quite the awkward pirouette and slams itself into a wall. TSA’s flipper chooses to not retract properly. He fires it again. It doesn’t retract. He fires it again – ah! There we go, it got back down. Ish. It’s still at an angle but at least it isn’t yelling “please hit me vert daddy” any more.
Shade fist meanwhile is having its own fight with the arena hazards, narrowly avoiding a drill coming down from the ceiling before gyroing itself back upright. They reset. TSA, now with a wonky wedge to accompany its intermittent drive issues – as it again sits perfectly still for a full two seconds: lucky for him shade fist drove up the angled sides instead of under them – is not having a good time, and again eats a few love taps before it get under. The flipper makes an AWFUL noise as it retracts, and for the next 20 seconds or so Shade fist is given a tour of hazards that require it to be held there. It really is just a tour, since he’s able to keep himself from taking any noticeable damage from them – Alex seems to have elected to stop firing the flipper for now, which seems wise given the circumstances. Unfortunately for him his bot then decides to stop working for long enough for shade fist to self-right, line up a perfect shot to his ass, and L A U N C H him into the wall – that’s one, two, three twirls and a smack into the lexan almost eight feet up before TSA comes crashing back down. It self rights, and something comes flying out of the 4-bar mechanism – that thing isn’t retracting… aand it’s also venting CO2 now. The bot also isn’t actually moving, but time was just called so bit of a lucky break there. Small consolidation for the repairs he’s gonna have to do.

Aggression: 3-2 TSA
Damage: 5-0 Shade Fist
Control: 3-2 TSA
Your winner, in a 9-6 decision, is Shade fist!

Fork Factor vs Final Mecha Catbot

The bad news for fork factor is that they definitely put a wheel on backwards, which becomes apparent during testing when they try to strafe and kind of awkwardly trundle along in a twitchy circle instead. The good news is that still kinda works as weird unpredictable movement so I guess they have it in their back pocket if they want to catch catbot off guard. Anywho things happen. I and the fighters conveniently ignore the existence of the doors so this match flows smoothly thank you for that, and we get our first engagement – fork factor factors in those forks and gets a lift that pops catbot up, but not over as v900 slams into reverse.

FF chases for a bit but catbot is able to reset pretty safely, and this time tries to angle in – and kind of gets under before FF does its weird almost-strafe-fuck-wheels-are-wrong thing and gets free. This happens again a few times, until catbot finally gets truly under: and isn’t it just the purple garfield’s luck that they’re in perfect position for a ram and flip into Killimari’s CPZ. Isn’t it just more purple Garfield luck that fork factor eats killimari’s spinner in just the right spot to tear off both its back wheels.

Its still working. Kind of. I mean it’s on fire a little bit and its missing two wheels but its working, and for a while longer it puts up a decent enough fight, even getting in a flip before its batteries finally shit out from the killimari incident.

Your winner, by KO in 1:44, is Final Mecha Catbot!

Dr. Robotnik vs National Security

Now here is another fight where one of the bots is a character. It is also funny that Dr. Robotnik is involved here, because it's known since trailer that Robotnik is hired by the American military in the movie, and yet here, the bot based on him is fighting a Pentagon bot. Anyway, the fight starts with National Security trying to spin up and move to the main area while Dr. Robotnik moves in faster, trying to hit its opponent carefully. Despite having less traction than National Security, Dr. Robotnik is able to point its disc at the melty, which takes a slower time to translate into the main area, but spins up faster.

Both bots soon meet at a full power hit after Dr. Robotnik manages to make National Security position itself into the direction of Killamari, and then both bots strike. Dr. Robotnik is recoiled into the empty area, while National Security is flung right into Killamari's disc and away after that. However, National Security's weapon still works fine despite one of the teeth having a chunk taken from Killamari's hit, and a smaller chunk in another from Dr. Robotnik's bite. However, Dr. Robotnik has it worse. One of the teeth also has its chunk taken, but more significantly. Along the teeth is a small part of the disc too.
Both bots then spin up again with slight shaking, with National Security spinning faster than Dr. Robotnik before it can rush it at safe speed, forcing it to be cautious again. This time, Dr. Robotnik strikes again, flinging National Security into the Lobotomizer, which manages to hold National Security due to its slow speed making it unable to escape in time. However, Dr. Robotnik still loses its damaged teeth, making it unbalanced when spinning. Meanwhile, National Security doesn't take much damage despite the drill digging a hole into where one of the drive motors is, due to its tough armor.

And the bots eventually meet again. Dr. Robotnik manages to throw National Security into Dr. Cadaver, which holds National Security still and saws into one of the wheels, damaging it. Soon, National Security is freed, and despite further breaking the damaged wheel by leaving shredded treads from the spinning and having some damages from hazards and Dr. Robotnik, it is still able to spin fast enough to damage Dr. Robotnik, damaging the other tooth. Dr. Robotnik is soon left unable to damage effectively, but it still tries to hide in the corner and waiting to recoil National Security. More hits and hazard throwing soon follows, which National Security is able to bear, while Dr. Robotnik eventually gets inverted. Soon, National Security manages to hit the part where the disc's belt is, and rips that part of the chassis alongside the axle. As the disc finally dies, National Security rains down more hits on the bot, tearing parts out of the chassis and eventually disabling Dr. Robotnik.

