Post
by Whammerist » Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:50 pm
This is THE fight. Like, it’s THE fight. I cannot express how much I am quaking in anticipation for this shitshow. Okay uhhh fuck WHAT do I do
Advantages -
1) I cannot die. I am immortal. All fear me, especially if you’re like a 1 pound cluster that needs a couple hundred eons to do any damage to me.
1b) wait actually I can maybe die if I get flipped over and the threat as far as that goes is the little monkey bar doohangle on Mini Something... ok wait I have a plan
THE PLAN:
Boom, I “”rush”” to the middle of the box seeking my target - I don’t care about BRICK because lmao it’s so goddamn small and I can just ramp it, and I can catch COSO between his little saw arm and wedge boy and since his torque is a joke I just keep going, unless he’s at my wheels in which case I especially don’t care because I drive over and past him before he can do any damage.
Once Mini-Something is in my sights — I need to pre-empt him, because he’s a tiny bit faster - we are going full on goddamn Tokyo Drift in an attempt to catch this man’s sides. Keep in mind, I don’t have to do this WELL! But the little bugger’s wedglets only give him anything from the very front, so if I angle it at all, I’m solid — once I catch him wherever I catch him, as long as I’m not directly at his front — we can pick him up and SMESHHHH — the reason we do this drift shift is two-fold:
1) No dealing with the wedge or bar that can maybe flip me
2) I want to scoop and SLAMMM him - there’s no J-Hooking tonight baby, his tiny ass is in my static scoop and he ain’t escaping because I didn’t ever stop the pain train, I’m still going full speed and I’ve caught his 1 armor ass at the corner — once I slam, I’m dealing big damage against the wall considering my speed and torque with his insanely low armor, and hopefully getting corner damage bending in those wheel guards on their edges with my angling in, or just smashing a wheel for double damaging and crippling his tiny low-armor bot entirely. That’s a goddamn W. The crowd is on it’s feet. My parents finally love- okay nvm we’ve got to keep fighting - at the very least, Chair now has his first and only damage points (yay!! contingency: escape away if I’m getting fuckled)
Now that one bot is neutralized, two more to go: target them just based on who is in front of me first or who I can get in front of me —
COSO - Just easily out-torque and slam him, it won’t KO but I get easy control and the saw cannot hurt me.
BRICK — uhh just ramp over it or maybe push it if I don’t I still win torque I dunno LMAO
Possibly cropped but alive Mini Something - go for that slam again, should be easier now that it’s mostly ded, let’s get a for real KO
UHHH yeah that’s a thing!! Remember to drive smart, not tumbling over is my top priority, and adapt if anything wack happens, you get the drill — good luck to both bots!!!