Winner: National Security by KO (2:03)

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Five Fight Card (MW & HW): The Grid

Post by The Monsterworks » Tue Mar 24, 2020 6:14 pm

Hey all, we're DC today, and not the city! Maybe Marvel too, but they're not as bad. Yup, it's time to retcon this whole thing back a few months to before a terrifying pandemic hit and the world pretty much just went, "whew, last night was rough. I think imma just lie here and sleep this one off for a bit." Long story short, we're retconning the hell out of CBC4. It was now filmed months ago, before the apocalypse happened. Y'all can put away your leather, goggles, chainsaws, and ratty-looking muscle cars.

So, how was Birmingham? Exciting. We spent a lot of time at the library. We took a walk in the park before heading downtown for a bit of shopping at Selfridges. In the evening, we visited some pretty canals. Sounds live, right? Right!? Click those links if you haven't. Ethan insists. You don't want to make the little guy mad, do you?

All said and done, we hopped on a train and headed about 100 miles south to the heart of it all. Yes, I'm talking about London. God only knows what the ARC crew will get up to over there. First, however, our middleweight and heavyweight bots will have to contend with the magnificent, TRON-themed arena known as The Grid. Tired of the UK? Worried about fighting in such a dimly-lit arena? Hey, it wasn't my idea! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


The Grid by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: The Grid

Location: London, England, UK

Layout: Rectangular

Size: 40 ft x 50 ft - 2000 square feet

Intended Use: LW - SHW Singles and Doubles

Theme: TRON

Floor Materials: Painted Steel

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena does not use house robots.

Hazards and Features:
  • Light Cycles (8) - The North end of the arena features eight of these heavy but low-velocity drums, stacked in two tiers. They deal moderate to heavy damage and fling bots up to four feet.
  • Off The Grid (1) - The South end of the arena culminates in a 3.5 foot wall, guarding bots from an eight-foot drop into the chasm that lies beyond The Grid. Don't go off-grid. It's bad there.

Achievement: Great Escape - Successfully make it back into the arena from atop the small ledge behind the Light Cycles.

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, March 28, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup.

Middleweight

Heavyweight

Image

Results


Middleweight

Black Dog Division (A)

Pressure Flop II has a bye

Tower of Gray vs Unnamed & Untamed

The match is underway and ToG heads towards U&U while U&U gets away from the OOTA zone behind his starting square and out to the center of the arena. U&U is just a little quicker with the acceleration and tries to get an angle on ToG to get its flipper under, but ToG can turn just as quickly and counters by trying to slip its lifter forks under U&U. They tussle in the center of the arena for almost a minute before Tri fires the puncher on ToG and that catches U&U off-guard. It skids backwards and ToG rushes in to capitalize, slipping its forks under and lifting/clamping U&U. Dylan pops the flipper and U&U quickly escapes, then backs away to regroup. They go at it again, turning and maneuvering to get a shot at each other. ToG’s puncher fires again, but U&U sees that coming and backs away just before it hits, then zips back in and catches ToG’s corner. Dylan pops the flipper and ToG gets sent skyward, but landing well short of the OOTA zone. ToG lands inverted, though, and U&U rushes in to catch it before it can right itself.
~~
ToG does right as U&U gets there and again, Tri uses the puncher to shove U&U away and get back towards the center of the arena. U&U lets ToG run by it, then turns and catches Tri off-guard this time, and pops the flipper, even though he’s facing the other end of the arena. ToG goes airborne again and U&U is right after it to meet it when it lands. Another shot and ToG sails into the light cycles, which catch the sharp edges on ToG’s lifter/clamp assembly and it gets tossed around some before it comes to a rest on the arena floor, the ends of its lifter/clamper bent slightly. At least it’s right-side-up and Tri hits the puncher to keep U&U at bay. Tri then ups the aggression, chasing after U&U and getting a good lift/punch in the final 30 seconds, sending U&U up and landing inverted. U&U is able to right itself and goes in for one final attack on ToG just as time ends. This will go to the judges and it looks like they will have their work cut out for them!

Damage: 3-2 Unnamed & Untamed

Aggression: 3-2 Tower of Gray

Control: 3-2 Unnamed & Untamed

Your winner by 8-7 split decision is Unnamed & Untamed!

Carapace vs Hoarfrost

Hoarfrost has taken out one deathhammer already. Can it take out another? Well, probably not literally, since, it’s running the flipper at reduced pressure so it can use that giant-ass plow.

Hoarfrost approaches tentatively, then jukes away, but Carapace doesn’t take the bait. Possibly because he wasn’t actually expecting to get a chance to be aggressive. Hoarfrost’s circling, Carapace isn’t wanting to make a move though. And there we go, Hoarfrost’s underneath the inside of a pontoon. Both bots fire their weapons at once: doesn’t look like Carapace made contact, but it jostles itself enough to avoid being flipped. It is up on its side, though, and Hoarfrost takes the opportunity to push it over with the raised flipper. Carapace quickly snaps itself back onto its wheels, but it’s got its back to Hoarfrost now. It pirouettes away, dodging an attempt to wedge its tail thingy, and tries to get Hoarfrost in the ass, but misses.

Let’s be honest here, this is… pretty much all Hoarfrost. On the rare occasions when those hammer blocks actually work, they work well. Ooh, apart from that. Carapace finally wins the wedge war and sneaks a blow past the blocker when it reads the J-turn. However it quickly gets flipped and taken to the wall drums. That takes a couple nibbles out of it in the several trips Hoarfrost gives it into the hazard, and I think one of the pontoons may be bent slightly.
Unfortunately Hoarfrost starts smoking in the last forty seconds or so, and the right wheel seems to be stopped, which suddenly allows Carapace to control the pace of the fight, and start raining blows down. Mostly on the hammer blocker, but I’m actually not sure Hoarfrost was moving at the end. Oh, there we go, it twitches when asked to demonstrate mobility, but that mechanical failure could be crucial.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Hoarfrost 1, Carapace 4
Aggression: Hoarfrost 3, Carapace 2
Control: Hoarfrost 4, Carapace 1

Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision… is Hoarfrost!

Spinnerfood vs Lillyfrog and Jack Hammer

this entire match boils down to pat's tiny wedge shoving at spinnerfood from the side while hide tries to smack it. I literally have no idea what pat's trying to do with jackhammer so imma say he keeps trying to come in attack and gets fended off by spinnerfood repeatedly. eventually lillyfrog accidentally fucks up and drive under the spinner and gets disintegrated into a wall a la nightmare vs warrior clan, and this makes jack hammer eventual easy pickings

Spinnerfood wins by KO in 1:33


Crash Blossom Division (B)

The Act of Being Polite has a bye

Acrid vs Magnolia Grande

Noah obviously went for the big plow, Alex decided to put his bot upside down.
Acrid charges forwards at full speed, Mango machine go brrrr. No real box rush happens and Mango gets to full speed because Alex designed each and every single one of his arenas to make box rushing difficult/imposible just so his spinner can go unbeaten in the group stage >:V
Anyways the initial charge ends with a big hit, Acrid ends halfway across the arena and it seems the spinner hit it on the plow mount or something as now one of the arms on the sides is not attached to the plow, instead its just bent sideways, the lifter seems to be working fine tho. Meanwhile Mango flies into the drum hazard and bounces back around where he was a moment ago. Acrid goes at it again but Alex seems to be doing the tombstone bait thing so Noah stops for a moment and Mango keeps turning all the way around (???) so the bot with the plow charges at its opponent when it gives it its back and shoves it into the drum hazard before Alex can quite go all the way around. The bar spinner hits the drum and shit happens with effectively both bots swapping places. Mango did the leap frog thing if you will.
If you are one of those people that just likes to see big hits then the fight kinda gets more boring from now on, we get mostly glancing hits against the thick plow instead of big hits for the most part. If you like the technical driving skill part of the sport it kinda doesn't, Vee900 seems to have mastered the art of "ram my bot straight at the other guy", and over the course of the next ~45 seconds manages to get Mango pinned in the wall at the opposite side of the arena, tries to lift it OOTA but fails miserably. After being released Alex does the tombstone thing and Noah answers by, driving back at forth in place? This leads to an awkward 5-10 seconds before the guy from The Monsterworks decides to just drive off and then Acrid just slams itself against the spinner.
Multiple seconds of rather mediocre hits later and Acrid pins Mango Grande in the corner, doesn't even bother with OOTA this time, the ICE machine goes angrily goes brrr while pointlessly spinning the bar.
Release happens and Mango quickly just goes for an attack, Acrid can now respond with his own ram, Alex turn in the last second at the perfect angle and big hit. Both bots get sent spinning far apart and the other arm holding the plow on Acrid flies off entirely and ends at the other side of the arena. Alex then tries to charge for a followup hit but the fight ends before that happens.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Acrid 0, Magnolia Grande 5
Aggression: Acrid 4, Magnolia Grande 1
Control: Acrid 4, Magnolia Grande 1

Your winner, by an 8-7 Split Decision, is Acrid!

Paradox vs Skoll

"With that, it's all about tanking the initial hit(s), then from there being aggressive, "

yeah gf you went in with 8 armor against a deathspinner you aren't getting any further than the tanking. treads go flying, a fork is hanging at an awful position, and the drum is smoking and making a hell of a griding noise... did it even take direct damage? I dont think so. Paradox can still technically move I guess - HFL gives him a chance to tap out, but alex soldiers bravely onwards, and therefore gets promptly obliterated on the next hit.

your winner, by KO in 0:33, is Skoll!

V-Trigger vs Nick Cage

The fight starts with Nick Cage rushing in while V-Trigger also does the same. V-Trigger soon manages to get under Nick Cage and flicks it over, with the disc hitting under the face, ending the fight quickly as Nick Cage is unable to self right. By the way, the face also gets peeled upward from the hit.

Winner: V-Trigger by KO (00:17)


Diablo Genesis III Division (C)

Space Bee has a bye

Pizza 2 vs Diablo Genesis III

Pizza’s spinning up the disturbingly non-pizza-cutter-shaped bar. Diablo Genesis is going to have to try to avoid taking full-speed hits from that thing. Oh, there it absorbs a good shot, putting a gouge into the top of the plow. So, at least we know Pizza can’t reach over that. Pizza goes flying and clips the floor, but it is still spinning. It’s on the run now though, turning its side towards Diablo, but Diablo doesn’t take the bait and rushes right into the weapon. Oof, and that’s another big, meaty hit! Pizza skids into the wall. The blade doesn’t make contact, but it is still slowed by the impact itself, and Diablo’s able to get in and flip it!

Pizza lands, uhh… I think both sides are cheese side up. It tries to run off but Diablo’s very quick with the clamping action. This is kind of a precarious position though: Pizza’s grabbed from the side, and has enough space to spin its blade, which it could easily pivot into Diablo’s side if Diablo isn’t very careful with the release. Or, possibly, feeds it straight into the wild fling – wait this is a different neon-lit arena with wall drums isn’t it? But Pizza certainly takes a wild fling! It smacks itself loose from Diablo’s side and sails into the wall again, wobbling a bit! But it’s still spinning, and away from Diablo’s clutches. Diablo gives chase, Pizza spins around – oh, man, and clips the side of the wedge hard! Diablo gets spun away, and there’s a serious indentation in the side of the wedge. It looks like that hit’s warped the support structure as well, and the flipper arm’s a bit twisted.
However, Diablo’s saving grace is that unlike some spinners Pizza doesn’t have the height or the reach to get over its ABR wedge, and the next time Diablo gets a pin it’s got something in the way of Pizza’s bar. It delivers it to the corner again. Holds, releases, backs away… and is under again with another flip, and Pizza almost goes out of the arena! Watch it, you’re gonna get it stuck to the lid!
So as it turns out Diablo gets another pin before Pizza can spin back up, and in total wastes a solid minute before the audience’s Instacart order of tomatoes shows up and Drew has to feed Pizza to the Wild Flings again. This time the drum teeth actually catch one of the gaps in the spinner – and PIZZA’S OUT OF THE ARENA! That’s 120 lbs, yeeted onto the ledge on top of the light cycles! But Pizza stage dives back into the ring! WWE sign this robot a contract! It gets hit by the drums again, and it looks like a wheel lost some tread, but it’s back in this match!
Diablo remains in steady control, though, but the arm is severely warped and buckled after a couple more big hits from Pizza, and it almost looks like a beak now. But Pizza can’t finish it off, and it ends up going the distance.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Pizza 4, Diablo Genesis 1
Aggression: Pizza 1, Diablo Genesis 4
Control: Pizza 1, Diablo Genesis 4

Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges’ Decision, is Diablo Genesis! But the winner of the Great Escape achievement is Pizza 2!

Remi 4 vs Momma Bear

The bots get set to go in their squares....wait...no, Remi, you start over in the purple square. There, the bots are set and it’s robot fightin’ time!

Remi charges out of its square and aims for whichever of the Momma Bear trio that it reaches first, while the two cubs (Santi & Ella-Louise) run out ahead of Momma Bear. Remi aims for both since they seem to be sticking close to one another, and closes in, looking to catch both with its drum. The cubs then angle away from each other. Remi ends up chasing after Santi while Ella-Louise tries to get under the other side of Remi. Remi and Santi tangle, seeing who can get under who when EL slips under and pops its flipper, which causes Remi to jump into the air a bit, but not flip over. Remi immediately reverses direction and the two cubs almost end up colliding with each other. Momma Bear rolls in and ‘herds’ Remi back towards the cubs. It goes after EL this time while fighting off Santi, which tries to get a good flip on Remi, and does. Remi gets upended and is now running inverted, but EL is stuck under Remi! Remi guns the drum to either make contact with the cub or get off of it. EL goes and ‘feeds’ Remi to Santi, who flips Remi off of EL. Remi is back right-side-up once again and backs off from the cubs. Except that Momma’s waiting and it wedges itself under Remi from behind, forcing its drum to hit the arena floor. Santi mistakenly comes too close to Remi’s drum and gets punted a few feet across the arena. The cub survives, but with some drive issues and it doesn’t have the speed that it did at the start of the match.
~~~~
EL finally tosses Remi off of it and Remi tumbles over onto its back, but turns and denies EL another shot and then uses Momma as a ‘ramp’ to run up and catch its drum onto to flip itself back over again, then quickly turns and catches Momma in one of her wheels. That does nothing to Momma Bear and she gets another wedge under Remi, stopping its drum and then reversing, leaving Remi to the cubs, which swarm it and manage to flip it a few more times before Santi gets clipped by Remi’s drum again and now has lost one side of drive. Momma steps in for the downed cub and continues to pester Remi for the final seconds of the match. This will go to the judges!

Damage: 4-1 Remi

Aggression: 4-1 Momma Bear

Control: 3-2 Momma Bear

Momma Bear wins by 8-7 Judges’ decision!

Dragonfist vs Here Comes the Sun

This one could be interesting folks. One bad landing from HCtS and Dragonfist is in trouble. The match starts and immediately HCtS begins bouncing absolutely everywhere. Dragonfist, on the other hand, manages to spin up and make it's way to the center of the arena before trying to follow the spiked orb. This continues for a surprisingly long time with dragonfist getting in a couple glancing blows. It's getting late in the match and quite frankly, despite having two very entertaining bots going at it, the audience is beginning to nod off. Only to be woken up by what sounds like a goddamn bomb going off in the arena. It appears as if Dragonfist might be a baseball fan, because it's just pitched HCtS across the arena and through the lexan! Good thing this was the last fight this week, that's gonna take a while to fix.

Your winner, by OOTA (literally) in 2:17, is Dragonfist!

Image

Heavyweight

Hellhound Division (A)

Electro-Death has a bye

Petaflare vs The No Fun Machine

Match starts, Gabe leans back and says something to the effect of "haha flail spinner go brrrrrr" as No Fun Machine gets up to speed. Petaflare tries to box rush with a 5 speed spinner.

(pause for psuedo-dramatic effect)

It doesn't work. Bad Time Machine slaps Petaflare's front with the atatatataPOW combo, putting little more than a scratch in the hefty plow. Petaflare's able to knock it back into the drums a few times, though it isn't to much effect. This lasts for maybe a minute tops before repeated shock damage causes the plow to crap out and fly off. With nothing but a 6 armor chassis remaining, I think you can deduce what the big-ass chain spinner does from there. Hot knife, meet butter.

No Fun Machine wins by KO in 1:12.

Padoru Machina vs Santangelo

Now for yet another character fight. There's Dr. Robotnik (same name), Jafar (The Grand Vizier), Utsuho (Petaflare), other character based bots I may miss, and Nero Claudius (Padoru Machina). Now it's going to fight the downscaled SHW champion from last year, Santangelo.

The fight starts with Padoru rushing halfway first, then stopping to adjust to get under Santangelo. However, Santangelo is prepared for this and adjusts accordingly to force oversteer on Padoru. However, YS is able to still drive it effectively to get under Santangelo despite Laz watching out for it, and the drum soon starts chaining the flipper. Santangelo is thrown several times by Padoru, ends up on the Light Cycles, and gets chained again into the walls.

Santangelo eventually escapes and both bots reset. This time though, Padoru isn't as lucky. Santangelo now fully expects the move when Padoru tries the same thing with getting under, and instead baits Padoru to oversteer. It works as Santangelo exploits it, but Padoru escapes and causes another reset. The second time, Santangelo manages to get under again and flip it, start snowballing, and gets Padoru to the drums. By the end, Padoru gets some scratches, with Santangelo catching it again and pinning it as much as possible on the wall. When it lands on its back, it tries to self right by ramming on the wall drum-first, which works, but Santangelo is already on its feet.
Before the flipper can fire however, Padoru escapes. By this time, the fight is halfway in and Santangelo has the lead through better control. However, Padoru is still aggressive and this time, it gets under Santangelo again, continuing its chaining for long. When one minutes remains, Santangelo recovers and is able to control Padoru again, but it escapes more quickly before Santangelo can really pin it. Another moment of control goes to Padoru as it chains Santangelo on the hazards and leaves it inverted, exploiting the slow selfrighting for more chains. With just few seconds left, Santangelo recovers again and manages to get a control again on Padoru, flicking it against the drum as the timer runs up.

Judge's Decision:
Damage: 3-2 Santangelo
Control: 3-2 Padoru Machina
Aggression: 3-2 Padoru Machina

Winner: Padoru Machina by 8-7 Judge's Decision

FusterCluck vs Wallop

It may just be me, but I get the urge to start humming the American Gladiators theme when I look at the arena. I also kinda would have expected FusterCluck to have some kind visual relation to a rooster, but that’s neither here nor there. What is here AND there is this match! In fact it turns in to a right clustermug! Okay, enough with the overhype. Owing, no doubt, to the toxic chemicals in the paint they just huffed, Carp decides to hamper FusterCluck’s speed to defend against Wallop. The end result is FusterCluck getting walloped as Wallop avoids the flipper. Wallop chains him around a bit. While the physical damage is fairly light, it looks pretty impressive. FC finally turns on the jets a bit when he gets a few moments to breath, but keeps up with the more conservative approach. Ultimately it’s not really paying dividends. FC gets more assertive later on in the fight, but it might be a bit too little too late. We’ll go to the judges.

Aggression: 3-2 Wallop
Damage: 4-1 Wallop
Strategy: 3-2 Wallop

Wallop wins 10-5


Black Diamond Division (B)

Xtreme pneumatiX has a bye

Fork Bomb vs linkinparknumb.mp3.exe

Both bots quickly rush one another, colliding right in the middle of the ring with Linkin Park being the one to get under, bringing their weapons down on one another almost at once, landing solid blows atop one another, shards of white thrown up from Fork Bomb's attack. Both bots strike again, with one of Linkin Park's wedges splintering apart from the continued assault, before it strikes back, causing a plume of magic smoke to erupt from Fork Bomb. It's pretty clear Fork Bomb isn't moving once both bots separate, so the fight is called ASAP to clean up that smog.

linkinparknumb.mp3.exe wins by KO in 0:27.

KILL 'EM ALL vs Glacier III

The fight starts with KILL 'EM ALL rushing Glacier III. It's initially able to do so before Glacier gets to full speed despite it getting away from the walls and hazards, allowing the hammer to tank it. It then tries to hook the spinner with a hammer, only for it to raise its plow. Now struggling to attack, Glacier is able to get a full hit in on the plow, throwing the hammerbot away.

KILL 'EM ALL soon continues its way, only to eat another full power hit on the hammer, which gets bent sideway from it. Still, it persists and tries to hook again, only for Glacier to once again hit it, bending it more. However, Glacier does get sent flying into the Light Cycles, tossing it away. It doesn't get inverted or damaged much however, and continues its way. With the hammer being compromised, Shaba decides to have the plow tank the hit first and manages so with the front, causing a tear to appear in it.
KILL 'EM ALL once again rushes Glacier and manages to do so without getting hit at full speed, then hooks the hammer again, but by this point, it has become inefficient. Glacier immediately punishes KILL 'EM ALL with a hit on the hammer shaft when KILL 'EM ALL tries to block it, tearing it away entirely. Now without a hammer, KILL 'EM ALL is forced to use its plow to smother Glacier. It manages to throw it to the wall and even Light Cycles, but only a little because of both its slow speed for smothering, as well as Glacier being heavier due to being a walker.

The match continues to the end, with Glacier sometimes getting hits on the corner of the plow, peeling it away. Few seconds before the match ends, the plow finally gives up and falls away when Glacier hits it from the side, with the same hit also taking out a front wheel from KILL 'EM ALL. The hammerbot also starts smoking. Fortunately, there's not much time left, so the hammerbot limps away and outruns Glacier.

Judge's Decision
Damage: 5-0 Glacier
Control: 3-2 Glacier
Aggression: 4-1 KILL 'EM ALL

Winner: Glacier III by 9-6 Judge's Decision

Outrage 3 vs Pink Wedge 2020

hello yes its saturday short writeup. pink wedge box rushes. Outrage isn't exactly up to speed but he gets a lucky bounce that gets him to the middle of the arena, and Pink wedge is forced to take another full-force hit before smothering him, putting down the clamp, and giving us a full 30 seconds of domination as pat parades drew about the arena before releasing him onto the drums, which take outrage for a bit of a ride and invert it.

pink wedge easily re-smothers and this repeats, before outrage finally gets free and up to speed again halfway though the match. Pink wedge struggles a lot more to smother him when he's like this actually since it's so short, and it actually manages to lose its clamp arm to Outrage as it gets underneath him again and tries to smother unsuccessfully. fortunately for pat, this impact again flips the unstable gigantic spinner, and smothering becomes much easier. despite looking like it would fall completely apart in another hit or two from the punishment outrage has given pink wedge, pink wedge never does give outrage the chance to get in more impactful hits, and rides out the rest of the match shoving it into various corners.

Aggression: 4-1 Pink wedge
Damage: 5-0 Outrage
control: 4-1 Pink wedge

your winner in an 8-7 decision is Pink wedge!


Broken Ghost Division (C)

Swamp Thing has a bye

Icebreaker vs Dreadnought Mk. 4
I'll be aggressive but strategic
There it is!



You wanna know what else Dreadnought makes sure to get in? The front corners of Icebreaker's thin wedge. Dreadnought makes quick work of getting under, but isn't quite able to slide the opponent far enough up it's wedge to get a good flip in. That's the trouble with front-hinges: great if you've got the speed for them, near-useless if you don't. Icebreaker hooks off, Dreadnought chases after and tries to swipe at him some more.

It's... surprisingly not all that effective? Icebreaker gets dangerously close to the flipper, yes, but it also keeps swerving and backing up. You know how the saying goes, though. Running, inability to hide, all that jazz. Eventually Icebreaker gets goaded into the drums and takes a bump on the ass. GF does some melodramatic "PICK A GOD AND PRAY" bullshit as if he's about to end this match right here right now, when in reality he just juts forward and juggles Icebreaker on the drum a bit. Again, no real physical damage to his bot. Moral damage? Maybe. But definitely nothing along the lines of "sparks fly, robots die". This keeps up for another 15 (or so) seconds until Icebreaker's able to escape. Icebreaker mounts an almost-comeback and slides under a couple of times, but he isn't able to get Dreadnought out of the arena soon enough before the buzzer rings.

AGG: 3-2 Dreadnought
DMG: 3-2 Dreadnought
CTL: 4-1 Dreadnought

Dreadnought wins by a 10-5 judge's decision.

p.s. I couldn't find your "sawtooth wedge" anywhere in signups GF so I just used your regular wedgelets instead.

Long Arm of the Law vs Defenestrator

This match is looking to be pretty tight, with two very similarly designed and statted machines. We'd best get rolling, then! Both bots start out quickly slamming together, Defenestrator winning the wedge-off. Hoisting the other bot high, Defenestrator rolls up to the Light Cycles, slamming Long Arm down onto the rollers inverted. After a bit of tumbling, the bot's free once more, going back on the offensive with a slightly scuffed looking paintjob. This time, Long Arm's the one sneaking under, managing to rather impressively predict HFL's approach and get a near broadside attack, lifting and neatly stacking Defenestrator into the rollers, like how it had been about thirty seconds earlier. A few chunks of red rubber get tossed into the air as Defenestrator escapes, getting back into the thick of it. The battle continues in a fairly similar style, both bots getting plenty of opportunities to sneak under the other, with Defenestrator taking a bit more time to show off, at one point doing a Sir Killalot style spin launch, but by the time the buzzer sounds, both bots are fully functional, though still rather scuffed and battered from the battle. This looks to be a tight one.

Damage: 3-2 Long Arm of the Law
Control: 3-2 Defenestrator
Aggression: 3-2 Long Arm of the Law

Your winner, by an 8-7 decision, is Long Arm of the Law!

Killer Queen vs Tabor Mark 4

KQ starts in the green square, Tabor in the other one with OOTA behind it.
The fight begins with both robots charging at each other, KQ going for the quick OOTA while Tabor going for not getting quick OOTAed. Hide goes for a circle strafe to get under the side of those forks in the 5B plow (I hold Tabor entirely responsible of the 3 configs max, no exceptions, rule that is getting to newer events. Seriously, 10 wedges?!) and actually succeeds at it, but in doing so it took too much time and is now facing Tabor from the side and has successfully managed to completely waste his shot at an OOTA, congratulations for your big brain move.
Anyways Killer Queen is under and fires its weapon to get an inefficient looking flip that manages to flop Tabor on its side, KQ goes for a followup but the turret robot self righted far faster than Sirens / Hide was expecting, still the 5B plow is now upside down so KQ can still get under it to get a better flip. The flipper gets another, flip but this time the plow goes from being inverted back to normal, so the chain ends when tabor gets its forks under. Tabor Mark 4 lifts up the Type 5B plow a bit and now there is literally nothing that Killer Queen can do as all of its wheels are off the floor, this actually ends up being not too bad because when inevitably Tabor shoves it into the Light Cycles a few seconds later the wheels aren't the thing that eat the hit, so no KOs here.
Killer Queen does a 270° flip on the air, landing on the back and barely tipping over to the upright position, now it's back and time for more flips. Lots of circle strafing later Sirens gets tired of trying to outpace the turret by a decent margin and tries to head in, and gets under anyways lol. Flip, followup with another Flip, then another, then another one and nope this time Tabor was able to get the plow in the right position this time to get under and stop the chain that was about 2/3 of the way to the low wall.
Tabor then lifts up again and this time the plow goes all the way up while moving forwards in an attempt to flip, what ends up happening is that Killer Queen ends up perfectly vertical with the back on the floor and no wheels making any kind of contact. Rocket figures it's of her best interest to back off a bit and watch the fireworks, KQ fires the flipper but it doesn't manage to do much other than barely shake the bot, then it fires again and again and... this goes for a while and it starts to get counted out but eventually KQ manages to get back upright, lots of CO2 wasted there.
Of course Tabor Mark 4 was waiting in the perfect position to get under right away and push the flipper into the Light Cycles again, the bot does a full 360° and lands upright, ready to circle strafe around and manages to get under and flip Tabor into the hazard as a revenge. Tabor lands right way up too and denies the next move my Hide, Tabor uses the lifter to flip Killer Queen over like a pancake and just waits for it to self right. Several failed attempts later it would get counted out but the 3 minutes are over along with the fight.

Judges’ Decision:
Damage: Killer Queen 1, Tabor Mark 4 4
Aggression: Killer Queen 3, Tabor Mark 4 2
Control: Killer Queen 1, Tabor Mark 4 4

Your winner, by an 10-5 Judges’ Decision, is Tabor Mark 4!

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

User avatar
The Monsterworks
Posts: 1287
Joined: Thu May 26, 2016 12:00 am
Location: Canada, for now
Team: The Monsterworks

Round Six Fight Card (FW & LW): Asylum

Post by The Monsterworks » Mon Mar 30, 2020 10:28 pm

Okay, so yeah. London. All the Britbongs were incredibly at home here, except not really. Cassie preferred her coastal digs. Alex V is a proud midlander. London was a bit overwhelming for Trihunter. Ethan, as we all know, is paradoxically very Brummie and very Welsh. TBR is an AI, of course. Pat is Pat. He does not live in London. He lives in a world of his own imagination.

We wanted to see Big Ben, but it was under renovation, so that drove half of ARC to drinking. Mind you, we were in the right place to do it. What else is there to do in England? Pubs, friend, pubs. Sure, we did other London stuff. A few people rode the buses in between crowds of obnoxious Chinese and American tourists. Alex V had a tussle for the ages with some pigeons in Trafalgar Square. We're not sure if Admiral Nelson approved of his attempts to break up their compact defensive formation. Jules took a million pictures as usual and played some mean dodgeball with local schoolkids. We're still not sure if their teachers mistook her for a student. Meanwhile, the current ARC Fab Four of Laz, Gabe, Alex, and HFL recreated the famous Abbey Road album cover totally uniquely and not looking like tourists until Ethan photobombed them. Apparently, we didn't forget him in Birmingham. Last but not least was Dylan. He, Super, and a couple of others headed down to Goodwood on a day trip, where they ran into Noisy. It was a special day for our resident motorsport enthusiasts, as they each got a turn behind the wheel of the world's fastest automobile... from 1905 or other similar creations. Following which, something akin to Wacky Races ensued, with Noisy coming out of nowhere and taking it in a photo finish. He proceeded to break out a Scottish flag, a bottle of champagne, and a Toucan and just be... ugh, obnoxious about winning.

It didn't take the rest of us long to realize that there were so many things to be seen that we wouldn't have time to see them all. So we decided to employ Hide. He uh... hid. All over London and the surrounding countryside. We found him in the basement of the Tower of London pretending to be a ghost. He only scared Code. Code is easy to scare. We spotted him on a riverboat on the Thames. He was dragged out from under a table at an Indian restaurant in East London. Finally, he uh... disappeared. We honestly couldn't find his next hiding place and we sincerely hope the little guy's okay. Really.

We also hope you'll all enjoy our return to Birmingham. Yes, we know that Ethan will. Aside from the Beatles thing, it's all he's been prattling on about the entire week. That's right: our featherweights and lightweights will be doing battle once again in the antiseptic operating room of Asylum, amid keening drills and whirring saws. Will they go insane? Will we!? God knows some of us probably are already. Annoyed that we're goign back to the same place only a week later? Think we should've just stayed there? Hey, I'm not the one in charge here! Blame Elon Musk! Anyways, let's take a look.

Image


The Asylum by Floating Castle Robotics on Sketchfab

Name: The Asylum

Location: Birmingham, England

Layout: large square flanked by two smaller rectangles

Size: 30 x 30 (main square), 16 x 24 (each flanking rectangle) - 1668 square feet

Intended Use: FW-MW Singles and Doubles

Theme: insane asylum operating room

Floor Materials: steel

OOTA Zone?: YES

House Robots: This arena employs a pair of house robots that represent the duality of the arena: Doctor Cadaver being the medical and Killamari representing insanity. They patrol the caution-striped zones in the rectangular sections and, sometimes, their operating procedures can get a bit...messy. While they have been instructed to hold back from using their full power, they tend to forget this instruction during the final thirty seconds of the match and may hit you very hard indeed.
Doctor Cadaver
Show
Doctor Cadaver
Image

Image

Stats: Speed 5 / Traction 5 / Torque 5 / Weapon 15 (3 lifter, 3 clamp arms, 11 saw - 3-point saw arm) / 6 armor (+6 house robot bonus)
Killamari
Show
Killamari
Image

Image

Stats: Speed: 6 / Traction: 4 / Torque: 3 / Weapon: 19 (+5 lifter) / Armour: 4+6
Hazards and Features:
  • Bonesaws (2) - These are powerful horizontal saws mounted in the two of the four corners of the central arena. They pop out when robots pass into their strike zones (marked in yellow and black caution paint) and for as long as they remain there, dealing damage equal to a seven weapon power saw
  • Lobotomizers (2) - Located in the other two corners of the main arena, the Lobotomizers are clamp hazards that hold robots still for ten seconds while a powerful drill descends to deal heavy damage. A robot must remain within their caution zone for at least three seconds for the Lobotomizers to activate.
  • Privacy Screen (2) - Cutting the starting squares off from the larger arena, these lexan barriers prevent either robot getting a straight shot at the other at the start of a match. Movement between the main atrium and outer wings of the arena takes place through either of the entrances flanking a Privacy Screen.
  • Disposal Chutes (2) - The two disposal chutes run along the left sides of each of the arena's rectangular wings and each is guarded by a three foot wall. Bots that are flipped, lifted, or thrown over them will end up in a deep pit of despair, unable to escape.

Achievement: This won't hurt a bit! - knock an opponent out using the lobotomizers

Image

The Fight Card

Below are the week's fights. RPs will be due on Saturday, April 4, at 11:59 PM EST. The RP limit is 400 words, where it will remain until the playoffs. Remember to inform your opponent of configuration choices by Wednesday night if they are not patently obvious or clearly posted in your signup. Remember that the higher ranked bot always starts in the green square.

Featherweight

Lightweight

Image

Results


Featherweight

Firebird Division (A)

Gabrial has a bye

NRG 2 vs Black Dog

Puffy Cloud vs Angry Bird: Seed Killer Gen 2

Vindicator vs I Can't Believe it's Not Tanto


Vorpal Bunny Division (B)

The Grand Vizier has a bye

Gas Gas Gas vs Ori

Chinesium II vs Irritant

Wasp 2 vs Untitled Goose Robot


Torque Dirty 2 Me Division (C)

Mimi-Chan has a bye

Lil' Yeetums vs Black Salvo

Nikkousen vs Taipan

CIRCUITZ vs Finishing Move

Image

Lightweight

Elrathia Division (A)

25 or 6 to 4 has a bye

Eagle's Hawk vs Magnolia Pico

Bluetooth vs King Crimson

Apeirogon vs Scrapper


Blood Eagle Division (B)

Wheelosaurus has a bye

Trilobite vs Blood Eagle

Broken Tooth vs The Thieving Magpie

Boring Grey Wedge vs Golden MADD 2


The Debilitator Division (C)

Dr. Robotnik has a bye

National Security vs Final Mecha Catbot

Shade Fist vs Fork Factor

Mastodonosaurus vs TSA 2.1

Image

Mastodon... Extinction (HW)
Osiris... Armageddon! (MW)
Elrathia... ROBOTS (LW)
Magnolia Pico... Ruination 4 (MW)
RipTide... ROBOT2 (FW)
Black Diamond... Cherry Bomb Classic 3 (HW)
MADSCIENCE... ROBOTS 3 (LW)
Abyss... ROBOTS 3 (MW)


The Monsterworks: 201-55 (.785) ...Probably up to no good.
Cherry Bomb Classic IV: 12-2
Show
Finishing Move: 2-2
Magnolia Pico: 4-0
Magnolia Grande: 3-0
Glacier III: 3-0
ROBOTS 3: 21-6
Show
Sixpounder: 3-4
MADSCIENCE: 9-1 Champion!
Abyss: 9-1 Champion!

Post Reply